Microsoft’s E3 Conference: Liveblog


Hello everyone from Los Angeles. E3 is about to kick off with the Microsoft conference. For the last couple of years I’ve done these Liveblogs from Australia. In my dressing gown and underwear. Today? I’m fully clothed. I’m awake. And I’m ready to descend into E3 madness.

What are you expecting to see? What are you hoping for? Part of me thinks things can’t really get any worse for Microsoft, therefore this should probably be a good show in that we’ll leave with a slightly better perception of the Xbox One. Surely?

Microsoft has been claiming this is the moment we’ll see the games themselves, so let’s um… get hype? Possibly? Or at the very least sit with our arms folded and grimace. Entertain me Microsoft. ENTERTAIN ME!

2.00: People, just a heads up. Today I had an omelette instead of porridge for breakfast. I know, poor choice. But if this livestream feels less ‘porridgey’ somehow? That’s why. The omelette was pretty delicious though. Many people have suggested to me that I should have added porridge to my omelette. That’s an idea so crazy it might just work…

2.01: Man, I’ve been awake for ages. Super jetlagged. How are you all feeling? I sort of miss just sitting in the dark all weird, in my underpants, sipping on some ungodly caffeinated drink…

2.06: And I am tiiiired. Need moar HYPE. People give me your hype, let me become engorged and strong on your hype!

2.09: [SUCKS IN AIR, STARTS FLOATING… ELECTRICITY SPARKS] HYYPPPPEEEEE…. I FFFEEEEELLLL THE HYPE…

2.10: You know, in all seriousness, I think this will be a good conference for Microsoft. I think there will be a focus on the games. We’ll get a real idea of how strong Microsoft’s launch will hopefully be. We’ll get a better idea of what we’re in for I think. I am actually pretty excited for this.

2.12: But now? I must pee!

2.16:

2.17: Dirth, I am riding high on your enthusiasm. YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME. (Good luck in your exam btw!)

2.27: We had the wrong embed on our page — refresh now and you should have it now! LET’S GO!

2.29: Oh man oh man oh man. I guess I’m starting to get a little bit hyped now… THERE IS A ROCK CLIMBING GAME ON KINECT AIIIIEEEEEE!

2.30: Harsh! LOL.

2.31: Geoff Keighley seriously hinting at the Killer Instinct thing. I don’t really feel like I need a new Killer Instinct.

2.33: I can think of a million other titles I’d prefer to see brought back. Well, maybe not a million…

2.26: A BIG SURPRISE. OH LET’S GOOOOOO…

2.28: METALLLLL GEAAAAAR! ARGHHGHGHGHGHGh

2.41: Wow. I have a lot of thoughts about this. Don’t even know where to start. MGSV looks incredible. It also looks like a lot of other games, doesn’t it? Man, it’s hard to get used to Non-Hayter Snake. HORSE STEALTH though! A lot of cool little details for MGS fans as well.

2.43: They’ve wanted to do this for so long. Microsoft have been desperate to take the MGS series to Xbox in a serious way. Great start.

2.44: They do sound like they’re committed to Xbox 360. Good call. Ah, and also doing the PSN+ thing. Smart.

2.47: World of Tanks on Xbox 360 as an exclusive. This might be big. Might be. In saying that, I thought Minecraft wouldn’t work on 360. LOLOLOL

2.50: Oh man, that bike guy is just waiting for the GIFs. Actually I think he’s playing for GIFs. He wants to be GIF’d real bad.

2.51: DARK SOULS. HNNNNNNNNNG. Trailer was a bit ‘bro’. But the game looks great.

2.53: Oh Ryse. This still exists I suppose!

2.56: Whoa, this really looks good. Visually quite massive in scale.

2.57: I guess we can use the word visceral to describe a video game again. Jesus this is violent.

2.59: Ha!

3.00: Push X to visceral.

3.02: Ha! Killer Instinct. WHY IS EVERYONE CHEERING. Man, it was good. But geeze… I suppose people are nostalgic for it, but yeah. I don’t feel like I ever really needed a new Killer Instinct.

3.04: This looks cool. Really cool art, but I want to see exactly how it plays. It’s weird, but I have a feeling that trailer doesn’t really represent how it’ll actually play. Also — it’s zombies and guns. Again.

3.06: But you know what? Microsoft is really bringing the games.

3.07: THIS IS A CAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR [/batman]

3.08: YOU HAVE A DRIVATAR! What the hell is a drivatar? And what was with that music and that monologue!

3.10: You can accumulate points while you don’t play. Revolutionary! It’s like Candies!

3.11: Phil Harrison bringing the bald. I’ll be there soon Phil. I’ll be there soon.

3.12: Phil Harrison: WE LIKE INDIE. HAVE SOME MINECRAFT. [moonwalks off stage]

3.15: Oh wow, Quantum Break just got cool. STOPPING TIME LIKE IN BEWITCHED! This is actually super interesting. I like the concept. I’m interested in this game.

3.18: This looks like a Kinect voice version of LBP.

3.21: Project Spark looks pretty interesting, but these presenters are… insincere. Almost as if they’re too rehearsed. Feels like an infomercial.

3.27: At least we got a chance to see Killer Instinct again.

3.28: Actually this is interesting: I like sharing video, that sort of thing was fun with Halo 3. I wish more games did it. Seems like all games will do it on Xbox One.

3.28: Wow, that twitch thing is a game changer. That’s really, really awesome. I like this partnership a lot. i think it will be a big deal.

3.29: No more spacebucks! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

3.31: Dead Rising 3! Woo? I’m excited at least.

3.32: Bt at the same time. Zombies. More zombies. Remember when the first Dead Rising came out and zombies were kinda new and cool and stuff. Yeah that was a while ago. But whatevs! I’ll still play it. GRUDGINGLY.

3.34: Also — why so serious? Why remove the one point of difference your game has over all the millions of other zombie games out there? Come on man? Where’s my chainsaws that I can attach to motorcycles?

3.37: That driving scene was bananas though! Whoo zombies flying everywhere like ten pin bowling or something! (My brains too fried for good metaphors…)

3.39: The weird thing is, I never really played either of The Witchers, but this excites me. I think I could really get behind this game. It looks great.

3.41: Maybe it’s the beard. It must be the beard.

3.42: NO SOUND! WE WILL START OVAH. THIS ISN’T AWKWARD AT ALL.

3.45: I guess the ship ripped in half. That’s cool. But yeah. I know zilcho about Battlefield’s single player. Not much investment in this. Moar shooting. I don’t know if I’m feeling all that excited about this. Games like this make me feel a little dull on games in general.

3.47: I know it looks great, I know the tech is incredible, but I just don’t want this any more. I just don’t.

3.50: Below looks gorgeous. It feels familiar. But it looks utterly original and different. Wow. I love the look and feel of that game.

3.54: Alright you may be sick of Halo (I’m not) but you have to admit, that was an awesome, awesome entrance.

3.55: Oh man Halo at 60fps. Yes. Yes. I can get behind that. YES. I will four shot BR you from across the map. BELIEVE THAT. EVEN MORE SMOOTHLY THAN BEFORE.

3.56: We have prices! We have release date! NOW TO SPECULATE ON THE AUSSIE PRICE! HOW MUCH WILL WE GET RORTED?

3.59: And there’s Titanfall, it actually looks like it has a fair amount of interesting, original ideas. I’m interested. Genuinely.

4.02: Love, love, love the way he manoeuvres. This game looks like it feels fun to play. Feels fun to fire weapons. They’ve gotten a lot of things right here I think/hope.

4.05: See this looks great. Maybe I don’t dislike shooters. Just the same old thing in shooters. Great ideas. Super innovative.

4.08: Alright that’s it for now! We’ll be liveblogging the rest of the conferences so stay tuned, or go to sleep like a normal human being — your call! See you tomorrow/today!


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