Here's How JRPGs Are Like Cheese

Stilton Armor... The flying city of Grana Padano... These are just a few of the ideas for an RPG being posted on Japan's major internet billboard, 2ch.

The title of the thread started out as little more than a musing, "Don't you think a lot of names of cheeses sound like they'd show up in an RPG?" (チーズの名前ってRPGでありそうなのが多くね?). The original poster started the random brainstorming session with the idea for the "Evil Lord Gorgonzola" and the other commenters just took it from there.

From items and cities like the Magic City of Camembert, the Legendary Sword Roquefort, or the Sunken City of Danablue, to individual characters such as the Pirate Captain Monterey Jack, or the travelling Performer Pecorino, things got pretty creative.

The Spirit Spear Parmesan, the Rod of Mimolette, Cantal the Moving Fortress, the spunky villager Ricotta, are just some of the more interesting ideas that were brought up.

If you think about it, a lot of cheeses DO have names that sound like they could show up in a fantasy RPG... Orda, Esrom, Brunost... You can almost see a game where the hero travels the Oscypek road from the ruins of L'ami du Chambertin to seek the aid of Provolone, the Mermaid of the West Sea in a quest to defeat Edam, the All-Creator... Somebody needs to make this game.

But would it age as well as some good cheeses?

チーズの名前ってRPGでありそうなのが多くね? [2ch]


    Have fun.

    I... I would be willing to make this into a game... I don't think it would be a very serious game. Probably breaking the 4th wall and parodying other games.

      I would want a game that goes the other way. Totally grimdark and serious, exploring the darker sides of humanity, but with Cheesanoids like in the article picture. The juxtaposition would be brilliantly confounding.

        Those are the kind of games that I'll be making most of the time... I jsut don't think I could take this one seriously.

    I was hoping for an article that likened various JRPG titles to cheeses but this is just as amusing. If you can have a dating sim with pigeons, you can have an RPG with cheeses I guess.

      But seriously, Hatoful Boyfriend was amazing, and a serious cheese-people RPG would likely be the turning point for RPGs as a whole.

    Jrpgs are nothing like cheese. They don't give me nightmares if consumed before going to sleep.

    How about wines? We could visit the land of Malbec in search of the sword of Tempus Two, which once defeated the great lord Gamay. Save the peoples of Sangiovese from the cunning Count Merlot and his minions of evil Zinfandel. All while dealing with atrocious voice acting and a nonsensical, overwrought plot.

      Your sidekicks will include Syrah (who you will first meet under the pseudonym Shiraz...when she's trying to assassinate the Duke of Muscat, who she thinks is responsible for her brother's death) - the token mysterious nomad/tribal/Amazonian female warrior.

      There's Chardonnay, the cat-ear wearing cute teenage girl, with the boundless optimism, borderline ADHD, and the ability to defeat enemies by blowing kisses at them (look, it's a JRPG, don't ask how it works, just go with it.)

      The engineer of your airship (how you travel around the map) and quartermaster is Tarrango, the laconic Aussie stereotype.

      You also have to opportunity (if you make the right choices...) of picking the dark and powerful mage Pinot Noir...and he mightn't necessarily be as evil as you think.

      And, of course, you're all working to oust the pretender Zinfandel and return the Queen, Champagne, to her rightful place on the throne.

      Dammit, jth, let's do this!

        haha. Yes! And we can have an amnesiac hero who doesn't remember his name or who he is. You know, because he's always bloody drunk. ON WINE! Quick, someone contact SquareEnix.

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