Minecraft Is Now 'Mine-Crack', Says Local News Everywhere

Remember when the local news discovered that girls play video games? Now intrepid reporters everywhere have discovered Mine-Crack, the dangerous drug that could be affecting our youth in all sorts of disturbing ways. Video editor Chris Person put together this super-cut. Enjoy.


    I'd like to believe all these newspeople are German.

    "Mein crack"

      Hitler's lesser known sequel to Mein Kampf.

        You wouldn't it but you beat me to it, I was going to write that, right down to the exact phrase "lesser known sequel". I'm not joking, when I read that it blew my mind. Great minds...

      I like to believe shes german and talking about her vajayjay...

        I'd like to believe no adult anywhere used the term "vajayjay".

          Id like to believe no adult would be stupid enough to call it Minecrack, but here we are with one dumb comment deserving another.

          Last edited 28/07/13 12:19 am

            No adult would, those are just scare-powered media-puppets.

            You hurt my vajayjay

              Indeed! Now I associate their level of intelligence with 'Jersey Shore' and use that word instead of the correct word: Thingymabob.

                I think we all know the proper term is 'bajingo'

                  If we want to be scientifically correct, I believe the term is 'Cooch'. I mean, surely, right?

                  Last edited 28/07/13 11:52 am

                  Tuna Taco?

    American news, doesn't count as real news

    You mean I finally have an alternative to WoW-smack? Woohoo!

    I'm sure when they were kids all the news stations were going on about "Legopium"

    Last edited 27/07/13 9:45 pm


    Also, There is sand in mine crack...

    It is a drug though. Why am I building a giant castle in the server I'm on? God only knows... It is a lot of fun though :D

      Worse. When you're building a giant castle... on no server at all. No-one will ever see it, except for the ultra-zombies that keep spilling out from that portal you accidentally opened into the nether-realm.

    "Apparently Minecraft is a videogame... they keep coming up with new ones all the time"

    Another generation out of touch with the terrible afflictions that prey on our youth!!
    personally, I choose to smoke my crack pipe while i play mine craft with my kids, although after we killed the enderdragon together, we are looking for a new high...
    They keep making new ones apparently?

    "My Crack"
    "My Crack"
    "Some are referring to it as my crack"

    Internet remix machine, get on this now!

    I'm a parent and my kids absolutely adore Minecraft and I'm friends with many parents in the same boat. On top of that I read video game news every day and listen to podcasts. Yet strangely this is the first I've ever heard the term Mine Crack. I know a gamer didn't come up with that because gamers would never make up something that shitty. Or perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps American news presenters are WAY further ahead of me in the video games news loop.

      Pretty sure gamers came up with the nickname for EverQuest, EverCrack (Correct me if I'm wrong, wasn't into MMO's wayback when)

        Yeah but gamers said it in an affectionate way. We used to sell membership cards for it at games r us, people would come in and we would joke with them they were junkies needing a fix of evercrack. All parties thought it was funny. The news would think that were serious im betting...

    I feel like a more obvious and perhaps cleverer (there's a lot of ways to go up from rock bottom) would be calling it "Mind Crack" because, it affects the poor children's minds. Won't someone please think of the children?

    This shows, once again, that all news stations get the same news stories and read them word for word. Theres no real reporters and journalists any more.

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