Imagine If Star Wars Episode II Was Actually Really Good…

24 responses to “Imagine If Star Wars Episode II Was Actually Really Good…”

1. 

   mcgarnical

   August 14, 2013 at 3:39 pm

   Absolutely genuinely brilliant. Nice one!

   Reply
2. 

   gr33nm4n

   August 14, 2013 at 4:05 pm

   Didn’t watch either video, sorry but guy was irritating and don’t care (not nerdy) enough to put up with it

   My question to the writer is the comment that Episode II is ‘arguably’ the worst of the three prequels. Could you please argue this to validate your reasoning for saying Episode II is worse than I? Just saying Episode I is better because it is salvageable doesn’t work for me. Clone Wars was IMO a decent film, when compared to Phantom Menace it is a brilliant film.

   Just a little confused here, never seen anyone who thought Episode II was worse than Episode I

   Reply
   1. 

      mcgarnical

      August 14, 2013 at 4:34 pm

      thought you said you didn’t care

      Reply
   2. 

      mawt

      August 14, 2013 at 5:33 pm

      The video does a very good job of explaining it. You should watch it.

      Episode 2 focuses on the wrong relationship and splits up the two people that we actually need to be following and we’re expected to fill in the gaps based on the last 20-30 minutes. Essentially, George tried to mirror Luke/Han splitting up and following their own objectives with Obi-wan/Anakin splitting up after mirroring A New Hope in Phantom Menace (young boy from the desert planet wants to see what’s out there, gets caught up in saving the princess, is pretty good at piloting – oh and btw he can use the force – and uses these skills to blow up the enemy’s capital ship).

      The entire crux of the film is to introduce the Clone Wars and it devotes far to much time explaining what soldiers are rather than to explore the way characters develop against the backdrop of looming war and how that motivates them. The characters that are important to the prequel story don’t actually get to contribute anything, with new characters are introduced in their stead only to disappear some time over the next film and a half.

      Episode 1 puts all the players on the board, so we know where and how everyone starts. It’s equally terrible at developing characters and motivations but at least it achieves what it sets out to do.

      So I guess it’s a case of Episode 1 actually contributes more to Star Wars than Episode 2 does.

      Also, opinions are subjective which sucks.

      For what it’s worth, I’m big on defending the Prequel Trilogy and I think Episode 2 is by far the weakest of the three.

      Reply
      1. 

         shadow

         August 14, 2013 at 6:29 pm

         I think Episode 1 contributes far less. If I was making the prequels, episode one would only exist as a few lines of exposition. Seriously, all that happens in that movie is Anakin meets Obi Wan and Palpatine gets some power. That doesn’t require a whole movie. Everything else in that movie is superfluous. My trilogy starts with Episode 2 and the beginning of the Clone Wars.

         And don’t get me started on the mystery of the Clones. You bring up a really good point about that. SO much time is dedicated to the conspiracy surrounding the clones and not only is it convoluted and a waste of screen time, it’s never resolved. Who was Siphodias? Who ordered the Clones? Why have a mystery take up half the film and never resolve it? It’s like Lucas didn’t even get it and he just said ‘fuck it, the conspiracy doesn’t matter at this point, action scene’. And worst of all, there’s this mystery about the clones and their origin, but then Yoda just says ‘let’s use this mysterious army we have no idea about and take them to war’ to which I’m sure Mace Windu said ‘Yoda, remember we’re keepers of peace, we can’t fight a war, remember?’ to which Yoda no doubt replied ‘no, the Jedi can fight a war and we can even have generals, I want you on the front line right now”.

         Actually, now that you made me think of it, all of this, combined with the ‘romance’ of Padme and little Annie, Ep 2 might just be the weakest of the PT.

         Reply
   3. 

      shadow

      August 14, 2013 at 5:43 pm

      Episode 1 was GARBAGE. Sure, Episode 2 is also garbage, if you try really hard, you can actually enjoy it. You need alcohol, lowered standards, fast forward the romance scenes, and some friends to help you through it. But at least the action at the end is somewhat enjoyable, the clone battles, Yoda fighting, it’s among the more watchable stuff in the prequels.

      Episode 1 though. The worst child actor, the horror of seeing amazing actors, Ewan McGreggor and Liam Neeson, struggle through the gag-inducing lines. Anakin says YIPEEEE unironically. Anakin is referred to as ‘little Annie’, that’s right, as in little Annie grab your gun. Anakin tries spinning, that’s a good trick. Anakin accidentally blows up the droid command centre. Anakin is a virgin birth and that’s never brought up or explained again, ever. Seriously, you could write a book on how fucking bad every aspect of Anakin is. Midichlorians. Midi-fucking-chlorians. Ep1 is an embarrassment in every way.

      But I suppose arguing over which prequel is worse is like arguing the difference between poop and vomit.

      Reply
      1. 

         travisnew87

         August 14, 2013 at 6:09 pm

         That sounds like the most elitist nerd/geek crap answer. I enjoyed all 3 movies. Each have their highs and each have their lows which no movie is free from. Arguably one of the best movies last year is The Dark Knight Rises; The stock exchange scene where it is morning and then suddenly after 20-30min MAX of hacking they run away and the chase begins and suddenly it is 10PM(DARK) at night. Also they explained those questions you asked you just didn’t like the answer. Their canon, their story.

         Reply
         1. 

            shadow

            August 14, 2013 at 6:19 pm

            Don’t get me wrong, I can like some really flawed movies. But the prequels don’t just have flaws and low points, they’re critically flawed, they’re bad. The acting alone is horrendous. But we all have our opinions. If you really enjoyed the prequels, I’m honestly jealous of you.

            Reply
   4. 

      Login

      August 14, 2013 at 8:32 pm

      I really haven’t either. I honestly find the first one unbearable to sit through but… I can watch episode 2, basically all the way.

      Most of the way at least. I mean doesn’t not having Jake Lloyd count for much? It should count for a lot.

      Reply
      1. 

         ashuramgs2sub

         August 16, 2013 at 2:36 am

         Not when he’s been replaced with Hayden Christensen. I’ve seen the man act, but not in any Star Wars film, that’s for sure.

         Reply
3. 

   mypetmonkey

   August 14, 2013 at 4:32 pm

   Sayingalotofstuffreallyfastcangetreallyannoyingandisoverlyusedbyvideocommentatorssothatevenallthegoodideasslowlydisappearinawashofwordsresultinginagrosslackofemphasisontheimportantpoints.

   EDIT:Holyshititisreallyhardnottousethespacebar.

   Reply
   1. 

      fenixius

      August 14, 2013 at 5:02 pm

      I actually find myself being bored of people speaking at a normal pace when what most people say is very simple. It’s why I loathe ‘video news’ (of any kind!), and opt for the written articles.

      Reply
   2. 

      fenixius

      August 14, 2013 at 5:05 pm

      This isn’t even that fast, upon consideration. Go see vsauce or especially the idea channel for someone who speaks seriously fast!

      Reply
      1. 

         kbabz

         August 15, 2013 at 3:58 pm

         Zero Punctuation is a good example of quick speaking.

         Reply
4. 

   catto

   August 14, 2013 at 4:38 pm

   I managed to follow everything he said. And I agree with all of it. Especially about Alderaan and Obi-Wan and Anakin’s friendship.

   Episode II was horrible. It really was.
   Episode I was better (mostly because of Liam Neeson, but anyways).

   I’m not just saying that because I am an Original Trilogy fanboy (which, I am), however, I just believe that George had the expenses, and the imagination to do something really amazing and interesting, but….. It was just a huge failure, in my opinion.

   Oh well.

   Reply
5. 

   siborg71

   August 14, 2013 at 4:45 pm

   I actually liked the end scene – the whole clone war bit. Yoda coming in on a dropship, commanding the troops. That was pretty cool. Made up for the rest of the movie.

   Reply
6. 

   mrtaco

   August 14, 2013 at 5:22 pm

   Holy… wow.

   Someone get this man a time machine.

   Reply
   1. 

      mawt

      August 14, 2013 at 5:37 pm

      I know right?

      I think what really sells it for me is that neither of his videos have been what I have thought up as my replacements, but I actually find myself in agreement with him. I like Episode 3 the best of the prequels, and I was fairly happy with how it ended, so I look forward to how he would change that.

      Reply
      1. 

         shadow

         August 14, 2013 at 6:02 pm

         I would change plenty. It’s crap. I would shorten the gluttonous and at times hilarious Obi v Ani light saver duel. I wouldn’t have Anakin be a child murderer. Especially because the OT makes Vader someone you feel for, someone who had made mistakes and been seduced. You can never have any sympathy or empathy for a character that murders children, ever. I would probably also change the fact that Anakin is determined to stop people he loves from dying and then in order to get the power to stop the people he loves from dying, he goes on a killing spree of people he loves. Seriously, he becomes a sith to stop Padme from dying and then he chokes her. Nothing makes any sense in that movie. Sure, you could say Anakin wasn’t himself and the Dark Side made him do things. In that case he wasn’t really seduced was he? He was just mind controlled.

         I would take out Vader’s NOOOOOO. The laughs in the cinema were audible when that happened. I would explain why Yoda, in possession of holographic footage of Palpatine admitting to being a sith and killing the Jedi, decides that instead of broadcasting it to the entire planet, the best way of stopping Palpatine is to fight him. After all, a wise Jedi once said ‘wars not make one great’.

         The biggest mistakes in Ep 3 are just stuff not making sense, things not lining up. The acting isn’t as bad as Ep1 and 2 but it’s still really wooden and forced and unconvincing. People speak without passion and urgency and drama. At the end when Obi Wan yells at Anakin who screams back I HATE YOU, I found myself wondering how this one moment of the film had so much emotion and power yet the rest was a dead fish. It was like a tease.

         I could go on and on but Ep 3 stinks really badly.

         Reply
   2. 

      guest1

      August 15, 2013 at 10:33 am

      hes writing his own starwars fanfiction nothing more

      Reply
7. 

   Jones

   August 14, 2013 at 6:09 pm

   My kids grew up with Episodes 1-3 , I grew up with 4-6 They loved them, they don’t see the shit stir all these grown up jaded Star Wars fans seem to think we all want to hear about. They watched an entertaining film each time and just like me as a kid wanted all the toys to re-enact their vision of the movies, that includes Jar Jar.

   Reply
8. 

   zarosio

   August 14, 2013 at 7:22 pm

   The videos were great and if the movie had been like he described I think they could have been very good. This is not the first time I have seen someone try to fix star wars another idea that I have seen that was good and doesn’t actually change any of the movie content is to watch them in a different order.
   It is to watch episode 4 and 5 first that way you get the omg reveal of darth vader is you father as watching in chronological order ruins this reveal. Then you go back and watch episode 2 and 3 and view them as a kind of flashback revealing the past of anakin skywalker and helps draw the parallel between anakin and luke. Episode 1 is missed out as most of the story wasn’t all that important anyway and you can understand it fine without it also it remove ja ja binks as he only appears for 5 seconds in the other movies and avoids the weird age gap between anakin and padme. Then you watch episode 6 allowing you to catch up to the present and 6 was always meant as an ending and seeing as you have watched the prequels you now know more about the character and adds a whole new layer to yoda and the event of his passing. You can then watch episode 1 if you want at a different time as just extra universe and story even if it does ruin a few things.

   Reply
9. 

   cufcfan616

   August 14, 2013 at 7:41 pm

   Imo, people look back at the OT with rose tinted glasses. Yes the story is fantastic, the effects and whole concept of film was revolutionary at the time, but the acting was below average, editing wasn’t great and the three films featured some glaring plotholes themselves; ‘only stormtroopers are this precise’, Luke ‘finishing’ Jedi training in a matter of days, if that, escape pod not being shot down because there were no lifesigns etc… Of course, those films are good fun and shouldn’t be taken as seriously as some people do.

   The PT though, yeah you can see what Lucas was trying to do and answer as many fans questions as possible, unfortunately he didn’t really get anyone to proofread any of it to look out for plot inconsistencies and targeted the children of the original fans of Star Wars instead of the original fans of Star Wars, hence an annoying as fudge kid actor in Ep 1 (and writers who have no idea how kids actually behave in real life, @shadow has pretty much explained how I feel about Anakin in Ep 1) and a wooden love story that gets in the way of anything interesting which was the style of films at the time. They do continue the OT theme though of mediocre acting and terrible editing.

   There’s little in Ep 1 that I actually like other than Darth Maul. In Ep 2 the things hinted at are a lot more interesting than what’s going on. Count Dooku mentioning that Qui-Gon saw where he was coming from, why not explore that and expand on Dark Jedis a bit. The guys who designed the Death Star, you never see or hear from again. Did they vanish and never build anything else? As people have mentioned above who was Sifo-Dyas and why did he construct a clone army? Was he a Dark Jedi as well or did Palpy try and lure him to the dark side as a fully blown Sith? However, those saying that Jedis shouldn’t’ve gone to war because that’s not in their nature, I think that was showing the desperation of the times and how they had no other choice than to use the clone army to defeat the separatists and draw the Sith out. Unfortunately for us it wasn’t put on the screen as clearly as it could’ve been.

   Ep 3, although it’s the best of the PT in my eyes, also has some of the most annoying things. Anakin seemingly turning to the dark side on a whim because of a dream and feeling no remorse for it as soon as he does so. ‘Ok, I just helped kill Master Windu and actually showed some remorse, now I’m going to take this battalion of troopers and kill anyone inside the Jedi Temple including children and I’ll do it without a hint of regret or emotion’. That writing was more wooden than whatshisfacewhoplaysAnakin’s acting. Yoda can’t sense the biggest plot in the history of Sith vs Jedi because the Dark Side clouds things too much. Ok, one of the most, if not the most force sensitive Jedi ever cannot sense a Sith in the same room as him. Good one Yoda and thanks Lucas for making Yoda into a complete incompetent (something that only continues throughout the rest of the film). Also, why does Yoda just immediately give up because he lost one scrap with Palpy and go into excile? Way to give up on everything and commit the galaxy to the Dark Side for however long.

   The main problem though with writing the middle of a story first and then going back years later to write the beginning is that you’re going to mess things up. By how much depends on how talented a writer you are and I’m afraid George, you just ain’t that good. Going straight from the PT to the OT, first off Obi Wan isn’t doing a great job of watching over Luke as he’s seemingly destined to join the Imperial Academy to be a pilot, Obi-Wan has no idea who the robots are, Yoda now seems like a fraud and says he was a great Jedi, but all we’ve seen of him is failure, Stormtroopers seem to now be different heights for clones, technology taken a step backwards, how does Luke recognise Anakin as his ghost dad? He’d’ve had as much chance of recognising Bill Cosby as Ghost Dad. Leia would’ve seen her mum for all of two seconds as a newborn. Just stuff that everyone thinks out loud and would’ve easily have been rectified if George had’ve watched the OT first before writing the PT and maybe have paid attention to pre-screening feedback (if there was any).

   Chance to ramble about Star Wars taken. Ep 2 isn’t the worst of the PT I think, and looking objectively at them, all 6 films have some pretty dodgy moments at the least. Just watch the PT for what they are, eye candy for the ADD generation and don’t pay too much attention to what’s coming out of anyone’s mouth and then go and read the books about the Old Republic because they actually have well thought out stories. In the meantime, sit and wonder how Ep 7 will turn out

   Reply
   1. 

      shadow

      August 14, 2013 at 8:38 pm

      Wow, nicely written. You nailed the original trilogy, the dodgy editing frustrates me. The acting I would say isn’t bad, it ranges from cheesy to passable with a few nice crescendos. Cheesy as in sitcom acting, not bad, just cheesy, like passionate amateur theatre, they often act like they’re on a stage (a perfect example is in EP 6 where Luke strikes down Vader then looks at his robotic hand and slowly curls it into a fist). But it kinda matches the lighthearted story. I think the OT was really successful because it was at the right place at the right time in terms of culture and special effects. I think their success is a bit of a fluke, a happy fluke. They’re not amazing films by any means (perhaps special effects wise they were), they aren’t even close to being masterpieces. And they hardly contain an original thought from smugglers, swashbucklers, princesses, the nazis, the black knight etc They’re basically a compilation of popular fictional characters and devices. I think their huge appeal is that they’re just plain fun.

      They’re low commitment watching, simple fun. There’s simple themes, oppression, love, good, evil, temptation, anger. It’s kinda like the Avengers or Indiana Jones. Nice and simple, all the cards are on the table. They’re like a ride on a theme park. Sometimes you want meaty drama, sometimes you want fluff. The OT is fluff.

      And in regards to the PT being eye candy, that was their appeal to me at first, their one redeeming quality. But boy those SFX aren’t aging well. You look at the OT and the effects are hilarious, the puppets are hilarious. But at least there’s a fun, hammy adventure story underneath it all. But as the SFX in the PT age, their list of redeeming qualities dwindles significantly.

      Reply
10. 

    arkayn

    August 14, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    Thanks for sharing this Mark Serrels.
    Was really good to the point I wish the prequels were done like this. Am sharing with other friends with shattered childhoods too lol.

    Reply
11. 

    ss

    August 19, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    Don’t worry… Disney will remake (or re-edit) all three prequels.

    Reply