News Network Discovers You Can Run Over People In GTA, Is Horrified


Look — we all know that the best experiments are conducted on daytime television by people without medical degrees. That’s why this TV segment is so special.

In response to the horrifically tragic shooting that occurred last week, the scientists over at HLN (the channel for people who think CNN is just too heady) have conducted their own totally unbiased experiment on the 2008 game Grand Theft Auto IV. Like all great experiments throughout history, it was set to what appears to be the soundtrack from the Keanu Reeves movie Speed.

Their conclusions?

• Video games sure are different from movies.

• It’s just… just kinda fun to engage in mayhem, I don’t know — WHOA who is that guy, how’d he get there?

• If you run over a person at high speed, blood may get on the front bumper of your car.

• Children should probably not play Grand Theft Auto, a game that “has you run over kids”.

We must inform the Nobel Committee this instant.

[Clip via Raising America]


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