The Internet Reacts To Valve’s Steam Controller

Valve is not the type of company to go unnoticed — it shouldn’t be surprising, then, that online gaming communities everywhere are buzzing about the newly announced Steam Controller.

And with good reason too: not only is having Steam optimised for the living room experience potentially game-changing, the controller itself is… well, it’s kinda funny lookin’. Which is why some of the immediate reactions involved Photoshops of the controller — the one above with Gabe Newell’s eyes is by our very own commenter, Pixel. It’s a response to Chris’ photoshop of the controller, which is also excellent:

Also by Chris: an interpretation of the controller as a crotch:

And yes, of course, the controller as a part of a Half-Life 3 conspiracy:

The controller as Wall-E, by Greg-The-Mad:

Many feel that the controller looks like a boom box of sorts, hence shops like this one by Slappers Only on neoGAF:

Others, instead, saw something like an owl:

Couldn’t resist – sorry Valve pic.twitter.com/g560f88119
— Mark Richard Davies (@Ninjafr4me) September 27, 2013

Hence, I imagine, this comparison by Corronchilejano on neoGAF:

Or this GIF by Impossiburu

Then there are sillier interpretations of the controller, like this cutesy…thing by Tumo:

And some, like Farrow, seem sceptical of how this thing will work in your hands:

Some seemed rather disappointed this announcement isn’t Half-Life 3 — and can you blame them? This is the THIRD ANNOUNCEMENT, you guys! It practically begs for the joke…

There’s even this song floating around from last year, where a super fan writes to Gabe about Half-Life 3 in the style of ‘Stan,’ the song by Eminem…it’s kind of hilarious:

Twitter, naturally, had its own slew of reactions — jokes and serious alike. Have a look:

You see a #Steam controller. I see a surprised Darth Vader. #Valve pic.twitter.com/uF5mzGr4lZ
— Niero Gonzalez (@dtoidniero) September 27, 2013

Remember when Valve made games and not platforms?
— Cliff Bleszinski (@therealcliffyb) September 27, 2013

I am honestly excited about Valve’s disruptive nature and recent moves. However… I just want Half Life 3 fuck me right?!
— Cliff Bleszinski (@therealcliffyb) September 27, 2013

The gut reaction is that the Steam controller will be awful and won’t work. But I’m sure it does and will surprise us. Valve aren’t dumb.
— Garry Newman (@garrynewman) September 27, 2013

Maybe the Steam controller will good, maybe it will be bad, who knows? Will it be better than the Gamecube controller? Never.
— ɦəʞιɯ (@mikeyturvey) September 27, 2013

Well the Steam Controller looks pretty horrible for any game that uses a dpad.
— Hayden Scott-Baron (@docky) September 27, 2013

Steam controller looks… uh. I’m not even sure. I don’t know how the buttons would work. But hey, I can’t wait to try it.
— Rami Ismail (@tha_rami) September 27, 2013

The Steam controller reminds me of a Hoothoot.
— Nick (@15thCrystal) September 27, 2013

Just woke up… that steam controller looks like a controller from the future. I love the future!
— famousmortimer (@atPeteDodd) September 27, 2013

That Steam controller looks cool. Button placement seems wildly impractical though.
— Will Krummel (@krummey) September 27, 2013

Despite its name, the Steam Controller has no steam and will not explode under the pressure and kill you by boiling flesh from your bones.
— Custard Smingleigh (@Smingleigh) September 27, 2013

The new Steam Controller can navigate in pitch darkness because it senses obstacles with a form of sonar, just like a dolphin or bat does.
— Custard Smingleigh (@Smingleigh) September 27, 2013

Steam Controller? GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME NOW.
— Beta_Whiskey (@BetaWhiskey) September 27, 2013

I used a Steam Controller a few months ago; the button configuration was different at the time, but the cursor pads worked amazingly well.
— Lord Chris Remo (@chrisremo) September 27, 2013

.@firehair12000 Yes, it makes it feel like you’re actually operating a real physically mechanical device, not just a touchscreen.
— Lord Chris Remo (@chrisremo) September 27, 2013

I got to play with the new Steam controller earlier this week. I think people will like it. They’ve done some clever things with it.
— Brock Jones (@BrockDiesel) September 27, 2013

If Valve doesn’t call it’s controller The Hot Steamer… well, they probably made the right call.
— Dan Stapleton (@DanStapleton) September 27, 2013

“The joystick is phallic and represents male aggression,” representatives of Valve said. “Our controller is yonic, sensual, open. Kill all m
— naxuu (@naxuu) September 27, 2013

Very excited about valve’s controller, but wondering about the texture of the trackpads and how sweat-tolerant they’ll be
— Henk Boom (@henkboom) September 27, 2013

if you turn the Steam controller upside down, you’ll have Nite Owl’s current mask pic.twitter.com/fXX1FTYr2G
— Rich Lowtax Kyanka (@lowtax) September 27, 2013

Steam’s latest announcements should be called “Look at this new idea and forget about HL3”
— Alex McCauley (@BlufootGamer) September 27, 2013

Very very excited for the steam box release. Definitely would like to try the new controller out as well.
— TheKelby (@TheKelby) September 27, 2013

Did Valve already kill the Steam Box console? That controller looks 100% useless – what were they thinking?
— Jimmy Marcus Larsen (@ChronoDK) September 27, 2013

One Tweeter even sees the, uh, erotic? possibilities with the new controller.

And one YouTuber is ready to throw money at this all, but nothing is happening!

Ah, internet.