New PC Game's Joke Achievements Are Also The Best Achievements

New PC Game's Joke Achievements Are Also The Best Achievements

Video-game achievements are funny things. We want to unlock them, and we're willing to shoot the 1000 zombies or speed-run the 10 levels to do so. But... they're kind of silly, ya know? It'd be nice if more games took their achievements a little less seriously.

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Recently, Tom Francis' excellent stealth game Gunpoint experimented with half-serious achievements, with some hilarious results. And, of course, if another new game were going to screw with the idea of game achievements, it'd be The Stanley Parable, which just came out this week on Steam. After all, Davey Wreden's exercise in twisting story subversion has screwed with everything else, from demos to trailers to video-game storytelling itself.

Here are The Stanley Parable's Steam achievements, which range from "Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday" to "Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years."

New PC Game's Joke Achievements Are Also The Best Achievements

Ha. Well played, Mr Wreden.


    If Unachievable is actually unachievable, some nerds gonna get mad at no 100% completion.
    I know it would get under my skin.

      Actually.... I got that Achievement today.

    Unacheivable has been acheived by 0.01% of players. So I guess it's achievable somehow.

      Those stats are attributable to the makers of the game. Every game with achievements starts with those numbers, even prior to the games release.

        That doesn't explain the 4.9% of players who have unlocked the achievement for not playing the game for 5 years:

          Depends if you can trigger it by messing with your pc time and date settings I suppose

      It's intended to be hacked in order to get the achievement. Pretty crafty.

    Maybe if you uninstall the game or something? Or maybe just hax? >_>

    You can probably get the Unachievable achievement using SAM (Steam Achievement Manager)

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