Talk Amongst Yourselves

This is where Kotaku readers go to talk about the stuff we're not already posting about. Think of it as the official unofficial Kotaku community forum.


    Played my first game of Dark Heresy last night.
    SO. MUCH. FUN!

    I am an Arbite by the name of Lucius Kreig.
    And i am COMPLETELY and UTTERLY useless despite some good stats.
    I missed just about EVERYTHING! Even with GRENADES!

    Highlight was when i tried to do a running leap into cover while hurling a grenade, but failed my agility test MISERABLY, causing me to trip, smash my face into a pew before stumbling back and getting tangled in the pew behind me.

    Second highlight was shooting one of 12 psychic thralls with explosive collars, causing him to explode, which then caused a chain reaction of exploding psykers which THEN summoned a lesser Daemon made of blood.

    BUT I managed to survive (with one wound left!) and got a master crafted revolver for my efforts!



      Can't tell of this is board game mumbo jumbo or an actual game game

        ^ what he said.
        It's pretty much 40k DnD.
        And it's SO MUCH FUN!
        Played online via skype and roll20, though :)

          skype? Roll20's inbuilt voice/video chat is a actually pretty good

            don't ask me - it was their suggestion haha.
            It's also what TB and the gang were doing on their youtube playthrough.

            I htink it's because roll20 glitches now and then and you have to reload the screen - so having skype on means no down time in conversation and no one is inconvenienced if one person is glitching. Eg - i was ruling in KM's at one point rather than M's

      Hah that sounds awesome. At least your GM was being generous and didn't make it that you pulled the pin while you tripped because that could have ended so badly.

      Also trust you to summon a lesser Daemon in your first session. :P

      Looking forward to hearing about more shenanigans in the future. :D

      Btw, how are you finding the system to play in? I've had a few people try it and some of them can't wrap their heads around the sheer number of possibilities that they can do.

      Last edited 12/11/13 2:30 pm

        Well I've read most of the rule book - so it's pretty easy for me to understand it now. I can see why it would be confronting though. There really is A LOT to it.

        Also, speaking grenades - i got INSANELY lucky at one point - i rolled a jam on a grenade, but when i rolled on the mishap table it was a dud. i was THAT close to blowing myself up.

        I'll keep you posted on everything that happens in the next episode.

        Maybe we should start a taybie session next year or something?

          Oh wow. That was incredibly lucky to not accidentally kill yourself. Stuff like that is why I like Dark Heresy and the other Warhammer roleplaying stuff: things can go awesomely well but you are only this far away from dying at any time. I mean, heck in the Only War game our scout was patrolling in her Sentinel and got critically hit by a krak rocket that stunned her for an entire round. It's a good thing the enemy didn't have more rockets otherwise she was toast.

          I'll still post up my stuff as well although it sounds like we're going to take a break from Only War as my friends want to run a Deathwatch game *grumble grumle*.

          If things pan out and we get enough interest, I'd be hella keen on a taybie session of Dark Heresy. @redartifice can confirm that doing Numenera has been pretty successful so any other rpg stuff should work well. Plus I like anything 40K so I'm in for sure \o/

            I'd love to play in a campaign in addition to DMing. I know @mawt tried to get a D&D one up a while back, and @ynefel has Shadowrun books but wasn't keen on running.

            Point is, super keen.

              I shoul probably think about doing something with that Friday Fan-tay-sia thing I did a while back. It was good fun but doing that during work hours and on tay itself was probably not the best.

    just out of curiosity, is there something about this that is inherently downvote-worthy?

    honestly, people are confusing sometimes.

      You want to be happy on Christmas.

      That pains us deep inside.

      You must understand the anguish we feel.

      Burn in downvote hell. Face the downvote oblivion.

        I'll feign happiness & drown in a sea of commercial consumerism like the capitalist cretin you all seemingly want me to be.

        *buys all the xmas junk*

      Someone downvoted me for saying Red Dead Redemption's name didn't make a whole lot of sense the other day. I wasn't saying I hated the game or any thing. D:

      People are weird! Nothing downvote worthy about that post. My family doesn't really do the gift thing either. We usually don't even see each other on Christmas Day. XD

      Last edited 12/11/13 2:22 pm

        the 'Red Dead' part sure. in the context of the game makes no sense (other than to point out that its a spiritual successor to Red Dead Revolver)

        but the 'Redemption' part does. its one of the major themes of the game.

        but yeah. some people are weird.

          Oh yeah, I get the Redemption part. Just all of it together. XD

      I agree.

      I do really really love all the tradition and ritual that comes with christmas - decorations, carols, an excuse to watch Miracle on 34th Street on endless loop, that sort of thing - but if that's not how you do it, that's fine. I always think that Christmas is about the "gifts" that you have all year round - friend, family, and/or pets!

      Anyway, that's enough feel-good out of me for a while, can't use it all up now! I'll think about video games, I'm sure there's something to be mad about.

      Well on the fact that they upvoted the post of Gemini being upset about missing out on a 3ds I think they just want everybody to be miserable

    Hey Red, sorry for the delay with the Duel Shock. What exactly does 'as a commentary' mean?


    Last edited 12/11/13 2:08 pm

      As a commentary on social issues/themes- do you think it effectively conveys its message and is worthy of examining from that perspective, or is it pretentious twaddle that Kojima is shoving down our throats?

        You forgot option C: Kojima is a raving lunatic with just the right amount of entertainer thrown in.

          Eh, that probably fits under pretentious twaddle.

          Kojima is a genius. Whether he's a sane genius is the question.

    The thing on the other page about doing your own thing even when you're married, hope no one took it as a criticism or any thing. This is just an outsiders perspective and you guys clearly know what being married is like more than me. So no offence intended in the slightest!


      You've planted the seed of doubt in my mind and now I can't ever see my wife the same way again. YOU'VE RUINED MY MARRIAGE YOU MONSTER!

        Don't you already do your own thing from time-to-time, though. Like when you went to Canberra? Or New Years camping trip?

        Last edited 12/11/13 2:30 pm

      Gawrsh, will someone marry this guy already?

      @mrtaco you know anyone for him?

        To tell you the truth and this will come as no surprise, I'm not the biggest fan of marriage.

        If people wanna be together, they'll be together. *decisive nod*

        *flees before the angry town folks with pitch forks and torches arrive*

          Sure, but the legal stuff that a marriage/civil union brings with it is a way of formalising that.

            Speaking only for myself, screw that! :P

              Obvious case is things like power of attorney or allowing medical decisions- it's one of the reasons that the gay marriage stuff is so heartbreaking

                Weird you can't delegate someone to do that without marriage, though. I feel like I've opened a can of worms. Haha!

                Last edited 12/11/13 2:42 pm

                  You can, but without the rights that marriage grants it doesn't carry the same weight- for example, a parent/sibling can overrule a gay partner.

                  Red's example above is the most important thing about why not having it be legal is bullshit.

                  Especially since (mostly in the US) when being gay has been a sore point for the traditionally-close-minded, when gay folks have been injured or dying, resentful parents and siblings can - and have - excluded the partner from their bedside.

                  I'm not sure, it's been a while since I was clued in on the activism angle (though my brother gets ornery about it every now and then, so I get to hear stuff then), but it's also traditionally meant that wills leaving things to partners have been more successfully contested by family.

                  These are the things you wouldn't think would be happening in 2013, but they do, and it's really unfair that some people don't have legal protection against it.

            If you don't formalize it yourself, the State will do it for you after a while. All the legal crap will be taken for granted, and you'll need to go to the hassle of drawing up an opt-out of your common-law marriage. (I forget how long it takes. I think it was 3yrs but got shortened, out of a desire to screw more people out of half their shit.)

            I'm telling you, guys. Adjacent apartments with sleep-overs.

              My housemates became officially defacto in the eyes of govt because they shared a bank acc- never mind that there were two other names on it (myself and the other housemate)

              That was a shock to their system

          If it was as simple as that there would be no point to the fight for gay marriage.

            The Gay marriage thing astounds me, as I've never been able to get a good answer for why the hell not.

              Hey, I believe that any one who wants to marry damn well should be able to.

              As an individual though, it ain't for me!

              Also, my folks have a terrible, terrible marriage which might have something to do with my feelings about it.

              Last edited 12/11/13 2:44 pm

                Well I'd argue that's a user issue then :P

                  True enough, but I only ever speak for myself. Not saying others shouldn't get married or believe in marriage or pursue it as a life goal. Just don't expect an invite to a D.C. wedding ever. :D

                  Also I feel nothing but happiness about friends getting married, engaged and the like too. This is good news.

                  Last edited 12/11/13 2:48 pm

                  @dc Oh, point taken. I was just pointing out there are reasons to get married other than to say "we're married!"

              The Gaypocalypse as near as I can tell. Rivers of gayness flowing through the streets, destroying everything it touches with only stalwart family man Tony Abbot there to turn the tide.

              I haven't seen any other argument yet really.

                Most fabulous end of the world ever.

                If we're going to go out, we may as well do it in hotpants.

          You really are my clone.

          The one that was left out of the fridge for a little too long but ,man, clone for sure.

            Are you calling me defective?


            Once again, that's fair.

      Before people think I'm a monster, here's some things I believe:
      -- I believe in monogamy.
      -- I believe in love, trust, loyalty, patience and respect.
      -- I believe in having someones back.
      I don't believe in:
      -- Sticking around when the above stuff goes away.
      -- Staying together for the kids.

      Last edited 12/11/13 3:05 pm

        Again, not that simple. In the 8 years or so I've been married we've hit parts where the differences felt irreconcilable and it would be a waste to stay together. It would have been easy to call it quits but we persevered and have always gotten through it.

          Maybe I'm just a little bit emotionally stunted. Haha!

            Or maybe just emotionally inexperienced? Relationship stuff is different depending on the people involved, anyway.

        Your things you believe in are all things that don't just stay the same. It's normal for them to fluctuate over time in a relationship so they're all things that will need to be worked on at some point or another. If you can't be bothered working on them, that's when the lack of them is a problem.
        Sticking around when they go away is a test of a relationship but if you both work hard enough at it then those things can be regained. People often stay "for the kids" which is okay because it gives them a reason to fight. A reason to work hard to make the relationship work.

    So I've done pretty much no work today which has given me time to create new NPCs for my Pathfinder group to fight. So far I've come up with Giganta, Skeletor, and He-Man.

    They are going to hate me so much. :D

      I find the coolest shit during GM prep.

      Finding it really good for the Numenera stuff as it means i get to look at futuristic concept art

    I now own a set of tools. Can I have a Man Card now please?

      It should've been given to you with the tool box. Maybe you were deemed unworthy? D:

        Maybe I needed to get one of those big red rusty steel toolboxes instead of the dinky little plastic-molded box I bought.

      Proper tool sets aren't bought. They're accumulated over the years and have weird tools that you bought for one job and have been sitting in the toolbox the entire time


      Edit: alternate joke:
      no. a real man builds his own tools. what does he build them with? NOTHING BUT HIS FISTS & TEETH. & OCCASIONALLY A ROCK HE RIPS FROM THE COLD, COLD EARTH.

      Last edited 12/11/13 2:47 pm

        I'm going to print that out and stick it on my tool box.

          "print it out"?!?!

          nah man, you need to hunt a bison with a bow made from chair legs & rubber bands, then skin it & tattoo your message onto its leather the traditional way - using a needle & a pigments made from the local flora.

          /Manly Printing

        So you're saying that a real man is a tool?

          That's what my ex said.
          Well... something along those lines.

      I'm so glad that whenever I buy something the single allen key required to build it is already in the box

      What's a man card?

      Oh my god you totally reminded me that Lady Gaga's new album is out today! I completely forgot about that! Thanks so much! :D

        umm... sorry?

          Oooh, I umm, like, Lady Gaga...
          I declare this a judgement free zone!

            fair enough.
            I aint gonna judge you for liking something.

            just couldnt tell if you were being sarcastic ^up there^

              Haha, I was being serious! So that thank you was serious aswell! I knew I was forgetting something about today but couldn't put my finger on it!

                Random Lady GaGa trivia:

                when she was 15, she played a random school kid in an episode of The Sopranos.


      I'm more scared by reading the titles of their articles. It's another freakin' world, man. Completely different from any world I know or understand.

        But somewhere at PopSugar someone is cowering at the Kotaku/Giz headlines.

          "But, but...they are saying that someone's developed Virtual Reality Sex over at Kotaku! I can't link that here at PopSugar. We have STANDARDS!"

    Jesus fucking christ. I need to have some kind of "professional" e-mail address to use for stuff, btu I already have way too many accounts spread across everywhere as it is. So I found a thing about adding an alias to my yahoo one that I check fairly often and that seemed like a good solution.

    Except not. I can't find any way of getting the e-mails for that address to go into their own folder, and now I've found that it seems to have the same name attached as the rest of the address. So I can either appear to people as Mr Taco on the professional one, or have my real name appear on the junk one. Neither of which I want.

    Then I found mention of there being a second option - extra addresses, which is somehow different to an alias. Only, the article I've found on doing that seems to refer to using options that don't actually exist.


      Wow.. this works perfectly with the post i just made.
      Maybe you need a account too?

      I use 4 emails at the moment! 1 for everyday, 1 for work/when I need to sound professional (not often), 1 for throwaway "sign up to our website before seeing any of the content" stuff, and 1 for Kotaku/TAY to keep you all where I can see you.

      Oh and apparently now you need a vaild mobile number to sign up to yahoo?


        Xbox is always trying to get my mobile number too. D:


          God, they're everywhere.

          If I can't hide away from the real world by being on the internet, where else can I turn??

      I have a few. One for my girlfriend pretty much exclusively, plus anyone who knew me from the older, wilder days. Those fire off all kinds of alerts to get my attention ASAP. (We might've only been in a committed relationship the last few years, but she's been my confidant, occasional lover and best friend for damn near fifteen years; she's always had priority, no matter how long either of us fell off the radar.) Not everyone's made it from those days. Sometimes folks need help; they will always know where to turn to, to get it. (Same goes for the mobile number I've had for the last almost twenty years.)

      Then there's the good ol' transientmind one for pretty much anything social and anything else that I actually give a shit about - family and friends, MMO accounts, etc. Y'all know or can guess that one at google's thing.

      Then there's the random alias/spam filter, which is for competition sign-ups, messageboards I don't care about, fakebook and the rest.

      I have a fourth, rarely-used one which is for absolutely professional things only, which is the only one that has any kind of real-name association attached. Godamn if I don't always forget that one's details.

        Yeah, that last bit's the problem I'm having here. If I just create a new account somewhere else, I'll forget about it and never check it. Whereas if I have it linked to one of my other things I do check, it'll be fine.


          There's actually some pretty innovative tools out there which handle forwarding and mess with gmail in some creative ways - you just need to make sure you have somewhere stable and consistent to store all the login data. I'm not in a position to get it from the horse's mouth on using them, but I can do some research later.

            Gmail allows you to forward/link other addresses to it. Then you can reply FROM either of the linked addresses, or Gmail. If Yahoo isn't letting you do it, forward all email to a new Gmail account.

            I have hotmail and yahoo forwarded to my gmail.


            Last edited 12/11/13 4:24 pm

    I feel as though my email account should end with

    It would be far more apt.

    For those wondering, i already thought of hotmale.cum, but that sounds more like gay fetish website - which is only slightly relevant to me

      ...and hotmale doesnt?

        No. It does. But it's the RIGHT amount of pseudo-homo-eroticism. It doesn't overdo it. It's slick. Like my body.

        Do you come here often, sweetheart?


    It's jerks like this that are the reason we cannot have nice things. Who cars if something is 100% canon? I'd prefer to be entertained rather than continuity neckbearded.

      Some people find entertainment in a consistent story.

        Yeah, I believe canon is important to story tellers and so is a sense of cohesion. Just think ultimately a writer should control their own work however they see fit. If they wreck it inadvertently, then damage is done but it's theirs to wreck. XD

        Agreed, it shows me the devs care about the story they're telling within their game. I still feel heartbroken from what Ace Combat did with Assault Horizon :(

          To my mind, Ace Combat lost all the heart it had with Assault Horizon. Didn't feel like a real Ace Combat game to me. I lost interest very early on in the game and still haven't finished it.

            They were screwing with it on Fires of Liberation too (The Xbox 360 one) with the HORRIBLE framerates, felt like I was flying an A10 bomber in an F16... how is that possible!?

            At least they kept with having a fictional world, which I really liked, especially with the stories of the nations of Belka, Ustio, Osea, Yuktobania, Erusia, all of them.

        There's "blatant disregard for" and "overlooking a few details to serve the plot"

        BTW, I think TAY shipping in purple prose needs to be a new page-specific thing :)

      Canon and shippers are two words I dread reading from fandoms of any kind. XD

        I don't even know what either of those two words mean. I like to think it's nicer that way.

        Well, I do know have a Canon printer, but I don't think it's referring to printing!

        Last edited 12/11/13 3:54 pm

          In case you do:

          Canon is whatever is considered official. Like if a game based on an IP is canon then the story repercussions and the like carry through to the greater universe as a whole... otherwise its an off-shoot that's not really considered official. When something isn't canon it means it can stray from the established path too.
          Shippers are the fans who (not always, but often) rabidly hold onto an idea that two characters should be together and tend to go nuts when things don't go this way. There's perfectly reasonable shippers too, just like any thing it's the vocal minority who go nuts!

          Last edited 12/11/13 3:56 pm

        Ugh, this post is completely ruining the established DC canon.

        How am I meant to write my @dc x @shane slash ship fanfiction now?

          @shane came to @dc in the night, shivering with energy and with a look of desire in his eyes

          "Oh DC," said Shane, "I had to come back to tell you one thing. Well, two things"

          Dc looked into his eyes, breathing heavily as he drank in his manly odour

          "DC, I love
          Hungry Jacks. Also, Anyway, bye, back to Canberra to the wife and kids"

            Shippers are the worst.

              @dc stared into the night, pondering to himself

              "I wonder what David Cage is doing right now," he thought, preferring to believe he was perhaps speaking with Willem Defoe, reminiscing about the good old days they had spent with Ellen Page, or planning his next game somewhere in the depths of his handsome head


            @dc looked down at @shane's package, which had been thrust into his hand.

            "It fits so well," he exclaimed, "I didn't realise it would be so big, but it's still perfect!"

            Shane smiled at D.C. shyly, blushing slightly at the compliment, "There's more it can do. I could show you, if you like."

            Taking D.C.'s silence as confirmation, Shane reached down to his package pulled out The Lesser Evil, and showed D.C. how books work.

              I'm so sorry for starting this, @dc :P

                It's okay, you've made the list and revenge will be enacted sooner or later.

                  Maybe I should share the story I received about Oliver and I... It might make you feel less traumatized :D

                  ...or maybe I should join in with the DC and Shane erotic more-than-friends fiction :D

                @powalen's heart was torn. How could he have caused this, this vile hurt to his one true love. Sure, @dc treated him just as a friend, but Pow knew they could be something more.

                "I know," thought Pow, "I'll get the other people on the forum to write slash fiction. That way i can get ideas to eventually put into my declaration of love"

          Whenever I hear the term "slash fiction" I imagine that it's actually blood hungry fans, who want to know what would happen if, say, Malfoy went on a stabbing spree through Hogwarts while under the pressure of his family's expectations.

            In the context, "stabbing spree" would be an entirely different concept (and probably not an unpopular one)

            I have no doubt that exact story exists and several variations too. Some where he stabs them with his penis, others where he stabs them with a knife and then his penis, others where he stabs them with his penis and then a knife and then this penis again.

            EDIT: I realise now that there was a perfect opportunity to make a wand/wang joke. Let's just pretend that in spite of the content of this comment, I was somehow above that.

            Last edited 12/11/13 4:23 pm

              Remember, slash writers: Blood clots, it's in no way a lubricant


                It's all downhill from here and we started in a pretty deep trench.

              Jordi once linked me to a slash fic where Lucius Malfoy took a power drill to Draco's head and had sex with his brain.

              Is that what you meant?

                Nothing will ever top the goffic stylings of My Immortal

                I was not aware that existed nor am I surprised that it does.

      Verisimilitude is a thing. Breaking canon partially can really fuck with that, but by the same token, sometimes a story can get pretty tied up in its own history to the point that the restrictions really fuck with some cool things you'd wanna do.

      The modern day compromise to that seems to be the now-ubiquitous 'Reboot'. Like anything, it's effective when done well, but used too frequently can really fatigue fans of the franchise by trivializing it.

      At the end of the day, re-writing canon to suit creative ambition without any in-universe explanation is basically lazy writing, so yeah, I think a little flak for that is probably deserved (even though I haven't played any MGS games since 2 and thus don't have a horse in this race).

        Star Trek has handled the canon thing well with the new movies. It still fits into what came before and can be explained why it's so different, but it doesn't invalidate what's come before either. You might not be a fan of the new stuff, but it still fits!

        Yeah considering this is MGS, making everything canonically correct is not Kojima's strong suit. I mean, just look at MGS3:

        It is by far one of the better games of the series but it took a lot of liberty with the timeline. Full-body stealth suits in the 1960s? Okay then, let's just ignore the fact that they were supposed to be flashy and brand-new tech in the first MGS.

        Then of course, all of the other scientific/mystical stuff never really gets explained and is just kind of accepted. As an origin story, it worked well but it certainly raised a few eyebrows.

      When you have a huge franchise like this, and such a large story around it all, it needs to make sense, you can't just write a story for one of the games that doesn't connect with anything else.


      Why make sense when you can have nanomachines? This is Metal Gear Solid we're talking about.

      Where's @Mawt?

      I need his expert opinion to parrot.

        "parrot" is clearly a reference to The End from MGS 3.
        I've already made clear that I believe the encounter with Quiet will be like a kind of mirror to the famous sniper battle encounter.
        It is known that The End is actually over 100 years old, and, to preserve what little life essence he has left, is able to enter a trance-like state. This is why he is in a wheelchair when you first see him.

        And so the inevitable conclusion starts to become clear, MGS 5 actually occurs within the mind of The End as a precursor to that fight in MGS3. It is the last dream of a dying man and in his bizarre dreamscape he inhabits the form of an attractive, mute, scantily clad girl instead of the withered old husk he is confined in when awake.

        This also explains why Snake is voiced by Keifer Sutherland; it's all a dream.

        oh! ohohoho, that Kojima is a clever devil! I nearly fell for his red herring of making you use the term parrot in your post!

        "canon" is interchangeable with "cannon", and you know what else has cannons?
        That's right, METAL GEAR?!
        and by connecting all the Metal Gear and Metal Gear Solid game cases together, do you know that that makes?
        That's right, an exact scale model replica of the Shagohod, with the MGS 5 & Phantom Pain cases as the cannon.

        All this time it was right in front of us, hidden in plain sight, just like Nanomachines!

      Hey, retcons are all the rage nowadays ;-)

    Ready to start breaking things now.


    It was good seeing

    John Noble on last weeks Sleepy Hollow. Just like old times. I hear he's signed on for more eps this season and has said he'll be back next season too.

    Last edited 12/11/13 4:25 pm

      I really should watch more of that.

        It's way better than it has any right being. Haha!

      I miss Fringe. D:

        Almost Human starts on Nov 17, the new show by Fringe show runner J.H. Wyman!

          I should probably tune in for that. On the topic of Fringe, I have been anticipating a five-season blu-ray box release but nothing has materialised at my local JB.

    Bought tickets to the Canada VS USA ice hockey game next year in perth, so excited, such a great idea!!!

      Mannn that would be pretty righteous!
      My sister and her GF go to the Hockey ALL the time. They are members of the Melbourne Mustangs. They wanted to go to Canada V USA when they were last out but apparently tickets were STUPID expensive

        80 bucks for nosebleed section tickets :(

        but should be worth it, its a pretty rare chance to see professional ice hockey in australia.

      It better be miracle on ice-like!

    Now I need to try and get a screenshot of some of my work. I'm going with my tank game from last year because it's the only thing I'm truly proud of. Plus it looks pretty cool.

    Total pain in the bitch to try and control one tank with a controller, the other with the keyboard, then try and get them to do something that looks cool AND capture it with printscreen. Needs more octopus.

    Not sure if i mentioned this before - but a couple of weeks ago when Bee was on her hens weekend I finally watched Black Dynamite (the movie).

    So many luls!

    I really need to do a cull on Facebook I think. The general intelligence level of my news feed is dropping incredibly fast.

    Sometimes I wish we were ruled by The Machine, and everyone would be compensated/paid equally for their contributions, regardless of what their job was. Lawyers would earn the same as garbagemen, etc. In this society, you would be evaluated, interviewed, and provided a list of assignments which best match your aptitude, talents, and motivations...

    Admittedly there are always people who aren't truly satisfied in life unless they're earning more than someone else, that's how they derive enjoyment - but you'd hope they could instead be satisfied with achieving more instead of earning more.

    In this ideal society... I can very easily see myself in jobs I'd normally never go back to because it'd be financial suicide, or alternately too competitive thanks ONLY to the high renumeration, rather than actual desire to perform in the role. Bartending. Complaints management. Hobby-shop owner/operator. Investigative reporter/opinion columnist.
    I think, some days, I'd actually be very happy and content to be a ferryman or sailor. (Not, not entirely AC4-inspired.) The Brisbane river utterly reeks, but on a windy day it's fantastic to be on the water. There have been a few times that I've hopped on the ferry just to ride it up and down. I love the sea more, though, and kind of miss outrigging. (Our high school club for it got shut down due to finding too many dead things in the water - it just freaked out the members too much and we didn't have enough to justify its continued existence.)

    Some of my favourite memories are of being out on the water. Especially if you go out til you can barely see people on the shore, then just float around, while there's a storm coming in. Nothing but the power of nature as far as the eye can see.

    What sort of unlikely 'dream jobs' would folks here take, if they didn't care about the pay and The Machine told you it was an option you could slide straight into?

    (Edit: Apart from the obvious. Pornstar, gigolo, playboy photographer, unjustified celebrity, international man of mystery, and made-up ones that don't exist - eg: interstellar starship captain.)

    Last edited 12/11/13 6:05 pm

      My list is super boring: Theme Park tester, Holiday Resort Reviewer, Professional Terrible Dancer, Science-Wizard, that sort of thing.

        That's the point. I wanna know what super-mundane stuff people really like and could really see themselves occupying their time with if the pay/availability weren't a factor. :)

          When I was young, I first wanted to be a doctor. Then I wanted to be a game tester. Then I got a job making game art, and I suddenly felt really sorry for the poor testers!
          I guess I still have a dream of possibly one day being a technical director in a game dev house, or doing some more cg stuff for tv or movies. That was a lot of fun when I was doing it for a living. Hard to come across good regular jobs for that kind of stuff round here though

          Last edited 12/11/13 6:35 pm

          Science-Wizard is my favourite, it's a job title I created for someone who sets out to scientifically validate things that would be nice to know, but which really aren't critically important. Things like "Is there an optimal way to reheat fast food chips (Kentucky Duck's spring to mind as one of the worst offenders) so that they aren't terrible." But all of this would be discovered via triple-checked methods, and written up properly.

          Another example I can think of is an extension of an experiment I did when I was young, and that's finding out the best type of paper-aeroplanes for different conditions, depending on whether you want height, distance, hang time, whatever else.

          Basically I would just be doing third grade science projects for a living, and it would be rad.

      Backyard tinkerer. Just sit around and build whatever, whenever, whyever.

      I'm going to be living the dream next year. Making fun things and selling them. And getting all you guys to make everyone you know buy all my stuff. :P
      I guess the big dream is to make enough so my husband can live his dream as well. He wants to photograph bands for a living. He's quite good at it but obviously with us to take care of he can't just run off and do that.

      "Dream jobs" I've thought of over the years range from hairdresser (before I shaved my head and developed an aversion to hair :P ), to singer in a band, to interior designer, and even a carpenter. I've wanted to try a lot of things but fear, money and being bad at formal training have always gotten in the way. I wonder what job The Machine would spit out for me?

        Oh man, your post reminded me, I would love to be a wedding singer.

        It would be the worst thing ever for the Bride and Groom, since they'd have to put up with me singing badly at them, but aside from the constant reminders of my crippling loneliness, I think it would be a blast. You could just stand there crooning ridiculously clichéd love songs at them. Fantastic.

      Professional Raconteur. Tell stories and be a general good dinner guest.

      A professional wanderer. anywhere, anytime, I'd just have to walk and look at stuff. Avidly or vacantly, completely at my discretion.

      ....Orrrrrrrr be a gardener.

      Military pilot, probs helicopters.
      Or racing of some kind. Running the Dakar would be the bomb.
      But alas, reality.

      I'm an office worker now but I used to clean toilets for a living.

      I preferred cleaning toilets, it was more interesting.

      But, it didn't pay so well, the hours were shit and people treat you like a cunt because you clean toilets. So yeah, I understand.

    So. I just backed that Slash card game.

      You were right to tell us. Reaching out for help when you have a Problem is very brave. Sit tight. People will be around shortly to take you someplace Safe and Secure.
      You won't be able to harm yourself anymore.

        I think you misunderstand.

          Oooooh! Alright, the life style change will take some getting used to but we support you, man. We support you.

          Last edited 12/11/13 7:07 pm

          No I think you misunderstood. @dc was right below
          There is no way that David Cage would end up with Buffy, that was a foolish pick. He clearly would have gone with Faith as a much more logically counter point to his own dreams and personalities

    Le sigh.. Just as I suspected, I'm getting right royally screwed by work for the next 3 months. Finally got in touch with my boss and she's confirmed that I'm going to remain casual for the 3 month trial. Even after I told them I could only work full time hours if I was getting the same money as I was getting from doing my part time job and work for the schools. They assured me I would be on more than that, but didn't bother to tell me it'd be 3 months down the track :|
    I also told her when I got the job, that due to my giving up my school work, I would likely run out of money in the first few weeks since I wasn't getting that cash income. Of course, now I've run out, and after trying to get hold of her for almost a week, she said she would talk with the owner and see what she could do (same thing she said the day I got the job.) So now not only do I not have any money to put fuel in my car to go to work or put food in my belleh, or pay bills, but I'm not going to be getting paid for not going to work since I'm casual :| Also means I wont get paid for public holidays etc.

    Last edited 12/11/13 7:01 pm


      What's your Paypal? I will send you $50 on THursday.

        Cheers man. You're a true champ! Haven't felt this mad in a long time. Even on a full fortnight's pay I'm gonna be $200 down on where I would be otherwise, but I could deal with that. If they could help me actually get there. They've actually just made my already shitty situation even worse. Of course she doesn't give a shit though. She's off to New Zealand tomorrow on a company funded trip. Dunno how they expect me to run the place and improve things if I can't even get there. Dumbasses!