Sheriff Offers Xbox One As Reward To Catch BB Gun Vandals

Sheriff Offers Xbox One as Reward to Catch BB Gun Vandals

A shrewd lawman in a town outside of New Orleans has a novel approach to putting a stop to a recent wave of pellet-gun vandalism: Offer an Xbox One as a reward. Maybe that'll get someone to fink on these twerps.

Sheriff Greg Champagne of St. Charles Parish, La. offered up the bounty on Thursday. He's dealing with 11 incidents in Norco, La. where business, car and home-owners report getting their windows shot out by a BB gun.

"Sheriff Champagne is offering an XBOX ONE gaming console as a reward," says a announcement (which really should be printed in this font) "for anyone providing information that leads to the arrest AND conviction of the person(s) responsible for the damage."

"Arrest AND conviction" was bolded and underlined, so you can't collect just by blaming this on the kid with the lazy eye who huffs gasoline behind the 7-Eleven. The vandals must be brought to justice.

Sheriff Champagne told the St. Charles Herald-Guide he suspects "at least two male juveniles in the area are responsible." The vandals struck first the day before Thanksgiving, shooting out the rear windshields of three cars. The following Saturday, they shot out another rear windshield and tried to shoot out a big window at furniture store, which withstood three pellets before the shooters gave up. Since then, another six incidents have been reported.

Know anything? The St. Charles Parish Sheriff's Office asks that you call 985-783-6807 and ask for Det. Chris Baird. Hell, for an Xbox One, maybe one of the suspects will turn himself in to get the bounty — like those idiot supervillains undone by their love of Hostess cupcakes and fruit pies.


    1. Report person, get Xbox One.
    2. Sell Xbox One on Ebay.
    3. Use proceeds to buy a kickass BB gun.
    4. Shoot windows.

      5. Sheriff gets annoyed
      6. Sheriff offers Xbox one for your arrest and conviction
      7. Someone else gets Xbox One for dobbing you in
      8. You go to jail.

    BB gun would have been the best damn christmas present ever.

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