Talk Amongst Yourselves

This is where Kotaku readers go to talk about the stuff we're not already posting about. Think of it as the official unofficial Kotaku community forum.


    Today is my work from home day!

    Of course, as good as that is, it brings with it a whole host of new complications.


    Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

    It's ok.. he woke up!

      Police were called into a daycare centre where a three year old was resisting a rest.

        A kid started playing in, uhhhh, the, um, sandpit.

        He...ahh.. He..... got all sandy?

        It's too early and I haven't had any caffeine.

          He just really likes to go against the grain.

      I was driving along with my dad one night and noticed the moon was crescent shaped. "I wonder if it's waxing or waning?"
      My dad squinted out the window and said "Waning? It isn't even Woudy!!"

      Also, the classic doing the rounds at the moment:
      A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
      "Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
      "Dad, you don’t mean-"
      "Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
      "Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
      "Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".

    -Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a cricketer!
    -Don't you start now!

      That seems like it would work much better spoken. Written the doctor just looks like a dick.

        The Doctor is a dick in all those 'Doctor, Doctor' jokes. Maybe I made it obvious and the real joke has it as, 'How's that?' perhaps? I'm not sure.

    Out of curiosity, how many AC4 people here have join Initiates?

      I did awhile back, don't remember how or why. Or what it does exactly.

        Essentially, if you don't care about the lore etc. you can consider it an extension of Uplay achievements. Do things in AC, get DLC rewards.

          What if I do care about the lore? (which I do)

            Then there's a tonne of extra info and reading on there, some of which is pretty interesting (and cool!).

              Awesome, have to go to the website for that then?

    How do you spot a blind guy at a nudist colony?

    It’s not that hard.

    Been messing around with the Command & Conquer: Tiberium Alliances game (browser based). It's nothing special so far, just a C&C themed faux-RTS. If anyone wants to give it a try (authenticates via Origin):

    Oh damn. My left foot is absolutely killing me at the moment. I'm supposed to go for a walk with a couple of mates, but I don't think I'll manage it today.

    So i am a idiot, like a fucking idiot.
    I booked tickets so myself and mr Alex pants could go see metric.
    I was super excited and even pre-ordered the exact minute i could get my hands on them. In my excitement i booked tickets for their Melbourne show and didn't realize until this morning.
    luckily the Sydney show still had tickets and i bought some verifying this time that the show was in Sydney. ROCKETMAN AIN'T SMARTICLE.

    on the plus side, THERE IS NO PLUS SIDE I AM A BOOB

      You are, not the best at organising trips are you? :P

        Im going to end up in Portugal next week by accident.

      for a positive spin on this, you're great at problem solving under strict time constraints?

      got anyone in Melbourne you can sell the tickets to?

        MAYBE, its not a big loss, better to find out now than later.

      Just for this I'm not putting out on the night.

      Seriously it's fine dude, the problem got solved so don't worry about it. And if it hadn't been solved, it would've been sad but not the end of the world. RELAX M'BOY.

    off to the first of two job interviews over the next two days. I love restructures at work bringing uncertainty


        Don't smash your interviewers. Don't.


          dont punch them though, probably wont get the job.

            dammit, I read this advice after my interview. For some reason the urge to punch people wasn't there. Round Two tomorrow, will I do a Mike Tyson impression? Time will tell

      Good luck bud! I know what you are going through. Getting interviews is a good start!

        cheers :-) my contract isn't up til February but trying to get ahead of the game. All the interview though I should be able to not be nervous for them. Ho hum

    Ugh, should've taken today off work as well...

    Anyway, will post something shortly about @rocketman and @steve_o_the_deve_o (<- that's probably the wrong tag) in Sydney next weekend to try and organise...something.

    My dad is coming home from a business trip today and takes a picture of the clouds outside of the plane from his window seat.

    He sends me a text of that picture with the caption: "Hey, which one do you think has all your information?" #dadjokepagesix

      Thats brilliant, your dad sounds awesome.

        Sorry to lie to you rockets, but I may have used some dramatic license

          ass, why would you lie to me red, is it because I'm gullible and its hilarious? I understand that carry on.

    Bleh, feeling so ... bleh today. Should have taken today off. On the bright side



      you know if you want
      (kicks ground sheepishly)

        Don't kick sheep! They are the pillows of the animal kingdom!

      Last night @f4ction, @blaghman, @rocketman and I gave Risk of Rain a go. It's actually surprisingly good. Reminds me of Borderlands but as a 2D platformer.

        I need to stop missing jumps, and being shit and things. I think ill just stand next to faction next time. :P

        Still really fun though. I want new characters though.

          Yeah, I was tempted to play Singleplayer last night but the game breaks on my main monitor (my monitor has a weird aspect ratio) and I couldn't be bothered switch my monitors around (ugh, it takes like 3 button presses).

          Last edited 04/12/13 10:00 am

            3 buttons, fuck that what are we animals?

              Right!? It's like we're in the goddamn Stone Ages over here!

        *googles Risk of Rain*

      Me too, I'm getting a lot of crap from my manager again about not keeping tickets updated... yeah it's got nothing to do with you constantly pushing me around to do other things for you or taking many hours out of my day to help customers on something. I'm not gonna miss him when he goes back to India.

      Edit: I'm getting so depressed up to the point of wanting to quit.

      Last edited 04/12/13 9:52 am

        Do what you think will make you happy buddy, If you do feel like there is no other option make sure you find a alternative before biting the bullet. Hugs bro.

          I don't know, I really don't. Either I risk making my depression worse (This is one of the main reasons why I'm barely about on TS and TAY for the last few weeks) and keep the job I've got, which does pay well but the cost of my well-being is getting higher and higher up to the point where I want to just leave and never come back. Or, I quit the job and risk being stuck in unemployment/getting crappy jobs only due to my lack of "education" having only a low level networking certification and advanced diploma, then things really get fracked up for me in the long term, since I'm still earning for my apartment.

          I'm in a bit of a pickle...

            Have you seen your doctor? Its not normal to feel anxious and deppressed most of the time buddy. You know the shit i go through and i wouldnt wish it on anyone, especially a good friend such as yourself. Maybe see a doctor and see if you can take some "stress leave" to figure your brain out?

              This anxiety/depression combo I've had for as long as I can remember. I think Tafe was the only time I didn't feel it cuz I was finally realising what I was quite good at in life other than playing video games. I'll have to look into whether or not the doctors I usually see are versed in psychological issues rather than physical ones like being ill. I've got Friday off in lieu at least after my last weekend was taken away due to platform outages at work on Saturday and Sunday, so I could fit in some time to look up a doc then.

                It wouldnt matter if the doctor is versed in it or not, they can always reffer you to someone else. But its definitely the way to go. Its hard to go through, just know TAY is here bro and if you ever need a escape you know im usually up for a game of something.


                It's helpful seeing a psych if you can, mine hasn't resulted in much difference in my actual mental state but I'm feeling better just knowing I'm at least getting some help.

      In two days the package should arrive \o/
      It should also be fitting!

        Huzzah! \o/


          You can talk to me on steam.

    I played 2 hours of the Last of Us last night and ended up feeling like absolute crap.
    Apparently it sets of my simulator sickness

      That sucks. You gonna keep giving it a go?

        I'll probably keep playing through it, but in much shorter sessions

      I got that as well. It's the vibrating camera in the first few sections. They cut it out not too far in.

        Nah, I'm not sure what it is but I'm still suffering it even when the camera has stopped the chaking

    Sinister. So I watched it last night based on a recommendation from someone here (I believe?) and from my uncle. I turned off all the lights, opened the window, grabbed the torch - all for good effect.

    Eh, not so scary.

    It was interesting, sure, but I really think I'm just not that easily scared anymore. Then I turned to my wife, and asked her what she thought. She punched me in the arm and said something along the lines of, 'that was the scariest movie I have seen! Why did you make me watch it? I hate you!'

      Apparently she had been cowering under the blanket for most of the film. So there you have it - Sinister - the scariest movie of all time. For her. My search continues however..

      Last edited 04/12/13 10:03 am

        Amnesia? Won't work if you're read too much about it.

          I've found that films that go beyond reality don't scare me. The Strangers was a fairly recent good one that simply involved strangers wearing sacks bags over their heads stalking a household? but managed to creep me out.

          Also, I remember Hostel freaked me out the first time I watched it. I didn't want to travel for a time after that. So real = scary to me.

        The Cure for Insomnia. Haven't actually seen it, but it's thr longest running movie of all time, goes for 3 days or something. But it was never rereleased for DVD, so good luck finding it (it's scary because you have to stay awake for something potentially boring).

    downloaded a heap of mods for Skyrim last night.
    goddamn... it looks so pretty now. only downside is it occasionally freezes.
    just things like better lighting, more grass, enhanced towns (so just cosmetic stuff using pre-existing models, so there shouldn't be any major conflicts between the mods)

    I'm thinking it might be because its hitting the RAM cap due to all the extra trees & stuff...
    but I cant decide what mods to get rid of....

    so questions for PC Skyrim people : what mods are you running?

      I think all I've got downloaded is midas magic, thief tools and a couple custom armour and weapon mods.

      I think I've got all of the sounds of Skyrim, enhanced grass, enhanced static mesh, pretty much what you've got. The lighting mods and the improved night sky are pretty fantastic as they make travelling at night such a surreal experience. Also it kinda forces you to pack torches because it gets really dark.

      I also got more blood cos why not and I grabbed the SkyUI thing for streamlined UI. The only one I'm considering getting rid of is the removed motion blur when you perform executions but I might stick with that one. The rest of the mods have been excellent and I've stayed away from the lore-breaking mods and any of the adds additional content stuff.

        Oh. Improved night sky and more blood, I also got them.

      I would want to run a mod that got rid of all the horrible snowy non-green areas :P

        I think there's a mod that turns the whole place into a desert.

          That would be just as bad! I've seen one that turns it into a rainforest! :D

          Actually, I take that back. Desert is much better than Tundra.

          Last edited 04/12/13 10:17 am

      With those mods you usually run into a problem with your graphics card running outta RAM. Download Afterburner and monitor usage, to see what has a big effect.

        4GB of graphics RAM isn't enough? :'(
        I suppose theres other things I could do to fix it. I upped the render distance from 5 to 9 cells in the ini file, which I know puts a bit more strain on your machine. might drop it back to 7 tonight...

          4GB? You got a new AMD card or something? Nice. :)

          Render distance makes a huge impact, if you increase it along with everything else.

            nah, its an HD6990 (aka 2x HD6970 + glue) still, i thought they had the xfire issues sorted out...

              You actually have 2GB VRAM then. It's shared by each GPU. 2GB definitely hits its limits with Skyrim mods @ 1920x1080, so I'd re-recommend checking your usage on Afterburner.

              Good card anyways and not really an issue in 99% of other games. :P

              Regarding render distance: you're compounding the demanding-ness of the game, since you upped shadows/details/everything, and then increasing the distance that all of this is required!

              Last edited 04/12/13 12:47 pm

                really? looking at the cards specs, its saying that its got 4GB...

                anyway... I'll turn the render distance down. I mean, with the the enhanced trees / grass mods its not as if I can actually see very far.

                  Yah, marketing hype. It's 2GB per GPU, so 4GB total. However you still only have 2GB that can be used at any GPU at any time.

      Quietcool ENB
      Skyrim HD
      Skyrim Flora and Fauna
      Sounds of Skyrim (ALL OF THEM)
      Perfect Water
      Shenk's Thievery Overhaul
      SMIMS Static Mesh Improvement Mod
      Perfect Fire
      Climates of Tamriel
      and some other stuff, that's just off the top of my head XD

        Also decided to play Skyrim last night... ended up spending 3 hours tweaking ENB...
        OH i did manage to walk from Riverwood to Whiterun \o/...

        I seem to spend more time tweaking mods then i do playing the game XD

          I've actually found myself refusing to use quick travel (aside from the carriage) because I want to see the impact of the mods. Dayum it all looks so pretty. :D

            Yeah i tend not to quick travel...
            OHOH add Scenic Carriages to the list of mods...
            Bit buggy but carriages now makes sense XD

        *madly scribbles down list*
        Still rather intimidated when it comes to mods, mainly because I still haven't had the chance to even look at them, let alone work out how to install them.

          One word:
          "Nexus Mod Manager"
          *counts words on fingers*

          Does it all for you...
          And steam workshop is a godsend... Subscribe to mod, open Skyrim Launcher and BAM... downloading...
          No stuffing around with data files, invalidation archives etc...
          pretty amazeballs

          if you're using Steam, just go to the workshop & subscribe to the ones you want. it all takes care of itself like some magical mod magician.

          if you're going through the nexus though.... no idea.

          Thanks @pixel_the_ferret_viking and @35 I am going through Steam so hopefully even I won't cause my PC to go into meltdown.

            just a tip so you can avoid what I'm going through -
            get them one at a time.
            download one, play for a bit & if theres no issues, get the next one.
            otherwise, if you're an idiot like me & get 38 at once, then when shit goes weird, you'll have a much harder time working out whats causing the problems.

    A rabbit is sitting at a bar, having a drink.
    Suddenly, an older rabbit turns to him and yells, "I had sex with your mother!".
    Unperturbed, the younger rabbit continues drinking.
    Again, the older rabbit says once more, "I had sex with your mother!"
    The younger rabbit turns to him and replies, "Go home, dad. You're drunk."


    Did you hear about the bicycle that tried to get up the hill?
    He couldn't do it. He was two-tired.


    Last edited 04/12/13 10:08 am

    ALRIGHTY EVERYONE. Starbound beta comes out in around 18 hours and 45 minutes. Get super hype, people. OR ELSE.

    (actually, it's probably completely off, but SOMETIME TOMORROW!)

    Last edited 04/12/13 10:13 am

      Looks pretty. Is it platformer or strategy?

        It's like super terraria in spaaaaaaaaaaace

        Space Terraria.

      If my work's farewell / Christmas party wasn't tomorrow I would so take tomorrow off!

      can i buy it or did i have to back the kickstarter?

          TANK YOU buddy, it can be our new game.
          we now have 2 and a half
          the half is trying to get forced to work.

      I actually have a couple of spare hypes right here.

      I'm not offering them to anyone, I'm just bragging.

      5AM tomorrow. I can probably fire it up tomorrow night.


    @benny and i wrote a thing about Metal Gear Solid

      I'm surprised there was not a single "SNAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEE!" line in that entire article. Mildly disappointed there but it was still a good read. Much nostalgia was had.

        SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEE works better if you have the music cue to go with it

      I actually just bought the legacy collection this morning and I'm hoping to get into the series. I've only played snippets of MGS 1 and 2.

      What's the best way to go about it? Chronologically or just follow the games' release dates?

    When @dc's not on screen everyone should say "Where's @dc".

      Also, @dc needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine.

      Actually, he has the latter.

        When is @dc going to get to the fireworks factory?

      I know what will get @dc to come back! Jokes obviously!

      Worker: "I'm taking tomorrow off, I have a problem with my eye"
      Boss: "Whats wrong with your eye?"
      Worker: "I don't know but I just don't see myself coming in".


    there is literally nothing to do at work.

    LITERALLY. i spend 3 hours yesterday hosing out and scrubbing the shed floor. Inside is immaculate, paper work is up to date, no training to do.

    I have never been so bored, i should of just taken a sick day like i was planning all along.

      You could do my work? What do you know about industry clusters?

        That businesses and suppliers being close together sort of forms a symbiosis of sorts and all businesses benifit?

        wikipedia makes everyone sound smart.

          Pretty much, though there's a couple of other tricks to it. I'm presenting on it tomorrow at a conference.

            Is the presentation about why putting sex shops next to deli's is both weird and super effective?
            Both have excellent ranges of sausages.

      I'm the same boat, just sitting around and watching the clock tick down. Worst hump day ever.

      I'm sensing a theme to today's TAY.

        Is it cowboys and indians???
        or space robots
        or lack of motivation
        tick tick tick

          It's all of these, and more.

          A very comprehensive theme.

    God Eater 2 is getting a patch to add online multiplayer for the Vita. I wonder if this is because of a lack of Vita penetration in Japan resulting in them lacking the critical mass that eg Monster Hunter has, where it's easy to find people to co-op with in your local area, or if they're adding the patch because it'll make the game viable outside Japan. Hoping for the latter.

    cc @ynefel

      It might just be a feature they wanted to include for the localization if they ever intended on it.

      God Eater 2 is one of the main reasons I decided to give the Vita another chance. That, Binding of Isaac Rebirth and PSO2.

    New Humble Bundle.

    Name your price for Magicka with "Vietnam" DLC, Natural Selection 2 and Sanctum 2. Pay more than the average price, and you'll also get Orcs Must Die! 2: Complete Pack, Serious Sam 3: BFE and Garry's Mod! All games are redeemable on Steam for Windows, with select titles available on Mac and Linux.

      Magicka, Sanctum 2, Orcs Must Die 2 and Garry's Mod all make up for the fact that you also end up with Natural Selection 2.

    It will start winding down for me in just over a week - until then IT'S CHAOS HERE!

      Reply fail. @rocketman

        I have 3 weeks left and i have 2 days off next week for seeing concerts in sydney.
        Im pretty hyped for my 16 days off. My sisters are both here for the holiday and we finally have room for them which means i get to have a very very christmas :)

    We should have a magicka playthrough again man that game is awesome.

    *** Awesome could also mean buggy piece of crap.

      Tagging @bish incase he needs a good laugh.

      Such a great game!
      Also, one of the best things about it is that as long as someone owns all DLC, everyone can play it with them.

      I'd be keen for some more Magicka. It's a shame it's limited to four players - would be such an awesome LAN game.

        Yeyeye, I have a couple copies of it. :P

          I found it way too difficult, but maybe playing it co-op makes it easier/more fun. But now I can't even do singleplayer. Stupid Steam can't connect!

            Yah some of the boss battles are really hard with just one player. Need to use a specific combo of spells, otherwise you're dead. :(

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