That's Not How Breasts Work, Ryse

Yes, most games have never been great at depicting realistic jyggle physics. It's not the best situation, but at this point, many of us are used to that. The breast physics on Ryse, though? I don't even know what is going on there.

Spoilers for Ryse follow/in the video above.

You'd think though that, given how much the new generation of gaming — and Ryse in particular — focuses on graphical refinement and physics, we'd have breast physics figured out by now. Apparently not.

Nevermind how scantily-clad this woman is, too — though she is supposed to a goddess, so that might explain the attire a little bit.

What makes this scene even better/worse is the context: Marius, as many game protagonists before him, watches his family die. Naturally this angers him and he wants to seek revenge — but then later on, this lady explains to him why exactly his father was killed. It's supposed to be an emotional scene, but damn, I'll be honest, the only thing I could focus on while the scene unfolds is how oddly the breasts are moving — you can see what I mean at around 1:30.

Welp. Next gen has failed us so far when it comes to breast physics. What about penis physics, I wonder?


    reminded me of plastic bags filled with water.

      All that crunching to get done on time and no one bother to finish the boob physics engine.

    I would love for Patricia to review Dante's Inferno and the penis physics story that would follow.

    Actually, really don't think she would make it past the 2nd level that is Lust.

      What about penis physics, I wonder?
      nope nope nope

      risky click

      Like this (I'm sorry): (No I'm not) :P

    Looks like those bewbs are caught in an anti-gravity field.

    If this is next gen boobies, then I'm going back to the PS2.

      I just want my pointy bits back :(

    I was thinking this was just another over sensitive rant, but those are pretty lulz. They're working in total opposition to gravity, up when they should go down, down when they should go up.

    Last edited 03/12/13 8:25 am

      I think they are too sensitive to the movement created by her waking and/or movement of the rib cage

      They look like they are made up of some kind of liquid, like water (as @julesliam said), so that when her rib cage moves forward and up the liquid/bewb flattens out and then sways back upward in a very disconcerting way.

      They definitely need top be more solid, but not rock hard 80s implant solid.

    Its the first time crytek makes a sexy female character so they have no experience in boob physics yet. They should get data from Japanese games since they spent years researching the perfect boob physics

    I suddenly get the feeling Ryse was made by a bunch of 12 year olds. Amazing graphics, lots of destruction and big explosions, sooooooo many QTE's, nfi how breasts work.

      What destruction? Its not even a qte to be honest. If you ignore the executions and play in hardest difficulty without dying and I will salute you.

        Im almost done on legendary, not too bad, just the right amount of difficulty, except the Archers in Trial by Fire, seriously WTF!

      Woohoo! Look at the blubber fly!

    Maybe she's so powerful that ever step she takes creates a huge amount of surrounding downward gforce? and then when she relaxes her muscles, it dissipates and that makes her booblies jump back :D

    Last edited 03/12/13 9:09 am

    I can't get over how small and pig-like this dude's eyes are. I mean, seriously!

    Boob physics can make or break a game IMO, if you can't do it right, don't even try because badly done BP just makes it look like a crap Hentai

    Someone should do a PhD in noon physics and help the games industry get it right. Once and for all!

    Everyone knows that boobs are like sandbags - who are these guys trying to kid :P

    Rofl i want to see what happens to them during a gust of wind

    doesnt DOA study this stuff? LOL

    Last edited 03/12/13 10:43 am

      I know I've studied this stuff in general quite a bit.

      Oh, in games? DoA's main selling point was the boob physics, wasn't it? I heard that you can also punch and kick, but that it seems like an afterthought.

    It's like she has a couple of heads attached to her chest, and they like to nod every time she takes a step.

    Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup.

    I believe she's actually the Goddess of Lava Lamps.

    it bothered me a bit at first but then i figured that she wasn't affected by gravity because her hair was a bit that way too, like she was under water or something.

      Yer, the whole way she was moving about. Some sort of Witch/goddess thing.
      Sure she disappears into thin air moments after but lets just focus on how her boob are unrealistic.

      Mountains out of Molehills again. This agenda on this site lately is starting to get ridiculous.
      Oh no she has boobs that game advocates RAPE.

    all that time and that was the best face they could come up with...?


    It's as if they were attached to her chin and stretched out by her shoulders.

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