New Transformers Movie Somehow Looks Worse Than The Last Three

New Transformers Movie Somehow Looks Worse Than The Last Three

I don’t know how they did it. I didn’t think anything could scrape under that bar.

RIP, Dinobots.

Comments

  • First off… OPTIMUS RIDING GRIMLOCK!!

    Second, agreed, that trailer makes my cringe at the human elements of this movie… I may have to wait for the blu-ray and skip through all the human components.

    • Because people don’t enjoy it. Dudebros do. I’ve been a firm believer that dudebros aren’t capable of having humanity.

      • The fact that it is one of the highest grossing film franchises of all time would seem to disagree with you.

          • Hmmm, Twilight. I wonder if it truly is the written masterpiece these dollar signs are claiming it as.

          • In the opposite position, see the Dredd reboot. Good movie critically, faithful to source material, good cast, low box office numbers.

          • Which pretty much killed any chance of a sequel. The big wigs on top see is as a failure. In fact, I bet they saw it as a failure when they couldn’t show the main stars face all over the movie poster.

            “We can’t show Dredds face.”
            “Wh-why? I don’t get it.”

            Gotta give props to Karl, remaining faithful instead of using it for fame.

          • Yeah, at least they did pretty well in DVD / Blu-ray sales. Unlikely to be a sequel, but still happy that it didn’t flop. It deserved to do really well.

          • Getting an actor to hide their face (let alone the ENTIRE MOVIE) with a mask or helmet is like trying to get a cat to take a bath. You’re not getting out unscathed and they will escape from your restraints prematurely.

            Oh and @dansdans – Yes. BRUCE WILLIS.

        • That doesn’t mean it’s good, it just means we keep paying Bay and Speilberg to further degrade the best parts of our childhood in hopes they finally get it right.

          And have you seen Americans at the movies? They are easily excited and scream and shout during explosions. Give them a few car chases, a hot girls with a nice ass who can’t act and cover it all in a dose of American pride and they are ready to love any piece of shit thrown at them

          • It’s not just Americans. They were showing Transformers 2 on 9 recently, and the advertising was: “Megan Fox in…Transformers 2”, with 3 gratuitous ass shots and only 2 of the actual robots, and surprisingly none of Shia.

          • I noticed that too. However I think there was one shot of Shia sitting in bumblebee. It was certainly advertised as starring Gales arse however. Perhaps the next step should be to highlight the Director/writer as Michael Bays arse.

          • True.
            I can’t even look at her with any sort of lust any more after seeing her terrible acting in Transformers 2. I know she is hot, but for gods sack stop talking or just move to porn!!

            3 last night was just as bad, the female lead spent 50% of the film in a skin tight white dress. When she finally changed it was in to an even smaller and tighter blue sparkly dress.

            Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy eye candy as much as the next dude, but if they over do it and then expect us top take it seriously then it just pulls you right out of the film

        • The net gross of a movie has nothing to do with its quality, Transformers revenge of the fallen was the probably the most incoherent film I have ever seen, with a bunch of plots mashed together, nothing made that movie good except for Megan Fox’s breasts and the big car robots that could create big explosions. No one watches Transformers for the plot, the audience watches it for the women and the robots, this film franchise is where acting truly dies. It’s sad that this franchise made the amount of money that it did.

  • As soon as I saw that Slingshot wasn’t an plane and Hound was… Whatever he is now, I cringed… But this?
    No….

  • Why the hell are the transformers so pointy? It’s difficult to tell them apart, they convey no emotion, they hardly ever speak and their voices are silly–so they are not even characters…just props. Worst of all, they convey none of the interesting part of their pieces actually transforming. They might as well just magically flash between car/robot. Just sad really. I feel bad for the guy that spent all those years trying to get the original transformers movie off the ground (can’t remember his name now) only to have it ripped out from underneath him once it started moving, and turned into the rubbish it did.

  • Interesting as I thought it looks better than the first three films. The Dinobots actually look fairly close to what they did in Gen 1

    • The Dinobots actually look fairly close to what they did in Gen 1

      Said no one who actually watched G1. Compare G1 (or even Animated/WFC) Grimlock to this. If anything, he resembles Predaking from Prime. I somehow knew after what he did with all the Autobots, that the Dinobots would just look like pointy metal shit.

      • Dinobots would just look like pointy metal shit.

        That pretty much describes every Transformer in Bays movies.

  • All you fanboys need to take a chill pill. I miss the days when people watched movies to enjoy them, not compare them to their source material.

    Just prove fanboys really are the worst thing ever, in any medium.

    • The movie looks trash, even separate from the continuity problems. The subtitle. The nonsensical trailer. The action scenes that are still basically unwatchable because every bot looks the same, making close combat a clusterf&$k of gunmetal grey and pistons. What looks to be the first movie’s premise shoehorned for a new protag now that even LaBeouf decided he wanted off the train.

      Also, these movies wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the popularity of the original series. I have no problems with reimaginings of popular franchises (Star Trek reboot, etc), but at least show some goddamn reverence for the subject matter you’re using as the basis for your film.

    • Even if you had never heard of Transformers these ‘movies’ make no sense within the continuity and context of themselves. I will admit I watch the pow pow bang bang on blu ray but seriously?in terms of both script and actual drama/story these films suck. But hey – that’s cool with me 🙂

    • I miss the days when people were able to absorb and understand criticism maturely as opposed to dismissing it like an ignorant child.

    • Yeah, the cartoons were terrible, I watch them with my kids and cringe at how bad they are. But that doesn’t change the fact that the movies are absolute garbage. I watched 2 and 3 over the last two nights and I can’t believe how self indulgent and crap they are. I had to send my kids to bed because ‘the transformers movie has too much swearing in it’.

    • Says the guy who attempted to use argumentum ad populum as some barometer for quality. If you enjoy these movies, go nuts, just don’t be surprised if your friends give you weird looks. But don’t write off criticism as “dem stupid fanboys!” I’ll admit that I’m something of a Transformers fan, but the fact that they get adapted doesn’t bother me. Beloved childhood properties getting modern interpretations is not a new concept and can actually be a pleasant surprise. What does offend me, is how truly wretched these are as films, not just Transformers movies.

      There’s no tonal consistency. Michael Bay attempted ‘drama’ in the 3rd movie by evoking 9/11 with civilians and buildings getting wasted, while interspersing this with slapstick footage of the little robots and Bumblebee. His humour veers between unfunny and downright offensive like those 2 ebonics-speaking ‘black’ robots, or the motormouth latino sidekick in #2. This platitude that ‘these movies are fun! stop being a spoilsport fanboy!’ doesn’t even hold true because unless you’re the sort of person who’s still impressed by CGI spectacle in 2014, Transformers isn’t even a spectacle. Watch Pacific Rim, a movie with far superior special effects and doesn’t try to shove lame gags, racist stereotypes and ‘Hoorah!’ Americana down your throat every 5 minutes. I don’t know what to expect from the upcoming Bay-produced TMNT.

      • From what I understand Bay may be producing but his script and him directing where vetoed and it’s somebody else now.

    • I’m not into Transformers at all. I’m not a fanboy. This look like a garbage movie, full stop. There is nothing enjoyable, I’m sick of watching 2 hours of fake explosions and lens flare.

      The terribleness of this movie has nothing to do with the bastardisation of source material.

    • “I miss the days when people watched movies to enjoy them, not compare them to their source material”

      To be fair, I’m sure people have always done this. It’s just that before the internet they probably had to do it in person 😛

  • I hate this art direction they’ve taken with Transformers. As far as I can tell, they’re all just a mess of grey metal bits and pieces. What’s even worse is that the modern Transformers toys seem to have taken inspiration from the movies and they look like crap too.

  • Tranformers: Prime and the Transformers Cybertron games from the past couple of years >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> anything Michael Bay has done to this franchise and its characters

    • The Transformers Ride at Universal Studios was actually pretty cool, and by pretty cool, I mean the best god damn rollercoaster type thing i’ve ever been on.

      • I went on that in Orlando when it came out last year. Its good but I do miss actual roller coasters. seems all the new rides are these faux coasters with 3d screens.

  • On a video games note – The Transformers Arcade game from SEGA is a bloody good and exciting on-rails light gun shooter! Go play now!!

  • Why does everybody expect transformers to be something its not.

    enjoy it for what it is ffs. big robots fighting with lots of explosion and michael bay lens flare

    • Because there’s more to Transformers then that. I don’t want to sound like some pretentious, hipster fanboy, but what always made the show appealing were the characters. It’s been proven with the latest My Little Pony show where they actually gave the characters some friggen character.

      Why do you think that whenever you ask someone, “Who’s your favourite Transformer?” you’ll most likely always get a different answer? Half of which are Decepticons.

      For me it’s Starscream.

      • I don’t know what you mean by there being more to transformers, the cartoon was pretty light in the beginning

      • I dont disagree with you there. That’s beside my point though.

        my point was that if michael bay is still making the movies, why do people expect something other than a michael bay movie?

    • Because I can’t get over the fake explosions and lens flare. It’s fine once…. this is the 4th time.
      I’m so over all this crap. Unfortunately they just keep making what the unwashed masses keep lapping up.

      Pacific Rim was another example of a god awful film yet for some unknown reason people liked it. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed at a movie so hard. Even comedies.
      We need to tell hollywood that they can’t just throw big robots on the screen and watch the dollar signs roll in.
      Well they can, but it’s up to the public to change that.

    • Because, even though it’s something as simple as big robots fighting with lots of explosions, Michael Bay can’t even avoid fucking THAT up. No, he makes the big robots (you know, the TRANSFORMERS in a movie called “Transformers” into supporting characters so we can watch a whiny teenage loser try to get laid with a fanservice bimbo while the MIGHTY AMERICAN MILITARY save the world instead. It’s not “simple, dumb fun” it’s “simple, dumb BORING”.

  • I nearly shat myself when the name Michael Bay came up at the end of Pain and Gain – I did not think he could ever generate a good movie. There might be hope, but it’s really slim.

  • But half the time it isn’t that, it’s “LOL RACIST COMEDY SO FUNE” and “human girlfriend problems”. The robots ‘fighting’ is like watching hobofights on youtube, the camera work and similarities between robots make it nigh impossible to follow the action.

    EDIT: Reply meant to be at @jarrys88

  • Sit down turn your mind off and enjoy its not that hard to do, I liked the other transformers movies when doing this

    I watch for entertainment not to stress and cry about it on the internet

    • But… they’re not entertaining! That’s what we’re complaining about!

      Maybe you enjoy crap like this, but then again there are people who enjoy being tied up with rope in a tight leather outfit and having an angry woman piss on their face.

  • If only the abuse of someone’s childhood was a crime, Michael Bay would never see the light of day again.

  • I am yet to hear an even vaguely description of how a live action dinobot could be anything other than utterly ridiculous – so the only thing the movie can do is embrace that ridiculousness completely. Optimus riding a dinobot whilst wielding a sword seems to fit that to a T.

  • Im offering 2:1 odds that the car chase scene from The Island, re used in Transformers 2 or 3, makes another appearance in this movie

  • Sigh, these movies are just tiresome now. Stay for the last quarter of the movie where the action is

  • To be fair, Bay could make a masterpiece and nerds would still ridicule it because it’s safe to do so. This is a 30 sec promo that actually looks pretty decent. Take your critic hats off because you aren’t treading any new ground with your opinions.

    • “You can’t criticise things when a series continues to do stupid things!”. Seems like you’re the one retreading ground here. Bay hasn’t made a masterpiece in a long time. Tell me, what exactly about the promo looks decent? Apart from OMG LOLZ OPTIMUS ON A DINOSAUR WITH A SWORD WE DINOBOTS NOW!?!

      • You realize how ridiculous it is whining about a movie that is marketed towards 12-17 year olds (unless that’s your age)?
        Have you seen ‘Pain and Gain’? A film that is actually catered to an older audience whilst retaining shots that Bay is renowned for. It’s a more than decent film. Admittedly, Bay is no David Lynch, but Bay is a consistent filmmaker, whilst Lynch is off designing bar interiors.
        Calm yourself and quit your self righteous rage. If the movie turns out to be rubbish as you’ve apparently foretold, you’ll be no worse off for it.

        In regards to the promo, the film is probably very early in post production. These trailers are usually put together months before unveiling.

        • Everyone gives Bay praise were it is deserved but on these movies that make him a ‘consistent filmmaker’ there is more then enough to form an opinion that they are bad movies as there has been three movies already!
          Also saying it is marketed towards 12-17 year olds is ignorant.

        • I’m 23. Why is it that Disney, a company that almost exclusively makes movies ostensibly targeted at those ages and lower can manage to create movies that can be enjoyed by a wide variety of people? Why is a movie immune to criticism just because it’s ‘outside of the target demographic’ (especially when the franchise that it’s built on is a lot older than that)?

          “It’s a more than decent film”. Yeah, you lost me there. Pain & Gain was quite average, bordering on terrible, thanks mainly to Bay’s signature penchant for explosions. Critics agreed. Your final comment reeks of ‘but it’s a beta!’ mentality, rather than addressing the core problems with the film series itself.

  • I think we need to start a new category of film: SAMV: Senseless Action, Mindless Violence.
    That way we would know to turn off our brains when watching anything from this category…

  • I don’t care too much about the storyline/connection to the animated movie or series, but how has nobody caught the pyrotechnic failure in the scene where Grimlock is smashing through the archway. It is a stone arch with a wooden pagoda. Why would there be 4 explosives/rockets shooting off? Second, why do the two on the right obviously come from the ground? That is excessive and sloppy at the same time. Explosions for the sake of explosions?

  • I honestly see very little difference between Transformers or Pacific Rim in terms of content. Yet the latter gets praised and the former slammed when in essence, they are the same. Robot smash

    • I honestly see very little difference between Transformers or Pacific Rim in terms of content.

      I beg to differ, Pacific Rim doesn’t contain things like:

      dick jokes
      bum jokes
      robot testicles
      embarrassing mums high on pot
      gratuitous up-skirt and cleavage shots
      dogs humping
      robots humping
      robots urinating
      funky street talking gangster robots with gold teeth and hip attitude
      Robots so impressed by America they dedicate their life to defending the freedom of humanity

      I could go on and on. But yeah, you get the point.

    • I honestly see very little difference between Transformers or Pacific Rim in terms of content.

      Pacific Rim has a multiracial cast that isn’t boiled down to a bunch of racist stereotypes. It actually characterises its female lead as a strong, capable, independent woman. It doesn’t shamelessly objectify or sexualise her… or thrust a camera into her butt and breasts.

      Pacific Rim is ultimately a positive tale about how the world working together is better than one that doesn’t. It isn’t a fetishistic blowjob to the US Military.

      Pacific Rim plays it straight by using humour at key moments for levity. It doesn’t blow its wad with puerile leg-shagging robots, parent gags or masturbation jokes people grew out of at 15.

      Pacific Rim is a technically-proficient movie, Transformers is not.

      Now, that last point is an important one. Michael Bay used mo-cap stuntmen in harnesses without realising that you can’t scale a human’s acrobatics to multi-tonne robots and expect it to look real. Watch Pacific Rim and notice how slow and forceful every motion is, how the Jaegers have to recover after every blow and wind-up before every attack. Objects on that scale simply aren’t agile, regardless of how powerful they are, Optimus Prime shouldn’t be able to do backflips or pirouettes. Then there is the issue with the Transformers seemingly ‘floating’ above ground, without interacting with the physical set the footage is overlaid on, an unfortunate reality with excessive green-screen use. Or how about how Bay abuses shaky cam and thrusts the lens right into the middle of the action so you can’t make sense of the fighting, or the fact that many robots are uncoloured and when they fight, it looks like 2 piles of grey shit are wrestling.

      Yes, these are technical pet peeves but I can’t abide the attitude that somehow Transformers has great special effects and that somehow excuses the rest of it. Even on that point, Transformers isn’t special. You want well-executed action? Watch one of the new Fast & Furious movies. You want spectacle? Pacific Rim has it in spades. Transformers is inexcusably bad by virtually every metric that counts.

      • “Pacific Rim is a technically-proficient movie,”

        That is the dumbest thing I’ve read all week. Looks like you and I didn’t watch the same Pacific Rim. I literally cannot find the words how horrible that movie was from every single aspect. The only thing it did is make me laugh harder than every comedy I’ve seen for a few years.

        • Uhh… dumbest thing you’ve read all week? I can say the same of your comment. You obviously think you know what ‘technically-proficient’ means. Regardless of your attitude toward the film’s premise, arcs or characterisation, it was still a visually impressive movie that combines plenty of excellent special effects with physical props, actual set-building and inspired world building by Del Toro.

          I’m not saying it’s the best movie ever made, I’m saying it’s superior to Transformers by every metric that people use to judge films. If you disagree with that, then please, in clear words elaborate so we can clear up any confusion you think is going on. If you like Transformers, say so. If you’re daring to presume it’s the same quality as Pacific Rim, you’re wrong. If you prefer grimdark drama, that’s your prerogative but as summer movies go, Transformers is dogshit and attempting to say “yeah well… Pacific Rim is a robot tentpole movie, so it’s just as bad!” is just false equivalence.

  • Honestly they should reboot this franchise and give it to someone else to make.. or just remake the 1986 cartoon movie, in live action with today’s special effects and that would be awesome.

  • Credit where its due, they do appear to have gone through and cleaned up the objectively horrendous character design from the previous films to some extent, even on characters that appeared in the previous films. They’re still not good, but at least they’re somewhat readable now.

    I still won’t be seeing this, but it’s nice to see that the point actually sunk in eventually.

  • Seriously Michael Bay stop making this god awful shit, ill be skipping this and the TMNT movie.

  • ok, so Optimus riding Grimlock is the gayest thing since aids. i really hope they don’t fuck up ninja turtles this badly. i saw what looked to be character designs the other day and i was not impressed. i mean the shot of don looked like he had a god damn predator canon attached to his should ffs.

  • How anyone can defend these movies is beyond me. I recently watched 2 and 3 as they were on TV and I was flabbergasted. Full disclosure, I loved the cartoon back in the day but I have no reverence for it, it was a super cheesy and tacky and cringe worthy, but VERY effective advertisement for some pretty sweet toys.

    One thing I can’t figure is out who these movies for? They have really childish slapstick and kiddy characters, but it’s full of swearing. I said “hey kids, let’s watch Transformers, you’ll love this silly over the top action movie” but I sent them to bed after I’d heard enough bitch shit dick pussy ass etc (the third film even drops the F-bomb). And then there’s the sexual stuff, film 3 introduces the female character with an unnecessary, extended up-skirt. It’s absolutely ridiculously seedy. I mean … WHY!? So they’re too juvenile for an adult, there’s too much adult content for kids. Surely teenagers aren’t fooled by this kind of garbage?

    A transformer humps a woman’s leg, a mother talks awkwardly about masturbation and gets high on marijuana, the camera at one point cuts to two dogs humping, FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN A DUMB LAUGH. I really can’t believe any of the things I just wrote are things that would be in a transformers movie.

    Then there’s the length. The movies are way too long and boring, there’s an entire subplot (in an already bloated film) about Sam trying to get a job and do office life in a colour coded corporate setting. WHY WAS THAT EVEN IN THE MOVIE!? It wasn’t interesting or funny or engaging. There’s an extended scene in which Sam gets dating advice from his parents in their bus while his mother awkwardly pimps a book about women’s needs. Why? WHY? Sam also goes to robot heaven and gets born again or something. It’s like Michael doesn’t edit a single thing from any movie. If this is gonna be a dumb-fun action movie about robots and explosions, why fill it with crass and drawn out sub plots and scenes that don’t contain robots and explosions? Get to the point?

    Seriously, the tone of these movies is so all over the place I don’t know if I’m watching a sci fi film, a revenge of the nerds college comedy, a techno military romp, a pixar Wall-E type affair. It’s just an insulting mess of film making.

    Then there’s the effects. Transformers can only be described as looking like someone filled a clear bag full of smashed up computer bits and dangled them inches from a camera. It’s like visual diarrhea. It’s confusing and overwhelming and not engaging. Then the rest switches between looking like an army recruitment video or a Maxim cars/women calendar.

    And there’s the endless plot holes and leaps of logic. I can’t begin to list them all. So much just doesn’t make sense. The plot holes are so staggering they’re insulting to the intelligence.

    So who are these movies for? I dunno, people who have no taste in movies and laugh at bright flashy things that explode and testicles, dick jokes and animals humping. That’s actually a big demographic and they’ve lined Bay’s pockets with riches.

    • I’m in this boat. I try not to judge people by what they like because different strokes for different folks. Your favourite book is Atlas Shrugged? Okay, we can agree to disagree but I can respect that… but if someone tells me they love Transformers, I can’t treat that as anything but a crippling character flaw. If they can unironically enjoy something so terrible and actually derive enjoyment out of it, it begs the question ‘what else do they like?’ and more importantly ‘is this a person I have anything in common with, and can I continue talking to them?’

      • “I’m in this boat. I try not to judge people by what they like because different strokes for different folks. Your favourite book is Atlas Shrugged? Okay, we can agree to disagree but I can respect that… ”

        Thank you.

        There’s lots of things that don’t appeal to me, and I respect that. And not everything has to be a masterpiece, 50 Shades of Grey and Harry Potter aren’t particularly well written, but things can be enjoyed without reinventing the wheel. And some things are guilty pleasures too, Billy Madison rightfully received poor reviews but sometimes cinematic junk food tastes oh so good. But occasionally something like Transformers comes along and I can happily say “you are wrong, this film is bad.” And no amount of ‘different strokes for different folks – I’m not the demographic – you need to understand the source material – it’s ironic’ type arguments can fly. Unless you get enjoyment over laughing at how bad the movie is, you are wrong if you enjoy it.

      • Maybe it’s just because I’ve never met someone whose favourite book is Atlas Shrugged, but I’d definitely put it into the Transformers category of crippling character flaw. If anything, it’s worse than Transformers because Rand obviously put a lot of care into the thing, which is much, much more than can be said about these films.

        • Atlas Shrugged to me is like The Catcher In The Rye. I think they’re badly-written and mean-spirited but if you like them, then we can agree to disagree. On the other hand, Transformers has giant robot testicles. If someone says Transformers is the bestest movie ever, I begin to question their mental competency and worldview.

  • The critics are always the loudest. Maybe you guys can all meet up and discuss how these movies are ruining your childhood memories.

    Meanwhile, the rest of us will switch our brains off for an awesome ride.

    Next rage story, “HOW THE OLD BATMANS ARE HEAPS BETTER THAN THE NEW ONES”

    • New isn’t always bad. It all depends on how it’s done. I saw some of Batman & Robin from 1997 on TV the other night as well as Batman Forever from 1995 a while back. I couldn’t watch either for more than a couple of minutes. They were so extremely cheesy. They were like a pantomime. Tommy Lee Jones, Uma Thurman and Big Arnie were embarrassingly cheesy.

      I can’t believe they were as popular as they were at the time and I can’t believe bands like Smashing Pumpkins agreed to put songs on the soundtrack. I love the more rational, down-to-earth grittiness of the newer ones.

      Or are you talking about the 60s TV show…? (THWACK! KAPOW!)

  • I really enjoyed all of the movies, first one was a bit slow but had a better story, 2 and 3 had less of a story but were very good visually.

    Maybe its because i don’t go into movies assuming they are something else other then 2 hours of entertainment with hopefully a half decent story. If i wanted a riveting story which pulled at the heart strings i would read a book, I am yet to see a movie which tells its story better then a book can. I am glad though that they got rid of shia la beouf, he was to whingy and whiny for me. Megan Fox and her successor could have had more of a role (less about boobs and bum) but I am not complaining, they could at least act which is more then i can say for shia.

    I can think of quite a number of movies that critics have raved about that i can honestly say were not worth the film they were printed on (Titanic is the perfect example) but that’s just my opinion, different tastes and all.

  • Why does the CGI look so out of place…? It looks as though they hardly bothered trying to blend the CGI with the real footage? Are we going backwards in technology?

    • CG in film trailers is largely incomplete and done months before they release the film (see the terrible after effects work in ‘Robocop’ 2014)

  • oh hey there’s a robot fighting another identical robot with plenty of close calls and bear misses that you just have to see (because it’s in slow motion with some obnoxious low frequency “booooms”)

  • Not surprised. people were stupid enough to pay for the previous movies, so why bother trying so hard.

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