These are not my glasses.
The prescription is off. Way off. I have squint to see anything. The lens in the left eye does this strange thing where it bends light and makes everything look like it’s been shot with a fisheye lens. If I close one eye I can almost feel human again but, for the most part, the whole thing just gives me a headache.
I can’t walk in a straight line when I wear these glasses. I literally bump into things. I have a bruise on my left thigh from walking directly into the sharp edge of my kitchen table.
But it’s all been worth it. If I didn’t have these shitty glasses that don’t even work properly, I wouldn’t be able to play Dark Souls II.
The glasses belong to my wife. God bless Specsavers and their perennial two for one deals. I have a constant headache, and my brain is probably being warped in strange new ways to aid with the disorientation, but it’s all been worth it.
Turning the game on for the first time with these weird glasses was strange. It was hard to shake the feeling that one eye was just a little behind the other. It was a little bit like playing a video game inside a hall of mirrors. Some things seems stretched beyond recognition, others short and stumpy.
Regardless. I’m playing. I can still play.
As for my progress? Well it’s slow but steady. A few people have mentioned to me that Dark Souls II feels easier. I completely disagree. Most of these people have two or three playthroughs of the original under their belt, and those skills -- for the most part -- transfer to the sequel. I’ve found the game just as difficult. I’ve been stuck on the Ruin Sentinels for at least two to three hours and actually had to head off in a different direction to try and level up, and prepare myself better for that encounter.
As usual I had done things a little backward, completely missing a boss (the Ornstein-esque knight) and somehow managed to miss the ring that limits the health reduction you take as a hollow. But after one too many deaths against the sentinels I went back in that direction, took out Ornstein-lite relatively easy and found the ring. Now I’m up a few levels and good to go against those bloody Ruin Sentinels.
But my eyeballs? My poor suffering eyeballs? They continue to take punishment. There’s a strange parallel here. The more I rely on these glasses, the worse my eyesight becomes. I need a pair of proper glasses with my prescription but I don’t have one in my inventory. It continues to worsen but there’s nothing I can do to stop the process.
Basically, my new glasses are a human effigy, and my eyeballs are slowly turning hollow. Argh, to be human once more…