Talk Amongst Yourselves

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    Hey folks! Hope you're well! I had a pretty amazing weekend. Pretty real amazing.

    Yesterday I went to the going away thing for my pals who are off to Canada, though. Felt extra strength emo on the way home. End of an era. :'(

    Last edited 28/04/14 8:44 am

      Why is everyone moving to Canada!?

        Cause it's the Australia of North America, free health care and animals which will fuck you up and gun control..? :P

          No- No! No...

          Oh dear god it all makes sense

            Don't fight it, just let it take you gently.. It will all be okay.

          You forgot the important bit.... better Internet! xD

            According to my friends there, only in the cities, go outside of a city and it's like here, shit.

    Morning all. How was your weekend? mine wasn't too bad. Other than work and playing some Trials: Fusion here and there I replaced the fuel pump in my car and it actually works. took about an hour to do with the help of my father-in-law (who just happens to be a mechanic), would've been able to do it myself, but probably would've taken me about 4 or 5 times as long.

    So what if he helped me, I still feel good about myself. I fixed something, hooray for me.

    Reposting from Old TAY since it's hard to see notifications at the moment:

    @popdart5 I was talking with some friends about playing proper Pathfinder RPG while playing the card game adaption on Friday, and there were expressions of interest from several in trying it out.

    Obviously our current group's full but I'm thinking that the same approach, running it online might be workable. On the other hand, I've played a fair bit of pen & paper stuff but always as a player and not as a GM. Since the rest of them would be completely new to it (aside from one friend who played an introductory session at PAX apparently) I'd probably think I'd be best suited to GMing but I have no idea where to actually get started, what I'd need to do (and what I'd need to buy) and so on. Eying off Paizo's adventure path stuff since that seems like it'd take away a bit of the stress in terms of coming up with a storyline and stuff, but are they any good?

    Tips/advice appreciated. @redartifice as well since you also GM stuff (don't know if you've GMed Pathfinder specifically?).

      What about running a pre-made adventure? It's a great way for new players to learn and as GM you'll have a framework already set out so the conceptual side of things will already be taken care of. You'll still need to think on your feet, moderate, guide the adventure and change it on the fly, but the basics will already be sorted.

      That'll also let the new players figure out if it's really for them, and you can bookend a "personal" campaign off the conclusion, so only those players who want to invest the time need continue.

        That's mainly why I was interested in the Adventure Path stuff Paizo puts out. Basically a series of adventures that go from level 1 through to around 15 or higher, in 6 installments that they do one a month for six months. There's also the possibility of grabbing a small pre-made scenario with a 2-3 encounters in a simple dungeon from somewhere for the first go at it too. I know there's something like that in the Beginner's Box, but the issue with that is that it's stripped right down from the full rule set (eg only 4 classes) and I suspect my guys would find it too limiting.

          The biggest problem I've personally found with pre-mades (noting that I've never GM'd Pathfinder, only D&D3.5 / 4) is that they focus too much on combat and not enough on problem solving. This is out of necessity. It's much easier to script "here is a room full of Kobolds" than "talk your way out of this prison cell" for a guide.

          Best suggestion would be to find a well written pre-made (Google around for reviews / modifications) and then make changes to it as part of your pre-work. So rather than writing then entire thing yourself, go through and edit. I remember running "Keep on the Shadowfell" (4th Ed) using an entire set of rewrites from the Internet.

      Kotaku keeps eating my comments. I'll keep this as a placeholder in the hope it gets through.

      Basically, keep things simple to start off with and tailor the campaign to your players.

      Edit: The core rulebook is pretty good for both GMs and players to start with and can be found at most FLGS for about $60-70. Alternatively you can grab the PDFs online for about $30 or free, depending on where you get it from. The bestiaries are pretty redundant in book or PDF form as the resource that we've been using as all of the bestiaries aside from Bestiary 4 so it has all of the generic monsters and creatures and then some.

      The Rise of the Runelords adventure path is the only one that I see consistently in store so I don't know if that's the most recent or just the most popular but check it out. Paizo also has a bunch of other mini-campaigns and one-shot adventures but these are mostly set in Golarion IIRC and that setting can get a little weird at times. Have a look at what's out there and either pick something that your players will like or come up with something yourself.

      A lot of Pathfinder hinges on the mechanics and how things work so start off simple and then build into more complex dungeons and encounters for your players. Improvisation and dice-fudging are time-honoured traditions so don't feel bad for mixing things up on the fly to create a more compelling story.

      Last edited 28/04/14 9:32 am

        Kotaku is absolutely fucked right now. I think the speculation that the Too Fast error is looking at the last time *anyone* posted is correct. :|

        I've seen the Pathfinder core books in a few places, I think I will aim to get a dead tree copy. Maybe will look around online though, see if I can find cheaper. I feel like the places I've seen it have been a lot more than $70, but might have been other books. Seems like the sort of thing that will attract mad Australia Tax though.

        As I understand it the Adventure Path stuff published by Paizo before 2009 is actually targeted at 3.5, not Pathfinder (which didn't exist yet at that point) and most likely Rise of the Runelords is common because it's the first adventure path they published and it has a re-release that fixes up some stuff and re-targets it to Pathfinder rules (where you need to do that manually for the others).

        I don't want to do Runelords if I can avoid it though, because we've been slowly working our way through the Pathfinder Card Game which is an adaption of that same campaign. Looking around, the post-Pathfinder Adventure Path that seems to consistently rate highly is Kingmaker, but I probably need to do some more research as this really only came up as a major possibility yesterday. I'm mainly interested in the Adventure Paths because there's an existing plot progression there so I don't need to think about it too much. I could probably think of a way to string together unrelated modules but having an overarching story is nice and I feel like it'd get my group more involved. Though maybe I should do that myself and go all the way in on some world building and stuff.

        What's weird about the Golarion setting aside from the way it seems to lack cohesion because it's been added to by tons of different people without a huge amount of oversight? I haven't looked deeply at it but it does feel a bit piecemeal where some of the better classic D&D settings don't. Reminds me a bit of the Star Wars EULegends. :P

          Golarion is interesting in that it is different but kinda in a weird way. They've basically gone all out and said that the setting is still straight fantasy but with a lot of elements changed around from say Eberron or Forgotten Realms. For instance, Golarion is written as being one planet in a massive galaxy and they do have rules and settings written for interplanetary travel (because magic). A lot of the monsters take on a different feel as well as things get a bit darker for a lot of stuff, such as Goblins and Ogres (the fluff text for ogres is actually kind of terrifying).

          Then we get to the point which you raised that has a whole bunch of stuff added in piecemeal without any real idea of how it all fits. So you now have a setting where, canonically, you have Jabberwockys and other Alice in Wonderland monsters running around with Cthulu monsters and Oni and Greek mythology titans and then really weird stuff like Worm-that-Walks and Giant freaking Amoebas. And this is before inter-planar travel and all of those crazy creatures.

          I'm not warning you off it. I'm just letting you know that while Pathfinder does have a recognised and approved setting in Golarion, a quick look at the Bestiaries will let you know it starts to get a little weird. Play with the rules and structure it as you want as it is a remarkably fluid system that allows you to interchange a bunch of 3.5 rules as well if you prefer.

            Yeah, that's what I was meaning by feeling piecemeal and lacking cohesion compared to settings like Greyhawk or Ravenloft or even Forgotten Realms. Our group found it kind of weird in the card game for example that one of the enemies alongside the usual goblins and skeletons and stuff was a Bunyip. Did a double-take the first time it came out.

            Whatever happened to the old AD&D settings anyway? Stuff like Planescape, Dragonlance, Dark Sun and so on. I remember them being super popular in the 90s but they seemed to all disappear when the transition to 3.0 happened. I know Greyhawk still has some support still but as I understand it the setting basically died when Gygax passed. Nowadays it seems the only big cohesive settings in D&D and derivatives are Eberron and Forgotten Realms. :(

      I've not GMed Pathfinder specifically, but have GMed 4e.

      My advice is get a pre-made adventure for starters- I've heard the Pathfinder ones are good. Let your players know that you're going in with a pre-made- not to put them entirely on rails, but so they have the understanding that you're learning and don't try to subvert it too much.

      The Pathfinder corebook is very good, I'd suggest grabbing that in dead-tree if you're GMing.

      In terms of resources, this is what's in my standard GM kit:

      - Dice! you should have at least two full sets of dice (2d6, d8, d10, d12, d20), one for GM use and one for player use. ideally each player should have their own set- if you want to do it on the cheap, buy them individually, most game store will sell them cheaply by themselves. Or they can just buy a Chessex set or similar. If your characters have a mini or picture of their character, that's great too
      - Paper for notes/scribbling
      - counters + blu-tack for tracking effects- if something is
      - minis! You don't need to use minis for D&D, but it can help track proximities and spaces. While these days I tend to just go with "that monster is close/a way off/far away," it helps if you have some way of showing that to players when starting out. You don't need specific monsters- I still use plastic knights that I bought from Go-Lo for bits and pieces. LEGO men/ coloured bricks work well here too, or print off pogs that you can cut out. The Pathfinder beginner box has some too.
      - a map board- a nice big sheet of clear plastic will do, something which you can draw dungeon maps on. My ex-girlfriend made me a whiz-bang one, but before that we had a bit of cardboard with an inch grid printed and laminated at officeworks that worked a charm.

      I also second what @beeawwb said below- be aware that pre-gens are often combat focused. If that's what your friends decide they like, great, but I personally find GMing pure combat to be tedious.

        I was thinking of using Roll20 & Hangout the same way we did for TAY Pathfinder so can skip a lot of the extra supplies. Do think I'll try and get some dead trees though. Maybe some dice as well, if only because it's sometimes useful to do it that way. And we might end up playing in meatspace sometimes.

    Morning all. I see Kotaku is still all screwy. What's up with that?

    I finally bought Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines when it was on sale the other day. I always mean to buy it whenever it's on sale and now I finally have. It's pretty alright. Not sure playing a Malkavian for my first character was the right choice as it's made the story a bit hard to follow, but the dialogue options are great.

      Malkavian, are they John Malkovic's Vampire army? :P

        Lol, no.

        Description from Wikipedia
        Malkavian: A clan of lunatics whose madness grants them strange insight. Their Discipline of Dementation allows them to spread their insanity like a plague.

        Damn quote didn't work the first time, fix your shit Kotaku.

        Last edited 28/04/14 9:00 am

      Nooooo, Malkavians actually spoil the story through their 'gift'. Re-roll and leave that char for another playthrough.

        I'm way too far in for that. I'm having fun in any case. Telling a character it's my job to make sure the stars stay in place; stay, good star. may be the best dialogue option I've ever had in an RPG.

          For me, one of the best whole conversations was with the malk and started with the words "No, YOU stop"

      How far are you into it so far?

      I've always looked on Malk & Nosferatu as being the equivalent of a NewGame+ as you'll have a harder time with the story with both, because of the former's insanity (which gets worse as the game progresses) and the latter's obvious lack of human appearance meaning you have to avoid most humans.

      There's nothing stopping you playing and enjoying either as a first character but I feel they're better left till later, the Malk's madness reveals a new perspective on the story you'd have already seen and the Nos is better for playing with the mechanics of the game and focussing on non-social skills.

        I'm just nearing the end of the Hollywood stuff.

          Ooo yeah that's a hell of a long way in. Things will just have to make sense when you play a Toreador or something I guess

            Yeah. I think I'm definitely going to play through again as another clan. I'll let you know how that shapes up compared to playing a Malkavian.

            Also, now I'm even madder that that World of Darkness MMO got canned.

              It might be a blessing in disguise, may well have turned out soulless which would have been kind of appropriate but not fun.

              Hey @DC what clan did you end up picking?


                  Well seduction is about the second most useful skill in the game, next to lockpicking.

                  You're a pretty boy seducing everyone... you didn't name your character @mrtaco did you?

                  @Kermitron I'd say stealth is probably the most useful skill in the game, and by useful I mean catastrophically overpowered. At least in 1.2, when you had your stealth close to full you could just crouch and be practically invisible, backstab everyone and ninja entire levels.

                I have a few points in Stealth and just assumed I was super good at it. :P

                I've installed the unofficial patch (which is on iteration 8.9) so I really have no idea how the game plays normally. I didn't read the entire changelog but apparently it puts back in a lot of unfinished content that was hidden in the source code?

                As for ninja killing everyone, I tend to avoid that. If I don't have to kill them I don't, because I'm not sure how the game handles corpse discovery. For instance in the mission where you steal a suitcase for Fat Larry by sneaking through the vents and sneak out when the gunfight starts, there's one guy I really wanted to shank because he was right in my way but I was worried other guys patrolling would raise the alarm so I agonised over it for about five minutes.

                It's been a long time since the peak of my VTM obsession but this game makes me long for another one just like it. The only think that will keep me for playing it over and over is that the story won't change.

                Also I wish there were more customisation options (hell, you don't even get another change of clothes until 5 hours in when you finally go to Downtown!) but that's a minor gripe since I'm only ever in third-person mode during combat anyway.

              The WoD MMO looked like it was going to be EVE with vampires. A giant 'must be in an Alliance to survive' goonswarmed clusterfuck of non-consensual PVP and permadeath. Griefer's paradise.

              The IP is honestly better off with damn near anyone other than CCP.

                Hard to disagree.

                I feel like Bethesda could do a good adult VTM/WOD game but it might just turn into Fallout with (more) vampires.

                Maybe CD Projekt could set their sights on it once they get Cyberpunk into the wild. The other problem is that the WOD isn't VTM/Werewolf/Hunter/Wraith/Mummy anymore. They did Gehenna and the post-apocalyptic vampire stuff is part of why I lost interest in tabletop RPGing. I think it peaked in the Time of Thin Blood, tbh.

                  Yeah, I played on a couple MUSHes which let you focus far more on the role-playing/storytelling aspect, and they pretty much ignored the Gehenna thing. Wasn't much of a fan of the setting OR rule-set for their 'sell more books again' self reinvention.

                  I dunno... I guess they figured that the prospect of impending doom loses a little of its bite when it's eternally-impending and never happens.

      I'm playing that too. Really digging it. Reminds me of Deus Ex in the best possible way. Cool hub, unique atmosphere. Awesome.

      Yep, it's still broken. The odd thing is the mobile site seems to be working properly.

      But yeah, it's kinda annoying right now that I can't see notifications or anything.

      Last edited 28/04/14 9:28 am

      I played as a Malk the first time through as well but I ran into some glitches on my pirated copy and never really got to enjoy it. I bought the legit steam version and decided to roll Brujah to follow the story, then I'll do subsequent playthroughs as a Nosferatu, Malk, etc. for the different playstyles and experiences. I wonder if you can play as Tremere.

        Yeah, they're pretty good. I ran one of them in one of my many playthroughs of the game

    repost from old Tay:
    Spent some time messing with Infamous' photo mode last night, really makes you appreciate the glorious visuals, I got on a bit of a theme "the last thing you'll ever see" got a series of pics of what it looks like through the eyes of enemies as I smited them.

      I've not played about with it yet, you start it by clicking the left stick don't you? Is it something you can toggle off in the menu? I can imagine triggering it accidently quite frequently

        yes, you have to toggle it on, it's mostly pretty good, the camera does seems to be fixed to an orb around your character so you can only move around so much, is still really cool though, some of the textures are pretty impressive. Even being aware of the stick clicking I accidentally clicked dozens of times.

    Bleh, the cool weather has well and truly come to Brisbane. I guess you could say that winter is... approaching.

    And in the theme of a poor segue, time for a Monday morning game that I like to call Catchphrase Thesaurus. Take a recognisable quote and then trade out one or more words so that it has a similar meaning. For example:

    "Make haste to the choppa!!!"

      In the environment of a vaccuum nobody can hear you scream

      "To be perfectly honest, madam, I'm not bothered one way or the other"

      "Blokes perish if they are slain."

        "Chaps croak when they're killed from losing blood!" - Mako Mankanshoku

    Urg. Back at work after two weeks off.
    Holiday tally: finished Dark Souls 2, rushed Pokémon Platinum to catch all 11 legendaries with Premier balls. That's about it.
    Back on the Monster Hunter bandwagon. Got accelerated to some G rank armour so I don't have to run and hide as much for G rank multi.

    Finished watching Sword Art Online on Saturday
    Vg jnf cerggl bxnl, V rawblrq vg sbe gur svefg 16-vfu rcvfbqrf ohg ubyl fuvg gung raqvat jnf onq. Vg jnf arneyl n shyy ba encr fprar naq gura n oehgny zheqre.V qvqa'g yvxr gung ng nyy. Nyfb vg tbg irel "sna freivpl" irel dhvpxyl. Vg unq irel srj obbo be pebgpu fubgf naq gura fhqqrayl gurl jrer rireljurer. Fb fgenatr.

    Also started watching a few other anime
    I watch the first 2 episodes of "no game No life" It is pretty fucking creepy. However the characters are okay and the art style is pretty awesome. Music is pretty okay too

    Log Horizon
    It seems like a better version of Sword Art Online because the creators understand how MMO's work.

      Sounds like you had a lot of the same issues i had with SAO. Some pretty terrible character assassination in the second arc.

        I think the other problem i had was Alfheim Online had so much potential to be expanded and explained , like the political landscape of all the tribes but instead they chose to fill it with weird crotch shots of his sister.
        also also when kirito changed games and had the same stats pissed me off a fair bit.

          Anyone who's ever programmed anything remotely complicated would get annoyed by that.

          I think *both* settings were way under-expanded in the anime. They probably got a better go in the novels.

      I've been watching No Game No Life with my brother and we're kinda digging it.
      The number of new series that have come out in the last few years with borderline/outright incestuous sibling relationships is really aggravating, so it's very refreshing to see a much healthier symbiotic (albeit co-dependent) one.

      Also, you're probably right about SAO vs Log Horizon re: MMOs, but... I kinda wish there were MMOs that worked more like SAO. Seemed like some pretty cool systems being referenced.

        Aincrad seemed like it played more like a Hunter game than a classic cooldown-based MMO. No healing classes, all the healing's done through items. No classic tanking either, though some of the characters apparently spec toward having heavier armor to mitigate damage, but it doesn't seem like the game had a proper taunt mechanic or anything, it was more about dodging and responding to the enemy tells and stuff.

        Additionally I'm fairly sure the world had to be procedural. Small development team and an enormous game that took months (years?) for players to clear it halfway, and each level seemed like it was a fairly large world as well.

        I'd be a pretty cool game to actually play if it existed, I think. And you weren't trapped in it by a crazy guy who set the world to Hardcore Mode.

        Unrelatedly, enjoying No Game No Life a lot as well.

    For anyone that's interested or doesn't already have it Don't Starve is 66% off (that's $5.09USD) on Steam for the next 66 hours. Have at it.


    Only 9 days to go. This is crunch time.

    DARK SOULS 2 All Achievements Update

    Guvf vf nyy V arrq gb svavfu gur npuvrirzragf.

    Ahzoarff (Ebggra AT+ fbhy genqr)
    Pyvznk (Qnex Pbiranag Enax 3)
    Yvsrqenva Cngpu (Qnexyhexre fbhy genqr)

    Obhagvshy Fhayvtug (Oyhr Fragvary Enax 3 be Jryyntre AT++)
    Jengu bs gur Tbqf (Oyhr Fragvary Enax 2 be Jryyntre AT++)
    Oyvaqvat Obyg (Fgenvq fnyr va AT+)

    Terng Punbf Sveronyy (Oebgureubbq bs Oybbq Enax 3 be Jryyntre AT++)
    Punbf Fgbez (arrq gb svaq va Veba Xrrc)
    Synzr Jrncba (Ybfg Fvaare AT+ fbhy genqr)

    Pelfgny Fbhyfcrne (Serwn AT+ fbhy genqr)
    Uvqqra Jrncba (Oryy Xrrcref Enax 2)

    Vg'f zber jbex guna vg ybbxf, gubhtu. V arrq gb trg gb Qenatyrvp va AT++, orpnhfr V qba'g guvax V'yy or enaxvat hc zber guna 1000 CiC xvyyf va gur Fragvaryf naq Oybbq Oebguref. Nyfb arrq gb gbccyr gur Qnex Punfzf, naq gurl ybbx GBHTU.

      I haven't de-rot13'd any of that, but the part that starts with URK amuses me.

      See, even when offline, I ran with the Bell-keeper covenant for ages, not really knowing what it did (but pretty much suspecting it to be the new forest hunter's) and managed to rank up without even realizing it. I think the NPC phantoms in Belfry Sol/Luna count. A few ascetics could see you getting that one.

      Otherwise, I haven't started any further on my achievement run. Darklurker wasn't too bad, although definitely one of the harder fights in the entire game. (Ancient Dragon kept one-shotting me with fire-breath the two times I took it on, so to knock that one over I'm going to at least de-populate the run to it, which is annoying and exhausting.)

      My brother's been tying up the PS3 with Dynasty Warriors 8 and the media server for anime, so it's likely you'll get platinum before me. :)

        I had a few goes at Darklurker, then decided I was done with Dark Souls 2 for a while. I had the wrong equipment / build / play style, so unless exceptionally blessed by the RNG gods, I wasn't going to beat it without major changes.

    My little boy is teething. I had almost no good sleep over the weekend. Mrs Quiz and I managed to play a bit of Mass Effect 3. I bought the Leviathan DLC for her playthrough, as I had never bought it myself.

    Everything makes far more sense now, including the ending.

    However (since TAY is apparently still a little screwy, Rot13'd)

    Jura gur yrivnguna gnyxf nobhg ubj gur vagryyvtrapr perngrq gur erncref gb ybbx yvxr gurz orpnhfr gurl jrer gur ncrk yvsrsbez va gur havirefr fbzrguvat pyvpxrq. Va Znff Rssrpg 2, erzrzore ubj gur erncre ybbxrq uhzna? GUNG vf ubj zhpu bs n guerng gung gur vagryyvtrapr naq Uneovatre guvax lbh ner. Gurl abj guvax gung Uhznaf ner gur ncrk perngherf bs gur tnynkl, abg yrivngunaf. Ubyl fuvg.

    Nyfb, "Rnpu uneirfg raqf jvgu gur ovegu bs n erncre". Fb bar jvcr bhg bs yvsr va n 50,000 plpyr raqf jvgu bar erncre. Jr'ir xvyyrq gjb - Fbirervta naq Uneovatre. Jr jvcrq bhg 100,000 lrnef bs yvsr orsber gur svefg erncref ynaqrq ba Rnegu. Fb, pbafvqrevat ubj znal gurer ner...guvf plpyr unf orra tbvat sbe zvyyvbaf hcba zvyyvbaf bs lrnef.

    Nyfb yrivngunaf ybbx xvaqn qhzo.

      Been noticing a few posts with this seemingly gibberish language lately. Did I miss something?

        Spoiler tags are broken. Before they were created, we used ROT13 to talk about spoilery things. It can be decoded at

        Since Kotaku is having difficulty with spoiler tags, we've been using a cypher called Rot13.
        You can copy and paste gibberish into this website: and vice versa - if you want to post a spoiler, you can put it there and it will cypher it.

        We're just being nice and protecting things from sensitive eyes. :)

      Gb or snve... lbh qba'g npghnyyl xvyy Uneovatre va ZR2, whfg uvf guenyyf.

        Wait a second, I thought you did. Well, kinda.
        Vs lbh oybj hc gur pbyyrpgbe onfr, V fjrne gur raq pvarzngvp unf Uneovatre qlvat.

          Vg jnfa'g. Ur fnvq ng gur raq orsber gur ovt onat, "Eryrnfvat pbageby" naq lbh gura frr gur pbyyrpgbe orvat nyy pbashfrq naq qvfbevragrq.

            Argh. You're right.
            1 down, 65 sqajillion to go.

      Re: all your ROT13'd stuff? Yes. And yes, it did make the ending make a lot more sense.

      I really don't understand the Internet Hate for the ME3 ending.
      So many people complain it was, 'Pick a different colour' with no different result, but that is the height of willful ignorance to think they were 'the same'. In fact, it's not just ignorance, it's blind idiocy. I mean for fuck's sake, when the results of your options are:
      1) Gur ureb zretrf nyy ovbybtvpny yvsr jvgu flagurgvp yvsr npebff gur ragver tnynkl, jvgu nyy gur znff erynlf erfgberq va fubeg beqre naq n arj ntr bs crnpr naq haqrefgnaqvat naq qrirybczrag
      2) N tnynkl-fcnaavat pvivyvmngvba vf oebxra - creuncf creznaragyl - vagb vfbyngrq cbpxrgf bs cynargf/flfgrzf, znal bs juvpu ner ABG vaqrcraqragyl fhfgnvanoyr, rkvfgvat cheryl sbe Erynl-onfrq ybtvfgvpf, jvgu gur ohyx bs fragvrag fcnprsnevat pragenyvmrq va bar erfbhepr-fpnepr flfgrz, qbbzrq gb snyy vagb enpvny senpgvbhfarff, rffragvnyyl xabpxvat tnynpgvp pvivyvmngvba onpx gb n eryngvir fgbar-ntr.

      who in their right fucking mind could consider those two results anything even REMOTELY similar?

      The ONLY thing these endings have in common was ALWAYS going to be the same by any reasonable expectations:
      1) Gur pvgnqry jnf gevttrerq, oybjvat hc gur erynlf.
      2) Gur erncref fgbccrq qrfgeblvat rirelguvat.
      3) Furcneq qvrq, fb nf abg gb or hfnoyr va nal frdhryf.

      People complained that 'their choices didn't matter' which is part true, part bullshit. True, your choices don't matter in the context of a life-span. If you get diagnosed with a terminal disease and are given three months to live, it doesn't really matter what choices you make, in three months time you're going to be in the same place in the same situation, no matter what you do.

      If you wanna get nihilistic, 'your choices don't matter' is the ultimate truth no-one wants to confront. No-one's going to fucking remember you and your hopes and dreams and personality quirks in a hundred years let alone a thousand. Even the greatest minds or villains of history are relegated to a series of bullet-point facts and trivia pieces, we don't actually know the dreams and feelings of those history-makers. You? You've got fucking Buckley's. So no, your choices don't matter, in that context.

      But seriously? How could anyone play ME3 and not realize that the entire game is the end? 75% of the side-quests were pulled from your choices in 1 & 2, and how could anyone NOT complete those and see the invisible loose ends being tied up? If the entire trilogy is one story, ME1 is the beginning, ME2 is the middle, ME3 is the end. It's so very clear and obvious.

      Complaints about the 'star child' are so reminiscent of complaints about The Architect from The Matrix. People hated him, too, and thought his introduction was contrived, but in reality is the only reason so much of the previously-introduced elements make any kind of sense at all. They just felt blind-sided.

      No. ME3's ending was only 'pick a card, any card' if you didn't give a shit about the galaxy, just which breed of Quarian/Turian hybrid babies you got to have, or the utterly naive idea that somehow they could 'rah rah sentient powah!' win the impossible final battle without the use of the macguffin by the sheer virtue of having pluck and courage. So fucking Hollywood, people can no longer accept any tastes other than poisonously saccharine.

      Some people might not have liked that you could go back to a previous save and get a different result, feeling that their end-result should have been tailored exclusively to their paragon/renegade major choices with more than a few possible results, but I have a feeling that not being able to see a different ending without playing an entirely different way across a trilogy probably wouldn't have play-tested very well or been well-received, either. To call those dramatically different endings 'the same' is as outright untrue as it's possible for any statement to be.

        What you said, 100%. The entire series is Lovecraftian. Lovecraftian (from H.P. Lovecraft, best known for Cthulhu) wasn't about giant beasts/monters.

        Lovecraftian horror was about mankind facing something so enormous, so powerful, so damn indifferent to their beliefs and dreams that hope is instantly vanquished.

        That's what made Shepard powerful. Shepard kept going, and going and going despite the overwhelming odds. Shepard got things done. At the end, Shepard is given one last choice. A chance to "get it done". But courage, pluck, luck and planning had nothing to do with it. It was Shepard's ability to keep on going that got him/her to the point where something could be done.

        As far as sci-fi goes, the ending is fine. I agree about the Internet Hate. The journey is what mattered, not the outcome.

    Morning errbody hope everyone's long weekend was good and relaxing!

    I ended up beating both inFamous second son and Professor Layton vs Ace Attourney (arguabley my handheld GOTY so far) also movies so many movies ended up seeing The Other Woman which is a very funny comedy I feel people should see as well as Devil Due which is not so funny, that ones more of a B rated horror using found footage style.

    Other than that my weekend was filled with my girlfriend being super secretive planning something for my birthday this week, I only know that much because my brother let me know he couldn't make it to it even though I had no idea anything was going on.

    A question in the style of @redartifice what's your favourite cake?

      It's too hard to choose between a huge gooey cheesecake or a rich chocolate mud cake.

      Hopefully going to see The Other Woman with my wife this week, we've also got advance screenings of Bad Neighbours starting this weekend, pretty keen on seeing that too, it looks really funny.

      Also, A Million Ways To Die In The West is coming out at the end of May which looks good. An interesting tidbit that you might not all know is that Christopher Lloyd is in it (not sure if it's just a cameo) as wait for it... Dr. Emmett Brown.

      Last edited 28/04/14 9:17 am

        Jealous of your advance screening of Bad Neighbours, that's the Zac Efron Seth Rogan movie isn't it?

        I'm holding out for Million Ways To Die In The West

      Cloud Cake.
      It's a heavy chocolate cake, so heavy that when you bake it it collapses in the middle.

      THEN you whip up cream with Cointreu and chocolate and dump this giant mass of white orgasmic yumminess in the middle of the cake in the hole.

      LOOK AT IT:

      EDIT: changed link because the one I provided didn't have the white yumminess in the middle.

      Last edited 28/04/14 9:16 am

        I did work at a foodies house who makes her own cakes and asked us to try one of her recipes she made, Black Forest cloud cake the thing was delicious!

      Beefcake. Nah, just kidding. It's cherry slice.

        Never had cherry slice, does it taste like cherry ripe?

          Much, much more cherry-ish; a chocolate top layer, a biscuit crumb bottom layer and sometimes a sprinkling of coconut flakes. Heaven.

      I'm not a giant fan of cakes, personally. Maybe it's the American in me but I've always preferred pie (cherry, apple, key-lime, etc) to cake.

        I think it's more because pie is amazing and superior to cake.

          I'm also reliably informed that it will put a smile on your face 10 miles wide, AND looks so good it will bring a tear to your eye.


        How do you feel about lemon & coconut? That's the best cheesecake I make. That and raspberry & white chocolate but that one is fiddly as all hell to get just right

          I don't care for coconut at the best of times but I gots no problem with lemon. :P

      I just make cakes =P

      I like sponge.

        Your B-mo (I dunno if I even spelt that right) cake was delicious so your response still counts

      Fruit cake

        Haven't had one in years, I think the last one I threw up from to he honest.

        Side note how are the tigs going with the mini tig?

      Gotta be either pavlova or tiramisu.

      Edit: ooh, yeah. My Nanna made killer fruitcakes.

      Last edited 28/04/14 1:01 pm

        I make a mean tiramisu that has been known to make people become over the limit

          Haha, I think my aunt's tiramisu puts you over the limit just by breathing while near it. So good.

      PL Vs PW is also my Portable GOTY so far. It's story was brilliant, and the gameplay was just so brilliant :D

    When is Kotaku going to be fixed? The View Profile button just has Log In and there's nothing in the Across Our Network section.

      Using the direct link will let you into your profile to check notifications at least.

    The plot synopsis for the Goosebumps movie has been revealed.

    Probably the best way they could have done it.

      Casting Jack Black is either going to make or break that movie for me.

      Eh, I saw these books as more serious than comedic when I read them. (Then again, I also misread the tone of Maniac Mansion. :P) This movie isn't for me any way, so I'm not going to get upset.

      Last edited 28/04/14 9:38 am

        They were childrens horror imo & Jack Black can play a serious role IF need be. He can be quite good at it.

      Yeah, that sounds great. I'll probably go and watch it when it eventually comes out.

      That actually does sound like fun. If they pull it off I might actually be interested in seeing it.

      I never really got into the Goosebumps books, by the time they were popular they were aimed at a younger demographic to me.

      Come to think of it, that almost sounds like a kids version of Cabin in the Woods ...

        To me it seems a little like the Scooby Doo movies and that ain't a compliment, amplified exaggeration of what made the source material so good. :(

        Last edited 28/04/14 9:49 am

      If anything, it'll be great to see all the classic Goosebumps monsters again in one movie.

      I suspect Slappy the dummy will make a big appearance. He always seemed to be the most popular character.

      (Though I also kind of agree with DC in that it doesn't sound much like a kids horror movie - but then I don't know how they're going to frame it. One of the big themes that I really hope they keep was the whole "my parents don't believe me" angle which was really the main thing that made the stories scary for me as a kid :P)

      Wait wait wait

      There's a Goosebumps movie?? I don't know how to feel about this. Multiple thoughts:
      -This reminds me that I never finished book #3, 'the first one with the demon camera. I still have the book somewhere.
      -I remember the Horrorland series was freaking amazing. Cramming all the villains into one universe was great.
      -I wonder what villains they can cram in there? Slappy the doll? The Haunted Mask?

    Double comment, stupid comment bugs...

    Last edited 28/04/14 9:35 am

    The Walking Dead 2x03 achievements are viewable on Steam. Hopefully that means a release is imminent. :D

      I saw the achievements were up on Saturday and immediately jumped in. So disappointed the episode wasn't up yet. :(

      I'm glad that they seem to be getting episodes out sooner now. Or.. at least balancing them better between Wolf Among Us and Walking Dead so the wait doesn't seem as long.

        I told myself like three weeks ago to actually buy Wolf Among Us for exactly that reason, but for some reason I never did. I'll have a word with me about that later.

          Don't be too hard on the guy!

          If you're getting it on PS3, hurry up while it's on the Easter sale. I'm pretty sure that ends veryveryvery soon.

    Morning, TAY!

    I had a decent weekend. Even though I didn't do anything. Polished off Dark Souls 2 and then immediately started a new game (not New Game Plus) with a melee character. Breezed through the first few areas and was feeling really good, then got to Lost Bastille and the Ruin Sentinels again and went "I'm not going through this again" and gave up. Done with it for now :P

    Dark Souls side note: I finally got my awesome-looking Poison Butterfly 'armour' before finishing the game. Makes you float around! And, as I discovered... poisons people close by. I accidentally killed the blacksmith while talking to him :\

    So after that, I got the urge to start playing Zelda Skyward Sword again. Started up a new Hero Mode save file. Man, I love this game. Easily my favourite Zelda. Hero Mode is difficult too! Enemies take more hits and deal out stronger hits and there are no hearts laying around. Got to rely on potions/fairies. Actually makes it a lot harder than I thought! Can no longer heal in the middle of boss fights by just running around. The first boss kicked my ass. It's actually quite similar to a Dark Souls boss fight in a lot of ways. you have to learn how to dodge each one of his attacks and learn his patterns. Can't just fudge your way through it constantly healing yourself with hearts laying around :P

    Also: I broke my most-favourited, most-retweeted tweet record last night. I'm finally popular!


    My insomnia / difficulty sleeping is almost at the point where I want to see a doctor about it. Like... after a 4th night in a row of barely any productive sleep (maybe 2 hours last night?) I lay there in bed with my alarm going off and thought "maybe today will be the day I see a doctor about this"

    And then got up and went to work.

      Aw, that ain't good. I had a bout of insomnia last year and it's the worst, man. Definitely see a doctor!

        I've had difficulty sleeping for years. The biggest problem for me is that it's cyclic so as soon as I get to the point where I'm falling over from exhaustion it self corrects and I'm fine for the next however long. In theory.

        I'm also averse to anything seeing a doctor might do for me. I tend to be very "anti" medication and if possible I'd like to stay away from that path. We'll see.

          Sleeping pills aren't that fun either. I had the weirdest thoughts when on sleeping pills and one time I woke up with a bloody lip and no explanation. Haha!

            That's one of my biggest worries actually! I know there's a lot of side effects associate with things like that, and monkeying with brain chemistry just doesn't sit right by me.

      I'm sitting in the doctors waiting room now for that (amongst many others).

        Good man! Hat Trick!!

        Unless it's not for psych help. Then that's still good but for different reasons

        Ask the doctor if he can also cure Kotaku would you?

        Last edited 28/04/14 11:46 am

    Hello TAY!

    I had a pretty okay weekend. Helped my brother move house which was ... something. Besides that, I played a bit of Kingdom Hearts re:Chain of Memories and decided I couldn't deal with the padding anymore. I'm hoping that 358/2 days isn't terrible!


    Defender Of The Crown is getting an Android port!

    I'm going to catapult ALL the diseased dead horses!

      Oh man that brings back so many memories of playing it on the ST when I was a kid.

        It's weird how jealous I was of people who had an ST because the keyboard was just so much more stylish. I always wanted to get an ST case and put my Amiga's guts in it

          Man, we totally had that ST pimped out. HARD DRIVE, oh yeah, that's right. All 40MB worth. And I recall we even had a serial cable link up or some kind so we could play multiplayer on some stunt racing game across 2 STs.

          My Dad was a technophile.

            Stunt Car Racer? I always wanted to play that multiplayer but never had the cable. It was one of the few games that had cross-platform multiplayer too

    All I did this weekend was watch season 5 of Archer and play Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines.

    My boss is back from a month-long holiday/overseas secondment and the entire team had quick 1 on 1 catch-ups with him. Since two people are leaving this week (one is taking a career break for family reasons, the other is a contractor who has taken a permanent role elsewhere) so his discussion with me was mainly "You're not leaving? Great, it's going to be a challenging few months" though his wording was more along the lines of "after EOFY renewals are out of the way there's going to be opportunities for development".

    So if you know any experienced claims handlers in Sydney who might be suitable for a role in liability, I get a finder's fee if I refer someone and they pass probation. :P

    Hola TAY

    I had a good weekend- Pub Thursday night, went to a mates house for four PS3 gaming on Friday, then a quiet Saturday and Sunday. We played a bunch of Uncharted 3 MP, some Diablo 3 (works surprisingly well on PS3), some Last of Us and some Borderlands.

    A Monday Morning Question: What game needs a (non-tacked-on) multiplayer? inb4 Fallout co-op

      Xenoblade three player co-op!

      @greenius @novacascade

        Huh. Could probably work as an MMO.

          I'd prefer a drop-in/drop-out system where the co-opers just take over as a party character. That way you can still have a great single player story progression without any MMO stuff :P

          Hopefully that's what XenUblade on the WiiU turns out like.

            Yeah, I was just thinking that a lot of the way the game is designed is kinda like a single player MMO already. Areas, quests, NPCs, monsters. Not as much as Amalur, but the framework is there.

            Did you ever play Secret of Mana (Seiken Densetsu?) 3 on SNES? It had the same party system - Control a party of three one at a time The other two controlled by AI, but a second player (and third with a multitap) could take over and control them as well.

        I found Xenoblade tabs/sheet music! I've been waiting years for someone to make them (I tried but failed :P).

        Got Agniratha (Night) on piano and Those Who Bear the Name and Mechanical Rhythm guitar tabs :D

      I would kill for some more Portal 2-style coop instead of just being together as you kill waves of enemies kind of coop. True cooperation with puzzles that need both people to work out and talk through.

      Ass Creed 4 should have had a multiplayer mode with ships, Naval combat was done right in that one.

        Isn't that what they have planned for unity/comet/whatever

      A portal 2 style co-op version of mark of the ninja.
      By that I mean entirely new levels that can't be done alone, with all the objective, hidden objects and challenge objectives

      Dark Souls.
      What it does right now is NOT co-op. It's ships passing in the night with strangers, MAYBE a friend if you get the planets to align/dick about with putting your signs in the right spot/maintain the same level ranges/join the right covenant/wear the right-god-customized ring. Unfortunately, with a friend handy I think you'd lose a lot of the sense of oppression that Dark Souls is so good at beating into you.

      Dragon's Dogma.
      EPIC boss-fights, clambering all over four-storey-tall monsters would be so much better in a team (though I guess they already have Monster Hunter, which is co-op I think?) who didn't suck like your pawns do, and can be given more direction than attack/run away/heal me.

      The Elder Scrolls VI.
      NOT the fucking MMO. That's not a co-op multiplayer game, that's a boring-ass same-as-fucking-every-other-MMO with a Skyrim coat of paint. No, I mean like... small-party, persistent shared world with the same freedom of exploration/levelling instead of that class-locked, can-only-loot-random-shit, twaddle.

      Mass Effect / Dragon Age.
      One of the best things about playing SWTOR with a regular co-op partner is that the stories are just so heavily enhanced by the presence and random input of another character with a different personality, sometimes even at odds. If any major, deep, rich RPG with a ME/DA cinematic, grand scope could handle and evolve that mechanic in depth, integral to the story rather than a tacked-on bonus co-op, it would be unprecedented. That's what 'social' gaming should be, not 'hassle your facebook friends to join this marketing program'.

    Good Morning all! I hope you all had a good weekend.
    edit: Spoilering out the website angst

    Last edited 28/04/14 10:01 am

    Because I cannot reply >:( Let's see if this works.


    Yeah, the Belfry phantoms count. There's one who spawns randomly (but infinitely) in Belfry Sol. I'm not getting summoned for fights, so I'm just farming him offline (he spawns around 1 in 5 times, and is a fairly simple kill). By my estimation, I need to take him down about 8 more times.

    Any tips for the Dark Covenant stuff? I've watched some Youtube vids of it, and it looks pretty brutal. Not much room for dodging, and facing multiple strong enemies at the same time.

      I cleared the whole thing by kiting them one at a time, and smashing them with the pursuer's greatsword since it always staggers them. But the Darklurker AOE dark magic pretty much one shot me every time it was fired, so I went back to Pokémon.

      No reply, eh? Are you deleting the 's' out of the default https the site gives you? It comes good for me after doing that, upvotes available, replies available, etc. Weird.
      Anyway, re: Dark Covenant...

      Two of the three areas I didn't have many problems with taking on the phantoms + glowy thing. The glowy thing is actually a glass cannon, so taking it out early if you can risk exposing yourself to the phantoms? Worth doing. Otherwise, it's pretty similar to any random PVP fight against multiple enemies, only they're not as smart/using OP best-in-slot gear/combos. I think the only area that gave me trouble was the one in the castle proper. I left that one til last because it had the closest bonfire, so I could run back to the boss again after dying. In that area, the Havel Clone kept owning me completely for some reason, and I fell in to the holes a lot, when backing up. The only real solution was to bring a strong shield, plenty of stam, and be very, very, very, very patient. He didn't use any of the attacks which leave him open for ages, so it was a 'chip away' fight. Poison arrows early on (IF YOU CAN LAND THEM) worked pretty well, but I found I was pretty gumby at putting the bow away/switching to sword&board, so it often wasn't worth the risk. Poison and arrows worked really well on the chick closest to the fog gate, though. Headshot city, keep 'em staggered.

      The boss... Hm. Gave me some trouble. It turns out the giant magic death orbs laugh at even Havel's shield and are undodgeable. Just TRYING to dodge/sprint away is a bad idea, because if you get away from them, they will detonate with an AoE behind you, doing even more damage than if you'd blocked them head-on. Even a partial block can be bad if they get behind you, so it's best to try and face them as head-on as possible. Also, I died at least once discovering that he can cast them behind himself, through his own body. So. Omnidirectional, too. Bring the highest magic-resist shield you can find, I think there's a 100 one out there. The fire attack is easy enough to dodge if you run sideways, and is telegraphed early; it's the magic you gotta worry about.

      Staying close enough to bait him into using melee is pretty effective when he's solo. Roll to behind/his right, don't block - his melee is enhanced with magic attack as well, and has a grab/impale that ignores block, so rolling's best if you can.
      Eventually (I think it's health-based, not time-based) he splits into two and it's pain time.
      Shared health bar, no individual kill (like the gargoyles) to make the fight easier. My 'kill tactic' was to equip a magic ring to get some powerful pyromancy (I had like... 4 att) then use that giant delayed explosion fireball when it started splitting. It does a lot of damage because of their shared bar - it hits both of them, so basically double damage, did like a third of the total bar's damage, leaving me to only have to dodge/wear a few magic hits from one while I meleed the other to finish. Too slow to use twice, unless you've pumped up att, so timing is critical. Also, after splitting, they fly apart to put some distance between each other to double-team you from either side.

      Even on my kill, I almost died thanks to the clone hitting me with melee after the 'you are victorious' message. Be careful.

      I really had to rank up in player skill for that fight. Couldn't afford to heal much - being in melee gives you practically no time at all, and being at range means you're going to wear some magic damage, even if you block. And that was with the boosted estus speed of being at 50 dex/adp. So… good luck. You can probably make life easier for yourself by depopulating an easier-to-clear phantom fight instead of worrying about which area is closest to a bonfire.

        Good advice, man.

        Re: Kotaku, yep, took out the "s", but still getting tonnes of failed comments. Seems to happen more often for replies. Work computers use IE8 so between Kotaku and here, it's probably a perfect storm of circumstances for failure.

        I'm currently investigating mage builds, and think I can create a real powerhouse sorcerer with not much extra effort (just need to upgrade some equipment and destroy a couple of ascetic bosses for additional items). Wisdom on the intertubes suggests this makes the area easier.

        Last edited 30/04/14 11:26 am

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