Rock Simulator 2014 Will Bring EA, Activision To Their Knees

Rock Simulator 2014 Will Bring EA, Activision To Their Knees

"For a long time, there has been one game missing from the market", reads the introduction to my new favourite Steam Greenlight project. "A genuine rock simulator."

This simulator is a rock enthusiasts dream. You can watch beautiful rocks in any location in the world. From grass plains to salt flats, there are dozens of hand designed BEAUTIFUL environments.

Which sounds just lovely. But what I'm really interested to see is what the modding community can do with this blank canvas. I'm expecting a Skyrim mod. Or something with anime boobs.

Rock Simulator [Steam]

Rock Simulator 2014 Will Bring EA, Activision To Their Knees


    Multiplayer is broken. Wait for the first patch.

      Multiplayer is working as intended. All players just need to come over and watch from your screen. The real gameplay begins with who gets control over the rock.

      Last edited 27/06/14 8:11 am


    I hope someone mods this game to first person.

    For Christ's sake!! Grasslands? Artic Tundra? Mojave Desert? They're the same rock! Doesn't anybody notice this?? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

    This has to be a joke right? Or has EA finally destroyed itself?

    needs more rocks...

      its ROCK simulator. not ROCKS simulator. you're asking too much.

      Last edited 27/06/14 8:46 am

      The devs had plans for a multiple rock feature but it would have doubled their production costs.

    I'd better be able to grow moss, or I can't even see the point in this!

      Moss is the first DLC. Erosion is the second DLC or you get both with a season pass.

        If you just want your rock to look better you can buy some googley eyes and felt tongues from the in-game store.

    I think the biggest thing is making sure the story is there. The rock or rocks have to have relatable personalities, a strong character arc. If they can nail that, then the rest will follow and they have a hit on their hands.

      Hopefully it won't cost too much for them to code the extra animations for the female rocks.

    But can we choose to be a female rock?

      No, it would cost too much to make both male and female rocks.....

    Where's the Basalt rock? Why are we always so under-represented in games? Does it take twice the development time to implement the models, animation and voice acting or something?

    I like the idea of a game kinda like Burnout with boulders - where basically you aim then roll a big boulder into a town/city and try to smash as much as you can with minimal control gaining points for the more carnage you do... Boulder through virtual Las Vegas/London/Wherever Call it Angry Birdsout... or like BoulderOut or like.... Attack of the Killer Rock... or something. Next step - Print cash!


    Maybe a rock stacking game... get loads of different rocks, have to make biggest pillar of rocks you can. Balancing them. Call it Balance Rock... or Pillar Of Rock... or like ... Rocky Buildboa. Once you get into earths orbit - you win.... a real life rock or something.


    like a game where Adam Sandler falls in love with a girl but it turns out that she is like ... a golden retriever .. or something.

    Last edited 27/06/14 9:27 am

      Theres a game similar to your first option on mobile. Giant Boulder of death or something..

        Downloading it now ... it has over a million downloads... MY IDEA HAD MERIT DAMMIT IT HAD JUST BEEN DONE BEFORE.

        Last edited 27/06/14 9:58 am

    It's a boulder game concept than most FPS these days

    Oh it's on Greenlight. I thought it was only a stone's throw away from release.

    It will be refused classification in Australia due to "rock" being a euphemism for certain drugs.

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