Talk Amongst Yourselves

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    Morning all!

    I've been playing Enslaved: Odyssey to the West. @dc's reputation is on the line. I'm up to Chapter Nine now, and so far, it's a solid game. Nothing particularly exceptional (though I do like the setting) at this stage, but nothing that's bugging me either. Though reading reviews may have built up my expectations of the story a little too much, I'm enjoying it. Trip is real purdy.

      I was going to warn you that the story on its own isn't any thing mind blowing. It's the sum of all parts and the charm and character and character dynamic and all that. The sense of place with the world, etc.

      Last edited 02/06/14 12:05 pm

        It's one of those games I always meant to get around to one day, feels like it'd fit into my 'solid 70 percenter' bracket where it'd be okay if it wasn't spectacular as long as it had enough redeeming features to keep me entertained for a day or 2.

        Character dynamic is a good selling point though, that was one of the things I liked the most about Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time (well that and everything else about the game since it was pretty much perfection and style incarnate at the time)

    Good morning, TAYshine. The Earth says 'Hello'

      I read that and then heard it in Leonard Nimoy's voice.

        Keep watching the skis.

            Great, now I can't look away. There goes all productivity.

    Guten Morgen TAYbies. How vas your veekend?

    Mine vasn't too exciting. Lots of vork, und a little bit of ze Vatch Hunds.

    Also, found out zis morning zat I am an uncle again. Wunderbar!

      Been playing Wolfenstein?

        That would be the one game above all others that I would expect to discourage people from putting on a German accent.

        Nein! Zis is what happens ven I only have 5 hours sleep.

        Although, I need to get back into zat.

      Wunderbar! Vhen is the little schmootsnbraugh due?

      My veekend was good I picked up a nintendo Vii U, have yet to do anything vith it.

      All W's are now V's

      Last edited 02/06/14 8:46 am

        I'm imagining it would have been a good week for the Wii U ( I hope), I picked one up too and so far it's pretty great, played the hell outta Mario Kart and Pikmin 3. I hope you get some quality time in with your new toy soon :D

          I has the terrible vifi zats vhy I've had no time to play games on it

            and good old Nintendo won't let you use a regular ethernet cable, no you gotta fork out for a special nintendo one :(

              There is such a thing?! Tell me more

                not 100%, need to research, there's only a usb port, I've read that you can't just use any adapter,

          @gutsoup what is Pikmin 3 like? I had it in my hands at JB yesterday but chickened out :(

            have you played any of the others? It's pretty much more of the same but that is fine by me, it's a very beautiful game too. Very good game. Also if you don't know already you can get a free game when you buy Mario Kart, so you could get it free :D

            Last edited 02/06/14 12:07 pm

              I've not played any of the others before, I purchased a wii u last week and the concept of the game sounds really cool so thought I should have a go. I'm tossing up between Pikmin 3 and the new Zelda with the free game, decisions!!!

                hmm, tough call, I'd played through the Wind Waker already so it was always going to be my choice. Pikmin is pretty unique though, if it clicks with you you'll get your moneys worth though.

    I, uh, might've woke up with a plate of food next to me.

    I might or might've not proceeded to eat said food immediately upon waking up.

    I'm an adult.

    Morning all

    Hopefully this is the week where finances get under control. Also I've kicked myself up the ass with exercise and diet after the bathroom scales were mean to me so running every night. 4km done last night in intervals. Hopefully by next month I can be running the whole thing.

    Gaming, making progress with 100%ing inFamous, just have the evil playthrough to do and I'll've platinumed my first game. Slow but steady progress with Wolfenstein as well. Medieval 2 playthrough, the English have almost wiped the French off the map, next target is the Milanese.

    Finally, less than 2 weeks until the World Cup XD my sleeping pattern is going to be non-existent throughout it all

      Nice work, I'd have just thrown the scales away. :P

      Oh, also have you booked 70K yet? Are you still planning on going? We've decided to try and make it again so we're crossing our fingers taxtime is good to us. But yeah, if you haven't booked yet don't forget to use my promo code (GHQGBOQOKM) to get us some onboard credit to buy you drinks with. ;)

      Last edited 02/06/14 9:14 am

        tbh it's not been in my mind. On a mission to clear all of my debt by year's end so have put off Bloodstock this year :-( 70,000 could be a possibility though and likewise, if tax return is kind then I don't see why we can't go. There's already more than enough bands that I love playing so it's just the money side of things. Plus if we go to Florida a trip to Disneyworld would have to be factored into it :D After today/tomorrow when we find out how much of a payout the missus gets from her old job then I'll be in a much better position to say yay or nay

        On a sidenote, we've been tempted to get on the roof of the Tempo and cut down the Gloryhammer flag poster that's still up. Apparently the company who ran the Tempo has gone into receivership so no idea what's happening with it

          It's probably somehow illegal so I can't condone grabbing it, but GRAB IT! :P

          Oh man, I've lost count of how many people after the tour was over said to me they'd finally listed to Gloryhammer and loved them. They sure missed out on something special with that tour. Oh well, maybe everyone will listen to me more often, now. :P

            I only got into them cos you mentioned them from last year's cruise and then Liz got a bit obsessive with them :D hahaha People never listen to me about bands though :(

            Had a quick squiz at the tickets and a lot of the cheaper cruise tickets have gone. I think we'd be waiting for tax time as well though. There's 4 person room for $999 each that seems to be the cheapest atm but it'd be a month or two before we can think about booking anyway. Hopefully not too long that it sells out

              Yeah, we're hoping there's no more band announcements before mid-July just in case it drives sales up. :P

    Got some solid knitting in over the weekend. Still got a lot to go. Hoping to also start on armour too.
    It's June, starting to feel the panic rise.

      Genetically engineer 2 more arms, then you can knit both ends of a thing at once and meet in the middle!

      Of course you'd need to change all your shirts first to accommodate the extra arms. Perhaps cloning would be more practical

        cloning sounds like a good option

          You could start a Scree Cosplay Warehouse, providing cloned cosplay artisans for a reasonable price

            Oh man, all the mental breakdowns!

              In the distance people will hear an anguished chorus shouting "I can't find the exact wool!!"

                I can't find the exact shade of turquoise!

    I'm terrible at this responsible finances thing.
    Bought Mario Kart on the weekend (couldn't pass up the $52 Big Dubya deal), even though I'm terrible at racing and will only enjoy it if there's some decent battle arena DLC.
    I then proceeded to play Monster Hunter instead of Mario Kart. Finished the G rank key quests, got uncapped and now I'm level 44!

      Good job!

      Good job!

      You have surpassed me now D: (I still want to know what my uncapped rank will be!).

        Any weekend you want to knock over those key quests, I'll happily join in and smash some monsters.
        Probably struggled the most with randoms dying on the deviljho. Stygian zingore was pretty nasty as well. Final urgent quest boss was ... interesting.
        Looking forward to some of the 8+ stuff now like making the gold rathian set.

    Good morning all. Hope you all had a good weekend. I did some stuff on the weekend and it was pretty good. Except for Dark Souls 2.

    Shpx lbh Fzrygre Qrzba.

      Hop online for a bit and grab the latest patch for that guy. Apparently he got nerfed a fair bit.

        I have the patch downloaded. Still got my arse handed to me because of a Dex build that didn't provide me many options against him and the fact that I was getting stupid and frustrated as I kept dying to him. Also getting invaded and killed as I was going back to fight him, losing about 70 K souls was a kick in the nads.

          Ew, invasion lost is a kick in the nads alright. I highly recommend running around with the ring of life protection, whatever it's called. When you die it breaks and costs 3k to repair, but you keep your stuff. Invaluable when you're running around with tens of thousands of souls.

            This. I pretty much didn't take it off for my entire playthrough (except for when I was co-opping as a phantom in someone else's world, because there's no penalty for dying there). There are also several of them strewn around the world, which means you don't have to go back to Majula after every death; just equip the next ring. By the time I reached NG++, I had four of them, which was more than enough to get me through any area.

          That last sentence is exactly why I haven't bothered to touch my copy of Dark Souls II. That's basically exactly what killed the previous game for me too.

    There are 3 anime that changed the lives of characters via transport accidents with ghostly consequence: magi madoka a character who lay dying due to crash organised by KYYYUUUBBBEEEYY turned her into a magical girl lich, ghost in the shell has major kusanagi BARELY surviving an aircraft accident before being remade into a cyborg & last off is the kastle siblings in yugioh zexal who DIED in a car crash which killed their entire family then the BODIES of the kastle siblings got PERMENTLY POSSESED by 2 powerful barian siblings which are actually dark matter enrgy beings, ah it is just the morning & I managed put a nightmare fuel post

      Also Gantz crbcyr trg orurnqrq ol n genva, erfhygf va tnvavat cbjref, fbegn

      Last edited 02/06/14 10:09 am

        I read SO MUCH of that manga and gave up after a long time of it going nowhere. What the heck happened in that? I got up to the bit where...

        gurl jrer svtugvat gurfr uhtr uhtr fgnghrf ng n xvaq bs ohqquvfg fuevar cynpr, naq n snve nzbhag bs znva punenpgref jrer trggvat xvyyrq bss. Juvpu V thrff cebonoyl qrfpevorf n ybg bs fprarf ohg naljnlf... nyfb gurer jrer qvabfnhef ng fbzr cbvag va guvf puncgre? Naq ur ebqr n pvepyr ovxr nebhaq n ovg? *fuehtf*

          I'm not that far into it, so sorry not sure,

      Holy mother of run-on sentences! Hi. :) When we're posting spoilers here, we're converting it with a cypher at, usually.

      I second Gutsoup on the Gantz horror. If you really want to develop a fear of being in front of the yellow line on train platforms, go watch Gantz.

        Hmm, sorry Monday brain doesn't work so well, didn't consider the spoiler cause it's like the opening scene but regardless is still spoilery, Edited and apologies.

          Oh, no, I meant @dinoking with his list of backstory stuff, not you with Gantz, man.

          Yeah, far as I'm concerned anything that happens in the start of a series' first episode is NOT spoiler territory.

    A Monday morning exercise to prepare the week and put everything in perspective:

    Take note of the current time and date. Memorise it. Now, swear to dedicate the rest of your life to uncovering the secret of time travel with a promise to come back to this moment to tell yourself you succeeded.

    Did you turn up? No? Good job wasting your entire life you failure.

      Aw man, I get fat in the future :(

        This is a good thing. You're obviously well-fed so it probably means you're all successful and stuff.

          Well, I suppose time travel does make it possible to scam the lottery...

          But it's the opposite! The more overweight people are generally a result of eating inexpensive unhealthy junk food. So if anything, he's poor!

      Future me would come back a day late just to mess with me/her. :P

      I'm pretty sure I've forgotten this date in the future >.<

    Had a pretty great weekend, Such a good week for games, Wolfenstein, Watch Dogs, Mario Kart 8 & Pikmin 3 (new to me). Haven't been so spoiled for choice in a while, it was tough deciding which one to dedicate my time to. Got plenty of gaming in and even played some Kart with TAYbies, successful weekend :D

    Saw disco legend Giorgio Moroder last night at the Opera House. So good, so groovy.
    Going to work today was a horrible, horrible mistake. I'm so hung over my face is stinging.

    Game of Thrones tonight!
    Ryvn Znegryy! Lbh encrq ure, zheqrerq ure. Lbh xvyyrq ure puvyqera. Lbh jvyy fnl ure anzr!

    So hyped.

    So a few Christmasses ago some of you may remember I was making a quilt for my Nan but rushed the quilting to try and finish in time and ended up ruining it. I was devastated, as she's the one who bought me my sewing machine and I wanted to make her something awesome to thank her.
    A year and a half of unpicking later and I've finally finished it off properly. I even did a little "I've finished!" dance. And while I had it laid out on the pool table before wrapping it up for Nan, every single time my daughter went past it she couldn't resist and had to touch it, running her hands over the texture. Which is pretty much the best reaction, and highest compliment a quilter could wish for. :D

      Always the best feeling when your work is appreciated. :)

      success! I need to see some of your quilts, I hear they are rather legendary.

        My profile on Twitter ( ) features the one I made for Gloryhammer.
        I'd actually love to make one like that with Guts' sword from Berserk. If I ever get around to making it, I'll give it to you. :D

          I'll buy it from you for all the moneys, that would be amazing.

            I'm sure I'd be able to give it to you for the low, low price of a Meat attendance. :D

              haha, I'd die of guilt, I'd have to at least buy everything for you at that meat.

    Morning, TAY!

    Thanks to all my buddies that played Mario Kart 8 multiplayer on the weekend. It was a lot of fun! I think a couple of us are playing again tonight if you're interested (usual time and place!) I keep seeing people with these amazing looking cars/bikes online. It makes me want to grind to unlock everything :P

    The rest of the weekend was pretty quiet. Made some slow-cooker chicken burritos on Sunday which were actually amazing even though I substituted a bunch of ingredients with stuff I didn't have to go out and buy.

    Also briefly picked up Pokemon X again to see if I can try and create a competitive Bug-type team for the PAX Gym Leader applications. Gave up after a little while because I figured I don't want to be tied down to a "job" at my first PAX. Maybe next year! (Also it's super hard to make a competitive mono-type team :P)

      So good that multiplayer coins count, I was playing 3 player for a while on the weekend we were unlocking 1 to 2 customization bits every grand prix. Also discovered that characters seem to unlock in random order, I got Lakitu as the second last dude but when my girlfriend played he was the first one to unlock. Also thanks for setting up Kart stuff it was a lot of fun, the connection seemed awesome too, didn't have a single issue with lag at all,

        I can hardly take credit for setting up the tournament (seriously it takes like 5 seconds :P) but thanks for playing! Once it's set up properly it's really easy to just jump into a race with friends, it's great.

          awesome, I hear you're the one to beat at it, I look forward to racing :D

            Watch out for @sughly more :P

              Y'all are some tough competiton - @gutsoup even joined in after quite a few games and still dominated the score! Had a rough start but upped my game towards the end. Excited for some more toniiight, woop woop! Love this game

                man that was a lot of fun, looking forward to more races. those last few races were all so damn close, can't believe I stole first in a couple of them.


      Can't be too competitive, or no one would get badges...

        Well nothing TOO bad, but I couldn't find a combination I liked that fit my "gimmick" :P

        Maybe I should give it another go, it would be pretty fun to do.

          I think you'd be a great fit. There will be typed / themed leaders, and suitability for different skill levels, not just an expectation to have a serious battling team and to beat all challengers - if a gym leader beats everyone, then the elite four and champion get very bored since no one can challenge them.

      Especially with Bug's as the theme! While there are some solid contenders most Bug types can't hold their own without other types backing them up.

        There's no defensive and speedy Reflect-carrying Bug type either, which sucks. It's either slow and bulky (Forretress) or fast and frail (Leavanny).

        EDIT: It would be great if the Custap Berry was available in XY. Then I could take advantage of Forretress' Sturdy and get dual-screens up fairly easily.

        Last edited 02/06/14 10:18 am

    Hola Tay

    Busy weekend. Had our big work diner Friday, some of you saw the penguin suit shot on fb. Friend's birthday saturday night, as always a fun night. Had a spontaneous visit from Lady Friend sunday and things... progressed.

    Played a chunk of Saints Row IV, my god is the movement and running in that game fun. Superpowers, so good!

    A Monday Morning Question: If you could have a superpower what would you pick, with the condition that your nemesis has the exact power to counter yours?

      Also, way to go with the lady friend/snuggle friend! :D You deserve good things, Red!

        You and your snuggle friend, DC.


          Nice deflection there, Red. But you've mentioned dates and lady friends way more than I've mentioned snuggling. :P HEY EVERYONE, RED IS A PLAYER!

            Hah, I can't claim to be a player, statistically it just doesn't work.

              That just means you need to rework the statistics red! Haven't you heard of the rule of 3???

      If I choose Immortality does my nemesis die on the spot?

        My understanding is he would have the ability to beat your immoratlity =p But well trolled sir. xD

          maybe it'd be like Highlander and I'd have 1 weakness and he'd know what it was.

      I think it would be really good for my writing if I had the ability to read minds at will. Because it wouldn't particularly bother me if my nemesis had a lead-lined brain.

      Last edited 02/06/14 10:12 am

        Haven't you seen the Buffy episode Earshot. Reading minds isn't something you'd want, Shane.

        Unless you want to find out what your parents did twice. On top of a cop car.

          "At will" is the catch there. :P

          Of course if your Nemisis' ability was not to take your mind reading powers away, but to make them active passively, all the time, at the worst moments...

      Super speed... definitely super speed. Would make commuting to work so much fricking easier =,=

        Plus, your nemesis would be slow as fuck.

        Or like the reverse Flash and run backwards

          Or he'd be like this immovable blob so that my speed wouldn't affect him?

      I would like the power to fly. This would mean my nemesis has the power to walk.

      Telekinesis, what would counter that though, other than more telekinesis?

    So I couldn't play Watch Dogs on the weekend because my wife hasn't started it yet (having abandoned ACIII as a lost cause she wants to move onto Stick of Truth). so I decided to go back and play Lego Star Wars to 100% it because I originally 100%'d Parts 1 & 2 on PS2 before buying the Complete Saga on 360. I need more games with 1000/1000 achievement points!

    Unfortunately, not only have they added the challenge mode to each level (where you have to speedrun and find 10 hidden canisters in 10 minutes) there's also a 10 point achievement to play an entire level over Xbox Live. I don't even have XBL Gold anymore and I doubt anyone is playing it.

    I'm still enjoying the game but I did not realise this damn thing had multiplayer achievements when I started my quest to 100% completion. >:(

    I've been playing Mario Kart multi on Wii U controller because my wifi doesn't extend to the room with HDTV properly. (For the Wii U, it does for every other damn console. *shakes fist*) Still very playable though, but I miss the HD goodness. :'(

    Last edited 02/06/14 9:50 am

      the Wii Us pad is surprisingly comfortable, I've been using it for everything except Pikmin, those controls are not good, worse if you're left handed (didn't check to see if switchable for leftys)

        Pikmin plays best with Wiimotes, weirdly.

          yeah being able to point at where you wanna throw your guys is pretty helpful, I tried for a while with the pad, it did not go so well :P

    What up TAY?

    A little late to the party but I have just started playing Ass Cred 4, SHIVER ME TIMBERS! this game is awesome!
    After the crapfest that was revelations and 3 I had given up on AC series, even after all the praise I had heard of 4 I had no interest in checking it out, man am I glad for specials and impulse buying.
    Now, as most of the praise points out, the sailing and whaling on the moon are certainly highlights of the game, but I also just seem to enjoy the setting, characters and mission structures more this time around as well.
    Not sure if it beats 2 or Brotherhood, but as I seem to still be unlocking upgrades and events, still can't buy the diving bell, this may just make the best Ass Creed yet.

      Given the opportunity I would have never purchased the diving bell. God I hated the underwater stuff.
      I found just about everything else in the game fun, except for (funnily enough) the assassassassass parts of the story.

        I was keen on diving cause it got all the best upgrades for the ships, didn't get annoyed by it for some reason.

        Mmm well this should be interesting. The only time I have seen the diving section was at the EB Expo and I remember thinking it would be cool to get the game just for that.
        Now I wait in piqued interest to see how I will find it while actually playing... the suspense is suspenseful!

      Whaling on the moon? You played a far more awesome version of Assassin's Creed than I did. :(

        We're whalers on the moon
        we carry a harpoon
        but there aint no whales
        so we tell tall tales
        an sing a wailing tune

        Last edited 02/06/14 12:24 pm

      Nothing to say except "HUGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *crashtackle hugs* :D

        STRAAAAAAAAANGE! *hides behind Clubby*
        That reminds me, was out with a group of people I barely knew when someone finished a comment with "I found it strange"
        I of course then had to shout out "HI STRANGE" while smiling and waving... I got some very strange, Hi Strange \o :D, looks... was a good night.
        I also found ten dollars in my wallet.

      Hi Hugo
      I haven't played asscred 4 (or 3) yet but I did spend the weekend playing Skyrim!!

    Murdered: Soul Suspect week.

    I am going to ignore every single review and make up my own damn mind.

    Looks like just my kind of game.

      I don't know anything about the game except the title and I will check it out, but in a couple of months. Too many games I am actively working on to justify another one at launch that will just gather dust. I wouldn't have even picked up Watch dogs if I hadn't preordered the Dedsec edition.

        I just like the whole Heavy Rain/L.A. Noire adventure game hybrid aspects to it. I can forgive the flaws if this stuff is cool.

          Looks like it has more of a creepy vibe going on as well as opposed to Heavy Rain and L.A. Noir which were more purely detective based games.

            Oh yeah, for sure. I just mean in how it plays with adventure game hybrid stuff. :)

      I thought it looked like an absolutely rad modern Noir detective mystery adventure game thing.

      Then I watched a gameplay demo and there was combat sequences straight out of a bad Resident Evil game and interest levels, which had been at 0 at the start of the footage and were sky high by about 5-10 mins in came crashing to the ground completely.

      Skipping. Will get in a Steam sale when it's $20.

        I'll let you know how it is for the long haul though. :)

      This week? I thought it was next week. Oh cool, new stuff then. Best polish off Observe_Puppies today then and get on with the video editing I've been putting off for weeks so I'm not distracted

    TAY Pathfinder tonight at 8pm AEST. Same tomb place, same tomb time.

    Will our valiant heroes find the heirloom and escape the tomb with their lives? One can only hope. :P

    @redartifice @tech_knight @freezespreston @sernobulus @negativezero @steve-o_the_deve-o @beeawwb @rize

      Will Dem'nion trip and fall over causing him to knock himself out? :P

        How many hits would Dem'nion take if Dem'nion could take hits?

          Only one... and that knocked me out (Actually half killed me)!

            Hey @popdart5 - how do you handle levelling up? I think Dem'nion is going to be very sad if he rolls a 1 on his HD.

              If I die first in this campaign then so be it, luck is usually against me anyway.
              I might introduce Avitius or Seth, the warrior twins, one with katana and shield, the other with a scythe, one dressed in red, the other in blue.
              I got LOTS of characters I could bring in that I've run in other RPGs :)
              Edit: Or maybe I should bite the bullet and make a dedicated healer

              Last edited 02/06/14 10:35 am

                "Edit: Or maybe I should bite the bullet and make a dedicated healer"

                Just saw this and wanted to say "Screw that, man" - don't feel obligated to make a character, doubly so if you don't think you'd have fun playing them. We'll stumble along just fine without a dedicated healer. Adds to the fun!

              I'm a bit generous for levelling so players can reroll 1s when rolling new hit points. I know the pain as I had a level 7 fighter (d10 HD) who had a +3 Constitution bonus and only had 45 HP. So in the course of six level ups from my base HP of 13, I rolled 6d10+18 and only rolled 14. D:

                I hear that! I had a Dwarf fighter who was remarkably similar. Could never seem to roll anything higher than a 4 for his HD.

                Personally speaking (and I'm not saying we should be doing this!) I like the idea of standardised ranges for HD. E.g. on d10 HD minimum 4 maximum 7. Or even 1/2HD+1 or something. Keep the mystery out of it. :p

                  The toughness feat, high Con, and favoured class bonuses are the best way to guarantee decent HP scaling. Unfortunately a bad die roll is a bad die roll but it also makes things interesting. It's kinda also the reason why I prefer rolling for characteristics rather than point-buying as it can make characters a little more than just stat blocks.

                  You're right on a lot of that @popdart5 - and in fact I really like how Pathfinder offers the options for Favoured Classes to give you that little extra leg up if needed.

      I'm having tech issues, but I think I'll be able to hook in- bought a 1-month sub for roll20 so I'll try and hook in via mobile devices

        Is your router accelerating again?

          It's a computer problem, power supply is acting screwy. I'm not going to bother fiddling too much with it as I'm getting that comp off Benny this week.

        Hopefully things work out but it will be interesting to see how roll20 works on mobile.

    Good morning all.
    Finally off recall for a while so back to League of Legends! \o/
    After a week of not playing it at all, meaning my skills need to be practiced again /o\

    Also played some Torchlight 2 over the weekend, and BLOODY HELL BESERKER YOU'RE SQUISHY NOW! I'm having to switch to cannons more and more with how easily I get bashed down. My death count is over 60 now I think :(

    Last edited 02/06/14 10:01 am

    I won't tag everyone again just yet cause I did yesterday, but @quiz_b meat on Sunday 8th in Brisbane CBD! (Afternoon/evening/unspecified time.)

      ooo, Sunday or Saturday? Was sure you said Saturday yesterday? :P Sunday would be a no go for me

        Pretty sure I said Sunday, but I don't know what to believe any more!

      I'm tentatively in. Depends on the timing and how badly I want to watch the footy.

    I'm currently writing the script for Undad, and I'm realising that I just cannot write funny. Sadly, it seems to be turning out as serious as all my other books so far... which is kind of upsetting and totally against the design brief.

    Will keep trying for now, but ultimately might have to shelve this project... or Abrams it to another writer, perhaps.

      It's good to know your limits, though. I suck at comedy too!

        So I won't be sending the script to you for suggestions, then :P


          Sorry Shane. :(

          You just need to tickle your funny bone! Ah I got no idea what I'm saying it's a Monday >.<

            I just feel all dead inside when I try to write funny zombie stuff. I think my braaaaaaaaaain is rebelling against me.

              Just go back and re-read Page Sixes for inspiration.

      don't have comedic chops? just stick a dad joke in there every other sentence and you're good.

      ... Oh wait, you're trying to be funny.

      But maybe watch some stand-up or such before writing beforehand.There's a certain flow to some types of humor that I think can only be obtained once you're in a jovial mood.

        For this project, I kind of need to be channelling sitcom funny (I'd be all good if it was a dad jokes thing). I don't think stand-up is funny anyway, because I'm a soulless monster :P

        Last edited 02/06/14 10:13 am

      perhaps you just have a type of humor that doesnt translate to what you're trying to do?

      the funniest stuff, in my opinion, falls into two categories - things that arent inherently funny, but are ridiculous in the given context, & things that cross the line twice.

      in the context of UnDad, it could be a scene where Dad is depserately trying to hide his living-inpared condition during a job interview, and the interviewers are completely oblivious & super OTT PC etc & just assume he's got a skin condition & is a bit 'special' & go out of their way to hire him, whilst going out of their way to frame his brain eating urges is an affirmative-action, 'we're all totally open mideded and accepting of things, coz were so PC & stuff' way.

      crossing the line stuff can be harder to pull off, but can be the best.

      eg: dad is fighting the zombie urge, and just snaps. grabs a dog & starts eating it - frame it as a dramatic scene where his vulnerability is shown & his willpower is tested... then the dogs owner happens by... for best effect, its a cute kid. the kid is horrified & scared & dad scared coz he's coming to realise that he might not be in total control & might be a threat to his family & is also panicking coz the kid will no doubt blow his cover... dramatic stand-off, right?

      cut to the next page / panel & dad is happily walking off, chewing on what is obviously a kid's arm. problem solved.

        I've already got a plan for issue 1 where:

        uvf fba unf oebhtug gur pynff crg (thvarn cvt/unzfgre/sreerg/zbhfr/fbzrguvat) ubzr sbe gur jrrxraq, naq ur oernxf gur pntr naq rngf gur navzny. Jura ur pbzrf gb uvf frafrf, ur fhpprffshyyl oynzrf gur qbt sbe gur rngvat, naq uvf jvsr naq fba sbe yrnivat gur pntr bcra.

        It's the kind of thing that is so easy to write an amusing summary for, but I think I'm going to struggle when it comes to dialogue, pacing, framing. I fear it's going to come out as straight dramatic. Which might be okay in a sort of Leslie-Nielsen-deadpan-straight-man kind of way, I guess, but that isn't what I hoped it would be.

      What do you need? I'm hilarious.

        see @shane? ^this^ is what I meant by "ridiculous in the given context"

        (sorry Kermy :p)

          Don't apologise for getting the joke, this is why Shane needs us.

      What kind of humour do you envision it needing?

        See, I don't know exactly, but I'm writing conflict between family members, and it's just conflict. I feel like it should be funny as well. Not even real funny, just sitcom funny would do.

    Hi TAY. I need your help. Not desperately, but it'd be very much appreciated (more than you know). Girl problems ahead, serious business, etc etc..


    I have been with her for 1yr 6mtnhs+ already. We're pretty close - we essentially live together and I most definitely classify her as my best friend. She keeps jokingly teasing saying I should marry her, etc. For reference, she could be classified as an Aries in a way - tough-headed, doesn't back down, classifies herself as bitchy if the other person deserved it? I'm an actual Aries myself and I have these traits myself.

    There's this dude, called Wayne. My gf is good friends with him. Their friendship origins are full of WTF (which I wont go into), so I'm always wary of this any time I hear his name pop up. My gf is currently job-searching, so has a lot of time on her hands. She goes to gym with Wayne pretty regularly. Naturally, as the bf of a sexy girl, I am naturally jealous. At first I thought it was Wayne who was interested in my gf, but as time went on I'm pretty much convinced that IF there is anything, it'd be my gf interested in him. Of course, I have no proof, and there really aren't any glaringly obvious signs she's fooling around. Sometimes when we used to go out with friends she'd pay more attention to him/others than me, which sucks major balls (I don't consider myself to be going overboard in the 'attachment' factor here. It's just how it was). Like she'd constantly make small talk with eveyrone but me, play pool with Wayne on her team or against her rather than me (or anyone else). Bad feels man, and it's pretty weird in general, but I was happy that nothing is going on.

    One time she went with Wayne to his work Xmas party. .Apparently his friend couldn't come, so he invited my gf. To me, this is weird/inappropriate as fuck - I didn't invite her (going out for a good 2-3 months) to my xmas party, so why is he inviting her to his. Apparently it wasn't weird to him, or to her, and so they went. 10:30pm passes, which'd be the end time of a work party usually, doubly so if it's friends going. SMS's from her stop. Fast forward to 3am or so, and she's home. Tries to stop me checking the time. Apparently Wayne's female colleagues invited her out to town, she lost track of time (note this) and her phone died. I wasn't happy, this was a flag for me, but what do I do?

    Friday night. 4:45pm I'm SMS'ing her, all is fine. That morning (and THursday night) we agreed that my gf will pick up some meat etc from store so we can cook/eat dinner and watch a movie that night. I get home 5:15p. 6:30pm I send SMS asking where she is. "sorry playing magic [card game] with Wayne, lost track of time" That's it. I flare up a bit and say I dont fucking accept that. No calls from her, no SMS from her, nothing saying when she'll be home. 8:45pm, I SMS her asking why still no calls. I then see she's been on FB and liked some picture about "I thought it you this morning, ruined my day" or something. So I screenshot and send to her, asking if it's about me. "No not about you". So I ring her straight away. She lets every call ring out, thenstarts declining. SMS why she didn't pick up "Im eating is that okay". I say no it isn't okay, to see me before lunchtime the next day because we have a lot to discuss. Apparently she didnt think so: "discuss what? That you dont want me hanging out with my friends?"

    The next morning, I see her online on FB at 8am. I decide to get up, and drive past her parents place in town (she either sleeps at mine, or very occasionally on couch at mothers). Heh, nope, car not there. I talk with her parents who are at home, (im on good terms with them) and they say she didn't sleep over. They both WTF, her father rings her up to ask where the fuck she is. Apparently having breakfast and will be over.

    Eventually, we meet at my house. I ask if there's anything to talk about. "No?" Fuck me, okay .. So I ask if she's OK to come for drive, there is indeed things to talk about. She's OK with going to a nearby beach. At the beach we start discussing things:
    - Even though at 4:45pm she would have been at shops getting groceries, she was probably at Wayne's playing magic. She had no explanation.
    - 6:30pm SMS response - apparently lost track of time.
    - No response/call to say when she'd be home. Apparently she couldnt come home cos she had 4 beers, lost track of that too. Also she "didnt wanna deal with it" (e.g. me?)
    - Where did she sleep? "At Wayne's". Where, he has 1 bedroom apt "He has sofa you know"

    Major question #1: does this sound okay? At this point none of this made any sense whatsoever, it's all bullshit and tbh sounds like lies.

    My gf has been very obsessive and protective of her phone a lot, and for a long time. Doesn't say who call is from, hides screen when I look over at who she SMSing. I'm actually interested, in a nice way, because we share a lot of friends. Nope, denied.

    So, I ask to see her phone, especially considering what happened Fri night. Nope, denied. It's her phone, her business, nothing to do with me. Denied.

    Now, I'm a nice guy sometimes. I count myself as very nice to my gf. But I have my limits, you don't fuck with me and expect nothing in return. I muster up the courage and say: either you show me phone or we're done. You should have nothing to hide - relationship and trust is a two way street. Nope, denied, and she storms off towards the car.

    Demands to get driven home. So I do. Along the way I have to pull over because I'm tearing up so much. Along the way I was telling her things, but as mentioned at the start she is very tough headed and didn't want to budge. I then say she either shows me phone so I'm convined what she said was true, or we're done, or we go see a councellor or something (hoping they could help her see why I need this, and why what she did wasn't okay.) Because all along the only thing she thought she did wrong was "I guess I should have called you to pick me up".

    We kinda reconcile, but it's still playing on my mind. Sunday she has a shower, I contemplate checking her phon (no PIN). She has unusually short shower and gets out right after me. I still can't explain to myself WTF happened, and how it's okay for my gf to stay the night at a dude (regardless if friend) house. At the beach she said her other bf's had no problem with this. Well fuck that, that's their prerogative not mine.

    This morning, once again, It's playing on my mind. She has a shower, I check her phone. As expected, all SMS from Wayne are deleted. All FB messages deleted. I check call log - 4:25pm Fri afternoon call from him. My thought process: 4:25 should be getting ready to go to groceries, so I guess she got the call from him to go his house and play - a direct 'fuck you StickMan' and ditching of me and our plans.

    I walk into bathroom, she gives me kiss and says something cute about my nose being red etc. I show her phone with call log, ask her to explain. Nope. Gets angry, grabs phone, locks bathroom, s generally angry (short version).

    I've had enough. Why would she delete the 'evidence' if there's nothing to hide? I tell her "you will explain all of this to me, or we're done". She doesn't like that, is still angry, takes one of my comments the wrong way and says she'll have her stuff out by today. I say again that I need an explanation, there's no way this is it.

    20 mins later I start work, I'm talking to someone trying to work out email problem. I feel physically ill (still do as Im typing), and I could barely contain the tears in eye sockets. I don't cry often, only with relation to my gf.

    I love her. She's been my best friend for over 1.5 yrs. I trust her. I contemplate marrying her in the future. But I can't accept this total lack of respect for me, the "fuck you" attitude I see, the total lack of explanation for events, and the deleting of SMS, and the refusal to show me in the first place. How do I actually know she wasn't fucking him? If I didn't go to her parents, would she tell me she slept the night at her parents?

    I actually messaged Wayne via FB. He's seen the message. I wasn't threatening - I asked him for his help to understand what happened, said my GF may walk out on us. Asked him, to please have honest talk with me, if he's really her friend. (I don't know, but at this stage I kind of trust him. He's made some whack decisions, but I do, I think)

    I don't know what to do anymore. On the Saturday when we're reconciling, she tells me she definitely still loves me and doesnt' want us to end. I still love her too. She's my everything. I don't know what to do. She told me near our start to "never let her walk away". Do I do that? Or do I let her make the choice - explanation or done?

    Please help. I'm very very afraid of the responses, but I need as many as I can get. I need some validation that I'm not a creepy motherfucker who is obsessive and controlling of his GF. I need reassurance that what I've done so far is the right thing. Any comments will probably help, please. I'm actually scared for my life.

    Last edited 02/06/14 10:18 am


      Man, there's obviously a missing channel of communication here somewhere, but honestly? That list of behaviour up there is really, really controlling. I'm not defending her, I know neither of you, but if a friend of mine's boyfriend was doing that to her I'd be encouraging her to drop him.

        I see. My understanding is: we had plans that were well-known to both of us. Then she goes and gets drunk with a dude. Doesn't come home (my place or parents). Doesn't let me know anything. Hides explanation, and doesn't give much of one.

        Is me having a major problem with that, still being controlling? :\

          I can see why alarm bells are going of, but I don't think you've reacted well to it. Bottom line is if you don't trust her that's reason enough to break up. She doesn't have to show you her phone and she's her own person who doesn't have to prove any thing to you, but you don't have to keep dating if you don't believe her. Just don't get controlling.

          It's not the plan thing, it's the response.

          I agree, it's pretty lousy that you had plans and she skipped out on them for whatever reason, but snooping on her phone and all that is a bit weird. I understand you're upset, and it does suck, but it just seems pretty weird.

            OK, understandable. IMO though, there's a time and a place for everything. I don't like getting fucked around, so I'll use every available means to figure out if I am or not.

              Here's the thing, using every means available just shows that you don't trust her.
              If things are that rocky you need to have a talk with her, work out where you stand. If things need to end then they need to end.

              The problem was doing things like phone snooping and the like is that if nothing is going on then you are saying you don't trust her and she will react to that. Either assuming that you think she is messing around because you are and that is the reason that's you first thought.
              It might just be something as simple as she still likes going out and being out to 3 in the morning but you don't so she goes off because she doesn't want to inconvenience you. Or if you don't want to be there and stay you drag the night down.

          It can be pretty easy for us to sit back and say you could have done things better and the like, but having come out of a relatively similar issue like this myself I can say that if I had my time again I would have done many things a lot better in my situation.

          When you put trust and love and care into cultivating something as a special as a relationship it really hurts when things turn pear shaped. My advice from this point here forth that you handle things in the manner of the 'light of day' approach, if you were happy for people to know how you handled a certain situation in public than you can sleep well at night.

          Otherwise, I hope your day gets better.

      Either you trust her, or you don't. It all comes down to that. There is exactly 1 person that you can control in life, and that's yourself. You can't control other people, or their actions. So either you're ok with her and her actions, or you aren't.

      Sounds to me like you aren't.

        Trust is relative. I do trust her. But it's hard to trust her version of events, considering the version of events is consistent with cheating bar the actual evidence being missing. Anyways, thanks for the response. Maybe I am a fuckhead after all!

          Generally speaking anything followed by a "but" is irrelevant. "I do trust her, but"

          I'm not saying you're a fuckhead, what I am getting at is that when you're inside of the situation sometimes it can be difficult to see clearly because of your vested interest. I see a lot of dependant statements and a lot of bargaining with yourself for justification. E.g. "I'm still with her, plan to marry her." What's that got to do with anything? Marriage isn't some catch-all fix everything bandaid - take it from the guy whose marriage fell to pieces. On that same vein, I had a relationship last probably a year longer than it should have because we kept saying that we'd get married in the future, I kept planning ahead, looking forward with some rosy coloured glasses. In the end our problems didn't go away, as I always knew they wouldn't, and things ended. If we'd faced our problems head on instead of skirting around them we could have saved ourselves a lot of time.

          Face your problems head on.

            Sorry to hear about the marriage, Bob.