Alright, alright! I'm up! JEEZ. Time to get 'hype'. I also recommend that you get 'porridge'. It's almost breakfast time and you're going to need all the energy you can get at this time in morning to help fuel your 'hype'. I'm really, really tired, but it's E3 time. WHOOO?
I've popped the Livestream up above for those who need it, but if you want to watch the Livestream without my chatter. Head here.
2.00 This is my really big E3 water bottle...
2.12 This is my E3 housecoat. It has my wife's name on it for some reason.
2.14 The reason is because I woke up in the dark and I picked up the wrong housecoat.
2.15 Also, I've drank about a litre of water already. I'm going to be peeing a lot.
2.20 E3 sultanas. These are really tasty.
2.23 I'll definitely talk about the video games when the video games start. But for now, I'm talking sultanas.
2.27 By the end of this I'm going to be 20% water... 70% sultanas. 10% flesh and bones.
Wait, does that add up to 100%? I'm super tired.
2.28 That new Homefront game is funny because it exists. I can't believe that it exists.
2.30 It's about to officially kick off! HURRAY!
2.31 I really need to pee.
2.32 Okay it's really happening. On schedule. Haha. I wasn't expecting that.
2.33 Entire briefing to games. I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT.
2.35 COLLARDOODY COLLARDOOOOOOOOODDDDDYYYYY!
2.37 Argh, this is impressive. I WANT TO BE SARCASTIC BUT I CAN'T. I know I'll make fun of the explosions. There was a lot of explosions.
2.40 He ripped off a door like Arnie in Commando. That was cool. I like Commando. Everyone likes Commando.
I think this game has in-game BWAAAAAAAHM. Next Gen BWAAAHM.
2.43 HIS ARM WAS RIGHT THERE! JUST PICK IT UP!
(This looked alright. At the very least Call of Duty will be different this year. Not bad. Not bad at all.)
2.44 COLLARDOODY. CARS.
2.46 There is a Scottish man at E3! E3 redeemed!
2.47 "Epic" "socially connected" — E3 bingo cards at the ready! The buzzwords are coming.
2.49 In all seriousness, Evolve is a cool concept. I wish the rest of the game was as original: like the art, the classes, all that stuff.
2.51 Okay I'm still excited about Assassin's Creed. Let's do this.
2.55 This looks great, but I have no interest in Assassin's Creed. I really wish they'd just work on improving the core AC experience. Why not add momentum to the controls? Stuff like that? Improve climbing, improve the controls?
3.01 Oh man, Sunset Overdrive is great. This game is just what I needed in this conference. THANK YOU.
That was genuinely a great trailer. Best trailer so far easily. Genuinely funny.
3.04 And the gameplay... looks like Tony Hawk's mixed with shooting. Where has this game been all my life? I want this. First big surprise of E3. This looks great.
3.06 HAGGAR COUNT — ONE.
3.08 Yes Alex. Yes. BUT DOES IT HAVE LET IT GO?
3.09 Urgh. Adding the subtitle 'Legends' just kills all enthusiasm for me. FABLE: RISING. FABLE: LEGENDS.
Oh wait. There's a Scottish man. I've changed my mind. GAME OF THE YEAR.
No wait, this game is sucking the hype from my veins and harvesting it.
3.17 Conker in Project Spark? That is so dumb. Sorry. That makes no sense whatsoever.
3.19 Man, I'm even cynical about cool looking indie games. What IS WRONG WITH ME.
(That looked okay though — the Spirited Away rip off thing I mean.)
3.22 HALO STUFF! WHOO!
The Master Chief Collection sounds amazing. I was given an early heads up about what it contains and it is pretty incredible. All the games, 1080p/60 fps, multiplayer AS IT WAS IN THE ORIGINAL GAMES. Right down to the glitches. There is so much content in this thing it's incredible.
3.26 They got the old Halo pros in? I am fanboying the fuck out right now. I loved this game. Love these guys. This is amazing. They got Neighbour and the MLG gang to play. This is so, so awesome. I will play this game to death.
3.30 So weird that the game I'm most excited about is 10 years old. That's a shame. But Halo 2 online? HOOK IT TO MY VEINS.
3.32 Wait this new Limbo game thing looks amazing. Wow. I need this. I need this in my life.
3.35 Ah, the token Indie game montage. It would be nice if Microsoft had the guts to lead with one of those games.
3.37 "Stuck like a ship... frozen in ice." Never change video games. Never change.
Still, Tomb Raider is cool. I can't be too cynical.
3.39 Holy christ The Witcher 3 looks absolutely incredible. That is all.
3.47 Okay dokey, The Division. Let's see what this game is like nowadays and have everyone scream DOWNGRADE!
3.49 This game still looks fancy: confirmed.
3.52 Fake video game chatter is the best video game chatter.
3.54 I know nothing. I have no idea what it will be like. But I promise you I will inhale anything Kamiya creates. And I mean ANYTHING.
3.57 Crackdown 3? Awesome. I think the world is ready for Crackdown 3. This is good news.
4.01 Alrighty! That was that. I really thought they'd drop the mic with Gears Of War, but nope. Still, pretty fat free. You might not like all the games shown, but that was good watching. I'm going to have a shower and get ready for what is always the longest day of my goddamn life! Get some sleep friends!