The Microsoft E3 Conference Liveblog: Get Porridge, Get Hype

Alright, alright! I'm up! JEEZ. Time to get 'hype'. I also recommend that you get 'porridge'. It's almost breakfast time and you're going to need all the energy you can get at this time in morning to help fuel your 'hype'. I'm really, really tired, but it's E3 time. WHOOO?

WHOOOO.

I've popped the Livestream up above for those who need it, but if you want to watch the Livestream without my chatter. Head here.

2.00 This is my really big E3 water bottle...

2.12 This is my E3 housecoat. It has my wife's name on it for some reason.

2.14 The reason is because I woke up in the dark and I picked up the wrong housecoat.

2.15 Also, I've drank about a litre of water already. I'm going to be peeing a lot.

2.20 E3 sultanas. These are really tasty.

2.23 I'll definitely talk about the video games when the video games start. But for now, I'm talking sultanas.

2.27 By the end of this I'm going to be 20% water... 70% sultanas. 10% flesh and bones.

Wait, does that add up to 100%? I'm super tired.

2.28 That new Homefront game is funny because it exists. I can't believe that it exists.

2.30 It's about to officially kick off! HURRAY!

2.31 I really need to pee.

2.32 Okay it's really happening. On schedule. Haha. I wasn't expecting that.

2.33 Entire briefing to games. I'LL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT.

2.35 COLLARDOODY COLLARDOOOOOOOOODDDDDYYYYY!

2.37 Argh, this is impressive. I WANT TO BE SARCASTIC BUT I CAN'T. I know I'll make fun of the explosions. There was a lot of explosions.

2.40 He ripped off a door like Arnie in Commando. That was cool. I like Commando. Everyone likes Commando.

I think this game has in-game BWAAAAAAAHM. Next Gen BWAAAHM.

2.43 HIS ARM WAS RIGHT THERE! JUST PICK IT UP!

(This looked alright. At the very least Call of Duty will be different this year. Not bad. Not bad at all.)

2.44 COLLARDOODY. CARS.

2.46 There is a Scottish man at E3! E3 redeemed!

2.47 "Epic" "socially connected" — E3 bingo cards at the ready! The buzzwords are coming.

2.49 In all seriousness, Evolve is a cool concept. I wish the rest of the game was as original: like the art, the classes, all that stuff.

2.51 Okay I'm still excited about Assassin's Creed. Let's do this.

2.55 This looks great, but I have no interest in Assassin's Creed. I really wish they'd just work on improving the core AC experience. Why not add momentum to the controls? Stuff like that? Improve climbing, improve the controls?

3.01 Oh man, Sunset Overdrive is great. This game is just what I needed in this conference. THANK YOU.

That was genuinely a great trailer. Best trailer so far easily. Genuinely funny.

3.04 And the gameplay... looks like Tony Hawk's mixed with shooting. Where has this game been all my life? I want this. First big surprise of E3. This looks great.

3.06 HAGGAR COUNT — ONE.

3.08 Yes Alex. Yes. BUT DOES IT HAVE LET IT GO?

3.09 Urgh. Adding the subtitle 'Legends' just kills all enthusiasm for me. FABLE: RISING. FABLE: LEGENDS.

Oh wait. There's a Scottish man. I've changed my mind. GAME OF THE YEAR.

No wait, this game is sucking the hype from my veins and harvesting it.

3.17 Conker in Project Spark? That is so dumb. Sorry. That makes no sense whatsoever.

3.19 Man, I'm even cynical about cool looking indie games. What IS WRONG WITH ME.

(That looked okay though — the Spirited Away rip off thing I mean.)

3.22 HALO STUFF! WHOO!

The Master Chief Collection sounds amazing. I was given an early heads up about what it contains and it is pretty incredible. All the games, 1080p/60 fps, multiplayer AS IT WAS IN THE ORIGINAL GAMES. Right down to the glitches. There is so much content in this thing it's incredible.

3.26 They got the old Halo pros in? I am fanboying the fuck out right now. I loved this game. Love these guys. This is amazing. They got Neighbour and the MLG gang to play. This is so, so awesome. I will play this game to death.

3.30 So weird that the game I'm most excited about is 10 years old. That's a shame. But Halo 2 online? HOOK IT TO MY VEINS.

3.32 Wait this new Limbo game thing looks amazing. Wow. I need this. I need this in my life.

3.35 Ah, the token Indie game montage. It would be nice if Microsoft had the guts to lead with one of those games.

3.37 "Stuck like a ship... frozen in ice." Never change video games. Never change.

Still, Tomb Raider is cool. I can't be too cynical.

3.39 Holy christ The Witcher 3 looks absolutely incredible. That is all.

3.47 Okay dokey, The Division. Let's see what this game is like nowadays and have everyone scream DOWNGRADE!

3.49 This game still looks fancy: confirmed.

3.52 Fake video game chatter is the best video game chatter.

3.54 I know nothing. I have no idea what it will be like. But I promise you I will inhale anything Kamiya creates. And I mean ANYTHING.

3.57 Crackdown 3? Awesome. I think the world is ready for Crackdown 3. This is good news.

4.01 Alrighty! That was that. I really thought they'd drop the mic with Gears Of War, but nope. Still, pretty fat free. You might not like all the games shown, but that was good watching. I'm going to have a shower and get ready for what is always the longest day of my goddamn life! Get some sleep friends!


Comments

    I expect that bottle will be filled with urine by this afternoon.

    Watching on twitch but will keep this tab open :)

    SPOILERS AHEAD:

    Would of been better if they didn't try and promote old games, and have a main focus on the newest games. They're trying to hard to push more sales.

    - Fables Legends looks like a fail, no need for co-op or RTS features. The graphics style was nice though
    - That dance game is a fail, no demo.
    - New Tomb Raider!! Woo!
    - Forza gets a free track... wow!
    - Promoting DLC during the conference! Really???
    - COD looked like like it does in every new trailer.
    - Crackdown looked interesting,
    - Halo got full collection but didn't come to PC :/ fail
    - Assassins creed didn't have boat gameplay, AI was nice though,
    - Sunset overdrive looks like a High def retro arcade game, which is good!
    - Saw Conker but it wasn't because they're making a new Conker's Bad Fur Day game, out recycling Project Spark :/
    - Indie game's were interesing
    - Gameplay was way to scripted on all games!

    Overall the best thing from the stream on twitch was the chat. It consisted of spamming of "HODOR", "GG", "PC" and some other random stuff.

    Last edited 10/06/14 4:12 am

    So... How come we never see you on any of these panels Mark?

    ALRIGHT! LET'S GET THIS HYPE TRAIN GOING! CHOO CHOO!

    I AM READY FOR DISAPPOINTMENT!

      I AM OUT OF COFFEE, SO I HAVE TO SUSTAIN MYSELF ON PURE HYPE!

      http://cdn.head-fi.org/6/67/274x184px-679827e4_9eeaf04f_HypeTrain.jpeg

    It's raining in Perth - I don't even know why I'm up given I don't even own an XBONE - BUT I AM SO UP.

      Haha same. Rain has stopped but I still don't have an xbone.

    Starting with cowadooty (and a boring trailer full of bullshots at that) is very depressing.

      Did you watch what I just watched? Because that looked fucking rad.

        most interested i've been in a call of duty game.

        but i also really love near-future shooters, so they are totally pandering to me.

        Not sure how I feel about those jetpacks being in multi. I feel like COD has already perfected movement in FPS and jetpacks don't seem like a needed addition :/

          It feels a little like they're trying to get that Titanfall crowd. Not that I mind, the movement in Titanfall was one of the best things about it.

        It's the same as always. Plays like Crysis, the setpieces looked pretty average, and we know that it's most likely playing on a PC - and then that classic CoD 'PC character dies' cliche. Not only that, the AI looked a bit shit - there was a bit when he was near the gap in the road where a guy was shooting directly at him and he wasn't hit at all. It's just not at all innovative or new, it's all recycled or taken from other places. Where's the innovation?

        Last edited 10/06/14 2:49 am

      I just 'meh'd' so hard... But then they went to Forza so I'm now at full 'meh' tilt.

        It wasn't amazing... But maybe it's enough to freshen the series up a bit. Time will tell

    So we've had one exclusive so far (Forza)...the rest are multiplats. Come on microsoft.

      So, the only decent thing so far is Sunset Overdrive (Which we've already seen). This does not bode well.

    WHAT THE EFF? Sunset Overdrive looks mental! Not sure if excited or embarrassed...

    Is it just me watching these videos and the game have huge framerate drops welcome to "next gen" indeed.

      I think that's the live stream (watching on my 360 there was a stutter that was constant)

    Alex Rigopulos does not understand how cameras work.

    I wanna point out - they promoted Dance Central without a single person dancing on stage - this is called learning from your mistakes!

    So, generic fantasy with dungeon master with a little bit of evolve. Not hype. Come on Microsoft, I want to root for you

    ARGHHH I thought they were announcing a new Bad Fur Day!!

      Yeah but I was still waiting for Grand Theft Ninja Turtles Batman

    "Master Chief's personal journey".
    How Master Chief Got His Groove Back Confirmed.

    Last edited 10/06/14 3:24 am

    Really? thats it for 2014. Looks like No Xbox One till 2015.

    Is Phantom Dust an underrated awesome game no-one heard of? Cause I've never heard of it...?

    Last edited 10/06/14 3:48 am

      How could you not remember blue dude and pink chick?

        I've googled the original xbox screenshots and box art and I do not recognise this game at all.

    I've been playing Ghost Recon FS lately and The Division has a LOT of similarities

    Last edited 10/06/14 3:52 am

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