It's the final event of the year! Let's get things started! Whoo!
2.00 I am so, soooo tired.
2.03 Miis in new Smash Bros! Whoa. Cool.
I had no idea how this would work, but this actually sounds quite interesting. Your Mii chooses from one of three types and then adds additional moves on top of that. By gum, this might actually work. WHAT IS THIS?
2.07 Still not super keen on Smash Bros (never really been a big fan) but will probably double down on this.
2.09 What is this Amiibo wizardry? What the hell is going on. Nintendo wants to confuse the shit out of me again, doesn't it.
Ahahahaha. I didn't need all this money anyway. Bye bye house.
2.11 LUIGI DEATH STARE. NINTENDO KNOWS. THEY KNOW. THEY ALL KNOW.
2.12 Reggie is such a compelling speaker in such a weird unquantifiable way.
2.14 Hmmm, I guess I want this. But IT'S ONLY A GUESS.
2.15 BLESS ME LORD YOSHI ALMIGHTY.
Alright, this game is starting to sell me. It's like a weird alternate Mario game.
2.17 There are certainly strange things in this world that only exist because Nintendo exists. No other company can say this.
2.18 If this is a complete game based on those small Toad mini levels you can count me the fuck in.
OKAY ZELLLLLDA TIME GODDAMMIT!
Make me a Zelda that's like Dark Souls. Yes please. Yes.
2.21 Oh wow. This is great. This looks great. Hold me. HOLD ME CLOSE.
Keep talking. Everything you are saying is pure sexual chocolate. Dat art style. Dat everything.
I wish they had shown more, but lordy is Nintendo saying the right things. Seriously.
2.25 Weirdly finding it difficult to get excited about Bayonetta 2. This trailer is a bit naff, and I loved the original game.
2.27 Sorry, still thinking about that Zelda reveal. Wow.
2.28 This Hyrule Warriors game is weird and I have zero interest.
2.30 AH A SEQUEL TO THAT KIRBY GAME ON THE DS! WHAT TOOK THEM SO GODDAMN LONG!
Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. I like it.
2.32 People love Xenoblade, so I'm guessing that's a big deal. I actually really regret skipping on the Wii game. Seemed pretty spectacular.
2.34 Mario Maker is the game that will show us all how easily Nintendo makes Mario games. THE GIG IS UP.
2.35 Holy shit. This is basically a Nintendo first person shooter. I've always wondered what that would look like. It looks like the most Japanese thing ever made ever. SQUIDS.
And of course you don't shoot other people. You shoot the environment. Most Nintendo thing ever.
I am sold on this game btw. It looks weird and new.
2.40 Sorry, but I am pretty much in love with this goddamn thing. I need this stupid squid game in my life.
2.44 Well that was a disappointing 'drop the mic' 'megaton'. ANOTHER VAGUE NINTENDO CHARACTER IN SMASH BROS.
2.46 Well there you have it. The Nintendo Direct is over! No Metroid goddammit!
Thanks for sticking it out with me. Now go to bed and get some sleep goddammit.