What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For

What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For

Mario Kart 8 is a great game. But like many great Nintendo games, there are certain things in it that seem to exist for no good reason. Or any reason, really. They're just sort of... there.

For something? Maybe? I have no idea. But man, those splashes of squid ink can really be irritating sometimes.

Dorkly drew up a list of its eight greatest pet peeves with the new Mario Kart arsenal this week. These will hit close to home for anyone who's been through a bittersweet moment when, say, the excitement of getting a Crazy Eight switches to complete and utter confusion about how you're actually supposed to use it:

What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For
What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For
What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For
What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For
What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For
What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For
What Those Items In Mario Kart 8 Are Really For

"I think I just boosted into my own bomb blast." That pretty much sums it up.

I don't entirely agree with all of these. But Dorkly really, really nails the gold coin. I've been playing this game pretty much nonstop since it came out, and I still can't tell you what the coins actually do during the races. Word is, that they make you slightly faster. But if they do, then the boost is so subtle that I still haven't actually noticed it.

Maybe there's something amazing, coin-wise, in the works for a future update that Nintendo hasn't clued us into yet. Or maybe they're just a cheap trick to divert our attention towards collecting coins when we should just be focusing on getting ahead of whoever's leading the pack.

In either case: can't I just have Donkey Kong's giant banana from Double Dash again instead? Pretty please?

You can read more Dorkly comics here.


Comments

    Coins give you a slight boost when you collect them and raise your top speed slightly as well, capped at 10 coins.

    I'm pretty sure this would be in the manual that comes with the game but I already knew as it was explained in most early previews of the game for at least 6months before release.

      I think the picture isn't pointing out that coins are completely useless, but that you always seem to get a coin item when you a) Already have 10 coins or b) you are in first with a red shell right on your ass.

        This.
        It's nearly always the case you get coins when youre behind a bunch of guys when even just green shells (green shells!) would have been perfect.
        Or on the first set of question blocks.

          I was more replying to the author who was saying he had no idea what they are for.

        When in first, keep the Banana or Green shell, unlike other Mario Karts where you traded out every prize box.

        The Coins give you a mini speed boost for collecting them, and a slightly higher top speed. I can confirm this as I passed a friend using the same weight class, same car and he was annoyed I could slowly pass him. But yes they suck in first place. Also that time I got 3 Green Shells in first place felt like I won the Lottery.

        I get the feeling the person at Dorkly played or viewed this a few times and missed a lot of the subtle things. Bloopers make every other car slower too. Although yes the Lightning is my most hated power up. I'd rather get hit with Blue Shells than Lightning.

      You know that the coins unlock things in the game as well and even when you have got 10 coins the count still goes up.

    Iv'e actually got the horn a fair few times while in 1st, and haven't had much time to play the game either. Maybe I'm just lucky.

      Look I know it's an exciting game but really? :p

    Any chance there is someone making a mod for a mega blue shell, targeting those in the 1st 4 places then slowing the down when they respawn?

    worst thing about the cah-razy 8 is while those things are circling you some idiot is always going to bump into your bob-omb and blow the both of you sky high.

    When you get bumped by another player or crash you lose coins.
    When you have zero coins and a player bumps you, you spin out.

    Lightning - Cover the track with peril while not changing the standings at all.
    Blue Shell - an item for someone else's benefit - the racer in second position.
    Boomerang - an item that you throw so you can pick up a better item.
    Coin - WTF are you on about - you cant win without coins, speed is everything.
    Green Shell - an item that will ricochet straight back into your driving line.
    Golden Mushroom - Rainbow road death.
    Crazy 8 - A star that other racers can steal and a bomb that is a more a liability than normal.

      The lightning has a longer effect on cars in front. It can slow down the whole track enough so you can get with in sight of 1st and take em out yourself.

    And this is why I stopped playing Mario Kart very much....

    I'm generally on the bottom end of most competitive games, average at best on a good day. I'm the guy with the 0.1 KDR in any FPS I play, I'm the guy running around with high upkeep within 5 minutes in Warcraft, I'm the guy being decapitated every 30 seconds in Chivalry.

    And I still play the heck outta these games, with all my suckiness and everything.

    But you know what, I'm great at driving games. I drive cleaner, faster and I'm always at the top whenever we play. I take pride that this is where my skills lie, and that it balances out with the other games.

    There are lots of games which are labelled at being targeted at kids, but are still awesome for everyone [Pokemon, for example], but Mario Kart for me seems to be the one which forces itself to appeal to children, with these sorts of power-ups. Not to say it can't still be fun for everyone, but it really does irritate me the way it controls everything. In my mind, it's just a dice rolling game [a heavily weighted dice rolling game].

    If I'm the more skilful player, why should I get taken out by someone who simply gets a lucky roll [or, 'anyone not first' in the case of the blue shell].

    Last edited 18/07/14 10:36 am

      Mario Kart does have a skill requirement, finding the best line, short cuts and optimal path while being the fastest does help you win. Clean lines not so much as I generally take a heavy and demolish people. I remember a Round where my friend and I had Bowser and Morton and laughed our arses off as poor Luigi (AI) got bounced between us and eventually knocked off the track.

      And if your good enough, a Blue Shell will allow the guy in 2nd place a glance of you rather than costing you the race.

    Super Horn does occasionally appear when you're in first place. True story.

    What? I think the effect from coins is a bit more than 'subtle', it can be the difference between 1st and 2nd in many races, it helps you recover from shells faster and many of the short cuts are impossible to use without at least a couple of coins.

    Didn't know about the speed boost on the gold coins. I thought their purpose was to unlock extra characters, bikes and things.

    I haven't been playing as much as others so I can see how they would be useless in a sense after you have unlocked everything.

    Am I the only one who has been screwed over by the Blooper thingy? sometimes yeah itll squirt the corner of my screen, nothing to stop me, but other times, it will squirt in the middle of the screen... and while drifting a sharp corner with no fence... sometimes I go sailing off...

    surely doesnt help me but someone out there is happy to watch me drown or burn in lava.

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