Say what you want about Michael Bay, but you can’t deny that the one-man blockbuster-movie-making machine has a unique style. It might not appeal to everyone. But hey: let’s all just be glad the guy isn’t making Pixar movies. That would be very… explosive, to say the least.
YouTuber MrStratman7 recently offered up this vision of what Pixar’s touching 2009 film Up would have been like if it was directed by the man best known for turning many people’s beloved childhood franchises like Transformers and, more recently, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into explosion-riddled disasterpieces. The result is an alternate history that even I, as Kotaku’s token Michael Bay apologist, am glad that we weren’t subjected to. Instead of a heart-rending story about a man trying to live out the dream he shared with his deceased wife, there are a lot of explosions. In place of Dug, the adorable talking dog and one of the best sidekicks I’ve ever seen in an animated film, there’s…even more explosions. The joke stopped short of showing the cartoon dogs playing out various ill-formed racist stereotypes, but I’m sure some of those gags would have made it in too.
I don’t mean to suggest that all of Michael Bay’s work isn’t up to snuff, mind you. But there are some things that should be left sacred. Pixar films, for my generation, are at the very top of that list. The larger point of this video, therefore, could be to help younger moviegoers and potential Bay fans understand and appreciate why the man draws so much ire from people who, say, truly loved the Transformers series back before it was turned into a never-ending cacophony of giant metal robots banging into one another. Imagine how people grew up watching Toy Story would feel if Woody and Buzz Lightyear were suddenly recast in such a bombastic, over-sombre style.
Let’s all take this as a warning before we let another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles happen.