Teleporting Is Terrifying, And I Will Never Do It

Manly is a new cartoon from brothers Jesse and Justin Moynihan, who also do some work on Adventure Time. Among many other freaky things, it features a chilling reminder of why I will never, ever use a teleporter.

You really should watch it though. Manly is a relentless, million-mile-per-hour hurdle through a gaping infinity of fuckweird — magical god planets, trans-dimensional fanny packs, and worlds straight off prog rock album covers are just the beginning — but there's a certain charm to it.

Jesse works on Adventure Time, and it shows in Manly's disarming calmness. There's a gentle normality to it all. People just being people, even in the screaming thousand-eyed face of madness.

Oh, and just so you know, Manly is actually about a girl.

"Manly is sent on a mission to save her brother and gain the approval of her father, who happens to be the emperor god of the universe (and kind of a jerk)."

Now then, re: the teleporter — things go even worse for Manly's brother, who ends up looking like this afterward.

Teleporting Is Terrifying And I Will Never Do It

Don't worry, though. He makes a full recover — oh... yikes.

Teleporting Is Terrifying And I Will Never Do It

Yeah, that one's getting a big ol' NOPE from me. Nope, nope, nope, nope.


    I won't use a teleporter for the sole purpose of they essentially have to destroy you to teleport you.
    the day we develop teleportation is also the day we essentially develop forwards time travel and instant cloning. want to time travel forwards two hundred years? no problem, let the replicator scan you, and have the reciever end just rebuild you in a hundred years!

      well unless its based on wormholes, then youd most likely just be compacted into a singularity and expanded on the other side.

      its also the day we have replicators.
      and we already have forward time travel - its called living.
      so, you know...there's that.

        3D Printers are primitive Replicators.

        They have 3D printers that can build food.

    To anyone thinking about using a teleporter, meet incoming laser fire and then, if you survive, tell us your experience of having your teleportation being disrupted by lasers

    Star Trek teleporters freak me out, it is kind of the badest idea in the history of bad ideas, given the time of the original show I can see the concept working for the show so they didnt need to use space shuttle shots every episode the idea you can pull apart and reassemble a whole person is ridiculous... spacial folding (swapping a region of space whole) or portal technology would be awesome.

    Worse is a ship in visual range is out of weapons fire, but they can basically disintegrate and reintergrate anything from high orbit of a planet. In TNG they used the teleporters to basically convert things to energy and molecules to dispose of dangerous things, the ship replicators and holodecks used the near exact same technology... so the same thing that makes your earl grey tea hot, can disintegrate the cup afterwards, and probably your whole hand if it malfunctioned.

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