The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of Video Game Fashion

Across the desk in Kotaku HQ we have POPSUGAR, a top notch women's lifestyle site that you should totally be checking out. Manning the desks at POPSUGAR? An entire team of fashion experts whose job it is to critique, discuss and judge the clothes that people wear. So I had an idea: why not take some of the most famous gaming characters -- some of the most snappily dressed individuals on the gaming scene -- and have the POPSUGAR team analyse and discuss their fashion choices?

Today, on the judging panel we have...

Alison Rice, Publisher Jasmine Garnsworthy, Fashion Editor Jessica Chandra, Managing Editor Carina Rossi, Fitness Editor

Let the games begin.


Phoenix Wright

Alison: I'm mid-Mad Men marathon so I’m all about this right now. Sharp blue suit will bring girls to the yard. Don’t like the pink tie, thin and black, always. Score: 9 /10

Jasmine: Snore! Score: 5/10

Jessica: Sa-leeek! Blue is my favourite colour and I also like a bit of pink, so this power suit ensemble works for me. Not loving the Wolverine-esque hair though, and his hand is almost as big as his head. Score: 9/10

Carina: Can this guy save me if I’m ever in trouble, in a video game? If so, I guess I wouldn’t mind. Even though he looks like he’d have zero personality. Score: 6/10


Ezio Auditore da Firenze

Alison: His cloak could come in handy for keeping me warm at night. Over the knee boots are huge right now so he’s got that down pat. Maybe a little too Puss in Boots for me. Score: 5/10

Jasmine: Lose the cape and the weird hood and this guy’s actually pretty on-trend. I really like the way his metallic accessories add edge, the belt cinches his waist and every true fashion girl knows over-the-knee boots are the only shoe worth owning this Winter. Score: 5/10

Jessica: Spirit fingers FTW! Bonus points for the knives that come with it. There’s a lot going on with this outfit, and I always wonder how people/characters who wear so much find it comfortable to fight. His version of a deep V makes me LOL, as does his mysterious face. Score: 4/10

Carina: This guy is scary. I wouldn’t want to bump into him in a dark alley, then again maybe I would. Score: 9 /10


Princess Peach

Alison: Oh, hey there bright eyes! Look if her midriff was showing, she’d be the most Instagrammed person at fashion week. Score: 6/10

Jasmine: A little less poof and a little more leg and she could be heading into a rose ceremony on The Bachelor. Score: 8/10

Jessica: Princess Peach is so pretty, but I never realised how symmetrical her hair was until now. Actually she’s rather symmetrical all the way through. Now I can’t stop looking at her face because she’s making that weird expression. As for the dress — pretty typical with the pink and the bustle, and what’s with the random brooch in the middle of her chest? Score: 6/10

Carina: I bet her favourite colour is pink and she only watches Disney movies. Score: 7 /10


Link

Alison: His hat is a little emo beanie for me. And so is the hair – very Bieber circa 2005. I love the knot in his brown leather belt. I like those kinda-tried-but-didn’t details. Zimmermann actually released an identical gold-leaf mini dress last season to the one he’s wearing under his green dress. Score: 6/10

Jasmine: I’m pretty sure I own that dress. Score: 6/10

Jessica: He’s kind of like an adult Peter Pan but instead of a small dagger he has a massive sword. Clearly he’s got the layering thing down-pat. And is he wearing tights? Score: 6/10

Carina: He looks like an angry elf but I don’t want to judge him without knowing him. He also looks like he takes very good care of his hair. Score: 6 /10


Bayonetta

Alison: I love her boots. Very similar to the Kenzo ones I spent too much money on to take me through Winter. Nice ass! Score: 8/10

Jasmine: This actually doesn’t look too far off some of the high fashion campaigns I’ve seen in recent months. Just switch the face to Miranda/Gisele/Cara and I probably wouldn’t blink an eyelid if I saw this in any glossy mag. Score: 8/10

Jessica: I don’t really know where to look! And is this a man or a woman? OK I’ve decided it’s a... woman? Does she have wings or is that her hair? Am I asking too many questions? She has super long limbs and obviously likes her accessories to match, but too much matchy-matchy can be exactly that — too much. Score: 5/10

Carina: Apart from the weird wing this seems kinda practical. But wouldn’t her glasses get in the way of things. Things like fighting? Score: 6/10


Nathan Drake

Alison: Hi! Yes please! He’s wearing a Ryan Gosling classic – the tight white long sleeve. Is that a wedding ring around his neck? Sure hope not. His scarf really completes his lost-guy-in-the-desert look. I hope he finds his way home to me. Score: 10/10

Jasmine: Ken doll here has mastered the art of the shirt tuck. He needs a shower though. Score: 6 /10

Jessica: He looks like the video game version of Jaime Lannister — hot! I wouldn’t say no if this character tried to save me in a game. Score: 8/10

Carina: This guy looks like a babe! He’s like the Bradley Cooper of video games. His outfit could be improved if he was shirtless. Score: 10/10


Lightning

Alison: Pastel hair is still having a moment, and this chick really suits it. I think her belt is too high – a bit unflattering and has no purpose. Also doesn’t properly match the colour of the leather of her boots. I do like her choice of footwear though, they remind me of the Vivienne Westwood Pirate Boots. Score: 8/10

Jasmine: High boots and short skirts – this girl knows what’s up. Score: 8/10

Jessica: Her hair is so punk-rock but also a little back-in-the-day Justin Bieber. I like the combat/utility vibe she’s going for... wait, of course she’d be going for that kind of vibe! The belt around her waist looks tight and uncomfortable, so I hope she’s not planning to eat. Score: 7/10

Carina: Her pink hair is on trend and she looks like she works out. She looks like she could hurt people. Score: 8/10


Faith Connors

Alison: Did she leave the house without her other glove? Score: 4 /10

Jasmine: Fact: sneakers are back, baby. All the cool kids are doing it – Chanel, Lanvin, Jimmy Choo included. So I’m giving this girl two points, one for each shoe. Score: 2/10

Jessica: This looks like something I’d wear on a lazy weekend but I probably wouldn’t wear those shoes. She also has super thick hair and very sharp cheekbones. I like how she’s cuffed her pants a bit. Score: 7/10

Carina: She looks comfortable and seems to be the only character who wears sensible shoes. That said, I don’t like them. Score: 5 /10


Thanks to the POPSUGAR team for taking part and indulging me!


Comments

    This gave me a good laugh! 10/10

      i agree! this was actually a brilliant idea!

      @markserrels please make this a weekly thing, like, people nominate characters in the comment for next week's one.

    This is the greatest article ever posted on this site, and I say that without a hint of sarcasm.

      I dunno, Serrel's review of the sleeping bag suit takes that for me :D

    Haha, that was a fun read. Always good to get a different perspective now and then.

    I did not expect to be this entertained by commentary on video game fashions.

    I know the target audience of Kotaku these days is around 12 years old. But seriously?

      You're wrong. About everything.

        Yeah! The target audience is 30 year old men who act like they're 12!

          I resent that! I'm only 26!

            Yeah I resent that to, I'm only..........oh wait on........ummmm.....as you were people !

          I am 12 years old and act as a 6 year old, but there will be always people who doesn't like that fact(?) .

          That explains so many of the Pokemon articles I see.

    Hey Mark, did you dazzle these girls with your video game knowledge? Diablo 3 is Blizzard's first ever console game after all, man bro dude.

      URGH I FORGOT ABOUT ROCK AND ROLL RACING. I ALREADY FEEL BAD NO NEED TO RUB IT IN JEEZ.

        And that Diablo 3 was released LAST YEAR on 360/PS3.

          Cool, thanks for straightening me out.

            Anytime, someone needs to edit the 'editor'!

    Oh hey I can finally log in!

    This is a pretty damn entertaining article. 10/10. Also, you should have gotten them to judge Samus Aron before and after high heels.

    Further evidence that I have no clue about fashion - I can't tell if this is real or satirical.

    I really like the way his metallic accessories add edge

    Genius.

    Next week on Pop Sugar - Serrels & the rest of Kotaku Au return the favour & reimagine & assess fashion designers & models as video game characters.

    how would Vera Wang fare in Resident Evil?
    is Jodhi Meares a feasible Mario Kart character?
    etc.

      Apparently Jodhi only drives drunk. Could be good.

      Last edited 22/08/14 2:44 pm

        (her recent DUI is what I was subtly pointing towards :p )

    Is it just me, or do the Kotaku offices sound like the setting for a sitcom?

    I weep for humanity.

      Because a lot of the fashion exists in real life? Or because video games seem to have a lot in common with Justin Bieber?

        critique, discuss and judge the clothes that people wear.
        That this kind of thing qualifies as a job.

          You'd be genuinely amazed at the difference in people's perception of you when you're dressed to the 9s.

            still weeping for humanity.

              Well, keep wearing your Rivers polo shirt and Crocs dude. We won't stop you. *puts on Guy Fieri-esque flame button up shirt and sunglasses*

          Like people who review and discuss video games as a job?

            Not even patricia writes gems like these.
            He looks like the video game version of Jaime Lannister — hot! I wouldn’t say no if this character tried to save me in a game.
            A little less poof and a little more leg and she could be heading into a rose ceremony on The Bachelor.
            Can this guy save me if I’m ever in trouble, in a video game?
            Is that a wedding ring around his neck? Sure hope not.

              To be fair popsugar seem to have little to no knowledge of the games and characters in this article whatsoever but do seem to have good knowledge of their profession (fashion), whereas Patricia writes sensationalist opinion articles for clicks.

              I don't mind this article though, the outsider opinion is interesting and entertaining enough.

              Last edited 22/08/14 3:55 pm

    I feel like this should be a regular thing, once a week or month. I enjoyed this more than i thought. 10/10 Serrels

      Completely agree! There are oodles of macho characters and I want those girls to judge the hell out of them!!!

      They'll run out of content soonish I think. Be fun to see them either redesign the characters, or make outfits based on the character/game(that aren't hipster garbage). Fully support this going forward.

    This made a great read Mark. Kudos for organising this. I agree that it could be a short term series of articles.

    This could be a regular article!
    Very entertaining.

    I'm just curious if these women were vetted first? Like, were they asked because they have no/little prior game knowledge?

    Cute article though!

    I would not complain if this became a regular thing.

    Though I must say I feel personally offended by Ezio's low score.

      If this was the early 80s Mattroe, he'd be in a show in for the new romantics scene ;)

    this is great!

    Their comments about Nathan Drake made me feel objectified as a man. This is why I need Masculism. /takingthepiss

    Love their responses about Nathan Drake haha. Naughty Dog did their homework on that one ;)

    Marky has done it again!
    - Feeling proud that he is an aussie, we need more people like him.
    /cheer

    Last edited 22/08/14 3:17 pm

    I think her belt is too high – a bit unflattering and has no purpose.

    Holy shit- Serrels, subject these ladies to all of the crazy Final Fantasy outfits. I mean, if Bayonetta is high fashion..

    I love how they even mentioned Nathan Drake's tactical half-tuck!

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