These Pants Are The Best/Worst Pre-Order Bonus Ever

These Pants Are The Best/Worst Pre-Order Bonus Ever

I think I’m done ranting about pre-order bonuses, they’re here to stay and there’s nothing we can do about it. I can, however, laugh at how incredibly weird the whole situation is becoming. Take these pre-order pants for example — how can anyone get mad at pre-order pants?

Pre-order pants.


I can’t say these words without pissing myself laughing. Add to this the fact that said pre-order pants give you extra speed?

Oh man, this is just too good. It’s too good. Bravo Ubisoft. Bravo.


I’m dying.

I’m dead.

Via Soixante-Neuf


  • I’m surprised they didn’t announce you can play as a female assassin if you pre-order =P

    I know I know! I just couldn’t resist the call back =P

  • “Pre-order and gain the ability to jump.”
    “Pre-order and receive swimming lessons.”
    “Pre-order and get this thing that we nerfed or cut out of the game, for free!”

    • Um, they made a derogatory comment about mario kart just last night & were forced to take the comment down

    • Exactly! The ad doesn’t say whether these are in-game or real life pants. I assume real life pants that increase my real life speed, else false advertising.

  • Pfft, everybody knows shoes make you run faster. That’s why one of Sonic’s powerups is shoes.

  • So this game gets pre order pants, while dead or alive keeps on making costume fetish dlcs costumes for its female characters. I don’t know what is worse the former or the later

  • Does this mean I’d you don’t preorder your character doesn’t get to wear pants?

    Because that’s a pretty good incentive not to preorder.

      • Hey, maybe the game will finally be a challenge. Considering you have enough health to survive several deadly attacks, armour to reduce those attacks to survive longer and about 20 potions that fully heal.

    • Oh no… I would pre-order if the dudes weren’t wearing pants…

      (I’m kidding, that’s gross, dangly bits, ew.)

  • I liked assassin’s creed with no pants. This whole pants business has just turned it into more of a Rpg. I know weapons had stats, but those stats did little.

  • So are we talking about pants in the British sense (ie underwear) or the American/Australian one. Where do the French stand on the pants debate?

    • Well, the French had a saying ‘sans culotte’ meaning “without pants” (in a British sense, but back then peeps didn’t have undies). This meant you were a commoner, since you didn’t wear those white tights… so I guess if you buy the pants, then you join the aristocracy, and if you don’t buy the pants, then you get to cut the nobles’ heads off?

      I am not pre-ordering. I want Arno to run around with his rear exposed.

  • “they’re here to stay and there’s nothing we can do about it” DON’T BUY THE GAME! Or at least don’t pre-order it. The only way to make them stop is to stop giving them money for asshat tactics.

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