What Happens When A Voice Changer Makes You Sound Female In Counter-Strike: GO [NSFW]

With Counter-Strike: Global Offensive refusing to let up on its constant updates, it’s reached a stage where weapon balance is the best in any version of Counter-Strike. Ever. That’s not Gen-y hyperbole, that’s a fact. And along with this newfound playability, and Call of Duty’s refusal to release anything new worth playing, the pendulum in swinging back to good ol’ CS. It never really had a player population problem, but as the community gets larger, it invariably gets nastier — and this was on display in one of my matches a few nights ago.

I met Ruby when I started a match on one of Operation Breakout’s new maps, Black Gold. Ruby introduced herself over the mic, and with that first fact – herself – the abuse began.

To CS players, this is nothing new. I maintain that CS is the worst game for online banter. MOBA players might disagree, and that’s cute. But CS banter is a race to the bottom in which everyone loses. The closest labyrinth of crap-flinging might be 4chan, and neither should be inflicted on the uninitiated. I was reminded of this when I saw my partner’s shocked expression as she heard an opponent at halftime claim he would “f*** me in my anus, c***.” I laughed, since I was winning and continued to win, but she looked damn near traumatised.

Back to our dear Ruby, who was being very polite and only mildly shocked, considering the open floodgates of filth pointed in her direction from angsty teens shedding all sense of accountability from their online personas. I knew something was up, though, when she said “Guys, my boyfriend just bought me this game, so you’ll have to go easy on me, okay?”

It was so obviously a lie, and not just because Ruby could actually play. If Ruby was a girl, she’d clearly been playing for a lot longer than a few days. But it was such an obvious caricature of what these rabid sacks of unchecked testosterone wanted to hear, that I already knew there was more at play.

Probably moreso for his own amusement than for some grand social experiment, Ruby had invested in (or acquired through other means, since apparently it’s expensive) voice-changing software, which unbeknownst to me, has become somewhat convincing. For the first few rounds of this match, I was fooled. But even after the obvious comments, the other side really didn’t appear to understand they were being trolled.

Sure enough, after a while, Ruby turned off the voice changer in team-only chat. “Hey guys, I’m just messing with these guys, I’m not really a girl”, he said. “I just want to see what they say.”

We already knew what they’d say. Any Counter-Strike player knows what they’d say. It’s not so much a gender thing as an online bullying thing. In the virtual realm, people can try on personalities like clothes, and a line that never goes out of fashion is blind aggression. And it’s exactly that: blind. No matter what you are, the abuser will try to find something to get under your skin. Race, gender, beliefs, skill, name, family… Anything. Play CS long enough and you’ll have someone sneaking around your Facebook profile mid-match for verbal ammo. They’ll throw what they can at the wall, and see what sticks. Whatever you get defensive about is your downfall.

The abuse calmed down a bit as we switched sides and started winning, Black Gold being a CT-sided map. But there was still a slow, steady stream of rancid verbal puke, of which only some is shown here. I record every match I play, and offered to report the enemy team. But I afterwards realised the audio hadn’t recorded along with the video, leaving only silent moving images with incriminating text.

The sad point is, it’s all too common in CS. Anti-abuse features aren’t as robust as they are in other games. While League of Legends and DOTA have acknowledged the problems in their communities, Valve hasn’t risen to that challenge. It’s as if this is, and has always been, an inseparable part of Counter-Strike. And anger certainly is part of the design in all the games mentioned — dying, and the subsequent wait afterwards, makes you angry. It’s not for the faint-hearted. But would it be nice to play on servers that only allowed those not reported for abuse? Yeah, that’d be a bit nice.

Time for the punchline.

In the post-match banter session, in which voice-com is re-enabled between teams, Ruby switched off his software. In the gruffest, grittiest, manliest voice he could muster, he said “Cheers guys, it was a good game, thanks for the match mateys.”

Over the sound of our laughter, you could just barely make out the complete silence from the other team. Seemingly, they hadn’t realised until that point who they were requesting blowjobs from.

Stay classy, Counter-Strike.


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