Bonkers Dragon Ball Z Theory Says Goku Ruined Everything

Goku showing up on earth kicked off a whole string of ridiculous events in the Dragon Ball world, not all of which were to humanity's benefit. But what if Goku had never shown up at all?

It's still likely that some horrible villains would have appeared on earth while looking for Goku, that's true. But if Goku wasn't present, then perhaps a different character would have had room to shine a bit more?

Bonkers Dragon Ball Z Theory Says Goku Ruined Everything

At least, that's the wild theory concocted by ConstantCompile. They explain:

In Dragon Ball [Z], Earth would have dominated the galaxy and possibly the universe, including all planes of existence, within 50 years if Goku hadn't shown up

Consider: In one corner, we have the Red Ribbon Army. More specifically, we have Dr. Gero - a scientist of unfathomable genius able to create bipedal nexuses of near-infinite power. In the opposite corner, we have Capsule Corporation. More specifically, we have Dr. Brief and Bulma - individuals of such absurd intellect that their first commercial product turns conservation of mass on its head. After discovering an alien spacecraft, they are able to improve upon its design (including FTL travel and gravity control!) within a couple of decades, if not less.

These brilliant minds existing at the same time, on the same planet, gives us everything we need for galactic conquest to be inevitable. First, let's consider the less interesting scenario - they go to war with each other.

Capsule Corp. wins, obviously.

That Bulma is a genius is not news to anyone — that's part of the reason she's so high on our ranked Dragon Ball Z character list. I mean, she can build a time machine. That's pretty dope. And it's with that time machine that Bulma would have been able to fix pretty much every situation by herself/her past self, according to ConstantCompile:

Seriously, if the RRA's best creations didn't manage to kill Bulma after wiping out every other noteworthy fighter on the planet, with the exception of one who was laughably weaker, it's a fair bet to say they don't have much of a shot. With her alive, every other possible scenario turns to this:

Bulma: Hey, you look kind of like me! Except older!

Future Bulma: Funny story about that! How'd you like to quit this idiotic scavenger hunt of yours and get your mind fucking blownwith the knowledge of all developed technologies and major world events in the next X number of years, presented to you in a means tailor-made to suit your current knowledge level?

Bulma: Bitchin'! To what do I owe the pleasure?

Future Bulma: We're going to steal and/or reverse engineer and/or improve upon the designs of Dr. Gero, then use them to not only conquer this timeline, but my timeline as well!

Bulma: Fuckin' A! But what if we fail?

Future Bulma: Don't you worry about that, sugar tits! In 24 hours' time I'll be time-space travelling to a nondescript asteroid that only I know the coordinates of to report my success to my past self. If my past self doesn't get that report, I'll implement a slightly different plan! If we weren't already guaranteed to succeed, I wouldn't exist by now!

Boom. Done. GG Red Ribbon Army. But again - that's the LESS interesting scenario.

Can you imagine - just imagine - the sheer insanity that would result if Dr. Gero gave Bulma the Cyborg 18 (fuck you) treatment?

Acquiring the dragon balls - barely an inconvenience. Immortality? Done. Undo any of Gero's meddling with bombs, systems etc.? No fucking problem. We now have a super-genius stronger than a Super Saiyan, who is able to bend gravity, time and matter to her will, whether through science or sheer force of power. Who knows what the fuck Cyborg Bulma would use the third wish for.Probably pocket it as an insurance policy against fucking everything.

The possibilities become endless — and so does Bulma herself:

At this point, nothing in the Dragonball [Z] universe holds a candle to Bulma anymore. She is the singularity. Any problem she encounters can be solved with a combination of self-augmentation and technological engineering.

And if she were, somehow, to encounter a problem she could not solve, she can always build another fucking time machine and either give herself all of eternity to develop the means to solve it, or prevent it from ever becoming a problem in the first place.

Every galaxy, every afterlife, EVERYTHING now falls under Bulma. She is the all-knowing, all-powerful focal point around which all of existence revolves.

What the fuck. That's the anime I would have rather watched, honestly — it sounds amazing. But, as ConstantCompile notes, instead Bulma meets Goku and becomes his lackey. She ends up having to use the time machine to send Trunks back in time in the hopes he'll save the day, instead of being able to use the time machine for world domination.

Bummer. Goku, you suck. It's your fault Bulma didn't reach her entire potential. Maybe that sounds ridiculous, but ConstantCompile explains that because the show always needs to put Goku in the limelight, it ends up maiming all his allies, "as the plot always demands the world be saved by his receiving a power upgrade."

He continues:

I think Future Bulma said it best:

"Being around Goku just makes you feel like everything's going to be ok."

Goku's presence slowly conditions her to take a passive role in world events and I think everyone, and I mean everyone, ends up paying the price for that.

Not just in her attitude changes from DB to DBZ (from "You'll follow my lead" to "I'll just stay here," or even worse "I'll just show up to watch, with infant in tow"), but even during the period after Goku's death to Raditz (well, to Piccolo) and before his revival, she takes MUCH more responsibility in her hands to do things herself.

Once Goku came back from the dead, literally, to defeat Frieza and save the galaxy, why should anyone else bother even trying to be the hero anymore? Goku is basically Space Jesus at that point.

Future Bulma, without Goku present, goes on to perform the single most impressive feat anyone has ever accomplished - she grants herself (or more accurately her son) the ability to travel to an alternate timeline at will.NO ONE ELSE in the DBZ universe has been able to do this, before or since. The ramifications of this are staggering. But because Trunks was present, she made the mistake (the understandable mistake, but still a mistake) of assuming that her super saiyan son was meant to be the hero.

Bulma, honey! You could have done it yourself! You could have done it quicker, more efficiently, more effectively! If you'd only give yourself the chance!

Alas. Here's to you, Bulma. We know you were ripped off because of Goku.

Bonkers Dragon Ball Z Theory Says Goku Ruined Everything

What do you think? Are you convinced by this theory? Is it a bunch of hogwash? Let us know in the comments.

Correction: we accidentally labelled Pan as Bulma. We've corrected this, as well as added even more Bulma pictures. #bulma


Comments

    CosmicCompile fails to account for the fact Bulma's time machine only allows travel to alternate timelines and doesn't allow you to affect your own reality. Trunks was able to prevent Goku's death in the primary timeline we are all familiar with but was unable to change history in the dystopian future ruled by #17 and #18.

    There might be one timeline where future Bulma was able to provide a solution to past Bulma and enable her to rule the universe but that relies upon Bulma living long enough to invent a time machine. Had she done that by the time Goku saved everyone's ass from Dr. Gero and the androids the first time around? No, I didn't think so.

      but if you can build a time machine once you can go back in time and make it faster, so in theory she could go back and invent the time machine before goku saves the day.

        But there has to be a timeline where she builds a time machine independently of ever meeting Goku and there's no evidence for that.

    That was a fun read, but doesn't this completely ignore every aspect of her characterization? I mean, she wanted to use the infinite power of the dragonballs to wish for a lifetime supply of strawberries and a boyfriend (It's true! I looked it up.), she doesn't really seem like the type to have the ambition, drive or desire to conquer all of time and space.

      I was just about to point this out. Bulma has never had any aspirations for power. She wanted to use the dragonballs to wish for a perfect boyfriend. That was her idea of perfection. Yes, she has always been a brilliant scientist, but when has she ever used her inventions as weapons? They have always been tools to accomplish a task, not to defeat the enemy.

      Maybe if Launch had Bulma's brains, this would make more sense.

      Bulma is a great character. She is smart, doesn't take crap from anyone, and she managed to mostly tame one of the most egotistical and powerful (and fkn awesome) men in the universe. She wasn't just someone for Goku to save. And without her, Goku might not have ever left his mountain home and the world would have been destroyed. She is as much a hero in DBZ as anyone else. But everything in this theory goes completely against her nature.

      Last edited 17/09/14 6:35 pm

      Hey, life's about the little things man, she's just SO smart that she figured that out well before anybody else.

    Interesting article, but extremely flawed. Bulma is unlikely to have ever created the time machine at all without a dire pressing need to go back in the past like with the presence of the androids , and in fact bulma would NEVER have even had the chance as she would been snuffed out as a teen in her little dragon ball quest the first time she ran into RR soldiers without goku there. Dr gero would never have built the z era style androids without goku as an example to base his designs upon. The RR army was built around mass numbers and would have taken over the earth without gokus interference , thus gero would have had no need to alter his design path , and it would probably never even occurred to him to do so , since his current androids were already sufficiently powerful . The rest of the z warriors would never have progressed as far as they did again without gokus presence , they would have simply continued as they were. krillen would have probably been turned down by roshi if he wasnt already training goku , and would have been a weakling and coward and returned back to his previous dojo , yamcha would still be a loser living in a cave in the desert with his cat robbing passersby , tien would never have realised his potential as he would have remained under the negative teachings of shen. Emperor pilaf would have been a minor inference for the RR army , and would ultimately have failed , resulting in his likely death , which would mean that piccolo would have remained sealed away thus eliminating one of the most powerful figures to begin the z era .The earth would have continued on more or less the same, apart from being subdued under RR rule , the world would have more then likely been plunged into a dystopian future under their oppressive regime. and that would have been that. without goku theres no story to be told at all , as there is no future at all for any of those characters without goku there as the catalyst. he isnt holding them back. he has save/redeemed/lifted these people out of their mediocre existence.

    Goku HIMSELF knows that many of the baddies who came to earth came for him, which is why he chose not to return to earth at the end of the Cell Saga.

    *spoilers*Fb pbfzvppbzcvyr'f gurbel vf nobhg jung vs ohyzn'f byqre fvfgre YRG n tnynpgvp zrzore bs gur cbyvpr zheqre tbxh nsgre ur ynaqrq ba rnegu, fnvq zrzore unccraf gb fgne va n znatn gung vf n cerdhry gb qentbaonyy, jevggra ol gur fnzr nhgube bs obgu znatn, jub fgvyy unq qentbaonyy ba uvf zvaq. Abj onpx gb cybg bs gur cerdhry, zrzore bs gur cbyvpr vf frag gurer gb zheqre tbxh jura ur ynaqf ba rnegu, orpnhfr vs ur qvqa'g ohzc uvf urnq, tbxh jbhyq bs qrfgeblrq rnegu, guhf erdhvevat gur tnynpgvp cbyvpr fraq fbzrbar gb xvyy uvz, fb pbfzvppbzcvyr'f gurbel fgrzf sebz gung

    It was mentioned by Goku at one point (I think in the Cell Saga) that a lot of bad guys more or less appeared because of Goku. It holds true for a lot of enemies (I can't remember specifically if Pilaf released King Piccolo because of his defeats by Goku though) though there were dangerous exceptions (Buu would likely have appeared regardless thanks to Babidi, Frieza may very well have made his way to Earth eventually and Garlic Jr himself would have made an appearance if we're including the anime exclusive stuff).

    But that being said, what was said in the article kind of makes me think that things might really go the opposite way. It's also possible that even if Bulma had the intellect and especially opportunities to build machines like the Time Machine, she may never have actually realised her potential as an inventor without having met Goku, and enemies like Gero may never have been driven to the limit in designing enemies like the "Androids" or especially Cell. And no Goku perhaps means no point in a time machine in the first place.

    Goku was exceptional motivation for pretty much every character (even the human characters like Krillin and especially Tien in their training) to pretty much push past their normal limits and gave them a drive they may otherwise have lacked even if the world was in danger (afterall Goku was even kinda inspiring - I believe Vegeta pretty much expressed that a bit in the fight against Kid Buu, and they mentioned this through their determination when helping Gohan against Cell - though some of that may be referring only to the English dub take on things).

    Last edited 17/09/14 8:46 pm

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