Nintendo Character Quiz Is Not What You'd Expect

Nintendo Character Quiz Is Not What You'd Expect

I wound up with Yoshi. Boy, it sure is depressing.

The funny-makers at Dorkly have built a quiz to help readers figure out what Nintendo characters they are. Like a lot of internet question queues, you click on a bunch of answers and some algorithm spits out an answer at you. But, unlike the answers you'll see on a sister-in-law's Facebook page, these responses might make you curl up in a fetal position and cry. Here's the description that you get if the quiz decides you're most like Pikachu:

You are a slave to others - bosses, significant others, friends, relatives, and obligations. You have never been your own person, and you will never be. The best you can hope for is the brief pleasure of sleep, when nothing is asked of you, until that inevitable moment when you're awakened - and the real nightmare begins.

Poor little electric pocket monster… Take the quiz at Dorkly as many times as you'd like. Just make sure to have your therapist on stand by.


    "You eat and eat and eat - but nothing can fill the void within you. You're a disposable part of society - you have usefulness to be exploited by others, but you have no agency over yourself. You are the world's Kleenex - except your ultimate fate will not have the dignity afforded to a used Kleenex."

    F**king ouch!

    Itsa me, Mario.
    "You think you're the center of the universe - but judge yourself honestly: you're out of shape, you're far past your prime, and no one respects you. People think they can take things away from you with no consequences, others are challenging you constantly, and the truth is that you're about as middle-of-the-road as they come. You're nothing special, and you're the least interesting one in any group"
    I don't care - I'm Mario!

    I was excited to get the result 'Link', but then...
    "You have no voice in the world - you never did, but are only now realizing it. Your opinions and desires mean nothing against the crushing weight of the meaningless reality you exist in. Others demand you listen to them, but no one will listen to you."

    Wow that's depressing.

      I got Link too. I was both pleased and depressed by the result.

    So are they saying we like and relate to Nintendo characters because they are flawed ... or do they just hate Nintendo and all it stands for?

      I think it's just the Nintendo quiz version of a demotivational poster or a line from fight club, 'You are not special.'

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