Being Scottish With An Xbox One Is A Daily Struggle

But only if you want to use Kinect.

Hello, my name is Mark Serrels and I'm overwhelmingly Scottish. People are sometimes taken aback by just how Scottish I am when they first meet me. The blank vacant stares of people trying to understand what the hell I'm saying: I recognise this look. I know it well.

If Kinect on the Xbox One had a face, it would make the same expression.

People think I'm exaggerating when I talk about just how difficult it is for me to use Kinect, so I decided to record myself trying to redeem a code today. Yeah, that was a blast. Literally I have to put on a posh English accent to have any hope of successfully using voice controls on Kinect.

But here's the thing: I can't even blame Kinect. Siri, for example, is 100% worse. I also have written proof of that.

Does anyone else have the same issues with either Kinect or Siri? I have never been able to make voice recognition software work for me ever. Ever.


    My girlfriend was on the phone to her granny while i was playing a game and the kinect randomly got excited and bing searched for "cum train n####r f##k toaster gay" or something like that

      The real question is...... what the f**k was your GF talking to her granny about for it to search that sentence ??

        clearly cum trains with gay n****rs f**king toasters, what ever floats her nans boat you know there old they should enjoy there twilight years

    I can relate having a Canadian accent living in Australia I've got to force an Aussie accent to talk to my Xbox... Ya know

      You know you can change the spoken language separate to the console region now? You've been able to do it for months lol.

    There isn't a computer on earth powerful enough to comprehend you.

    Maybe now that cern has the higgs they can turn their attention to Scotland. :p

      Sounds like a hard life eh

      Last edited 28/10/14 3:18 pm

    But only if you want to use Kinect.

    Awww, I thought it was because you only had 4 fingers on each hand.

    I also refuse to believe that Scots actually speak English.

    Last edited 28/10/14 2:30 pm

      It would be as much work as setting up an entire other language I would think.

    Och, tourn dahn the ahccent, laddeh.

    My PS4's voice command can be temperamental. My Windows Phone voice command is also a little iffy, any sort of background noise and it's useless.

    Here you go Serrels, in case you missed this one :P

    Let's be honest, it's really not "only with the kinect".

    That posh accent is quite convincing, your English is coming along well Mark!

    Holy crap, I never thought you were *that* Scottish!

    Reminded me of this:

    Fuck that was funny. Sorry, Mark. You're doomed.

    I have this problem. I try the US accent though, i find it works better than the english one.

    Here is what happens when Scottish people try to start a voice activated elevator:

    Most Scottish accents I encounter are no issue for me, having been a Billy Connolly fan since the age of seven. Robbie Burns still baffles me, but I think that's mainly a vocab problem.
    I do remember the days I had to put on an American accent so Kinect 1.0 or Android's voice commands would understand me, tho... very irritating. It's better nowadays (well, at least my phone understands me... for the most part). Your time will come.

    Im going to set up a charity to help people like Mark..........for just $40,000 (plus administration fees) a year we could have a guy stand next to Mark's xbox all day and translate what ever command is needed.......

    Last edited 28/10/14 3:12 pm

    Yeah, i've got an issue with Kinect, it's fucking shit.

    You should be able to shout "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!" and the xbox just knows what to do.

    I've been wearing a mouth guard like thing at night for whitening my teeth this past week and even though I didn't think I sounded much different the Kinect goes from 100% to 0%. It can't even recognise that I'm saying XBOX. I have to say it like it peed on the carpet and is slinking away because it knows it's in trouble.

    @markserrels Give Smartglass a shot on your phone with the HDMI functionality of the XBOX One enabled. It gives you almost all the benefits of Kinect with a nice touch screen interface instead of vocal commands.

    I wasn't sold on Kinect voice commands at first, but after using them for media controls I've been turned around a little. I don't even turn my controller on when I watch things on my XBOX. Being able to go 'XBOX pause' or 'XBOX mute' is great. I just wish the media player itself was half decent.
    I've been playing XBOX 360 lately and it's made me realise how used to remote free TV now. I keep leaving the TV on because I'm used to the XBOX doing it for me.

    I know how your kinect feels, my grand dad is from glazgo and you sounds just like him.
    We still have issues communicating.
    I remember going up to him as a kid and saying "foosh toosh ga boosh boosh?" With a grin as i nodded my head, he jut nodded and said "yes".
    I wonder how he gets by talking to others...
    * he is also partially deaf.

    Last edited 28/10/14 5:50 pm

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