Whenever I talk to a Smash Bros. player, the first question that inevitably comes up is “who do you main?” The characters you pick and play the most, after all, reflect you and your playstyle. More than that, mains say something about your personality.
People who play Captain Falcon, for example, are sort of doofy in my head. Players who main Duck Hunt Dog, meanwhile, are kind of trolls. Players who like Mario are traditionalists. Players who like Little Mac miiiight be arseholes, but only because that character has a stigma and everyone is salty about him.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and it’s inevitably led me to start associating certain characters with celebrities — I can’t help but wonder, who would so and so main? Some associations have logic to them. Some of them just make sense in my gut. Some of them are ridiculous. I thought it would be fun to share, so here are my Totally True And Verified article about what characters celebrities main in Super Smash Bros.
There is only one rule: they can’t main Mii characters, because a lot of them would simply play as themselves. That’s no fun — and the entire point of this silly exercise is to have fun. And as a final note, we won’t hit every character, but you are welcome to submit your own guesses and pairings in the comments.
Without further ado:
Drake
Nicki Minaj
Ariana Grande
Beyonce
Leonardo Dicaprio
Jennifer Lawrence
James Franco
Zac Efron
Kanye West
Taylor Swift
Adam Levine
Oprah
Justin Bieber
Sigourney Weaver
Louis CK
Angelina Jolie
Rob Pattinson
Lorde
Kim Kardashian
Amy Pohler
Aubrey Plaza
Miley Cyrus
Jon Hamm
Donald Glover
Obama
Gwyneth Paltrow
Lena Dunham
Eminem
Robert Downey Jr
Rihanna
Chris Pratt
Chris Hemsworth
Selena Gomez
Britney Spears
George Clooney
Zoe Saldana
Seth Rogen
Ryan Gosling
Benedict Cumberbatch
The Weeknd
Jaden Smith
Agree? Totally off the mark? Got your own pairings? Let us know in the comments.
Comments
4 responses to “I Bet Kanye West Uses Yoshi In Smash Bros, And Other Guesses”
Oprah wouldn’t play smash. But some of your choices do reflect who I think would main certain characters. I would love to see actual choices from stars though.
Seriously wtf.
Another quality Hernandez article…
I always make assumptions about people based on character choice when playing online too!
I play as a whole load of different characters (but my most-played is probably Captain Fabulous), but when I see someone online playing as Lucario or Marth, I instantly label them as someone who takes themselves too seriously (especially how all lucarios just roll about charging their energy balls -_-).
However, as soon as I see another Falcon or a King Dedede etc. I breathe a sigh of relief as I find someone who also plays the game just to have a laugh.
This is why I read IGN
This article had the slim potential to be fun, but there is no context. Perhaps he reads poorly from a NON-US market, but this is another Kotaku Smash article that arbitrarily lists Smash characters without giving any context on how the author choose them.
Poor form.