Imagine, if you will, that you have been given the ability to wipe one single movie from history and our collective memories, which cinematic catastrophe would you choose? Which movie was so offensive/terrible/insulting that you wish it could simply disappear from this universe?
My choice is easy. So easy. I don’t even have to think about it.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Easily. That movie should never have been made. Goddamn I wish it never was made. What the hell were they thinking?
What’s your choice?
Comments
244 responses to “Off Topic: Eliminate One Movie From History”
sharknado – the acting was so terrible in that I turned it off after about 2 minutes.
That’s kind of the whole point of it. It’s a terrible movie.
darren is correct. long before sharknado became well known there was a bunch more like it which are made-for-tv movies that are supposed to be terrible… like sharktopus, dinocroc, etc.
I loved Sharknado, definitely in the so bad it is good category.He is swallowed by a sky-shark while holding a chainsaw, and the inevitable happens, what mere could you want?Yeah, this
Toss up between Dragonball Evolution and The Last Airbender.
Both of those made me sad.
Edit: I went in to those two films with very low expectations and was pleasantly (albeit very slightly) surprised. In saying that, I wouldn’t miss them if they were wiped from existence. But then again, how could I miss them if they were wiped from existence?!
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does it make a noise?
simple answer Yes it does it most certainly does
I didn’t hate the dragonball movie. It was honestly never ever going to work so if I could find some sort of entertainment value out of it then I’d take that as a bonus. And I did. Not much but hey, I’ve seen worse.
That’s how I felt. I also went in with no knowledge of any Dragonball lore at all so that probably helped.
Dragonball definitely. White actor playing Goku is probably the least offensive part of that movie.
All of the Alien vs Predator movies; or at least they should have been made… good?
if u pretend both are one film then they aren’t too terrible. Sort of.
I liked the first one…
Anything after Alien 3 (Directors cut) should be shot into the sun.
Naw I loved Resurrection when I was younger.
It’s not bad so far as generic action flicks go, but as a true Alien flick it was pretty horrible.
The Human Centipede. Easily.
I enjoyed Indy 4 😛
I just wrote a huge comment defending crystal skull but internet connention spazzed as I submitted which made me lose it. Glad I’m not the only one who liked it dude!
One night me and some friends watched Iron Man, the four Indy films and Blade Runner.
Partly said to be intentionally inflammatory but not entirely untrue – I’ve always said since then that the worst movie I saw that night was Blade Runner.
The worst thing about Crystal Skull was be Shia and those stupid CGI monkeys. Everything else was pretty much passable at worst.
agree. most people I hear whinge about the fact there are aliens in it yet in Raiders there is a line “the ark is not of this earth”… I think the internet is to blame for the hate for that one.
Yeah, Shia LeBoofhead ruined it for sure, but also about halfway through (from memory)
When all of a sudden it became about aliens, it was like, hang on this is Indy, it’s supposed to be archaeology, not friggin’ science fiction.lol see my comment above. The Indy films ARE about science fiction. All of them, even raiders.
The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Plus like Wolfpacsnakepited mentioned above… no more far-fetched than the ark or the holy grail and their associated magics.
Magic is one thing, but Aliens are another thing altogether.
Would you like to see a hunt for a mystical artifact in a new Alien film? I sure as hell wouldn’t, because it’s supposed to be about aliens.
I dunno, I can see how one world can be entirely scientific and deal with aliens without the mystical, but I just can’t see how a world of the mystical specifically can’t have aliens.
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
The Arc, The Stone, The Grail. These are all alien artefacts.
Now the Indiana Jones movies are all science fiction.
You can explain it any way you like, I still hated it.
Specifically, Indy films are about religion – 1&3 are Christianity, 2 was some kind of invented shamanism I think, and Indy 4 covered New Age crystal skulls. In that regard, it was true to it’s subject matter… It was a cringe-worthy choice IMO, possibly made because a lot of Hollywood types would believe in it… is the next film going to explore Scientology?
I didn’t enjoy it not because of Shia himself, but because of Mutt, and the lathering on of needless CGI.
If the elimination of Human Centipede will also eliminate the sequel, then great, yes. this.
But if it’s one or the other, HC2 will go down in history as having no redeeming value whatsoever. It didn’t have any goal or point or characterisation story arc, it simply heaped atrocity on actrocity.
That was pretty much what I thought of the first one too.
Don’t you wanna include HC3 as well? Apparently there is a third one called Final Sequence.
Mind you I’ve only read the Wikipedia pages as there is no way my stomach nor nerve could sit through such movies.
I thought that never actually got made. I think I’ll continue to assume that this is the case.
I’ll have to politely disagree and mention it did have a point. The first film, while gross in concept, was far from graphic. Most of the violence is implied, rather than shown. It was a sick idea, yes, but far from graphic. After the media frenzy and all the shouting about how graphic it was, Tom Six went back to the drawing board and said ‘You know what? Fuck ya’ll – I’ll give you something to REALLY complain about!” – and that he did. That kind of statement, for me, justifies the existence of the second film.
If you wanna see something really depraved, try the August Underground films. I saw August Underground Mordum to check out the gore effects, and came away knowing that I NEVER wanted to watch it again. There’s much worse out there than The Human Centipede series.
In my opinion, horror movies such as these that spark debate at least get people thinking, and passionate about which side of the fence they sit on and where they themselves draw the line. Michael Bay’s influence on the blockbuster (with the Transformers movies) is far more damaging in my eyes. Homogenization and placation are way worse than healthy debate about where people draw lines in relation to morality, which seems to be the legacy of the Human Centipede movies 🙂
Jeesh – the wikipedia plot for it is brutally straight shooting. Not sure if I could stomach that.
Yeah dude, I love me a good gore movie, and anything Horror. But August was too much. Not in an ‘OMG I can’t cope way’, it’s just that apart from some great practical effects, there are no other redeeming features whatsoever. Great gore fx aren’t enough to carry that POS, haha!
Well I just fell into somewhat of a rabbit hole. The Angels Melancholy looks … interesting.
Hahaha, I’m prone to do the very same thing, lol, I’ll watch anything at least once! Also, thanks for reminding me about that one… It’s been on my pile of shame for ages 😛
I streamed a bit of it this evening (having never heard of it before) and I’m not quite sure what I was watching.
I got the gist of it though. It’s not exactly subtle.
putting my hand up as mostly enjoying indy 4 also. yeah the monkeys were dumb. and shia was a dik. and the ending was kinda x-files the movie ending stupid…but, i was happy to see indy back on the big screen.
The 41 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It
I really like Bryan Callen too (the protagonist), but man if that wasn’t the worst p.o.s film I have ever laid my eyes upon.
Wow that wasn’t a joke…
I believe started watching that once, when we were about to get rid of Foxtel and I was eliminating things from the iQ that I’d recorded and hadn’t gotten around to watching, in case there was anything important I was going to miss.
If I recall correctely it started with a weak riff on the “you know how I know you’re gay” bit from 40 Year Old Virgin then introduced the satirical versions of the kids from Superbad. The kid with the glasses was showing off his fake ID, where they took parody to all new heights by taking the original joke of “McLovin” and making it “Anal McLovin”. Under threat of my sides rupturing from an overdose of hilarity, I backed out of the movie and deleted it.
It’s this guys fault. He needs to be eliminated.
downloading.
If you make it past 20 minutes, I’ll doth my cap in your general direction.
You know it’s gonna be bad when you read IMDB’s character list who has the name: Sexy Woman.
Ughh. It was so very painful.
KotCS isn’t really that bad at all, it’s not nearly as good as the original trilogy but it’s not a terrible movie.
Seriously do I have to be the one to say Transformers? C’mon that movie is just the worst, especially seeing as it spawned the successively worse sequels.
that or movie 43
Transformers is passable explosion porn
Movie 43 is a suppressed memory
I didn’t even watch it properly, I was working on my laptop while the missus was watching it and even then I was scarred.
While I’m not a fan of the first transformers it’s more for the rest of the movies in the series that I want it nuked from history, they really need to stop. I know this is a futile plea and you will never read this Michael, but it’s enough ok? Just stop.
I cracked up the whole way through movie 43.
I was excessively stoned though.
Not sure that counts
agreed about crystal skull but disagree on transformers. whilst they are shite they aren’t too bad if u can turn your brain off for couple of hours 🙂
Haha yeah, I liked Transformers too 😛 Thought the second one wasn’t all that great, but I remember quite enjoying the third. Disappointed I never got around to seeing the fourth.
I can appreciate just about any movie I watch on some level or other, except for one.
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas.
One of two films that I have walked out of.
Dudley Do Right
Batman and Robin.
I love Batman films, but when I bought the old movies on blu ray I intentionally bought 1,2 & 3 separately rather than getting the box set of all 4 because I did not want to own that movie. (and after watching Batman Forever again I kind of wish I didn’t get that one either)
But Batman and Robin killed the franchise. At least it led to Batman Begins when they eventually rebooted it but it was a painful way to get there.
lol I bought batman and returns only for the same reason 😛
Now that I think about it, I did exactly the same thing. Batman and Robin was so bad.
But I guess it gets lost in among better Batman movies either side. So it’s not that much of an offence. Indy 4 however… there would need to be a massive return to form with Indy 5 to achieve forgiveness. And I can’t see that happening without a time machine.
Damn. Beat me to it.
Because of those awful Joel Schumacher films (which I had the misfortune of seeing in the cinema) it took me forever to watch Batman Begins (I was pleasantly surprised when I finally did!)
Are we considering the ongoing temporal effects of the movie’s deletion from existence? If so, then I would probably nominate Scary Movie. Without it, we would never have all those Genre Movie films that somehow were popular enough to keep being made.
The one thing I always wanted to see (once the whole Genre Movie thing became a… thing) was Action Movie. Except it wasn’t just a crappy parody of all the big films of the last year like the other Genre Movies seemed to end up being.
But then we got The Expendables and I was happy.
Or you could just watch hot shots
Or I could watch both!
Transformers: Michael Bay editions.
Alien 3 would have to be my pick.
Crystal Skulls was just stupid, but it didn’t totally undermine the previous movies… much
Pretty much all of the 1st 3 Star Wars as well, but that’s pretty obvious.
I’m still mad they killed off biehn for no reason!
When it comes to sequels undermining the franchise, Highlander 2 is pretty bad for that. Totally changes the lore, and then Highlander 3 pretends 2 never happened
unless u watch the directors cut which changes it back hahaha
Highlander 2 gets my vote. Complete nonsense. The “Renegade Edition” takes it from a 1/10 film to about a 3/10 by getting rid of the alien planet bullshit and at least trying to shoehorn the story back into earth history, but it’s bad. Bad bad bad.
I’d just eliminate the Star Wars prequels as they are. And replace them with these versions: http://www.kotaku.com.au/2013/08/imagine-if-star-wars-episode-ii-was-actually-really-good/
I agree with the latest Indiana jones film. There’s other movies I’ve hated more (law abiding citizen is the worst movie I’ve ever seen) but the indy film felt like a personal insult to the fans. Even episode one at least had a few decent moments and added a bit of usable lore to the universe.
Battlefield Earth.
Battlefield Earth is one of the greatest comedies of its generation.
Agreed. It’s hilarious.
I only wish that my comment could appear on a slanted angle.
Alien Resurrection. Kill it with fire. An utter embarrassment for all involved, and a stain on the series.
I love the first three Alien movies, Aliens in particular is my favourite film of all time. Alien Resurrection was just awful in every possible way. I think the biggest insult was what they did to Ripley. Sigourney is a fantastic actor and they basically turned her into a retarded android version of her former self, this made me sad. Also how could anyone forget the Alien orgy scene… what a travesty…
Cruddy phantom bloody menace. Worst film I have seen. Ruined everything!
By being a movie which actually had some back story and shed some light into the greater galaxy?
Yeah, TPM wasn’t a fabulous movie, but then neither are the OT movies. The writing is downright cringe worthy.
I feel like the people that criticise TPM, but keep the OT on a pedestal must have seen the OT as children originally. Only through nostalgia are those movies better than TPM….
At the very least, I give credit for trying something different, rather than just a fan-service [which I worry EP7 may become].
It’s a terrible movie considering it was designed as part 1 of a trilogy.
There is no real protagonist, and the only thing that flows through into part 2 is that a couple of people know each other. Everything else in the movie could be deleted and it makes no difference to the following films.
It actually explains the origins of the Empire….. the political manipulation and misdirection created by Palpatine to obtain ultimate power…..
It shows a lot more depth to the galaxy, both in locations and cultures. Naboo, Tattooine, Coruscant……
It showed the Jedi as they are meant to be. Peace keepers and elite warriors.
That’s not worth anything?
It’s worth something and I don’t think it is the worst film ever made, just the worst star wars film ever made.
There is some political manipulation there but basically causing a vote of no confidence is the extent of that. How he goes from chancellor to emperor is in the following films.
We learn about Naboo but everything in else is secondary. We don’t really learn much about Tattoonie we didn’t already know and Coruscant isn’t really explored until the 2nd film.
Anything we learn about the characters totally changes between film 1 and 2 so that is rather pointless. The jedi as they are supposed to be is good, but could have been done much better.
we also learnt about how c3po, vader, obi-wan and jar jar came to be 🙂
Explaining the origins of the Empire was probably one of the things it did worst.
Somehow from 1-3 to 4-6, (maybe 16-20yrs?) the galactic population has managed to forget that space wizards were a renowned and centuries-long-established part of galaxy-spanning peace-keeping operation.
Really feels like there should’ve been at least one or two generations difference in there. Can you imagine if space wizards existed for thousands of years of human history then were suddenly wiped out in a violent and bloody dispute in the 1990s?
Did they forgot about the Jedi in that time though?
I mean, that’s one of the things which bothered me about the OT…. there’s no backstory provided about any of the worlds or the people inhabiting them. They cover only the main characters and that’s it. Owen and Beru knew what the Jedi were, but they wanted to ‘protect’ Luke from it.
Apart from the bartender in ANH, there isn’t really any other citizen who says anything….
And yeah, I’m not saying they did it brilliantly in TPM. I’m not saying they did anything particularly brilliantly, lol. But I certainly prefer the broad approach to the story and universe in TPM, rather than the very narrow focus of the OT.
the Phantom Menace has a good back story going on – but the actual characters in it are monumentally boring and the movie has a tendency to tell rather than show (the biggest example of this being that midichlorians technobabble).
Still I love Episode II – the revelation that the Stormtroopers were once the good guys blew my mind!
Could not agree more.
I like all sorts of movies and can usually see the good in them and appreciate for what they are. I never turn off a film until the credits roll however I have made two exceptions:
1. The Underground Comedy Movie. Worst film EVER, not even kidding. Google it if u dare.
2. Twilight. I heard it was a cool vampire movie… my then girlfriend now wife asked me to turn it off (that’s when I knew she was the one!).
Scarface – It is the worst, most overblown peice of hot garbage movie ever. People claim to have seen it, but I suspect they mostly just see those deep framed images of a slouchy Tony Montana in with a couple of pistols and some fake money. Awful.
OR
Stephen Kings ‘It’ – Once again, a movie that people claim to have seen and claim is responsible for their fear of clowns, but few have actually sat through that mess. It was not even a traditional movie, it was a 3 hour (longer with advertisments) mini series made for television.
Get rid of it.
Oh no, Scarface is one of the greatest films ever made. Each to their own I guess.
Agree with It to an extent, been ages since I’ve seen it so it may be worse than I remember. Worst bit (from memory) was
When Pennywise turned into a giant Spider, that scene just looked like absolute crap.Apparently Gullermo Del Toro has expressed interest in remaking both It and Pet Semetary. If anyone can do it justice and make it a great film, it’s him.
Ok ‘IT’ wasn’t great but as usual with stephen King movies, the book was awesome. just read the books and pass on the movies.
I wonder if it’s a Brian De Palma thing…I recently watched “Passion ” and thought it was pretty next level terrible and was told that I just didn’t ‘get’ it and that Brian De Palma is a genius. I don’t think it’s that at all though – I like some of his films and other’s I don’t. So I respect your right to not like Scarface, and I still think Passion was pretty a objectively terrible film, stupid shadow shots and all.
A.I. by Spielberg.
The end of that film is the most appaling piece of schmaltz. Spielberg seems to have gone out of his way to turn an otherwise forgettable film in to something utterly objectionable.
Why did you find the ending of A.I. objectionable?
The whole resurrection bit was silly to the point of being offensive.
For example: Either the hair can create an exact replica of a long dead person with all the associated life content of that person intact, rather than just a gentically similar individual, which is itself quite difficult to swallow OR the majority if not all of ‘Monica’ is actually the result of David’s memories which makes the whole particular human tissue requirement totally superfluous.
There are a range of issues with the processs that make no sense and From the sci fi perspective “because advanced technology” doesn’t offer an way out of a mess.
If the result had been interesting I might have just suspended disbelief. But ultimately it was just a dumb plot device used to get to a sickly sweet feel good ending.
After sitting through that film and hoping to find somthing rewarding in the experience, I instead get served a sugar coated turd.
Oh I hated that movie too. But not just the end which I agree was just so crap. It made how depressing and ugly the rest of the film was into something truly, truly awful. I actually thought the premise had a lot of potential too, almost like Azimov’s short story the bicentennial man.
I liked the movie Bicentennial Man (with Robin Williams)
In recent history, I’d remove Enders Game. It’s one of the most unnecessary movies I’ve ever seen. Everything about the movie was meh and forgettable.
The friday the 13th remake is up there, so is The Village by M Night Shamalyan all just really forgettable movies that the world could do without
Oh yeah, The Village was absolute crap. The only M. Night Shayamalan movie I’ve ever seen that I actually liked was Signs, and maybe Devil.
Devil was awesome. And Signs was brilliant until the end, for me at least.
I liked the Village when I saw it.
I was so excited for the Friday remake. I almost cried when they had him pick up a bow and arrow and shoot a dude in a speed boat from like 100m away. That just goes against everything. sigh.
Didn’t “he” do that in the original Friday the 13th? I’m pretty sketchy on the details but I remember there was archery involved.
Nope. The first was mrs. vorhees but aside from that I can’t recall any archery in any friday movie aside from the remake.
Man, there are so many it’s hard to choose just one. The most recent one that comes to mind is Transformers: Age Of Extinction. It was nothing more than a massive steaming turd, and a big f*** you to fans of the original cartoon.
Totally agree with Indy 4, should never have been made. I don’t ever want it in my collection, but part of me wants it just for completeness, even if it stays in the plastic forever.
One of my work colleagues recently told me that she’d only ever seen one Indy movie, and it was 4. Couldn’t believe the only Indy movie she’d ever seen was the worst one.
The last 2 matrix movies.
I used to agree with that…. absolutely.
In fact, I sort of still do.
Upon watching them again recently, I realised that the stories actually aren’t the problem. It literally is that they should not have been made.
A lot of people are annoyed about the ending, but I mean….. what other outcome could there have been? A rag-tag clan of humans can’t ever hope to beat the machines…… what was required literally was some sort of ‘divine’ intervention bullshit.
I feel like they wanted to cash on the Matrix universe and realised there wasn’t any logical way to make two more films, yet did anyway…..
Silly Troguel, we all know they aren’t going to be the last. =P
Please no :c
Metroid: Other M
lol
Yessss
Metroid database did a poll on it & everyone who did the poll was mostly neutral, plus there are fans who have defended the games,such as the wikias and the website i mentioned before,as you can tell,i am neutral about the game
Dude, I can’t tell anything about you other than the fact you have far too great an obsession with lore and fanfic and other conspiracy theory type stuff.
I’ve defended Other M too, I love it as a Metroid game. I hate it as an entry on the Metroid timeline, and pretend it doesn’t exist. This post was a joke referring to that, especially in regards to how it had a “movie mode” that just played through all the cutscenes. Because the story side to it was terrible.
🙁 I still think that game was a lot of fun and up there with Prime
See above 😛
The game? Yes. It was a near-perfect expansion of 2D Metroid into 3D space. The story? God no. It both copied and undermined basically everything that was set out in Fusion.
One of my friends had a theory that it was actually a movie adaptation of the whole series, which I think fits pretty well. And also neatly places it outside of canon 😛
Only 1 movie? Damn! If it was a whole series I would say every Michael Bay Transformers movie. Just one movie though? Hmmm, I would have to say Dragonball Evolution. Sure, Crystal Skulls wasn’t great but Dragonball Evolution was just … there is no word for how shit it was.
This, Transformers movies have made me hate Transformers.
DOOM!
I wanted it to be soo much more, even taking into account a plotless game, I still wanted the movie to be faithful to my love of the franchise.
How could they wok a cacodaemon into this movie? I was so excited to find out how….
easy they ignore the doom univers completely and there was no cacodaemon.
Maybe the sequel (?) will be better?
D
I really liked that movie…
It’s great late night trash.
Two Little Boys, with Hamish Blake and one of the two from Flight of the Concords.
My housemates and I were watching all the worst movies we could find, taking turns submitting a bad movie to out-do the others. We watched most of those above; Sharknado, Battlefield Earth, I know how many runs you scored last summer, etc. We sat through them all and enjoyed how bad they are.
We never got to the end of two little boys, we turned it off in disgust. It killed our Bad Movies Series.
But if one must take a positive from all this, it lead to us starting watching all the zombie movies we could find.
LISA! YOU’RE TEARING ME APPPAAAARRTTT!
Spaceballs.
Burn the Heretic!
The Godfather Part 3.
If I eliminate the Phantom Menace does that have the knock on effect of killing the other two? Because that would be great.
Only if it has the even greater knock on effect of killing the other three…..
Temporally, that doesn’t work…
If I had a time machine I’d go back and put a condom on michael bay’s father’s penis.
Are you saying ‘The Island’ isn’t a work of pure cinematic genius?
What else would he be able to ‘borrow’ footage from to shamelessly add into later movies and fob it off as new?
Yeah +1 for The Clonus Horror!
Edit: On further thought of your comment, I’m not sure if that’s where you were going with that but there was legal action over how much The Island ripped off The Clonus Horror
http://www.cracked.com/article_19852_5-famous-movies-that-shamelessly-ripped-off-obscure-ones_p2.html
Edit 2: Hmm, edited once and it failed so I’ve done it again. Hopefully this doesn’t show up twice
I didn’t know about that one…. Was more referring to the scenes from The Island which he reused in the Transformers movies….
Who needs to shoot new footage when you can just CGI in some transformers into old footage? :p
But yeah, totally not surprised that The Island itself was a complete ripoff of something else.
Just watched that clip. Wow, didn’t realise that! Shameless indeed.
He made The Rock… abort him after that came out.
Yes I must admit that The Rock was a fantastic film.
You would literally put a condom on his erect penis every time he had sex around 9 months before Michael was born?
A) That is a lot of work
B) I don’t think that would work twice
C) ew….
What can i say? I’m prepared to make the disgusting sacrifice for the sake of humanity. call me a hero if u must.
Probably Max Payne. Not only because it was terrible in its own right, but also because I can’t see anyone attempting a better version now that it exists.
O_O
Yep…. this….. this is it….
I’ve never been so disappointed in a movie before…. Of all the games out there, Max Payne has a story which LEAST requires modifying to make into a movie!
They removed the entire plot element of the one superior that knew he was undercover being murdered……… Which was sort of the crux of most of the rest of the story! [besides the whole family being murdered thing].
I’ve totally repressed that movie…. I can’t tell you what the hell happened in the rest of that movie….
I mean, Mila Kunis as Mona Sax! That should have been PERFECT! What a waste of potential that was!
I remember angels with shotguns… I had somehow forgot this movie… do I watch it again?
GAH. I WASN’T GOING TO MENTION IT.
MUST… FORGET.
You and I seem to be locked in a vicious cycle…
Yes, I was wrong (with Highlander 2) Max Payne is by far the worst movie ever, coz it almost ruins the game, which is amazing.
All they had to do was make the game into a movie, no changes, nothing. Hell, they could of even got the guy they mocapped to be Max and gave him some acting lessons, would have been better than the bullshit we actually got
Dreamcatcher
Omg that ending.
Spiderman 3
YES! Big let down. I was so excited to see Venom on the big screen but they turn it into a sulk story about Sandman and make Peter Parker a emo. Had so much potential.
Have I not seen a single mention of twilight blergh!!!!
I did… u must’ve skimmed thru too quickly 😛
Good excellent call!!
Donnie Darko
Really? Why would you nominate this film good sir?
Well, friends and people I respect fall head over heels over this film, so I thought it would do the same for me. When I watched it, I felt the hype was way overblown. Sure, it’s got great tunes, but it’s convoluted. I don’t really use this term much but this is the hipster film for me.
Fair enough. I saw it only once as a teenager and thought it was quite good, but I don’t really have a concept of hipsteryness back then. I will say that you have described my experience with inception alsmost to exactly – only I expected it to be more convoluted than it ended up being.
Well, Inception was both a critical and commercial success so the hipster thing to do with that film is to not like it 🙂
lol – oh god! I’m a hipster! I actually did quite like inception, I just didn’t think it was the complete work of genius people were making it out to be. I also didn’t realise that Donnie Darko wasn’t comercialliy successful – one of those ‘cult following’ type deals
Well, the hipster way of doing things is going against the mainstream. I got nothing against the word hipster, heck most of my friends call me one. Just like how you felt Inception wasn’t what it was all hyped up to be, I felt it with Donnie Darko. I actually agree with you with the former, I thought it wasn’t as clever as it thought it would be. Now have you seen Memento by the same director? That one was better.
To add something with Donnie Darko, what a hipster would do would find a film that wasn’t successful, the more obscure the better. I should probably try and make a list called “What a hipster would do” and annoy a bunch of people in the process.
I remember distinctly when I posted on my Facebook account that Donnie Darko sucked, I hurt someone’s feelings, heh.
All you guys are trying to fix history by re-writing one random mistake. Not going to happen. Personally I’m going to try and delete the most influential movie of all time. I want to find the movie everyone involved in cinema claims is an important influence, no matter what their role is. I want to destroy that and see what happens.
I mean you can get rid of a bad movie and save yourself $12 that may or may not get spent on the next peice of junk in the line, but imagine going back and creating a creative void. Not just making a slightly better future but opening up a different, unpredictable future. Something you’ve never seen before. Get rid of Kubrick before he began and see what exactly changes. Get rid of George Lucas and see what impact that has on the sci-fi genre. What would happen if Hitchcock’s career never took off?
Some people want to go back in time and kill Hitler and that’s noble enough, but I want to go back in time and throw Gandhi’s brain into a T-800. =P
Street Fighter. Or Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Or Super Mario Bros. One of them.
In fact, just about any movie based on a video game, with the exception of only a select few, would be good candidates.
If we get rid of Street Fighter do we get Raul Julia back?
Australia, need I say more?
Come on, mate/she-mate. Huge Jackedman’s pelvis put in a great performance.
Any Home Alone entries after Home Alone 2.
Ahhhh, only one. UNFAIR.
Indy 4 is definitely on that list. So too is The Hangover, and Star Wars Episode I (with consequent temporal follow-ons) as well.
Noo we can put up with The Hangover 2 & 3 so long as we get to keep 1! Or did you not like that either?
Two of the worst hours of my life.
Shame you didn’t enjoy it! I think it was probably Top 5 comedy film of the 00’s.
I’d say X-Men : Last Stand but Days of Future Past already did that for me 😛
I am going to go with Titanic, because without titanic, the world would be free of Celine Dion
Harsh, but fair.
Serenity
Highlander 2 (and anything that follows).
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
I would rather remove Christian Bale.
yes that means the dark night.. but I don’t recommend people watch it to see batman.. no you say “you have to see it, Heath Ledger was just brilliant as the joker”
Jack Nicholson is way creepier. Hell, he doesn’t even need the make-up…
But American Psycho…
Very few people seem to agree with me, but I feel like Bale was a terrible Batman (although an okay Bruce). It was really the villains that carried the Dark Knight series (at least until Rises, where it starts to unravel),
This.
A toss up between dragonball evolution and the last airbender. I hate those movies so much.
I am prepared for the backlash on this so bring it on.
The entire Matrix franchise just blow it away completely… i get 5 minutes in to the first and bang i am asleep, I have tried on a number of times to get into it but just can’t, the constant crap i get for not watching it or enjoying it has been a constant pain in the ass for me since it was released.
Oh and Bad Neighbours that can be sent to hell with the Matrix.
Law Abiding Citizen. Worst Ending ever.
I know! I really liked that movie right up until the end. Should have taken a page out of Arlington Road’s book ending-wise I reckon.
I must say I was confused by the ending there…..
Maybe it was just me, but didn’t they just spend the movie making the audience get behind him? Only to then shut him down in that way?
Seemed to reek of ‘We’re the guvment! Try anything and this will happen to you!’
EXACTLY it. Like I was cheering for him. HE was the one hard done by. 🙁
My choice is very personal I’d say. Irreversible.
I’m not easily shocked and I’m open to almost anything but this movie left a lasting affect on me and the wife (now ex wife…not because of this movie!)
I don’t know if it’s actually a badly made movie as we didn’t watch the whole thing, but it left us feeling horrible for a while.
We went over to a mates place and he said we should check this movie out. I’m all for checking out these movies that are covered in warnings etc. but I struggled with this one.
He showed us the horribly violent opening scene and then the other horribly violent scene that this film is infamous for. That was enough for us. My wife walked out of the room in tears and I followed her feeling very…. I don’t know, empty? It was very depressing I guess.
I had images from that movie haunting me for weeks after that. No movie had ever done that to me. I’m sure there’s worse out there (Salo perhaps? Haven’t seen that)
So I would probably like that one removed from my own history/memory at least. Of course there are plenty of others that were just plain crap and shouldn’t exist. I think every one here has made some great suggestions and it really is hard to pick one.
If I was to pick one based purely on how bad it was made it would have to be Birdemic. ZERO production values. Yes it’s so bad it’s funny but it is a struggle to get through unless you are watching with a group of friends and getting drunk.
I’ll grant you that Irreversible is a tough watch. For your mate to show you those two scenes without any context would certainly put anyone off unless they were a nutjob, of course. The movie’s not an endless display of depravity – in fact, the rest of it has no violence of any sort in it (so far as I can remember, anyway).
But! I’m going to assume you saw “those” two scenes, and nothing else. They’re just two scenes out of a larger piece. The rest of the movie spends its time developing the characters, their relationship, and the underlying theme of the piece – love. That such horrific things can happen to ordinary people, who just want to be left alone in their love, is a point which wouldn’t be driven home without showing what happened in all its horrible detail. The movie’s about how relationships change, and while it’s a pretty grim prism to look at it through it’s still a valid way to examine a theme. Both scenes could have been implied and the movie would have said the same thing – but I doubt “the second” would have the same impact had I not spent an hour invested in why the couple is being torn apart, especially after knowing what eventually happened to the male lead. There’s a place for that kind of gratuity in art and I believe Irreversible does enough to justify their inclusion.
Apart from anything else it’s an amazing structure as well. That the film’s 3 act structure plays out the same way whether you consider it chronologically or cinematically (as it’s presented) is no mean feat of direction and writing.
I’ve only seen it once and will never watch it again but wiping Irreversible from the greater cinematic conscience would, in my opinion, be a HUGE mistake.
edit: Just wanted to say that I didn’t mean to come across as all elitist and that! I’d hate the movie which evoked that reaction as well, particularly if it caused my significant other (at the time) to get upset. For all of it’s violence and depravity … by the closing scenes, its quite beautiful. The contrast is what makes it, for me.
You are correct in assuming we only saw those two scenes. I think my mate was a bit shocked by those scenes so he thought he had to share it?
I think my reaction was probably escalated by my wife’s reaction as well. If it was just me I probably wouldn’t have felt quite as bad as I did. I did read up about it afterwards and found out more of the story and I believe that the scenes would have been quite effective at getting the message across.
Maybe one day, if I’m in the right frame of mind I might give it the proper chance and watch it, complete with the entire context. I reckon with that context it wouldn’t seem gratuitous either.
I am by no means saying movies like that shouldn’t be made. I certainly don’t agree with censorship and there has been some far better movie choices made by others here that should definitely not have been made because they were just rubbish films.
I guess my response to Mark’s question was probably not quite the sort of thing he was after. I suppose I just meant that I wish that I didn’t have that experience at the time. I didn’t think a movie could do that to me! So on technical merits, story and acting it probably isn’t a bad movie. Just, as you said, difficult to watch.
Everyone had thought of so many movies to erase so I was trying to find something no one had mentioned and that I had seen.
Sometimes we may need to watch something that makes us feel uncomfortable or challenge us and I agree to remove something like that from the greater cinematic conscience probably would be a huge mistake.
Thanks for your thoughts. It’s good to see a sane commentary on something that we had trouble to come to terms with at the time.
Man, everyone here was just having some fun and I had to go and make it all serious!
Kind of like a viral video these days, huh? “You won’t believe what I’ve just seen!” Totally. It’s got reputation, that “you won’t believe it til you see it” kind of shock value. I rented it out of curiosity based on a mate telling me about the fire extinguisher, but I also remember reading something from Margaret Pomeranz at the time, defending its artistic merit against the vocal who wanted it banned. So I figured I’d watch it with an open mind and I’m really glad I did.
But I doubt I’ll watch it in its entirety again. I’ve tried once or twice, just like Requiem For A Dream, but never get too far into it. Unless I’m showing it to someone after they’ve said something like “modern movies are all the same. No-one takes risks any more”. I’ll make them persevere with it past the the opening scene, but as soon as it gets to the “second” scene – if that person wants out – I totally get it.
Yeah definitely was a case of “You won’t believe what I’ve just seen!”
I did read an article similar to the one you mentioned. Maybe it was the same one. I don’t know, it was a quite a few years ago.
I have seen Requiem For A Dream and while it was a hard watch it didn’t have quite the same impact. Still depressing movie and I’m ‘glad’ I’ve seen it.
Totally agree about people having an open mind with these sorts of movies instead of whingeing about the ‘same old Hollywood crap’ and the like.
So yeah, might give Irreversible a chance one day, with an open mind, and see it for what it is and enjoy the contrasting/beautiful end.
(although the memories of that movie are linked with memories of my ex-wife so that alone may make it hard! But that’s a whole different story)
Good luck with it!
Afterwards if you still hate it, forget it was me that recommended it.
I’ll probably just wuss out and not watch it. Or watch it and skip past the violence as I already now what happens there.
And if I still hate it? I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!! Haha!
S Darko.
i second that, terrible moive
Maybe a bit obvious but the Star Wars prequels. And yes I rerealise that’s three films but they all deserve to be eradicated.
The Blair Witch Project
Not because the movie was bad- but rather it created the entire “Found footage” or Reality-Movie theme in movies that in general I loathe.
Actually, Cannibal Holocaust was technically the first. Just thought I’d let you know.
I’m stoked the genre is around… it gave me REC. Those first two films are amazing.
Cannibal Holocaust! Yeah!
Man of Steel. Anyone who disagrees can FIGHT ME ON THE SIDE OF THE STREET. That’s all.
what time are we dueling? hahahaha
*goes into hiding.
I preferred the last Superman to MoS. Go figure.
I thought it was ok but personally I think superman is the single most boring ass superhero ever… I think they did the best they could considering this.
I’m with you, dude. I’ll hold your keys, minimalist wallet and iphone for you while you duke it out with unbelievers.
You could probably throw in ever Superman movie since III, including Superman Returns (Supes getting beat up by Ian Roberts hurt my soul). I hope B v. S just says, ‘yes, MoS happened, but let’s not think about it too much as we depict a Superman that it actually identifiable’.
Man of Steel – good first half, really awful second half – just two guys beating the shit out of each other for an hour
For me, it was more the actors. Russell Crowe isn’t as good an actor as everyone has built him up to be over the years, Kevin Costner has had only a few good roles in his acting career, and Henry Cavill was just not a good Superman. The other main characters are decent actors, just with bad roles and awful writing, especially Michael Shannon, who played Zod. He is a damn good actor, and I hate Zach Snider, for what he did to him.
Harry Potter.. straight up
What the Bleep Do We Know:
So awful especially
a) the woman claiming to channel somebody from hundreds of years ago (scammer)
b) the BS pseudoscience too (which is what most of the film is)
c) wasting the talent of Marlee Matlin
Why did you have to remind me this existed…
The only thing worse than it is ‘the secret’ which is like a even more wishy washy version of the same thing.
1. Any of the live action fighting game movies.
2. Twilight ( BUFFY was better than this, both movie & series wise)
3. Michael BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY movies
4. Battlefield earth (saw the nostalgia critic video of it, so many inconsistencies to explain)
5. The new trend of bringing out horror films around the time of Halloween
6. Batman & robin
7. Dragonball evolutions
8. Stallone’s judge dread
Wow that is a whole lot of films i want erased
Dune(1984) – There is just no way to make it !
Aliens.
Not because it was a bad film in its own right (although I hated it as an “Alien” film), but because it led to the AVP films, the other sequels and of course Prometheus.
Of all the movies ever made and u say Aliens because of the crap spawned because of it? No. Just, no. Aliens was brilliant. Aliens IS STILL brilliant.
Man it’s almost like opinions are subjective or something!
I didn’t like Aliens. At all. Not my genre. You did. Good for you, go nominate another film and I’ll stick to mine.
lol take it easy buddy. u even said it wasn’t a bad movie.
The Hangover.
I HATE that movie.
Halloween 3. I would settle for it being renamed to a different film and just taken out of the series completely.
The worst movie I’ve ever seen is White Chicks. I would say it’s literally as bad as World War 2.
Naww Terry Crews is always fun to watch.
World War 2.
With werewolves.
and zombies.
That hurt.
Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass as I’m homebound…
Gold.
I see his face/dance moves every time that song comes on.
Dragon Ball evolution and last air bender. Pretty self explanatory imo.
Food Fight! (2012?) or Halloween Resurrection. Ugh
Nacho Libre. F*ck Nacho Libre.
Irreversible got a honorable mention, That movie got in my head. I just was thrown by it.
But, I wouldn’t take it out.. I’m glad I watched it.. I’ll never watch it again…
But I’m glad I watched it..
The movie I’d take out is 40 Days of Sodom.
When myself and a work mate were talking about horrible movies I mentioned this as a do not watch at any stage.. He thought that meant he should watch it and watched it..
No, just don’t touch that movie.. There’s nothing artsie.. There’s no reason for it to exist except for some sick perverts snuff film.. After my work mate watched this movie he came in the next day and was pissed off at me..
So, if you take this delete this movie as a reason to watch it..
Don’t blame me.
It was actually 120 days, but I agree. I disagree, though, about Irreversible. Even though it is a horrible thing to watch, it’s such a well made film.
Besides pretty much every Woody Allen movie made, my biggest let down would have to be –
Taken 2.
Throwing grenades off a rooftop so he can get a idea of where he is? The first grenade she looks around to see if anyone was near before she threw it. After that, she stopped looking and threw them anyway.
If I could erase one movie from History then there is no choice – it has to be Star Trek Nemesis. That movie single handedly killed off TNG by needlessly complicating the whole Romulan story (they’re basically an analogue for Cold War USSR) and by dragging out yet another Data prototype and another story where Picard’s DNA is used to clone him (both plots used before in the series)
Looks like I get to be that guy.
Titanic. I know it actually has artistic merits and there’s a reason it’s #2 in the all-time grossing list (the one I found on the interwebs, anyway), but I want to take it out so everyone has to deal with the fact that the top 10 grossing movies are all geek/pop culture themed. There’s your elephant in the room, Academy Awards.
In fact, it looks like the only movies in the top 50 that aren’t sci-fi, fantasy, or comic book related are Skyfall and Fast & Furious 6. And even then those 2 aren’t exactly probing dramas about the human condition.
Battlefield Earth! saw it on release at the cinemas, i need 3 hours of my life back. what a bucket of puss
a serbian movie
(shudders)
Oh god. I remember reading up about the plot and feeling ill from that alone. So glad it was eventually banned here.
Remove Batman & Robin (1997) 🙂
The Sex and the City movie.
Rubber 😛
@powalen
A Serbian Movie (2010). Thankfully it was banned in this country, but that film should definitely not exist.
The notebook hands down.