The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

It's so easy to resort to lazy and hurtful stereotypes whenever we talk about orcs. If nothing else, Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordorshows us how disrespectful this is. These monsters may be hideous, but they're also individuals with hopes and dreams -- unique and precious like snowflakes. Let's celebrate them as such.

What follows is a (heavily curated) selection of the best orcs that Kotaku has encountered in its adventures throughout Mordor so far. Enjoy.

Tumhorn Beastmaster

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

I've certainly had a hard time killing caragors. But I guess some of us haven't. Rub it in, why don't you?

Tugog Man-Breaker

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

With a name like "Man-Breaker," I guess you've already got your career picked out for you...

Malmug Flesh-Render

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Ditto for "Flesh-Render." Imagine trying to apply for an IT job with that on your resume.

Latbag the Reckless

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Latbag, you keep trying to kill me and it never seems to work out. When will you ever learn? Just look at your face, man!

Tugog Grog-Burner

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

I get that Mordor can be chilly sometimes, but is a flaming headpiece really necessary Tugog?

Thakrak the Hell-Hawk

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Dude, seriously? You're coming at me in a big bird costume and you expect me to be scared of you? Do you know how many of your orc friends I've killed at this point?

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Welp, down I go! I'm sorry for insulting your feathers, Hell-Hawk. They're very nice and fluffy and totally don't make you look like a drag queen.

Bolg Plague-Bringer

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

You know, Bolg, I have a great dermatologist I can put you in touch with.

Ghura Prison Master

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

I know you're the "Prison Master" and all, but do you always have to look so grumpy?

Kuga the Gorger

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Pssst. Hey, Kuga. You got a little something on your face. Up a little bit. No, not there. Here, just let me get it for you --

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Ok, ok, fine! Sorry. God, I was just trying to be helpful.

Otha the Pathetic

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Otha, hasn't Latbag taught you anything about trying to challenge me? No wonder your last name is pathetic! Go take a long look at those scars in the mirror and think about what you've done.

Ushak the Proud

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

I'd make fun of you for being an old coot, Ushak. But then I'd have to admit that I still haven't managed to kill you yet. I'll be back soon -- don't worry.

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

Ok, that's enough orcs for one day I think. Actually, what am I saying -- you can never have too many orcs. Please share some of your favourite bad guys from Shadow of Mordor below, and I'll keep the list going!


Comments

    One character I've been thinking of creating is a pacifist Orc Monk.

    Had one orc in my game called Glub-bub loose bowels.. Love this game.

    Is a flaming headpiece necessary??? They should be MANDATORY!

    I love it when you get overwhelmed and it's the tiniest little piss ant that strikes the winning blow, you then get to listen to the half-wit scrawny Orc (more goblin looking) try and talk tough, get promoted, then you get to see him get his cool looking armour upgrade. It's even cooler marking him for a revenge kill, going back and squishing him like a bug because well you know, he's a piss ant. Having said that, it's funny how often once a little runt gets promoted, they scurry up the back of a huge outpost/fortress, I still have 1 revenge kill outstanding because I'd have to kill hordes just to get to him.....but I will have my revenge....

    Ratbag the Coward is still my favorite Orc!
    Edit: though i did have another orc called Naru Who Flees... guy was bloody stupid as hell, he would ambush but he was scared shitless of everything.. including me but he was also a fast runner. One time he spawned and i didnt even know until he started running.. and i was out of elft shot to shadow strike to him

    Last edited 03/10/14 1:28 pm

    The best orc I've come across so far didnt say a word to me. He just held me there in sword lock breathing deeply and quietly laughing.

    Sadly I didnt have the power to turn him to my side at that point.

    I daresay that these guys are better cgi models than the crap they came up with for the Hobbit!

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