The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

The Wonderfully Hideous Orcs Of Shadow Of Mordor

It’s so easy to resort to lazy and hurtful stereotypes whenever we talk about orcs. If nothing else, Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordorshows us how disrespectful this is. These monsters may be hideous, but they’re also individuals with hopes and dreams — unique and precious like snowflakes. Let’s celebrate them as such.

What follows is a (heavily curated) selection of the best orcs that Kotaku has encountered in its adventures throughout Mordor so far. Enjoy.

Tumhorn Beastmaster

I’ve certainly had a hard time killing caragors. But I guess some of us haven’t. Rub it in, why don’t you?

Tugog Man-Breaker

With a name like “Man-Breaker,” I guess you’ve already got your career picked out for you…

Malmug Flesh-Render

Ditto for “Flesh-Render.” Imagine trying to apply for an IT job with that on your resume.

Latbag the Reckless

Latbag, you keep trying to kill me and it never seems to work out. When will you ever learn? Just look at your face, man!

Tugog Grog-Burner

I get that Mordor can be chilly sometimes, but is a flaming headpiece really necessary Tugog?

Thakrak the Hell-Hawk

Dude, seriously? You’re coming at me in a big bird costume and you expect me to be scared of you? Do you know how many of your orc friends I’ve killed at this point?

Welp, down I go! I’m sorry for insulting your feathers, Hell-Hawk. They’re very nice and fluffy and totally don’t make you look like a drag queen.

Bolg Plague-Bringer

You know, Bolg, I have a great dermatologist I can put you in touch with.

Ghura Prison Master

I know you’re the “Prison Master” and all, but do you always have to look so grumpy?

Kuga the Gorger

Pssst. Hey, Kuga. You got a little something on your face. Up a little bit. No, not there. Here, just let me get it for you —

Ok, ok, fine! Sorry. God, I was just trying to be helpful.

Otha the Pathetic

Otha, hasn’t Latbag taught you anything about trying to challenge me? No wonder your last name is pathetic! Go take a long look at those scars in the mirror and think about what you’ve done.

Ushak the Proud

I’d make fun of you for being an old coot, Ushak. But then I’d have to admit that I still haven’t managed to kill you yet. I’ll be back soon — don’t worry.

Ok, that’s enough orcs for one day I think. Actually, what am I saying — you can never have too many orcs. Please share some of your favourite bad guys from Shadow of Mordor below, and I’ll keep the list going!

Comments

  • I love it when you get overwhelmed and it’s the tiniest little piss ant that strikes the winning blow, you then get to listen to the half-wit scrawny Orc (more goblin looking) try and talk tough, get promoted, then you get to see him get his cool looking armour upgrade. It’s even cooler marking him for a revenge kill, going back and squishing him like a bug because well you know, he’s a piss ant. Having said that, it’s funny how often once a little runt gets promoted, they scurry up the back of a huge outpost/fortress, I still have 1 revenge kill outstanding because I’d have to kill hordes just to get to him…..but I will have my revenge….

  • Ratbag the Coward is still my favorite Orc!
    Edit: though i did have another orc called Naru Who Flees… guy was bloody stupid as hell, he would ambush but he was scared shitless of everything.. including me but he was also a fast runner. One time he spawned and i didnt even know until he started running.. and i was out of elft shot to shadow strike to him

  • The best orc I’ve come across so far didnt say a word to me. He just held me there in sword lock breathing deeply and quietly laughing.

    Sadly I didnt have the power to turn him to my side at that point.

  • I daresay that these guys are better cgi models than the crap they came up with for the Hobbit!

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