The answer was staring them right in the face, this whole time. Just make it using another Nintendo video game! In this case, Tomodachi Life. Never have I wanted to play Majora's Mask more. Going to be sorely disappointed when I'm reminded it's not a jazzy musical.
Nintendo's Best Ad In Years Is Also One Of Their Cheapest
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Some games are so bad that you have to play them to experience it for yourself. Maybe it's not as bad as it looks. Maybe there's some nugget of goodness in there. Maybe the pure jank of it all will be fun.
Sea of Thieves is no place for the solo swashbuckler. Bereft of boisterous crewmates, strange thoughts enter the mind. Thoughts like, "Well this isn't fun at all," and "Hey, if I stand on a rock the skeletons can't attack me."