Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

It used to be that only female video game characters could rock booty shorts. But it's 2014, and people are taking more pride in the male butts of gaming than ever before. Even the longstanding shooter Team Fortress 2 is getting in on the action with some brand-spanking new wardrobe options inspired by Lara Croft.

The snazzy short shorts that Team Fortress developer Valve revealed this week are the result of a Tomb Raider-themed contest put on last month. The goal? To solicit input from fans and players to help "produce some promotional content" the team was making for the upcoming Tomb Raider game The Temple Of Osiris. "All of the Tomb Raider games are fair game," Valve wrote in its November announcement, "so if you've been waiting for your chance to put the heavy in short shorts, this is it. (Please don't do this.)"

Of course, once Valve said they didn't want people "to put the heavy in short shorts," it became forbidden fruit — impossible to resist. Players accepted the challenge with a gusto. And a few weeks later, gamers can now enjoy Team Fortress 2's new "jungle booty" in all its man-scaped glory:

Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

For a point of comparison, here's what a heavy looks like wearing boring old pants:

Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

The short shorts aren't just for the heavy class, though. They also made a pair for the sniper character, who does his best to fill them out with his spindly legs:

Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

Goes especially well with the pink boots, I think:

Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

Of course, some Tomb Raider fans might counter that a full-blown male counterpart to Lara Croft would look something more like...maybe this:

Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

Or, the real-life version:

Who Wears Short Shorts? Team Fortress 2's Heavy, That's Who.

But Larry Croft wouldn't quite fit with Team Fortress 2's beloved cartoonish aesthetic. Plus, it'd be a teensy bit distracting, wouldn't it?

via Polygon


Comments

    Add a fifth laying down provocatively in front and that sniper lineup would totally pass as the cover to a Village People album.

    Last edited 05/12/14 5:13 pm

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