If you find that creating your role-playing character’s backstory a little rough (thanks to your sense of imagination being dulled to a smooth sheen), the internet — as always — is here to help.
Who The Fuck Is My D&D Character is a generator (via Super Punch) made by Ryan J Grant that will do as advertised. Click a button and you’ll get a complete backstory. Race, origin, background. If you’re not happy with it, click it again, and again, until you get something like this.
Or this.
Or this.
You may not be the most dangerous character in the game, or the most helpful, but at least you’ll be the most interesting.
Comments
20 responses to “Let The Internet Create The Ultimate D&D Character”
Damn work internet won’t let me check it out. What is this productive member of the team thing.
PARANOID TIEFLING MONK FROM A ROYAL LINEAGE WHO WANTS TO SMASH THE CAPITALIST SYSTEM
Actually sounds cool.
assertive Dwarf Bard from a thriving seaport town who always takes first watch
WELL-INTENTIONED GNOME BARD FROM A NOCTURNAL TOWN WHO IS CURSED TO SPEAK IN SENTENCES OF EXACTLY TEN WORDS
I’m alittle bit disappointed it was longer than ten words. If it had of been ten words it’d be better.
A Cold Elf Fighter from a town of outlaws who is a compulsive liar… take my word for it.
Edit – Next one was even more perfecter: a sensitive Dragonborn Rogue from a thriving seaport town, who realised the importance of literacy far too late in life. That’s brilliant.
WARM-HEARTED HALFLING DRUID FROM A DESTROYED CITY WHO WAS RAISED BY WOLVES.
Sounds about fair.
Gold!
BITCHY HUMAN WARLOCK FROM A DESERT TOWN HIDDEN INSIDE A SANDSTORM WHO THINKS THEY CAN READ THE FUTURE BUT CONSISTENTLY GETS IT WRONG.
hot-headed Gnome Sorcerer from a peaceful coastal town who mistrusts anyone smaller than them
It took a while for me to realise that you were meant to connect the two lines. I thought “a f**king” was like an old timey fantasy way of saying just “f**king”. Kinda like the old song “A-hunting we will go” but instead of hunting, its…well, you get the idea.
A RESOURCEFUL ELF MONK FROM A CHILDREN’S WORKHOUSE WHO STARTED A REBLLION IN THE NORTHERN MOUNTAINS
Hmmm, now why does this sound familiar?
AMICABLE ELF FIGHTER FROM A BOARDING SCHOOL FOR THE CHILDREN OF MIDDLE-CLASS WIZARDS WHO ACCIDENTALLY TORCHED THE LOCAL TEMPLE AND IS NOW CURSED BY ITS GOD.
I could spend hours on this site.
SENTIMENTAL HALFLING CLERIC FROM A HIGH-CLASS BROTHEL WHO DOESN’T BELIEVE IN MAGIC, EVER.
I’m a cleric that doesn’t believe in magic… OK
Clerics harness the divine through the will of their God unlike those so called charlatan wizards who trick people into believing in Magic.
helpful Tiefling Paladin from a very tiny province who accidentally torched the local temple and is now cursed by its god
I am so going to play this…
Sweet Dwarf Wizard from a large family who drunkenly swore a blood oath and forgot what for.
OLD-FASHIONED HALF-ELF SORCERER FROM A CURSED VILLAGE WHO WORRIES SOME OF THEIR MEMORIES HAVE BEEN TAMPERED WITH
FUSSY DWARF ROGUE FROM THE RUINED SEA WHO IS A RECOVERING CANNIBAL
cheerful Dragonborn Wizard from a town of Outlaws who is afraid of fire
GENTLE HUMAN DRUID FROM THE BADLANDS WHO HAS ALWAYS WANTED TO OPEN THEIR OWN TAVERN
Most passive character ever?
Also, this
RESENTFUL HUMAN MONK FROM A HIGH-CLASS BROTHEL WHO REFUSES TO BATHE