The Only Thing I Don't Like About The Halo 5 Beta

As a longtime fan of Halo's multiplayer I've been spending a fair amount of time with the Halo 5 Beta. Spoiler: I love it. I absolutely adore it. It's liquid smooth, the maps feel competitive, the weapons are fun to fire, the new movement options are well implemented. In almost all aspects 343 Industries seem to be on to a winner. There's just one niggly little thing that continually irks me..

It's something new to the Halo series. If your team wins a match, all four players, be they red or blue, congregate into what can only be described as a 'bro-down'. A period of about five seconds where the winning Spartans stop being gruff, stoic instruments of war and suddenly become a group of four dudes down the gym who just busted out some serious Crossfit WODs and are off to slam down some wheatgrass shots before taking in the game at the local Hooters.

"Bro, we just kicked your asses bro."

I just don't get it. Don't get me wrong, I'm about as bro as a bro can get. I drink protein shakes, I watch sport. At one point in my life I actually had a faux-hawk. I do exercises. I frequently encourage other people doing similar exercises by saying things like, "come on man" and "you've got this". I've been known to spot people. Badly.

Make no mistake. I am a bro. I am a dudebro.

But Spartans are not dudebros. Spartans are genetically modified super soldiers trained to kill. Having them high-five each other after a few slayer matches (read: sets) like a group of frat boys is flat out weird. It's out of place, doesn't match the tone of Halo and it's flat out obnoxious.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I'd like to see it go. At the very least I'd like to be able to select my own pose, so that I don't have to endure a bunch of Spartans high fiving each other after winning a match.

Cause bro, make no mistake bro. I'm totally gonna be kicking all your asses bro.


Comments

    Stop your whinging, bro, and gimmie five more 4v4 sets.

    Last edited 08/01/15 4:04 pm

    One defense some people are using is that they're not kids that grew up to be trained into Spartans but rather civilian and military volunteers.

      Yeah, these are meant to be Spartan-IVs, who are the same whiny, wise-cracking Spartans that were in Halo 4's Spartan Ops. Not machines of war like the Spartan-IIs were.

      Still lame and obnoxious... but not completely unwarranted at least.

      Last edited 08/01/15 5:14 pm

        Yeah, and I stopped playing Spartan Ops for that and many other reasons.

      And to add; these Spartans are competing in a War Games simulator. These S4s compete against each other like it's a friendly competitive sport during these simulations anyways. I do think if there's some option to change the animations you see that either modify or disable, it would be a nice solution.

        You guys can't tell them to get rid of the high fiving just because it irritates you, I kind of like it

      Yeah, Spartan Ops sets up Spartan IVs as jocks who brag about nailing babes when off duty. Even Sarah Palmer seems like she'd have more fun giving wedgies to science dorks than fighting covies. I bet you all $5 that Halo 5 opens with a kegger.

    It would be cool if it was more like the lobby inbetween Mario Kart 8 online tracks where you can select passive aggressive nice-guy phrases!

      Whenever someone posts "so unfair!" I'm like, "toughen up, pansy!"
      I'll never use that one. So lame, so weak!

    It's super super lame. Made me feel sick when I saw it for the first time haha. Lucky it has nothing to do with the way the game is played :)

    Agree 100%. I'd actually prefer the Smash Bros alternative of the other team clapping the winners...

    Well I'd go one step further than that even and I'd say the High Five should be outlawed from the game altogether, its just a bit of Seppo bullshit the Developers have introduced into the game, and I reckon when it comes to congratulating one of your teammates, there's simply no better way of doing it than with the traditional Australian hug or a kiss or a lick, a grope on the arse or a dry root, Its still the most appropriate way, I think, of showing one's exubberance and excitement, and its certainly the most masculine and manly way of going about it

      I condone this.

      In relation to high fives, I always feel so awkward when someone goes to high five me. Totally not a thing I do. I slap them on the arse instead.

      Last edited 08/01/15 4:17 pm

      "which suit today darl? the bone? the beige? the white? the off-white?the ivory? the eggshell? or the cream?"

      "yep"

      Yessss! I want to give you five dollars cold hard cash for that.

    I also hate the opening part. These guys are supposed to be pros and they are acting like 12 year old kids on a play ground. If you only play the games the only Spartan you see is MC, he sets the baseline of what a Spartan is, and should be. Could you see MC going all dudebro with high fives and good games?

    I'd like to have that few seconds added on to the time left in the arena after the final kill for reasons.

    At one point in my life I actually had a faux-hawk.

    Wow.

    Kind of petty, but I reckon they need to bring back the beep counter after deaths too. That new music shits me bro. Otherwise all good

    Get rid of the bro party. It's awful.

    I didn't mind the stances in Halo: Reach. But I'd prefer no lame posturing at all.

    Last edited 08/01/15 4:52 pm

    Even our professional SAS guys down at swanbourne barracks dudebro congratulate each other after training games...get with the times.

    I just hate the starting video and ending videos altogether, not the content but the fact that they exist. Just show me the map image then start the game. and at the end show me the scores with the winner on top. There is no need to complicate this I want to play the game already

    Last edited 08/01/15 6:26 pm

    for small microtransactions of $2.99 you can add extra celebration's. Such celebrations will include the Antonio Banderas, and The Carlton. There will be optional multi-celebration packs like the Will Smith Action Movie collection!

      And for an extra 99c you can get classic G1 Power Rangers poses. That does look crap though. Rather the winning team stand there while the camera pans from their backs to their front while rising from the bottom to the yeah. I just watched Bad Boys

        I'm all for classic G1 Power Rangers poses, especially if they happen in slow motion while an explosion goes off in the background. But what Halo 4 really needs is the Ginyu Force pose, with a random Elite jumping down from the top of the screen to make up the 5th member.

          With the player with the highest score doing a Recoome. Im so in.

    Forget the high fives, where has the beeping countdown to respawning gone. It doesn't feel right without it.

    But Spartans are not dudebros. Spartans are genetically modified super soldiers trained to kill. Having them high-five each other after a few slayer matches (read: sets) like a group of frat boys is flat out weird.

    Except they kinda are dudebros now. Did you play the Spartan Ops part of Halo 4, or just watch the cinematics that went with? The new breed of Spartans are not the same stoic 'abducted for military sacrifice' stolen generation of stone-cold killers as John 117. They're the new breed of fighter-pilots who haven't seen a day of real combat yet, riding on a high of post-adolescence modifications and reflected glory, calling 'dibs' on freshly-spotted fine ass.

    Last edited 09/01/15 5:22 pm

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