Give people the tools to build whatever they want, and they will probably create amazing technological wonders. Also, dicks.
We’ve seen it time and time again: if people have the freedom to make things, they will probably make genitals. Even in Nintendo games, this axiom is true. Nothing is safe. So it’s probably not surprising to hear that Besiege, the game physics-based building game where you create death machines that (hopefully) destroy everything in their path, has its share of cool siege engines. Also, dicks. It’s always dicks.
Here is a collection of some of the more risque Besiege creations we’ve found around the web. Enjoy (?). NSFW warning, obviously!
First up, we’ve got this rocket dick creation posted by GallowBoob:
The swinging balls are a nice touch.
Here’s a very springy dick posted by younasi :q that shows one of the constants of Besiege: anything you build has an equal chance of being successful… or of destroying itself in the process.
Important note: fire cum does not work, Besiege engineers.
One thing I appreciate about Besiege dicks is the wide range of penises represented. We’ve got the thick, classic “porn” type dick, like the one above. But we’ve also got thin pencil dicks, like this one by Jord Wylde:
“Complete with balls,” Wyld wrote on Steam. “Never neglect the balls.” Indeed.
There are also tiny dicks, like this one by KURENAIKONBU:
It might be small, but it still shoots fire. So, you know. Still dangerous.
Kugo finds that, just because your penis machine implodes on itself doesn’t mean it can’t get the job done:
MoonHeadJohn‘s experiment is a little less useful, but that’s exactly what makes it funny. Even sheep aren’t afraid of this thing:
The next few ones all come from a great compilation video by legiaoday. Here’s one where someone makes an explosive sex scene:
And one about a maniacal masturbation moment:
This one, the creator seems more interested in creating a flammable masturbation machine:
Similar to the one presented by legioday, here’s another sex scene, but by 2DWORLD:
This dick robot by Darksaber530 can’t seem to handle itself:
But boy, does it seem happy anyway.
We’ve also got some pump-up action by ImgurCritic:
And finally, here is a butts-centric Besiege creation, created by Spanwolf:
Comments
6 responses to “Besiege Players Have Built Some Amazing Penises”
Am I imagining things or is the first one firing a miniature Starship Enterprise?
The juvenile side of me is massively entertained by the creativity and I’m looking forward to the follow up article tomorrow about the vaginas made in Besiege.
It looks a lot like the Phoenix from First Contact.
Don’t be silly, making vaginas would be objectifying women. Patrica would never do anything like that.
Dicks have been a part of creativity since the dawn of scribbling. But now we can do it better, and with PHYSICS!
man I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.
Here I am trying to make cars with proper functional parts
This game has megatons of potential in it and I mean it – watch how it grows and hits v 1.0 one day
Thank you for “inserting” my “video” into your “article” <3 I think thats the first GIF of me ever on the internet…