The SkyCaliber water slide is about to open at New Jersey's Action Park. It features a 45-foot vertical drop that leads you into a 360-degree loop. Nope.
I say nope for two reasons. The first is that I am a giant pussy who would throw up halfway around the loop and get the ride closed, ruining everyone's good time. The second is the way they make you ride the thing.
You're not allowed into it like you are any other water slide. In this one, for safety reasons, you're strapped into a metal cage and shot through the ride.
The design of the cage cuts a little too close to this bone.