The last time someone mentioned this tiny slice of Bethesda Softworks MASTERPIECE on Kotaku it was 2009. That can’t be right? That can’t be right! Let’s get your Saturday ON TRACK, my lovelies.
Rogue Warrior was a Mickey Rourke-voiced first person shooter that was, almost everyone agrees, amazingly bad. The AI was so prone to pratting about you could have just shoved NPCs out of the way instead of killing them. But my favourite thing about life is that there’s something beautiful in almost everything, even the most terrible garbage.
Rogue Warrior was at least blessed with a sense of humour about itself, and a writer who clearly went around the office not giving a rat’s arse about abusing the hell out of the English language. The sound designer that cut together all the Mickey Rourke barks that narrative designer wrote is a hero, and should be treated as so.
Enjoy the end credits of this beautiful abomination.
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