I Should Not Be Allowed To Own A High-Powered Laser

In a very special episode of Toy Time, I demonstrate why there is absolutely no reason to have a 1.4 watt laser sitting around on the desk of an easily bored person.

Warning: the video above demonstrates that point with bright flashes of light.

I enjoy playing with my cats and a laser pointer. I enjoy playing with power. Combining those two is just one of the many illogical justifications for my ownership of one of Wicked Lasers' 1.4 watt Artic lasers.

I Should Not Be Allowed To Own A High-Powered Laser

Other justifications included using it as a lighting source for toy photography (it's far too powerful for that), performing cool light shows for my kids (it's too powerful for that), confusing squirrels (works just fine) and the biggest justification of them all — because I needed one. Everyone else had one. So should I. Besides, I am a responsible adult.

The sort of responsible adult who would never aim the laser at full power into the lens of a webcam he was currently using for a work-related teleconference. And even if I weren't, surely no one named Toshi would take a picture and save it as proof.

I Should Not Be Allowed To Own A High-Powered Laser

Look, we're straying from the point, and that is having a high-powered laser around for whatever reason you might need one is a great deal of fun as long as you can avoid burning yourself or your pets. Or accidentally lasing a low-flying aircraft. Or setting everything you love on fire. Maybe just don't put the batteries in it. That will work.

In closing, Kool-Aid finger my new, kid-friendly version of coke nail. There is no shame in this.

Contact the author at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter at @bunnyspatial


    I like the part where he has it turned on and is just waving it around.

    "I Should Not Be Allowed To Own A High-Powered Laser"

    Ah, the joys of irresponsible purchasing decisions and how they ruin the sensibility, intelligence and agency for the rest of society.

    of course in australia.. you know where this site is supposed to be, were not allowed to own or import them. http://www.customs.gov.au/site/page4369.asp

    Methinks there should be a beard warning on the packaging

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now