Think Twice Before Entering Dirty Words In Video Game Text Fields

Think Twice Before Entering Dirty Words In Video Game Text Fields

Earlier this week, while playing Square Enix's Chaos Rings III on the iPad, I was asked to name my favourite food via text field. I am not proud of what happened next.

Warning: I am a horrible dirty potty mouth.

I am milking my time with Chaos Rings III, a choice of words that will shortly turn out to be incredibly unfortunate. A $US20 game for the iPad, I've decided not to rush through its colourful turn-based battles and side missions so uncharacteristic for the series, taking my own sweet time and savouring each penny spent.

Some of the side missions in the game are of a more personal nature. For instance, when young Patty, an erstwhile companion of the lead character (who in this instance I named Fahey) realises she can use the mission system to make him run errands or answer questions, one mission is this sweet girl asking him what his favourite food is. A text field appears on the screen and a virtual keyboard pops up.

Let's see, I want to keep this short so the dialogues involving whatever I pick don't take up too much time. Something easy to remember should it pop up later in the game as an answer to a riddle or quiz. As no one else would be watching me play, it did not matter if the word was vulgar.

I would have liked the thoughts in the previous paragraph to be my real thoughts, instead of my actual thought, which was "Hee hee.... Cum!"

That is not a word I use in every day conversation. "So, how's the cum today?" is not a question I have ever asked anyone. My usage of the word is limited to rare appropriate situations, so me suddenly typing it into a text box is the old Fahey equivalent of young Fahey raising his hand when the year one teacher asked a question and shouting "FART!" at the top of my lungs. I was such a rebel. Or severely hyperactive.

Anyway, then Patty praised my choice of food for its nutritional value.

Think Twice Before Entering Dirty Words In Video Game Text Fields

Well that's not too bad, just a slip of the tongue really. She probably meant something else. Salt cod, maybe. Mmmm, salt cod.

Think Twice Before Entering Dirty Words In Video Game Text Fields

Stop. Stop laughing. Stop it. I'll make you stop. Did I mention Patty is my character's little sister?

That's better.

Anyway, this is another one of those cautionary tales. Not only was going the cum route (not to be confused with the similarly-named treacherous journey of the early American pioneers) silly and childish, it's made a complete mockery of a complex and meaningful role-playing game relationship.

The "Patty's Cum" inventory item does not help.


    I........ I just........... I dont even......... Why....????????????????????????????????????


    Doing that is one thing... then sharing it with the world is another.

    Kotaku America, where journalist integrity is spat on every single day!

      I actually think this is a good article and if anything makes me trust the integrity of the writer even more. If someone can post something publicly that makes them look this bad, you know they're honest. Everyone's done something like this at some point, we're all immature idiots at times.

      Also this is genuinely funny, and I say this as someone who loathes childish humour.

    The first one is pretty unsurprising and standard, but the second one... I don't know, that worked almost too well. Also a bit unsettling. Then again though, isn't this what everybody has done at some point.

    "I'm so not proud of this, that I feel the need to tell everyone about it"

    "Whenever you help me out, I'll make you cum in return"

    Well, that's one way to motivate someone...

    This is all I ever do with games - why is anyone surprised?
    With Roller Coaster Tycoon I give every ride/stall a terrible name.

    "Monica Bellucci's muff looks way too intense for me"

    "Morgan Freeman's chode is really good value!"

    That's nothing compared to what people put into the answers for games like Earth Bound.

    Rubbish article. Grow up.

    Potty humour, may it live forever and ever

    In RPGs that let me name party members I tend to end up giving the majority of them incredibly vulgar names. This seems like something I probably would've done.

    I don't care if it's childish. I find it fucking hilarious every time.

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