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    Man, I almost went and made a contextless post about how much all this kneeling is killing me.

    That was a close one :P

    My friend is moving to Seoul. He thought it would be a good Korea move.

      DC's account has been hijacked, guys. :D

    What's round and bites?

    A vicious circle.

      My wife called me while I was at work.
      "Honey, I'm getting contractions," she grunted. "I need you to drive to the hospital."
      When I got there I called her back and said, "What do you want me to do now?"

        This is something I would probably actually do.

      I visited a Mandarin Library yesterday, it was full of Chinese whispers.

      I'm going to try some dangerous coffee. Safe tea first, though.

      A Sparky (an Electrician – claimed to be the ‘Royalty’ of all trades) dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name and absolutely everybody wants to shake his hand.
      Just when he thinks things can’t get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologises for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand and says “Congratulations son, we’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”
      Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the Sparky sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says “Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the Ten Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don’t remember doing anything really special when I was alive. Is it because I’m a Sparky, the ‘Royalty’ of all trades?”
      “Congratulations for what?” says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man’s modesty. “We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you.”
      The Sparky is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech he looks up at Saint Peter and says “Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and found to be worthy. But I only lived to be forty.”
      “That’s simply impossible son,” says Saint Peter, “we’ve added up your time sheets.”

      "How fast do you think you were going?" asked the policeman
      "Try 130!"
      "Okay"... and I sped off.

        Take a bow after that one. ( ̄ー ̄)

      A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking.
      The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

      My wife walked in on me making love with the neighbour in front of our bedroom mirror.
      I said "I know what this must look like".

      "Goodnight honey" I said as I got up and went to go to bed. I'm trying to make the Vegemite jealous.

      Men apparently think of sex every seven seconds. Lucky I wrote this in sex.

      The other day I got a torrent of abuse. Which was really bad because it's not what I expected to download.

    Last week I received an email from a user which said, 'My email is not working. Help.'

    True story.


    I think I've cultivated enough Milk jokes in recent times, I have to say I'm almost udderly out of all of these cheesey jokes trying to make you cream yourselves laughing.

    Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.

    When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

    Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

    Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

    Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"

    Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."

    Alright, time for my favourite part of the week, Fun Fact Page 6, that I'm considering renaming to "etymology lesson page six" because that's all I seem to do.

    Speaking of etymology, we all know the phrase "let's get down to brass tacks" which means to get into the nitty gritty of it all, but did you know that -relatively speaking- it's a fairly young phrase (for an old in-grained phrase, that is)? The fossil record shows it first appearing in an 1863 Newspaper (The Tri-Weekly Telegraph) in Houston, Texas, attached to "if we may use the phrase" indicating that it was a relatively new turn of phrase at the time, and of questionable use in the "proper" language that newspapers of the time tended to use.

    All this said, the most interesting part of the phrase is that nobody's quite sure of what it originally referred to. Theories range from it simply being rhyming slang (facts / brass tacks), to a method used to measure cloth (measuring tacks were placed so they could accurately cut a yard, rather than guessing it), or that it refers to upholstery, and the tacks that were used so heavily there.

    Fun fact page six!

    After apologising with a staggering amount of insincerity today it's been revealed tonight that Browyn Bishop had taken a further 15 trips as a chair of a commission when there was no commission business to be undertaken.

    FUN! (@beeawwb)

      Yes I understand that she's likely just one of many pushing the boundaries of their entitlements and benefits however all this media coverage is really getting under my skin and I wish the old hag would hurry up and die already so that the rest of us taxpayers don't have to keep funding her chopper rides and cab charges to weddings and fancy social outings outside of working hours. And that's all want to say on the matter, perhaps even a little too much.

      Last edited 30/07/15 8:22 pm

        Personally I'm not a fan of the use of the word *edited out* here. But, uh, I don't like confrontation, so...



        *flees some more*


        *And then some more*

        Last edited 30/07/15 8:24 pm

          No problem. I really should be curbing my use of curse words being a dad and all anyway. :P

        I think it's a motivation thing? I mean, how am I supposed to stay motivated about my work and just above minimum wage when I'm reading/hearing about stories like this? Pollies can have their benefits and entitlements, I just don't want to know about it - it's degrading.

          Ugh, I loathe politics. In happier news, today I purchased Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on DVD from Big W! The catalogue has it listed at $19 but for some reason the checkout scanned it at $15, so, bargain! Unless you're one to download the film of course.

          Also from Big W, I picked up a DBZ Super Saiyan 9 movie collection for $34 - which is pretty awesome - I haven't seen this collection anywhere else before. The next closest item is the complete 15 film set from Madman for $119.

          Last edited 30/07/15 9:07 pm

          Hey, do you know about the high level public servant pension scheme? The one where they get payed half their last wage, for the rest of their life, then when they die, their spouse gets that till they die? All on taxpayer money?
          Yeah. They are phasing it out cause, yiu know, it was gonna bankrupt the country.
          But yeah. Our tax money has always been used to line pockets.

            I don't want to know!


            Got anything else? :P

              Nothing significant and reliable.
              I've given up caring much. What's the point?

              Yeah it's called a defined benefit superannuation scheme; it used to be in the private sector as well but got phased out. I believe they're slowly phasing it out of government but it's basically considered a golden ticket in the financial industry cos it's a secured income stream no matter what happens.

              While corporations phased it out quite quickly (I think Qantas still have some but are restructuring to pull it out completely) I believe our government still uses it at certain levels/departments.

        Interesting to see you have such a strong reaction. Usually you don't comment much on political discussions. My wife usually doesn't care or rolls her eyes and walks out whenever politics gets discussed but even she got loudly angry about this issue.

        This seems to be the issue that will sink the LNP above all others weirdly, yet they don't all set to realise.

          You are correct, I avoid political discussions when necessary. Which is always.

          I'd be interested to know why exactly your wife feels the way she does about the issue, if it's not me being too intrusive.

            She said she doesn't mind the government taking as much tax as they do for this g's like infrastructure, health and education but when we (very) occasionally struggle to find enough money to eat or find enough money for fuel to get to work because of the loss of that money so some woman making 200k+ a year to take a helicopter 80km she gets really upset.

              Cheers. That response is much more mature than all mine - I'll use that one. :D

              These guys are overpaid to begin with, then there's all the shit they get for free or as extra entitlements that the rest of us slobs have to pay for. Meanwhile they don't really seem to be doing anything in the interests of the public.

              If this were a different time in history, someone would be driving a cart full of TNT under parliament house, and we'd be making movies about them.

              I don't actually care about 'entitlements'. It's obviously dodgy, but it's small potatoes. A few hundred here, a few thousand there. Whatever. It's a bucket of urine in the ocean.

              What really, really gets me mad about politicians is when they dramatically restructure the machinery of government, shifting around units in departments, rebranding department and unit names.

              It's grossly unnecessary, but it happens every single time there's someone new sitting in the top dog seat. They feel the need to mark their political territory like a dog pissing on a tree.

              They CLAIM and hell maybe even THINK that it's about new strategic directions for their departments and that it will provide some kind of operational improvement, but it's horse shit because it happens EVERY TIME. Every god fucking damn time - if it were about optimal efficiency then there would be one solution and it would have been found by now and at the very least reverted back to.

              And there's no need for it. There's NEVER any actual improvement.


              But nooo, journalists can only get us all pissed off about some dinners or wine or car/helicopter travel or a book shelf... It's fucked. It's completely fucked. And it makes me so god damn angry every time.

                So I probably shouldn't mention the Browyn has claimed $933,000 of entitlements in the past few years then....


                Hahaha she spent tax payer's money to travel overseas for job interviews!

          They dug that grave when they targeted Peter Slipper. His $900 of misused entitlements has paled in comparison to Bronnie's. Glass houses, etc.

          Unfortunately the opposition is probably not in much of a position to complain TOO loudly.

            Hence Clive Palmer & Co. Andrew Wilikie taking up the fight it would seem, I don't agree with the sentiment that 'She's old and she should let someone else do it' but in light of the further reports of misappropriation of entitlements I think she has to go.

            When both parties have their hand in the cookie jar who exactly is holding them accountable? Public service is now defined as how the public can service you. Anyways as with the Colliseums in Rome nothing will really change; they'll make a grand show of Bronwyn and distract us with a new fiasco a few months from now and we can all move on thinking the issues have solved.

      My wife was home this morning and had Today on as I was leaving for work. They were running a story that Daily Telegrapgh had dug up about an ALP MP who had claimed $4000 on a holiday to Uluru and took his family... Except he was using an allowance that allows them to take family on holiday to assist with work/life balance.

      I know the allowance scheme is a hot mess and the MPs know they can abuse the loopholes.

      I laughed at 6:45am because it felt like such a desperate ploy by the Murdoch press to find an ALP scapegoat.

      I agree the LNP are blind that this could be their undoing. Also believe that which ever journalist pumped out that article has done so at someone else's directive. The story completely misses what is causing the general upswell of discontent. Bronny has splashed my 2013/2014 taxes on a 100km helicopter ride... to a party... to raise money... for the LNP... and a ducked off for of her mates weddings on chartered planes.

      I want to send a 2 word letter to her: GET FUCKED!

      I'll take my tax back thanks and do something useful with it... buy a car... or do some renovations... take a holiday to Perth and drink some nice wine and beer... something that actually helps the economy and puts the money back into everyone's pockets and keeps them employed.

      /end rant

      I'm a bit pissed about it... she's so damn blasé about what she's done it's sickening.

      /actual end of rant

        Reading that back this morning... There are more than a few unfinished ideas floating around that post.

        Guess it upsets me more than I thought...

      Here's a way to make politicians have the best interest of the country at heart; tie their wages to the lowest hourly rate earned in Australia.

      What's interesting about the LNP is Abbott's had like 6 different political implosions since taking office and his polls always recover; something tells me this will blow over long before the next election.

    I decided to finally play Dragon Age. I should have expected to be frozen at the character creator not knowing what to do, but here we are. I haven't even got to the actual character creation yet, I can't even choose a race or class.

    I heard that the city elves have the better story, but I can't play as a mage city elf. I don't want to play the mage storyline, but actually playing as a mage seems like the most fun thing. I also really want to play a silly-looking dwarf woman for the comedic value, but I don't want to miss out on the city elf storyline or the ability to play as a mage.

    At this rate, I'm going to spend even longer thinking of character names and choosing how they look.

      Okay, gave up and chose a female city elf. Now to spend 3 hours in character customisation, and 2 hours in picking a name.

        Oh craaap. I had finished my character and just needed to name her. So I alt+tabbed and loaded up for ideas. When I had decided upon a name, I brought Dragon Age Origins up again, it crashed. My character I spent an hour and a half working on is gone!

          Yeah Origins really hates alt tabbing. You can make the game run in a window though, that's what I did and it did the trick for me

            Shift+F1 will also give an overlay with the browser. It's not as functional as the Steam one, but it is more convenient than dealing with alt+tab instability.

      City elves unfortunately can't be mages. I think you can only be a mage elf which is a different origin story.
      Also the female origins are actually really good except for Dwarf Noble which is probably slightly better as a dude.

      PS: don't leave Lothering (maybe 8 hours in?) until you're sure you've been everywhere and talked to everyone there.

        Your "PS" is important. I played Dragon Age through to the end twice and both times missed Leliana. I had no idea she even existed until years later. :P

          I didn't even realise you could miss her :|

            I didn't realise you could go inside the Inn....

              I thought she would harrass you on your way out of Lothering if you missed her? Or maybe that's if you meet her but turn her down. I meant Sten but I do have a vague recollection of one of my other friends missing Leliana so maybe you're right!

                Definitely no harrassment. Or maybe too many people were missing her so they added that in as an update later? I know I was far from the only one to completely miss her.

          There's heaps of stuff you can miss in DA:O; for example the statue side quest in the mage tower; there was also a hidden ritual in the forest zone that summons a pretty powerful revenant enemy.

          My first playthrough I ended up killing a party member... Wynne, didn't even know she could join up until years later!

          Edit: Urgh reminiscing about DA:O and thinking about DA:I just makes me want to punch EA/BioWare.

          Last edited 31/07/15 11:47 am

        I played as the male noble with a white beard & hair & wrinkly skin.

        My far younger dad kept calling g me "Pup" :-/

      Yeeeah. I have spent more time in character creation screens than actually playing the game sometimes.

      Yeah, city elf is the best story & mage the best gameplay

      Best to do multiple playthroughs ;-)

      Last edited 31/07/15 9:47 am

      Don't let the others fool you with their absurd Dragon Age fanfic.

      The Hero of Ferelden is a human noble who ran away to live happily ever after with the mother of his child.

        The true hero of Ferelden is an Elf of the Circle that fucked up every bad guy's shit with lightning and fire but always did it logically and... adequately safely and saved everyone he could. He lived happily ever after travelling with a lovely woman and exploring the world with his knowledge of the Circle backing him up.

          A knife-ears being anyone of note? Mind your tongue, heretic!

            Ah humans, always so blind and naive. Always being the bully trying to feel superior when really you know we're better than you.

            Oooh, that's racial


    Just hit two million squidbucks. Exactly 8-)

    May have thrown that last game to do so :P Was a close one though, looking at the map I thought we'd gone and won.

      What does one spend 'Squidbucks' on?

        New gear and weapons. I've almost got every piece of gear in the game (minus the stuff you unlock via amiibo) except for ONE FRIGGEN SHIRT THAT WON'T SHOW UP. The shops seem to randomly change their gear each day and I keep checking but they come up with nothing.

          Been checking the randoms roaming the streets for the shirt?

            Nah, too much effort. And money. Gotta be stingy now I'm rich :P

    Fun Fact Page Six!

    I want to punch my homophobic dad in his fucking throat! :D

      What about his regular throat?


      That sucks. It can be difficult to deal with prejudices. There's no way I could deal with that. The fact that you've come out to him though is a sign that you are stronger that most people, and are probably stronger than him. Your father's just going to have to deal with it.

      Whatever he says, don't listen to him. Everyone else likes you as you are.

      I'm sorry to hear this friend. You're a good person Stu and at the end of the day that's all that matters, even though sometimes we all can forget that.

      Here's thinking of you and hoping that your Dad & you can work through this so that you're both happy.

      Fucking throat..because his regular throat just can't keep up with the pounding

      Use the spine of a bible instead of your fist! Education with irony!

    Should I get that second of 3 piercings I wanted in my ear. Or am I being silly.

      I didn't even know you had a first piercing!

      Troo story: my mum let me pierce my ear when I was seven, then when I was 9 i got a second piercing that just wouldn't take.
      It ended up getting infected even though I cleaned it every day & didn't heal up until I removed it.

      I ended up removing the first piercing in high school because kids kept calling me gay.

        I never got the link between "I got stabbed in the head with some metal and left it there" and "Actually, men are pretty great in the pantsal regions".

          Kids are idiots. We used to make fun of a friend for drinking tea and now basically all my friends drink tea. Stupid kids.

            I still don't understand tea-drinking. :P

              Me either, but we're the weird outsiders now. :P

          I think it's kid logic of: girls traditionally wear earrings & girls like men, therefore you are gay.

          As in, no logic.

            My favourite one was where the boys who hung around with the girls in the playground were labelled as gay.

            I'm sure it made sense at the time.

              Haha, though truthfully a lot of them might have been gay, more comfortable with girls than boys, etc. XD Although yeah, hanging out with girls doesn't make you gay as a rule and it's just a stupid assumption to make. Just a lot of gay guys did is all. :P

              It's more a culture thing. Ideally boys and girls should have been able to hang out fine, but that's not what people did in the school yard and if you did something different to everyone else you were weeeeeird. :D

              Last edited 31/07/15 10:23 am

                Just remembered, one of my mates in high school told another mate I was weird because I watched a lot of foreign films on sbs

                  Totally their loss mate.

                  The 'foreign' films on Saturday nights on SBS were amazing.

                  My clearest memory is a film where a church gets bricked up with some nun's inside. Ends up with rather attractive busty nuns running around topless going crazy. No idea what it's called and I'm sure it was entirely inappropriate for 12 y/o me to be watching. Still awesome.


                  Oh yeah, he's an idiot. I laughed when I was told.

                  The movie that I remember most is Black Holes where I guy dates a hooker &...

                  Maybe a story for another time.

                  But one of the bookers gets robbed & walks home naked. There's this loooong shot of her walking toward the camera from the distance & it's hard to make out features. You presume she has panties on but as she gets close enough you realise she has the thickest, bushiest Bush that ever did bush.

          You like being stabbed in the ear. You might like being jabbed in the rear too! #HighSchoolLogic #FearTheDifferent

            It rhymes, so it must be true!

    Seeing all these articles pop up lately lambasting devs for getting publishers after kickstarters (eg: Shenmue, Red Ash) and now I get an email from Playtonic telling me Yooka Laylee will be published by Team 17.

      I'm not a big fan of kickstarting to get a publisher, but as long as it's a fully disclosed goal of the campaign I have no issues. Was the Team 17 thing a shock or were they always planning on finding someone?

        Never mentioned it. They're framing it as Team 17 handling the QA and support while they concentrate on making the game while completely missing any mention of funding from them. It would be silly to assume there wouldn't be any but some transparency would be nice.

          The thing I read about it said they were always open to finding a publisher and said that from the start.

          I never followed the KS close enough to say whether that was the case or not, but *shrug*

      Haven't heard about Red Ash, but from what I understand the "problem" with ones like Shenmue and Bloodstained is they're being funded by these outside sources already while asking people for money, so I guess it kind of feels like double-dipping? Or at the very least, being a bit disingenuous. Though with Team 17 they seem to just be handling the publishing side of things for Playtonic and aren't actually funding the game at all.

      I like the part where there's a possibility of getting a physical release from this, so I'm happy to hear it :P

        It's not going to be much of a game with purely the kickstarter funding it. And Team 17 won't be doing it all for free.

        I don't think it's a problem if they're honest about it, see my verbal diarrhoea below

      All I ever cared about was getting more of what I like. Exactly how it became a thing (outside of child labour, deforestation or clubbing baby seals) was never an issue.

      So, if down the track they got a publisher & it improves the thing, then great.

      I do believe they should be as upfront as possible from the beginning though.
      So, if they already have a publisher, they should say so. If they can't say who, fair enough, but still be upfront & say all that.

      The two I backed, Shenmue & Bloodstained had publishers beforehand.
      Bloodstained said it straight up, it was in the first video. Something along the lines of "We have a publisher if this ks is successful".

      Shenmue on the otber hand did it's best to cover up the fact they had two publishers. Which is total bullshit. It confused matters & gives people the wrong idea of what kind of cash is needed, which in the long run is even worse for future kickstarters.

      On another similar but unrelated point:


    Does Indiegala use USD or AUD?
    I will pay $30, but I feel $40 is too much. This is why i am asking.

    Last edited 31/07/15 10:33 am

      Just an FYI in case you can't decide and miss out, it's been $43 on OGS for a Steam key since release.

      EDIT: Also, at a regular price of $60 on Indiegala I'd assume it's USD.

      Last edited 31/07/15 10:47 am

      I can't find a definitive answer on the site. They claim on things like tax it will check your IP for which country you live in but nothing that says "prices are set to your IP".

      Oh yeah you like hidden mystery games yeah? Indiegala has a hidden mystery bundle, $2.50 for 12 games, unless you already have them I suppose :-P

        Yup, own all of them. Mum likes that company so I signed her up to be a Beta tester

    @negativezero I managed to track down and watch the first episode of Sakura Wars. You weren't kidding about the whole 1920s Japan thing. I love the style of it (even if the animation is quite dated now) but the thing that sold me most was the opera and theatre music. Holy crap was it good. Not sure if I want to keep watching the dub version I found but I'm definitely sold on the setting.

      Animation is dated? I don't remember it being bad. Was by hand yes?

      Do you prefer the cg stuff?

        I believe it was by hand but it was more the style of drawing that showed its age. It has that late 90s animation style with sharp, angular faces. It's not bad but it is distinctly different from newer animation styles.

        I don't mind CG stuff and I don't really have a favourite style of animation. Unless the animation quality is really terrible bordering on a slideshow, I generally don't judge an animation too much.

          Oh man, I have a nostalgic boner for that 90s angular stuff.

          I seem to be traveling backwards in time with anime, I don't like too much of the modern styles & I'm getting more & more into the 70s & 80s stuff I used to think looked lame.

          Also, I find some (not all, Innocence is an example of it looking amazing) CG stuff to rely too much on the computer & take on this lifeless, flash animation look.

          I can appreciate a good flash animation from someone with zero budget, but I expect a lot more from a studio.

            Yeah I agree. CG stuff can be awesome but when it's shoddy or cheaply done, it looks absolutely terrible. I imagine that it's mostly due to unfamiliarity but still, as you say, a studio should be able to get things looking at least halfway decent in CG.

        The style of it is very late 90s. Also because it's Kousuke Fujishima's character designs it's got a very 'classic' look to it if you've watched a bit of 90s anime, since he also did the design work for Ah! My Goddess and You're Under Arrest.

      Nooo, don't watch it dubbed. The dub was bad and the Japanese cast is awesome. Chisa Yokoyama absolutely knocks it out of the park as Sakura. Incredible presence.

      And yeah, the music is rad. Has One of my favourite opening pieces ever.

        Noted. I shall search for an appropriate subbed version and try and watch through it all eventually.

    Got a phone call about a job application I've been waiting over a month to hear about. Totally got an interview.

    Oh yeeeaaah, this is what NERVOUS AS SHIT feels like.

      Break a leg, literally, break a leg. Every one of your competition. Who wants to hire someone with a broken leg

        Break your own leg, less legal backlash plus bonus sympathy and if you don't get the job you can call A Current Affair and say they refused you the job because of your leg and how its discrimination

      Just remember:

      If they ask what to do when a server crashes, the answer is to reboot it 3 times.

        Backup system crashed. Data corrupt.

        Updated Adobe Reader, went to lunch.

          Oh God, all the bullshit tends to happen at lunch, amirite?

        And remind them NEVER to type "Google" into Google!

      Totally read that as "this is what a nervous shit feels like".

      Good luck!

      With the interview I mean.

    First day at work wearing my glasses today.

    Half the people who I said "Good Morning" to did not acknowledged them. Which is... good? Maybe they just haven't actually looked at my face before today.

    But hey, it's almost lunch time and my eyes aren't spazzing out already so it's a win regardless!

      I've had a beard for over two and a half years. When I showed a render of myself to a co-worker, she said "Oh, are you going to grow a beard now?"

      She hadn't noticed my face in nearly three years.

      Never underestimate just how little attention your co-workers pay to you. They might not have noticed your glasses, or they might think you've always had them!

      Last edited 31/07/15 11:50 am