The 6 Best Games While You're On The Toilet At Work

Working in the office can be dreary sometimes. That's where toilet gaming comes to the rescue.

The potential and power of mobile gaming has always intrigued me. But for a long time I always viewed it in an incredibly narrow prism, an activity that on the work commute, when you were stuck with nothing to do or when you were on a long flight.

It took my former team leader to open my eyes -- figuratively -- to the joys of gaming on the loo. For him, a man with a stressful job, awful hours and a young family, the toilet was his one uninterrupted opportunity for entertainment. It was the one time he could be left in peace and quiet.

Nobody was going to disturb their father, their husband while they were mid-poop. So why would they notice if he took a few extra minutes than normal?

It was this logic that led me to realise the supreme potential smartphones have for making your office life a little bit easier -- thanks to extended toilet breaks by the joy of video games.

Obviously not all mobile games are toilet appropriate. They can't require too much time on the loo, lest you become comfortable. They also shouldn't require any sound, since you don't want to let your colleagues know how much you're slacking off. And ideally they shouldn't require too much thought, since you're already pre-occupied.

So with that, here are six of the best games to play while you're doing the business. They're not the only games available, but they are tried and tested -- so to speak.

Wordament (Free, Microsoft Studios, Android/iOS/Windows Phone)

Wordament is Boggle on speed. Much like the Bejeweled Blitz frenzy that hit Facebook a few years ago, Wordament takes cross-play, achievements, leaderboards and combines it into an addictive two minute package.

There are a few alternatives to Wordament, but I always found their dictionaries to be a little loose with what qualified as a "real" word. It also helps that Wordament has the cleanest UI of the games I played, with the blue and yellow tileset pleasant and relaxing to look at.

The only downside is that it's a multiplayer game that requires a constant internet connection. Not every toilet has that luxury, although that probably explains why the disabled toilet at my former office was so unusually popular.

It was in range of the work Wi-Fi.

Stick Cricket (Free, Cann Creative, iOS/Android)

The immediate downside here is that you have to actually be a fan of the sport to enjoy Stick Cricket. Once you get past that stumbling block though, Stick Cricket is actually perfectly designed for sneaking a few extra minutes away from the boss.

It's a game that can be played with one hand, allowing for optimal multi-toilet-tasking if necessary. The gameplay is purely reactionary -- watch the ball and press right or left. You also don't require an internet connection, which is great if your toilet happens to be lined with lead or inconveniently located.

Another mark against Stick Cricket is also the level of microtransactions, although none of the purchases are strictly necessary. If it's a problem, however, you might want to also check out SUPER CRICKET 2 on Android, another locally-developed title that offers similarly simple gameplay and -- crucially -- the ability to save mid-innings.

Death Rally (Free, Remedy Entertainment, Android/iOS)

I'm talking about the remake of Death Rally, not the original that Remedy released on PC before they became known for Alan Wake and the Max Payne series. It's a combat racer that's free-to-play with in-game microtransactions -- like the other two -- but I never had or felt any need to purchase a single item beyond what I earned through gameplay.

It runs pretty smoothly on older devices and doesn't need an internet connection. The cars handle incredibly well and the guns are pretty satisfying to use. There is a decent amount of variety in the tracks as well, although you will end up replaying a few as you go through the different modes, boss battles and mirror tracks.

If you're after something that has no microtransactions at all and is more focused on the traditional idea of racing, Reckless Racing 2 is a solid alternative. It costs $2.18 on the Google Play store and has a more logical progression model that I found a little more satisfying than Reckless Racing 3's.

10000000 ($2.99/US$3.79, EightyEight Games LTD, Android/iOS)

We featured 10 Million a few years ago and it still stands tall as one of the best toilet time wasters imaginable. There's no internet connection required. The game can be played with one hand. It's a twist on a match-three game, with some light RPG elements and enough replayability for a couple of weeks' of extended breaks.

Each run through the dungeon takes anywhere from 20 or 30 seconds to a couple of minutes, allowing you to fit in a nice chunk of dungeon crawling before returning to the monotony of your working life. It's just the right amount that lets you get enough progression in without having to feel like your pooping time is becoming inconspicuous.

Out There: Ω Edition ($6.49/$5.99, Mi-Clos Studio, iOS/Android)

Not everyone wants a quick and dirty gaming experience, however. Some people want something they can enjoy for weeks, months on end. Sometimes you want something more meaningful, the glue between your working day that has enough substance to be there with you on the train ride home, and the commute in the morning.

Out There pretty much fits the bill. It's a slightly simpler take on Faster Than Light where you're a single astronaut tasked with making your way across the galaxy.

It's a contemplative game, so there's no need for two hands or fast reactions. The game always remembered my last position whenever I turned off the phone and re-opened the application, so concerns about saving is unwarranted.

There's four separate endings, plenty of ships to upgrade and plunder, a variety of randomised encounters and an art style perfectly suited for the time-wasting occasion. Two thumbs and one astronaut way up.

NBA JAM ($1.29/$6.49, EA, iOS/Android)

If you have a choice of mobile ecosystems I strongly prefer the upfront model on Android, where one purchase unlocks all teams. However, it's worth noting that despite the many, many hours (and breaks) I sank into NBA JAM on mobile, I didn't play the vast majority of teams.

Do you, for instance, really want to play as the 76ers? Or the Orlando Magic? Or the Denver Nuggets? Probably not. Sure, there are plenty of masochists out there -- but for everyone else, the iOS version will inevitably be a far cheaper way to experience NBA JAM.

You'll need both hands to enjoy the experience but the ability to save at any point and having two or three minute halves is perfect for getting the absolute most out of your late lunch break. It also ran quite well on my older Samsung Galaxy S3, which is a plus for those who don't upgrade their phones frequently.


Comments

    I usually play Tetris DX (GB colour) or Street Fighter II Turbo Hyper Fighting (PSP) while sitting on the can @work

    Last edited 18/08/15 1:08 pm

    I've actually snuck both my vita & 3DS into the crapper at work a few times.

      All I can think of is someone opening the cistern and pulling out a sealed bag with a 3DS/Vita like they do with guns in movies.

      Yep. I can say that Project Diva F songs are about the right length to take a shit to, and currently I take my 3DS XL and get a bit of dungeon crawling done (Persona Q) while dumping.

    Just recently finished a game of Hearthstone on the ol' crapper at work :-S

      Ever since Hearthstone came out on mobile the average amount of time spent to take a crap at work has increased to that of a single game.

        You have excellent self control for playing just a single game.

          I only play two games if I'm playing Face Hunter. Takes too long otherwise.

            I just looked after Face Hunter, very interesting looking Deck! I play a Paladin deck, I don't know how to describe it though. I play a LOT of minions and try pumping them up with spells etc. Get as many mnions as I can out on the board, pump them up with a spell card and if I have enough mana/minions I get a sea giant on the field.

              Patron Warrior. It feels dirty, but i'm fine with that.

    Ok, so that header image... Is there a market for stock images of people sitting on toilets? Or is this one of those "Don't go looking through my internet history" type images?

    I used to game on the loo at work but then I realised that toilet time is better served for micro naps. Priorities, I have them.

      Micro naps are dangerous in the loo. I once fell asleep for 45mins, (I was trying to cram as many shifts into a week as legally possible at the casino I worked at and I had reached physical exhaustion) they thought I abandoned my shift until someone thought to come yelling in the work toilet looking for me.

      I had twisted around to the side tilted my neck and was using the cystern as the world's most uncomfortable pillow, the thing is I'd also cut off the blood supply to one leg... I was startled awake, had a quick wipe, pulled my trousers up and bolted through the door before my dead leg collapsed out from underneath me and I hit the ground hard.

      The dead leg, and bump on the head is probably what saved me from getting fired... they were concerned about the work place health and safety blowback so we just had a bit of a mutual agreement that I would be given a psych assessment, put on light-duties for a couple of weeks if I didn't make any legal moves. I was too young and dumb to know my rights then and just decided to keep the job.

    I once toyed with the idea of developing a toilet paper app for my phone but then realised it could go horribly wrong in a hurry...

    I usually just used the toilet breaks at work to read through the lengthier Kotaku articles I couldn't get away with reading at my desk :P

    I like quizup and cricket player manager.

      Have you tried International Cricket Captain on mobiles? I remember playing the Australian branded one on PC in the 90's.

        Yeah I've bought every edition for like the last 10 years, since going mobile though I hate it. They messed with the UI and things that used to show on one page now take multiple clicks to find and the game engine seems to work differently. Their focus seems to have shifted too far in the direction of mobile.

    Quick Clash of Clans raid works well.
    Or catch up on hangounts/Google+ activity.

    Crossy road usually although i have been known to play 5-6 games of NBA 2ks card game.

    Trivia Crack gets my vote. Crap-tastic fun....

    Now that Fallout Shelter's been released on Android, people now think I've gone for an hour lunch break and not a 5min toilet break.

    Ι .. have .. to.. re...sist...

    "Shitty games?" xD

    I just play the "what's on the Kotaku front page" game on the work toilet.

    Was playing Fallout shelter on the home toilet/s over the weekend though. Tbh I don't play many mobile games at all though, I prefer the dedicated gaming consoles and pc for games.

    MadSkillsMX2 (Shittiest name for a game) but this is so damn addictive. Also, DrawRace 2

    I have a current Marvel Puzzle Quest addiction.
    Although I don't work, and NEVER get to use the toilet in peace. My kids for some reason think it's the perfect time to ask me super important questions like "what's for dinner?".

      Someone here told me a few weeks back that Marvel Puzzle Quest got a whole lot better. I both love and hate that person for that because it is my new addiction. I'm a complete sucker for Marvel though...

    I'm sorry, but WTF: NBA Jam is $1.29 for iOS, and $6.49 for Android???

      Different pricing models; Android is a pay-once and forget, NBA Jam is more about paying to unlock teams within the conferences you want.

      If you're not going to play all the teams -- and most people won't -- the iOS model is fine.

        that kinda sucks. I would totally pay $1.29 for the Android version - I'd only ever play as my team anyway

    Now tell me... What do I say to my boss once my toilet breaks start turning into 2 hour events?

      Say " I wouldn't go in there if I were you!"

        Try fake burping, waving your hand in front of your nose. Alternatively just take a dead ferret into the loo with you and be like "maaaaaaaaaaaan that burrito" and you'll probably get the rest of the day off.

        And gardening leave. But just think of the story...

      Also throw in the occasional "WHO DOES.... NUMBER TWO...... WORK FOR?!" to assist in clearing your second office.

    I used to put my DS in a snaplock bag and play pokemon in the shower.

    I had long showers

    Unit 13 on the vita was my go to. Missions were just a touch long but I got pretty good and could speed run them after a few months.

    anyone tried this new arcade game 360 degree? I'm getting addicted to it for last couple of weeks, even when I'm not at multi-toilet-tasking :D
    Trying to break out the shackle of 100 here, cause I'm still stuck with the best score of 90 :(

      Wow, so you have also played 360 Degree, indeed its an addiction, i was able to score 110, but now even i cant beat my score, this is actually a tough game, and a good time killer. BTW clash of clans is another game which is best to play in the toilet :D :P

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now