Have you ever done something so colossally stupid in a video game that you almost wish you had been drunk and/or high just so you could use that as an excuse? I sure have.
There’s a specific map in Blizzard’s new-ish MOBA Heroes of the Storm called “Tomb of the Spider Queen.” The conceit of the level is that you and your four teammates must try and gather gems dropped by little spider monsters whenever you kill one, then deposit these gems at a turn-in location. Once you’ve collected enough, you summon very big spider monsters that help you attack the enemy team’s defences.
The challenge in Tomb of the Spider Queen comes from the fact that there are only two turn-in locations, both of which are located right in the center of the map. The two teams will try to stop each other from turning in — especially if an opponent has a lot of gems. Say, upwards of twenty.
A smart Heroes of the Storm player will therefore work with his or her teammates to coordinate when to turn in gems, and avoid doing anything reckless when carrying too many gems. Because it only takes one wrong move to lose all of them.
All of that is context to help you understand why I’m having trouble living with myself after this recent game I played as King Leoric from Diablo. I jumped into a team fight late-game when I already had a bunch of gems on me. It was a risky move, but still: we were two levels ahead and had a strong lead in the match.
What’s really, truly, terribly stupid is what I did next:
I survived the team fight, made it out in one piece, and then…turned back around and walked straight into my own death.
Let’s just zero in on the exact offending moment and marvel at it in all of its glory.
I had forty four gems by the time I died. Forty four gems! I deserved to lose every single one of them.