I mean, I'm not really sure what else I was expecting. Let me set the scene for you: I had just finished taking a ClickHole quiz entitled "Can You Match The Pigeons To The Way They're Ruining My Whole Life?" Afterward, I stepped away from my PC to go down to the building that houses my apartment complex's washing machine, to put my laundry in the drier. Boom: from behind a rubbish bin emerged a pigeon, eyes afire with some sort of bird emotion (probably vengeance) screaming into the sky.
"OK," I thought to myself, "that was a little weird."
Rattled, I returned to my PC to engage in one of my favourite self-care/loathing acts: checking Steam's new releases page. Of course, my eyes immediately gravitated to Wonky Pigeon. It is highly unlikely that any of these events are connected, but there's your idea for a modern reboot of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, Hollywood.
So the game is about a pigeon trying to destroy cities with poop. Humanity played some kind of cruel joke on the pigeon, and then things got wacky. Also, apocalyptic.
But the rabbit — pigeon? — pigeon hole (ew) runs deeper. Look at this list of things that are in the game:
- Both evil and comic game story — Use a pigeon to destroy a city with poo.
- Beautiful cartoon graphics — You will love to shoot green poo.
- Split screen coop mode — Two pigeons is better than one.
- The dramatic poo cam — Drive the poo until it hits the target.
- Pigeon sounds by John J. Dick — The famous actor who voiced Serious Sam.
That last one took me by surprise too. I guess he does a mad solid pigeon impersonation? Stock recordings of pigeons also do a pretty good pigeon impersonation, but to each their own!
Anyway, Wonky Pigeon is a game about a pigeon who poos on people. That is pretty much The Whole Thing. It just launched on Steam Early Access, although curiously, I am unable to purchase it at the moment. So yes, the world is weird, and pigeons are arseholes (with other miscellaneous bird parts attached).