Rocket League People Who Are The Worst

Some Rocket League players are just the worst. I am sorry. The absolute worst.

I've been playing solid for the last couple of months and I've been making a mental list from day one: the people who drive me crazy. The people who just... argh, ruin absolutely everything goddammit and make me lose matches all the time.

I really need to play less Rocket League. This is not good for my blood pressure.

So, just to get it all out of my system I wanted to do this. I wanted to create this comprehensive list. These are the Rocket League people who are the worst. The absolute worst.


People Who Rush The Ball At Kick Off No Matter What

These people are first on the list forever.

Okay. You start the match. You have an awkward spawn. The one when you're all the way at the back. NEWSFLASH: you are not going to get to the ball before a player on the opposing team. YOU ARE JUST NOT. Hang back! Relax. Play the goalkeeper, get ready for a rebound!

Anything's better that herp-a-derp let's all run towards the ball together hurray! I ALMOST GOT IT!

Crazy idea: just let everyone else know! It's super easy. At kick off, a simple message. If you have a good spawn: "I got it". If you have a spawn at the back: "defending". How easy is that?

I've seen it happen so many times, especially in 2v2. Both players rush the ball, you lose a goal. Next time no-one rushes the ball because 'whoops, I shouldn't have rushed the ball last time'. COMMUNICATION PEOPLE!


People Who Say 'Nice Shot' When You Score An Own Goal

These tears won't stop flowing.


People Who Chase The Ball Wherever It Goes ALL THE TIME

Look, I hate to be too harsh on these people, because we've all been here.

We just want to touch the ball, we just want to score the goal! We don't know these strangers, who gives a shit what they think? Who cares if we lose the match.

Yes, I was once like you. A terrible human being, just like you. Get it together ya dingus. Rocket League is a team sport in-so-far as I want to win so help me win ya big balloon. Learn to at least cover space. If I'm rushing forward to intercept, cover my back, protect the goal — anticipate where the ball is going to be. Don't just chase it like a headless chicken.

[Exhales]


People Who Can't Hit Aerial Shots But Keep Trying Aerial Shots

Guys, there is a tutorial mode where you can practice this shit till you can actually do it.

Don't get me wrong, players who can land aerial shots with consistency take this game to the next level. I can't do it. I also don't try to do it constantly, leaving my goal wide open for some opportunistic bugger to score goals on me all night long.


People Who Steal My Goddamn Goals

The ball is going in. No-one is ever close to stopping it. Just leave it be. Let it go. Don't be a hero.

DO

NOT

STEAL

MY

GOAL.

This happens all the time. All the time. Where is your sense of compassion? Are you devoid of empathy? You want to steal my goal with a shitty tap in just for the points?


People Who Crash Into Me Trying To Steal The Perfect Shot I Just Lined Up

May actually be worse than the people who steal my goddamn goals.

I worked for this. This is a surefire goal. Charging in at me sideways, sending me cascading across the map is not a good way to win my friendship.


People Who Are Just Too Good At Rocket League

I played a match against a Kotaku reader by the name of ShadowRize. ShadowRize is the worst. He goes for aerials and actually makes them — like 99% of the time.

He's impossible to score against.

He never misses a shot.

He anticipates your approach perfectly.

He's better than me.

He is the worst.


People Who Take The Game Way Too Seriously

Guilty. As. Charged.


People Who Don't Take The Game Seriously Enough

You guys need to step up your game.


Rocket League is full of terrible, terrible people. Did we miss any? Let us know below.


Comments

    Welcome to Dota Rocket League, you suck!

      Reminds me more of World of Tanks honestly :P

    Heh heh, I love not taking it seriously. But I always take it seriously *enough*.

    The Aerial thing is a touchy subject, because you need to try to get good, and offline or against bots i land 90% of the hits i aim for... but online due to some weird server lag i get issues where the ball will not be where it is on my screen, i'll go clean through the ball sometimes, and other times you hit it perfectly... but the ball decided it was going to go back to your own goal regardless of the angle you hit it on.

    Ball chasers (or Seagulls as we call them) are the best thing ever, they make winning so simple because they trip themselves up constantly and leave the whole field open.

    Last edited 10/09/15 3:15 pm

    When my team is on nil with the other on 4. Which is basically every game I play

    I just go fuck it, grab all the boosts I can.
    Then just turn it into the best destruction derby I can manage.

      YOU JUST MADE THE LIST.

        3 things Mark;

        1. Yay!

        2. I demand the article to be amended to show this fact.

        3. I will find you and I will ram you!

    1. Comment spammers. The chat window can be really useful, but when you end up in a match with a couple of douche nozzles who's only purpose in playing is to repeat every comment three times or type out bigoted hate messages, it really bugs me.
    2. Sore losers. I've never left a match early, no matter how bad the score is. I just don't care that much about winning/losing, so I hate it when you're down by a few goals and you end up finishing the match with AI because your team mate doesn't want the loss to tarnish their stats.

      Also sore winners. I get enough performance anxiety from this game without being taunted by belligerent children.

      Half the time when someone quits a game, generally if you go 2 or 3 down and then you soon get another person to join, the game suddenly becomes a lot better without the person who quit and I find we end up turning around and winning, or at least making it a close exciting game.

    I always tend to mis-time my aerials, so I just go with using boost instead.

    If you ever need a team mate, and I'm online you should add me in to the game, I hate everything on this list as well. (PSN: Cephalxn)

    "People Who Crash Into Me Trying To Steal The Perfect Shot I Just Lined Up"

    This gif was perfect.

    In a 2v2 ranked match my team mate wanted to forfeit. We were down 3 goals but had the time left to make a comeback so I opted not to forfeit and keep trying. So he started playing like shit and started trying to get goals for the other team. Who is the villain? The guy who won't forfeit when you're losing, the guy who has a tanty when you don't forfeit or are we both the worst?

      Never give up! I never forfeit either, no matter what.
      I even have a replay I will cherish for ever in ranked where my teammate left when we were 2 goals down; I ended up turning the match around and winning 1v2!

        I had a similar thing last night but I lost in overtime after coming back from 4-2

    I want to add people who point out when you made a mistake by saying "That was your fault"

    I played an entire game with the other 3 players assigning blame to each other constantly.

    Who are these guys, the fault police? Go chuck sand up your arse.

      Agree. Games are so quick that you can have zero points one game and be 5 goal MVP the next. Who has time for shitty comments.

    Heh I have been every one of those (except for being rize, We got destroyed by him last night) . and I think I was every one of those in that game we played recently. I can tell you that the GingerCookies have improved and we play betterer now :D

    I once held back so I didn't steal someone's goal. The opposition made an epic save. Sometimes being the nice guy costs goals and that doesn't fly in the cut throat world of Rocket League. I don't get mad at goal stealer's any more.

      I deal with this existential crisis frequently!

      this is my mentality now, when i started i was pissed when my goals were stolen but now i'd much rather someone guarantee the goal than leave any risk it gets saved.

    Phew, thought I was going to be named and shamed in one of these lists.

    I'm guilty of rushing the ball at the start, but I find I'm actually quite good at it. It's all about trying to get the rebound - a little aerial and a bit of a spread gives you some nice coverage to stop the ball tracking up your end of the field.

    Goal keeping? Pfft. Someone else's problem. I usually just end up knocking it in to my own goal anyway, best I stay clear.

    I steal goals sometimes if I think there is an inkling of a chance that it could be saved. There have been too many 'close save' gifs out there to not account for sheer fluke goalkeepers.

    Then I see the replay and feel bad about it.

    Last edited 10/09/15 6:29 pm

      I know this is late... but it's you that make me hate the game. playing defense, someone elses problem. you start in the back, play back and if you rush forward, someone should step in while you rush, then you return until a score is made. i played chaos mode once and all 4 were messing about in the front for a long time until an easy goal against us was made. empty goalies and all the heroes who are too good to play defense. I hate this community more than WoW.

    some players who, whenever a goal goes in, yells on the chat "why was no-one defending" and then if another goal goes in gets angrier about it....if you think the team needs more defence then defend the goal yourself asshole

    While I have definitely encountered all of these, one thing you didn't list that drives me up the wall is the people who decide to have one sole purpose in life...and that is to eat all the fucking 100% boosts like they're bloody pacman and blow you up from behind the ENTIRE match (literally, they maybe touch the ball twice, otherwise they spend the entire time zooming around the map eating up the boosts and chasing you down from behind if you happen to be near them)

    at that point I have to question why the fuck they are even playing rocket league.

    I am guilty of "Nice Shot'-ing every goal I make. I will not apologise for it. If other people said it, I wouldn't have to do it myself!

    You just sound exactly like one of those asshole players who made me quit playing that game. No problem with that. It's good to see such people isolated playing games rather than running around outside being dangerous to rest of the world.

    My biggest issue with players in Rocket League:

    If you miss the ball, or you screw up your angle/hit...please just abandon the ball and get back into rotation. People who sit there and try to make up for their mistakes by derping around only screw over your teammates. Oh, also people who don't pass...they piss me off too.

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