The First Five Tactically Bedridden Minutes Of Metal Gear Solid V

Before the tactical espionage begins, the catheter must be removed. Now I am not saying there is a tube inserted into Big Boss' urethra during the entire first five minutes of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain -- I can't really be sure.

With our hero still in bed once 300 seconds has passed, I don't know how they handled waste management during the nine-year coma following the events of Ground Zeroes. Maybe he's wearing a diaper, or a combination of the two. Perhaps as I progress through the game there's a cutscene involving a sequence of button prompts as Big Boss extracts a length of plastic tubing.

These are the things I think about as I begin one of the biggest games of the year. I suppose it's better than panicking.

In case you need it and since we always do it, here's the game's Steam description:

Konami Digital Entertainment continues forth the 'METAL GEAR SOLID V Experience' with the latest chapter, METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Phantom Pain. Ushering in a new era for the franchise with cutting-edge technology powered by the Fox Engine, MGSV: The Phantom Pain will provide players a first-rate gaming experience as they are offered tactical freedom to carry out open-world missions.

Nine years after the events of MGSV: GROUND ZEROES and the fall of Mother Base, Snake a.k.a. Big Boss, awakens from a nine year coma. The year is 1984. The Cold War serves as the backdrop as nuclear weapons continue to shape a global crisis. Driven by revenge, Snake establishes a new private army and returns to the battlefield in pursuit of the shadow group, XOF.

The METAL GEAR SOLID team continues to ambitiously explore mature themes such as the psychology of warfare and the atrocities that result from those that engage in its vicious cycle. One of the most anticipated games of the year with its open-world design, photorealistic visual fidelity and feature-rich game design, MGSV: The Phantom Pain will leave its mark as one of the hallmarks in the gaming industry for its cinematic storytelling, heavy themes, and immersive tactical gameplay.

Now I'm not the biggest Metal Gear Solid fan, but any game that launches into Bowie right after the logos splash is a friend of mine.


Comments

    The original yes was bowie, that song in MGSV is actually performed by Midge Ure however.

    The opening of MGSV annoyed me. Glorified cutscene!

      Apparently that's what it was meant to do. Kojima wanted the players to feel like they'd come back from a war all busted up. The game takes a pretty dramatic turn gameplay wise once you get into the field so it's a bit of a weird introduction to the game. It's all goat stealing and mix tapes once the action starts and it's glorious.

        So glad once you do get beyond that, that there's so much fun to be had in the field. Fell in love with DD when I met him in the mission too.

          I fell in love with Quiet.

          But I love patting DD and telling him he's a good boy. :D

    Got a snort of amusement that the view remains unfocused and blurry until the exact moment that a nurse brings some cleavage in good and close.

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