Cyanide’s Latest Blood Bowl Spin-Off Is Everything You Don’t Want From Blood Bowl

Rather than rebuilding the interface of the original, or perhaps converting the sequel into something more trimmed for tablets and mobiles, Cyanide have spun the Games Workshop IP into something you don’t want.

Imagine Blood Bowl, but worse.

It’s called Blood Bowl: Kerrunch. (As in, the sound made when one player Ker-runch’s another onto the deck. Geddit?) It’s a mobile spin-off of the series that cuts down the 11 vs 11 top-down tactical action of the franchise into a lane-based, 5 vs 5 experience.

“Every match begins with a set-up phase, a test of intuition and cunning, in which the coach must study the opposition carefully and place his team wisely,” Cyanide told Pocket Gamer.

The developer added that “accuracy and timing are needed to score a ‘touchdown’ and avoid a ‘fumble’.”

Yes, Cyanide, because that’s exactly what Blood Bowl fans want from the long-running, Warhammer-esque turn-based tabletop franchise. Timing mini-games.

Nobody knows when the game will come out: hopefully someone will quietly intervene by shooting it into the sun. But it’s a reminder of just how hard the Warhammer franchise is being milked in the world of video games.

Things used to be so much better. The Dawn of War series was brilliant. Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine was a surprise packet. And Space Hulk was rather enjoyable.

But not any more. Please, Total War: Warhammer. Save us. And if someone can give Relic a bit of cash to make Dawn of War 3, that’d be great too.

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