I’d Say I’m Ready For Halloween

I’d Say I’m Ready For Halloween

My wife let me buy this mask for $US15 at Target. She made a horrible mistake.

“The first time you scare me awake wearing that I’m burning it,” she told me as I wandered silently through the retail outlet, turning my head slowly to track the people we passed.

“Oh don’t worry,” I whispered in reply. “I’ll just sit quietly at the foot of the bed and wait for you to wake up on your own.”

I put it on later that night and quietly approached Wallace, the family dog. Closer. Closer. I tilted my head… and he growled and tried to bite off my face. Excellent.

The children shall be spared. I keep the mask in my office and I’d really like it one day they developed an affinity for stuffed animals.

Angry Teddy Mask is not for them.

Angry Teddy Mask is for everyone else.

So what are your Halloween costume plans?


  • I don’t really care for hallowean…. but I’m going to have a blast scaring the shit out of my missus with this mask! I’m thinking the old hiding in the back seat of the car and being spotted in the rear view 😛

  • I am 32 and have simply never had the opportunity to go to a costume party, Halloween or otherwise. Given I no longer drink, I doubt it’s going to happen any time soon.

        • Halloween, schmalloween. I’m wearing this thing next time (the first time) I finally snap and lose my shit and go on an axe murder rampage through my neighbourhood, wearing only a pair of budgie smugglers (and this mask obviously), while blasting Fear Factory on repeat through a genuine 80’s ghetto blaster I’ve duct-taped to my shoulder like some kind of Mechwarrior PPC / missile launcher.

          Seriously – that mask is SCARY !

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