Halo 5: Guardians came out this week and you may have noticed that swish looking Xbox One as well.
Guess what — we have one to give away! And a Legendary Collector’s Edition of Halo 5: Guardians!
How do you enter? Super simple. I’m keeping this simple so you don’t have be Picasso or a Photoshop wizard to enter.
I want you to invent a Spartan Ability.
You have to describe that Spartan Ability in 300 words or less. The funniest, most creative, weirdest entry will win.
Here are the prizes in full:
1st Prize
1 x 1TB Halo 5: Guardians Xbox One with copy of Halo 5: Guardians.
Runner Up
1x Halo 5: Guardians Limited Collector’s Edition
You have until 1pm, November 3 to enter. We’ll announce the winners before the end of next week.
Terms and conditions can be found here.
Good luck everyone!
Comments
214 responses to “Win! A Brand New 1TB Xbox One With Halo 5: Guardians!”
I’d call it the “Tea Break”, and it would work like a rejuvenating cuppa’, by instantly recharging your shield if you crouch while standing over the corpse of a downed opponent.
And the winner is… Tea Ba-.. Break!
I think people have already used that ability on me
Real life doesn’t count.
I wanted the opposite of that, the Tea-Breaker, where if you could hit the right sequence of keys at exactly the right time, your ‘dead’ Spartan would thrust up his hand, grab the teabagger by the goolies and deliver a pulse of power that would completely destroy the offender, and you would rejuvinate and inherit their weapons and abilities.
It would make teabagging a much scarier proposition.
“Safe Space”
When active you don’t hear children talking about what they did to your mum.
IMO the xbox should have something like this built in. When it detects the word mum/mom and and a voice above a certain octave, that player gets dumped.
World Peace; When activated it starts ever lasting peace and they all live happily ever after.
The Spartan Kick – It would be a powerful kick that would kick the enemy across the map, it would do extra damage if the opponent was kicked off a cliff.
If you’re kicked off a cliff I don’t think the extra damage matters.
I bet this guy is fun at parties.
Would also require a voice heard across the entire map shouting I AM SPARTAN!!! (The change is required for legal purposes)
I would call this the “Chuck Norris”
“Yahtzee”
When active, all power ups stand out as large Branston Pickle jars.
EDIT: Don’t know if this will disqualify me for adding a second ability but if it does, I accept the consequences.
“Warfstash Curse”
When used on an opponent, a small version of Markipilier’s signature facial hair appears on the opponent’s helmet. Every kill from then on cause the candy coloured mo to grow bigger and heavier until the opponent crushed to death by its weight.
At the same time, the player is takes more damage when shot at with bullets but all other weapons (laser based, etc) are unaffected.
EDIT 2: Last one. Again, I raise no complaint if I’m disqualified.
“The Duke”
You easily kick any arse in game, but the match frequently restarts and takes 14 days to complete.
Then just as the 14 days is nearly up, the game is extended by another month.
The Spartan Bag – when used it remaps every button on the controller to the crouch button for the rest of the match.
“FTTW” (FLIP THEM THE WARTHOG), enables you to use the Warthog flip as an extremely heavy damaging weapon that will instantly kill anyone it rolls back over.
The fartin’ Spartan.
A jet pack type ability that deals poison damage within a 5 meter radius over 10 seconds. Also has chance for a “loot drop”.
Does Halo even have loot drops? I dunno. It does now.
You’ll have to win Halo 5 and find out!
“The Joker”
When activated, it bombards the enemy with a random dad joke which, upon delivery, results in the enemies being paralysed with laughter for 10 seconds and also has the following effects:
1. Drains shields if they have any at time of telling.
2. Literally kills the enemy from laughter if they have no shields active at the time of delivery.
The “Captains Log:” when all nearby enemies have been defeated, a small hatch in the hermetically sealed spartan armour pops open so that they can finally pinch off a victory dump.
*Edit* Alternately referred to as the “Chief Queef”
.
‘Fandom spoiler’ Once activated the spartan spoils everything about high fandoms, TV shows, movies. The enemy just gives up and in a fit of anger and disbelief falls to the ground in the fatal position, rocking back and forth and muttering “he can’t be dead”.
“Education Campaign”
Passive module, Master Chief only.
Covenant enemies become aware of exactly who the hell the Master Chief is and what he has done. On recognizing his signature profile immediately come to their senses, shitting their pants while running away, firing blindly in the futile hope that it will slow the Demon enough for them to escape with their lives.
Seriously, man. I don’t know why this doesn’t already happen.
“Hissy Fit”
Activates after being Ground Pounded or Assassinated three (3) times in a row. The Spartan gets back up, stomps his foot while swinging both arms down his side. You are invincible for 3 seconds. In those three seconds; you throw your current equipped weapon, your spare, and your helmet. Direction of throw can be aimed. Any Spartan (friendly or enemy) hit by thrown weapons or helmet loses their shield and drops to 1HP. Your Spartan then falls into a heap on the ground and sobs.
“Spartan Ball”
You get a plasma shield that envelops you like a hamster ball, which lets you roll around. When you hammer into enemies, they stick to it, all the while screaming and carrying on like when they get stuck with a plasma grenade, After a certain period of time, it explodes in a glorious (and hilarious) shower of corpses.
Basically explosive Katamari.
Armor Ability Hijack
Allows the user to steal the armor ability of the spartan that is in their sights, leaving the other with something basic, like unlimited sprint. However, if the user hijacks the “Armor Ability Hijack” ability from an opposing spartan, the user then loses the ability and is forced to use the previously mentioned basic ability, in this case, unlimited sprint.
Thanks for doing the giveaway Mark!
You don’t need I’s to cook
When activated, you close your eyes and become a master of the culinary arts.
“Even without any I’s, you too can be a Master Chef.” – Cook Eneril
“The Abbott Whammy”
A loudspeaker installed in the spartan suit starts airing snippets of the best Tony Abbott said while PM, such as:
‘Holocaust of job losses’
‘Shit happens’
‘We have stopped the boats’
‘the suppository of wisdom’
‘I’m the guy with the not bad-looking daughters.’
“The Staten”
This ability is unlocked after the current round has 1 minute remaining. Upon activation, the Spartan will have their teams current progress reviewed by the Board of Directors, who will decide that “it was not heading in the direction they anticipated” and chose to scrap the team’s score completely. The Team is then required to rebuild their score from scratch despite the incredibly short amount of time remaining, with a random chance of getting a minor time extension added to the round if they beg the publisher. If the team doesn’t win the round with a k/d ratio over 3, then they lose their Christmas bonus.
The Spartan is then required to leave the team, but has the perk “complaining openly on Twitter” immediately activated.
Silent, but deadly. No need to explain. It’s a dart joke. And that’s auto correct fart yo dart
How about the ‘Oh Hell No!’
Opens a portal near the enemy and teleports in a random Kardashian/Jenner/Wesley Snipes, who then proceed to bitch and moan about whatever first world problem is grinding their gears, boring enemies to death, but not before they succumb to horrendous sharts and the occasional bad-but-kinda-good Chritopher Walkin impression. Classic Halo.
Proactive Orifice Opening Protection System (P.O.O.P.S)
Active defence system that makes all convenant scum in a 20m radium of the Spartan vacant their alien lunch into their space pants rendering them incapacitated and extremely embarrassed.
Top Secret: DO NOT DISTRIBUTE
Long has the Halo series lacked proper engagement and motivation in the simple act of movement. Masterchief has finally begun to grow wary of the conventional (Warthog, Scoprion and even the VTOL) or even unconventional (Ghost, Wraith, Banshee, Spectre or anything else of other supernatural derivation) modes of current transportation. Sure, he has shiny new boosters on his back that allow him to run or dodge a millimeter, he now craves for something with a little more… power.
Masterchief has now added the luxury upgrade of strapping a Shaw-Fujikawa Translight Engine to his back, allowing his dodge to involve a slightly more practical application… he can SLIPSTREAM.
The most notable advantage of this new Spartan Ability is the capability of dodging incoming attacks (save for maybe The Needler) and reappearing at a safe distant. Initial trials found Spartans floating in space or inside of a planet, but careful calculations by UNSC scientists have allowed the SlipStream to generate at shorter distances, allowing for safer and faster travel (read: increased dodge range).
While simply dodging an attack is advantageous enough in itself, the upgraded ability also comes with some… beneficial side effects. Utilise the drive while within close proximity of a weapon and you will unwillingly drag your enemy with you where space/time distortion and radiation should take care of the rest. User Manual Note: Be careful not to activate while next to your squad.
Your newfound dimensional travel may also leave slipspace wakes in your sudden absence, which may now also be used as temporary cover from incoming enemy fire, though be careful not to get too close, less you lose an arm (or helmet).
This Document is official property of the UNSC.
Prepared by Dr. Catherine Halsey
The Destiny
Embrace the darkness of your final destiny and give your last moments of Spartan life for the human race; If you are killed when active any and all grenades you have explode and cluster outwards from your corpse. An armor ability initially researched on board the UNSC Titan and UNSC Warlock alliance cruisers to fight Covenant Hunters and in no way similar to any other products/imitations currently available on the market.
Hoplite – That energy sword sure looks aerodynamic…
Use your energy sword as a spear and impale other, lesser, combatants from a nice safe distance.
I always wanted to be able to launch at enemies with the energy sword fowards, like a human missle. But yeah, at would be great to be able to throw it like a javelin, and have it return to you like a boomerang. (with or without impaled enemy attached)
Hahahaha. YES!
The baby shoosher
Quiets all babies and makes them instantly asleep so gaming can commence.
It’s called Phenergan….
Don’t use on children under 12Let’s go back to the real Spartans! Their tradition was to bathe newborns in wine to check their strength. SO! The spartan ability I propose is some kind of Bacchanal ability whereby any user who XBOX decides is under the age of 15 has their character drowned in a nice red wine. Perhaps a Penfolds!
Shiela: Gives you the ability to pick up chicks in a tank that has an auto fire sequence with additional friendly fire built in and features 6 pedals but only drives in 4 directions. May or may not be possible to blow up the whole god damned World with it.
Quite possibly inspired by RvB“The Salt”
Extends the Shotgun’s lethal range to 20 metres.
Fatal Headshot Revive.
All that it involves is giving CPR to to anyone downed via headshot for an instant revive.
How does it work you ask?
It just does, don’t question Caboose. Never question Caboose.
Ok so heres mine:
Unggoy Shriek
This power is generally completely useless other then to confuse all opponents on the battlefield. Upon Activation your character will scream a completely random line that you would typically hear an Unggoy (grunt) say, for example: “stop shooting meeee” or “I’ll bite your kneecaps off”. During this momentary confusion state you gain a rear facing (only) shield and additional agility when your back is to enemies (aka fleeing).
The rumoured first appearance of this ability came from Spartan Trainee Monty Knight (codename: Python). This particular spartan was rescued from a glassed outter colony after surviving for 6 months in a covenant prison camp where he learnt the ways of the Unggoy. Unfortunately during that time he lost both his arms and legs. Remember, when in doubt, flee!
“Actual Grunt Birthday Party”
After over a decade (and 3 generations of consoles) using the unlockable skull of the same name to rain jubilus death upon poor Grunts, this Spartan Ability allows a regretful spartan to hold an actual grunt birthday party.
Upon activation, invites are sent out and any Grunt within 50m of the spartan (who is also due a birthday celebration) will path toward his location bringing any of his friends with him. At arrival attending grunts begin to dance and celebrate, giving the player a regenerating over-shield of happiness.
During the party however, the spartan must keep festivities high. If the party morale drops below a certain threshold, attending grunts will begin to remember the “confetti death” and begin to weep uncontrollably.
Should all attending grunts fall into this state, the Spartan is unable to deliver a party mirthful enough to help them forget the ancient atrocities and all grunts in attendance will have their heads explode in showers of confetti to the rich sounds of children laughing.
Lost by grief, the Spartan counts as knocked down in this event and must be consoled by an available team mate.
“Spartan Madness”
A kicking melee attack so bad-ass that a well will materialize behind the unfortunate recipient just so they can fall down it. Also adds +1 to the users beard stat.
The Heavy Flow
Once activated (15 Minute timer, regenerates every hour) turns the player into a hot mess, going from extremes of dealing incredible damage via a shout ability to sobbing in a corner because the safety was too hard to turn off on the gun.
Unable to detect by the enemy or team mates alike, and for best effect use after an incredibly bad losing streak. No one will see it coming.
PC-only (heaven knows we need a PC port for this) ability:
Press Z to defecate.
Blue Steel: Upon activation, replaces all current weapons with the M6D Magnum Sidearm and disables Left movement on joystick for 30 seconds. If killed while powerup is active, player becomes ridiculously good looking on respawn.
The MC Conversion
When activated, your character instantly turns into the Master Chief and allows you to actually play at least half of Halo 5 as him. #Salt
The Ploy – ability that allows you to fake your own death in or outside of battle and when an enemy gets too close (to teabag or not) allows you to jump up and thrust them through with your mighty spear for an instant kill. (I debated weather to add a word like phalanx)
While active you act exactly like a corpse, you can’t move until you complete the ability by killing someone, you don’t show up on the map or have a hit marker identify you but you do take damage.
Kasier Chief
When activated a mini game pops up asking you to predict if the next group of enemies you encounter are going to riot or not. If they do you, A catchy early 2000’s rock number blares out of your TV speakers. If you don’t, then you slowly fade into mediocrity and NME stops caring.
Dink-Rage
All other players will have their view obscured with the grinning face of Nolan North. Preventing them from seeing their attackers and thus stopping them from achieving their Destiny.
The Divider
Master Chief removes his mask to reveal Native American heritage. Audience says in unison:
“Oh *Chieeef*, riiiiight.”
Called The Divider because the nternet breaks in half trying to decide if finally having a prominent Native American protagonist in an American made video game outweighs the arguably racist connotations of referring to him as “Chief”.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
The “ShirtFront” ability.
When activated you aggressively, but in a non physical manner, explain your disappointment in the enemies current attitude, and express your concern for your continued relationship should they continue down their path.
When pressed though, it never actually happens, and you lay down on the ground whilst the enemy walks all over you, physically and metaphorically.
The Dead Fish
You gain the ability to make any character completely limp and lifeless until they hit the ground. Any one mid jump loses all momentum and crashes to the floor with hilarious but also game-changing results.
The Sanghelli Slam – When activated your vehicle starts making “wort wort wort” noises and guarantees even barely touching an opponent will cause them to spontaneously combust. 100% fatal. Based on Halo 1 nostalgia.
Here’s what happens when a Spartan hits you with their Forward Unto Dawning Realisations ability:
Your opponent emits a beam of energy and you, now their victim, have your field of vision obscured by light. As it recedes you find yourself on a remote, tranquil planet – birds sing an exotic yet familiar song, a nearby brook bubbles, in which your reflection is young and clear. You have a partner, they call to you, their voice kind and warm. You make things together and tell the kind of banal anecdotes you can only tell someone you love.
You’re going to have a baby.
Another flash – ten years have passed. Your child is opening a birthday present. Their eyes light up and you know that, in that exact moment, you’ve done something good, something right, something that will last.
Your child looks up at you and their smile turns to a frown. You see tears well in the their eyes. You ask what’s wrong. “You could have chosen this life…” they say as your eyes see white.
Your back in the arena. Seconds have passed. Your opponent looks down at you, gun at your head. “You could have been so much more,” they say in what you swear is your child’s voice.
They shoot; you die; you spawn crouching in a corner, facing the wall, weeping.
Anyone who assassinates you gets a “It’s Not Too Late” medal.
I have no idea if multiple entries are allowed so this may be a “just for fun” one.
Pish off ta Glesga
Duration: 30 seconds.
The Spartan receives a thick Glasgow accent, double shields (that are restored when the Spartan batters fowk) and an energy sword skinned to look like a pool cue. Using the cue breaks it, until the Spartan is just stabbing pricks with a pointy handle.
Additional modifications can be unlocked via micro-transactions, including replacing other players names (“boaby” for male Spartans, “hen” for female) and skinning grenades to look like jobbies (plasma grenades will be wee beige numbers).
The “Serrelscape”
If a Spartan’s shield has been depleted, they can activate Serrelscape. The player will take off their helmet & chest plate, exposing their ginger hair and white skin to the enemy. This blinds everyone temporarily within a 20m radius but will cause irreparable skin damage to the unarmoured spartan and they will stay at 20% for the rest of the match even after respawning.
I’ll see myself out…
The Ballistic Stabilizers
The ability for a half tone nuclear powered combat suit to eliminate recoil
The “Leonidas”
Activate a thousand shields around your self in a perfect turtle shell formation which reflect all projectiles back at the attackers instantly killing them. Of course for balancing this OP skill, once it wears off a mutated hunchback midget will jump on your back, slowing you down and repeatedly stab you, dropping your health until you die, unless an ally can kill it in time.
The Outback
Causes whoever is in the area of effect, excluding the user, to have extreme and debilitating explosive diarrhoea for a short period of time.
The Microtrans-hack-tion
When used, the Spartan lobs an explosive a few metres ahead of them. Similar to an EMP grenade, any opponent(s) within the explosion area do not take any physical damage. However, they suffer by having to endure a mini-game type disruption to their HUD, where they must click through a series of pop-ups to decline the microtransaction being offered to them. The affected player(s) will not able to move until they can complete these steps.
Offers will be useless temporary rewards like changing the colour of their gun and the buttons to select the different options are randomised. Despite being only three correct button presses away (‘Do you want to buy ___?’, ‘Are you sure?’ and ‘Really sure?’) from declining the transaction (only a few seconds of game-time), it will be enough to render the player immobile for long enough to be killed. To incentivise players to decline the transaction instead of just accepting it, the actual ‘purchase’ will result in more downtime as the game simulates an actual transaction taking place by providing the player with a useless, looping circular icon onscreen for a few more seconds, followed by a ‘purchase complete’ message. In all likelihood, players will never get to this stage, as they will most likely be dead before then.
As an added ‘bonus’, the player(s) on the receiving end will experience the same level of frustration as those who frequently deal with paywalls and other inconvenient game popups; “I JUST WANT TO PLAY THE DAMN GAME!” will probably be said more often than it needs to be.
“The Spartan Splits”
When activated, the Spartan splits down the vertical into two halves, each with one arm and one leg.
The screen goes into vertical split-screen – lego style.
Each half is controlled by an analog stick – the left half with the left stick, the right with the right, Aiming is auto assisted in the direction of travel.
Each half has it’s own weapon.
Each half can hop along at almost running pace but cannot jump.
The two halves can reconnect with line of sight at any distance at high speed. If they reconnect with an opponent in the middle it is an instakill – the Spartan sandwich.
Each half has half health. Either half can be resurrected by the other upon re-connection.
Each half can occupy a position in a vehicle.
Master Chief’s visor raises up, with blinding light firing out like a death-gaze, incinerating all, only to immediately close so you never actually see John’s face.
The Chuck Norris
Running up to the enemy the Spartan removes their helmet to reveal a glorious beard. All of the sudden an almighty fist shoots out and disintegrates the enemy.
Fresher than Fresh: You go into an uncontrollable “Carlton Dance”, once the dance is complete you become Fresh until Death. Fresh gives 150% run speed and 150% damage, obviously.
TELEPORTATION, give the ability to teleport a short distance, say 5-10m. It’d be awesome as a quick escape from a fire fight or getting out of a way of a vehicle. It function similar to how dishonoured worked, so you cant teleport through walls. Also reduce the shields when teleporting, say 80% so it balances it out. Also it’d have a reasonable recharge so not over used.
The ability I’d invent is called “The Runs”. When you activate the ability, it creates constant explosions of up to 3 metres behind you as you sprint.
The Atomic Wedgie Grenade
When it explodes, all enemies in the area get the ultimate Atomic Wedgie. An Atomic Wedgie causes the underpants to go over their heads. While affected by this they’re paralysed on the ground for 15-20 secs holding their privates.
The ‘Kneason Counter’
Once per match you can find that one guy who’s killed you like 10 times to 0 and kill him but it only activates if the person becomes your nemesis. When activated your Spartan will make an announcer call to your nemesis, saying, After the speech your Spartan immediately finds your nemesis and proceeds to initiate a stealth attack. Both parties will be invulnerable to outside damage during the entire process. As your Spartan grapples your nemesis he/she will whisper, “found you…”, and proceeds to beat the living **** out of him/her. This only works for one nemesis. If you have more than one, seek professional help.
IF, for some reason, your target decides to jump off a cliff you ride them down doing a random wrestling move. You get the kill and teleport back to spawn without it counting as your death.
The “My Micro has gone soft”
Can only be used on an enemy who is about to get a killioinaire, you emit a extremely sexy hologram of Cortana in the dead centre of their screen, giving you just enough time to get them riled up before killing them and ruining their killstreak.
The “Leeroy Spartan”
Rush into the situation with all guns blazing whilst bunny-hopping, subject to the following conditions:
(1) the ability to absorb 20 bullets for a temporary extra shield protection buff;
(2) whilst charging into the battle, unleash a tremendous roar activating two mirror images of yourself confusing the enemy, allowing cover under fire; and
(3) all enemies hit will burst into colourful confetti upon suffering a critical hit.
Cooldown of 40 seconds.
Festive Mexican
Upon activation, a sombrero materializes on the spartan’s head. This allows for the spartan to launch jalapenos where the spartan is looking (this has a 1 second cooldown). This ability lasts for 10 seconds. When an enemy steps close or on a jalapeno, they spontaneously combust. Some jalapenos might not cause damage, because not all jalapenos are spicy.
Precautions:
Don’t step to close to a jalapeno because the intensive heat will blind the spartan.
“Ability to steal all abilities”
Seeing everyone enjoying their new found Spartan abilities can be upsetting, especially if you, yourself can’t decide which one to take.
This is where the simple “Ability to steal all abilities” will give you the upper hand. With this ability you have the power to simply steal the abilities of everyone you come across. See someone about to do a ground pound? Steal it from him and watch that Spartan fall harmless to the ground. Someone wanting to show off some cool jetpack moves? Not in your match they don’t.
Oh and you aren’t stealing them to use for yourself, its simply to stop other people having fun. It even can be used against those team mates of yours to prevent them scoring higher than you!
Warning: Use of this ability may result in loss of friendships.
The Taunt Zone
A bubble appears and inside it any enemy hears generic taunting designed to put the player off. However any kills gained inside the bubble gain 2x points for enemies and 3x for the player who put it down. Stacks with other Taunt bubbles for increased taunt volume and quality of taunt.
‘Long overdue design fix’
With this module equipped the Spartan is able to carry up to two sidearms, in addition to the two standard primary weapons.
When not in use these weapons will be carried on obvious and overdue leg holsters.
Duel wield is, of course, enabled.
‘Punished Chief’
Spartans switch to a ‘naked’ load-out. Swapping an MA5 for an Mk22 to farm Covenant dog-tags and the ability to take cover in ‘cardboard boxes’ – ancient-human tactical equipment, advanced for its time. Until you find out that the Covenant is governed by a giant politically-charged AI and that the next mission is to extract a prisoner named ‘Josh Holmes’ who is guarded by an ex-soldier with super-human abilities and a tragic history.
The Troll Klaxon
A multiplayer only ability. After a 30-kill streak (hey they are already trying to make every other feature like COD!) activate to send loud jarring yells of 13 year olds disparaging your mother into your opponents headseats. Induce rage quits without losing your own voice!
“The Revelation”
The player turns into the master chief for a brief period of time. After triggering the ability a second time, the player removes their helmet, and a radiant flash of light engulfs the battlefield emanating from the chief’s head, acting as a flashbang and blinding all enemies within range.
“Silence of The Lamb”.
It’s a special silence bomb where if it’s detonated, the whole game is silent for one full game.
The Debate
Everyone gets 30 seconds to yell insults to each other and that you had sex with your opponents mother. There is no bonus for using this ability … There’s never a winner
The “pro”
All sniper damage is increased by 1000% if you spin 360 degree and shoot from the hip. Bonus damaged if your name starts and ends with “Xxx”.
I call it “Shield drain”. It sends a wave of a small radius out from the Spartan than instantly drains the shield of jackals, elites etc in the area of effect but to make it trick also drains 50% of your shield. That is the trade off. You could use it to sprint at an elite and instantly drain its shield but if they get a few good shots at you they could kill you also.
It’s not my fault
After finishing a game on the losing team if you start complaining about your team’s performance and/or complaining about the server stability you are instead awarded 10 loses.
Okay, I’ve been working on this new Spartan Ability for a while now, only I’ve been having trouble getting it released.
You see the ability is simple, as it allows the Spartan to rewind time, during moments of crisis, to an earlier epoch, providing an opportunity for strategic re-evaluation of the situation to come, before the crisis unfolds.
However each time I attempt to demonstrate this new prototype functionality, I find myself back at the drawing board, staring at my notes on the proposed “Spartan Time Jump” ability, without any of the requisite technical details explaining how time travel works nor any of the hardware in place to test out this new ability.
I’m unsure how many times I’ve gone through this loop, but it seems unlikely this new “Spartan Time Jump” ability will ever be fully realised.
So I’ve decided to re-work the idea, and instead have developed the “Spartan Toast” ability.
True, this revised version of my original idea mostly just gives the Spartan the ability to lightly cook up to two slices of bread, however I’m confident there will be a near-to-zero risk of infinite time loops.
There however is a slight chance that your toast may be burnt.
If that happens, just push this button on the side of the “Spartan Toast” device to rewind time and…
Okay, I’ve been working on this new Spartan Ability for a while now, only I’ve been having trouble getting it released.
You see the ability is simple, as it allows the Spartan to rewind time, during moments of crisis, to an earlier epoch, providing an opportunity for strategic re-evaluation of the situation to come, before the crisis unfolds.
However each time I attempt to demonstrate this new prototype functionality, I find myself back at the drawing board, staring at
The Spartan Shield
The ability for a Spartan to impale enemies while using the energy sword – the energy sword would gradually drain.
The impaled enemy would be used as a shield to absorb projectiles and explosive damage until the user dies or the energy sword runs out of charge.
The user would have slowed movement, reduced jump height,partially obscured vision, and would also only be able to use a single handed weapon while carrying the shield.
“Last Stand”
For a limited amount of time, the lower a spartan’s health falls, the stronger he/she becomes. Whilst not effecting the amount of damage the player can take, the spartan becomes more accurate, shoots faster and deals more damage in a valiant last stand against their aggressors. After a period of time the ability wears off the player returns to normal.
The magic wand. The Spartan will wave a magic wand which fixes my one so that it can read discs again without going through the painful process of calling Xbox support.
“Wartfog”
Causes a cloud of smoke to fill the space and turn the player into a Warthog for 2 minutes. Time can be extended by crashing into immovable objects.
As a PC gamer who really wants to play this I will go with a PC themed Spartan Ability.
“Overclock” – that was I would just turn it up to 11 and bring it home to the Convenant. Gonna need some watercooling for my suit before I conk out!
Spartan ability to win this competition.
“Fan Kid Fury” lets people know where Halo 5 has its problems, causes fan kids to erupt into fury and make errors in their game play so you can easily kill them.
Grow Up
Upon use all players who have trolled, or generally displayed childlike qualities, are turned into babies for the rest of the match. They will have tiny character models making them harder to hit, but they will have no weapons and can only move at a crawl.
Achievements include “The Contraception: Completed 100 matches without becoming a baby”, “The Monster: Killed 250 babies”, and “WWWWWWWAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!: Became a baby 500 times”.
Beam me up…
The Spartan suit emits a bright white light leading straight up to the sky, on command. The beam of light is 2 meters in diameter and reaches for the stars; shrouding the Spartan in a white light. The beam alerts both ally and foe to the Spartans location. The beam of light is wide enough to engulf the Spartan; making it impossible for snipers or any enemy unit to take a clear shot. Whilst the Spartan is blinded by the light he/she must follow bunny hop protocol within the beam; for a longer result/life. Leaving enough time for allied forces to arrive; as someone hopefully named Scotty come to the Spartan’s rescue.
“The MLG 420 pro”
Ability description: start spinning in quick succession, when any shots fired from weapon succefully land on your enemies head, the entire arena will be bombarded by air horns and “John cena” sound effects!!!
I think the spartans need the ability “Samuri Vanish” pretty simple, you disappear from the screen, you can’t even see yourself.
“The Egg-citing, Egg-static, Egg-stravagant, Egg-splosive, Egg-streme, Egg-ceptional Egg laying sequence”
When this ability is available, upon crouching for 10 seconds in the field of battle, the player lets out an ear-piercing ‘grunt’ (see what i did there) that can be heard across the map. After this ‘grunt’, a small hatchet at the back of the spartan Armour opens up to release a large, glowing, rainbow egg. the player then can melee this egg to receive 1 of 3 abilities in relation to chickens. 1. They receive an egg-shooting weapon of mass d-egg-struction. 2. They gain very small chicken wings on their back that allows them to glide at a small decent off high points in the map. 3. they gain feather grenades that act similar to a smoke grenade and lets the player escape. these abilities last until death or in the case of grenades/ weapon when they run out of ammunition. once these abilities end, the player then releases a loud squawk heard by the nearby players.
What an Egg-celent ability.
The ability to ‘Snap’ turn in any direction (N,S,E,W) so that you are able to shoot enemy’s behind you if you are being flanked.
Use your new req card to activate the “Over Shiela”
When active it provides an armour boost by surrounding you with 4 angry pregnant 20-somethings chugging on woodies and chain smoking winnie blues.
Sure to frighten the Warden Eternal back to the darkest regions of The Domain.
Icarus Suppression System – The wielder charges up for five seconds before overloading their shields to unleash a blast that blinds enemies, but of course leaves the wielder’s shields depleted.
Adrenaline Rush
By screaming into your microphone or kinect, you build up more speed when sprinting. Works for both charging at and running from the enemy. Of course, more speed means more momentum, so if you run into an enemy the are knocked back and stunned very temporarily.
When some hit ” we are spartans” all unnecessary weapons and armour go and for 10 minutes the spartan is clones into many spartans before returns to the one spartan
“Solid Drop”
The player would activate the ability then guide a 2m diameter cursor where they wish to land, then a second activation confirms the location (actual landing location may/not vary).
The spartan suit then emits an “electro-discharge” noise as the suit bends its knee’s a little, then dumps all of its shields into its feet and launches into the air at a 70-80 degree angle. After achieving a dramatic amount of height, the inertia shifts towards the earth, the suit gives a quick boost of propulsion to increase its descent acceleration towards the location.
At the same time as the boost the suit “Gel Locks” like in the beginning of Halo 3, but not fully to achieve a faster rate of combat readiness.
Upon impact , all within a 4m radius suffer a 2 second stun, and players directly in physical path of descent are killed unless at full heath and shields.
The “Gell Lock” prohibits all movement of the launched spartan for 2 seconds upon impact and reduces movement by 50% for another 5 seconds, but at 200% armor for the duration of the debuff.
Name also gives rise to possible word play of “chance moments” XD
Rage Quit
Penalty system awarded to victims of toxic players displaying poor bahaviour. Any more slurs about my mum’s weight or preference, spawn camping or other general douchebaggery which allows the aggrieved to do one of 4 things (bound to d-pad). Each level unlocks based on how many douchemoves are committed against you by specific player.
1.Unload all weapons of specific douchebag, causing mild irritation and letting them know that the player targeted, is indeed a douche.
2. Forcibly eject player from vehicle – great for banshee hogs, tank campers and people who generally suck at vehicular combat.
3. Easy Mark – freezes said douchebag in their tracks, allowing for easy headshots, sword swipes, vehicle splats or assassinations.
4. Rage quit – for the emperor of the douche kingdom! Forces Emporer Douchebag to quit the game and forces them to spectate the rest of the match, awarding no points, xp or benefit whatsoever.
Bear with me here because I have no idea what a Spartan is but we’ll make an assumption and presume it’s code for ‘home handyman’.
The ability I want my spartan/handyman to have is the ability to unblock my bathroom sink because f*** me I can’t figure it out and I’m not putting my hands in brown poo water and I don’t have any friends with utes who keep tools permanently lodged in the tray that probably know how to do it and live for any chance to splash around in brown poo water.
“Bungee Takeover”
When activated, a warp portal opens up, 12 Destiny Guardians of Light teleport into the game and start doing co-ordinated emote dances and confusing a whole bunch of Halo players as a distraction so you can lay the smackdown on distracted Spartans.
BAGS
Press LB to activate this ability and you will see a silhouette of every special weapon on the map, click on the one you want – you have now ‘bagsed’ (claimed) that weapon and you have 45 seconds to pick it up, any other player who attempts to pick up the weapon before you get there will find it booby trapped with explosives!
Finally a chance to get the good weapons instead of being at the mercy of that really good sniper who always knows where the damn thing spawns!
Spartan Mute – allows you to silence each and every noise and sound on the map except for the footsteps and jet packs of the opposition and pin points their location while they are moving. Of course it’s similar to other abilities, but since it silences all sounds and noises, you can’t be heard by anyone else. Gives you an advantage while not making it too powerful.
Recovered intelligence document:
From the Desk of ONI Special Weapons Research (ONI-SWR):
To whom it may concern,
This a brief summary of recent discoveries. As you may/may not know, S-117 and subordinate Spartans (BLUE TEAM) uncovered a cache of Forerunner relics while fighting the Reformed Covenant on [REDACTED] as part of Operation: [REDACTED] that granted a novel ability.
Following the same bizarre trend of other Forerunner relics that grant their user ‘abilities’ (SEE AUTO-TURRET/LIGHT-SHIELD); these devices seemed perfectly adapted to human use, easily slotting into S-117’s [MJOLNIR MK 6] armour. Upon activation it seemed to trigger a portal on the user’s [S-117] hand that lasted several [7] seconds.
After this period, S-117 was noted to be holding what appeared to be some sort of copy of the M6D pistol. S-104 described it as “Looks like a Handgun with a chrome exterior” this variant M6D (H:CE M6D) was initially dismissed as a joke item. However, further use revealed that the H:CE M6D had an almost absurd degree of firepower.
Noted abilities included: Bringing down a Type-26 GSA (BANSHEE) in less than a magazine (12 bullets); killing a Lekgolo combat unit (HUNTER) in a single shot; possessing similar precision and lethality of a current standard issue sniper/anti-material rifle and finally, a noted psychological effect on Covenant units (MASS RETREAT/SURRENDER) on a combat theatre level.
Currently, all Blue Team members possess these devices; the remaining ones are being transported by the [REDACTED] to ONI Station [REDACTED] in the [REDACTED] System for study. Theories abound on what exactly these devices do and the ONI-SWR will be excited to examine and possibly reverse engineer devices that carry out a similar function
Regards,
Dr. J. Jones
Head of ONI-SWR
It’s called the “Kotakulizer”.
When activated it keeps your spartan informed about updates for the game they are within. Causing them to question the reality of their relationships, their world, even themselves. They become perplexed about the notion that they don’t exist, how could that be: “I was there when I met my love at the coffee shop, I was there when I walked down the aisle, I was there when my son was born….” he sputters. The Spartan refuses to accept that their lives have no meaning, while questioning what happens when they die. This causes the Spartan to be stunned for the next five seconds.
Connection Rejection
The battlefield is immediately quietened. Not in awe-inspired silence but in a cold blackout. You can practically taste the frustration of the Halo players worldwide. This ability secures you alone the victory, with a complete server shutdown for all but you. Laugh pettily as a single victory screen declares you alone as the only online player for the next hour. Pray that you are not found IRL during that time.
The Chuck Norris
Touching an enemy makes their head explode… TWICE.
If the Spartan inherits the ‘Taken’ ability, they will not know who their targets are.
They will not know the reason.
They will not be seen.
They will be under-powered.
However, they will have particular sets of hand-to-hand skills on their disposals.
They will warn their enemies of their presence – fleeing from fear alone and ending the conflict as it is. If the enemy fights, however, they will look for them.
They will find them.
And they will kill them.
Move name: The TRUE Spartan
When activated it weeds out AI or human opponents who are too ugly or weak to survive & throws them into a pit. It then activates the “Enforced Sodomy” protocols, where the older players anally dominate the younger ones, women are ignored & left to fight on their own servers & all players swear that this is for the good of the community. It finishes with the enslavement of noobs who are forced to rank up for the Spartan players.
Warning: vulnerable to sneak attacks from hunchbacks & Persians.
Koala Drop.
Simply jump while targeting an enemy to teleport directly above their head and decapitate them on your decent with your energy sword. Attack will leave you vulnerable for 14hrs while you Netflix and Chill with some eucalyptus leaves.
The Autocorrect.
Automatically changes any poor language to be more palatable. Examples would include:
“What the duck?”
“Are you pooping me?”
“Stop ducking around on reddit and kill some birds”
“The Beard”
When activated, a beard on your spartan begins to grow over the helmet. Each of your kills see’s your beard grow 2 cms longer. After achieving many kills during the match, your opponents will see you and cower in fear as they see your beard dragging across the floor.
Spartan Online Blackmail – gives you the ability to read enemies minds, then post their most embarrassing secrets on whatever futuristic alien equivalent there is of social media.
Aussi-Morph-Teleous
So i could morph into an Australian and teleport too Australia to be eligible to enter the competition and have a chance at winning 🙁
The “RvB”
Instantly transforms the game for all players into remote camera view, where acting ability dictates lifespan. Players have 30 seconds to create their best video clip, with voice overs required. Winning team granted 30 second buff of 5 Derek Zoolanders….
The Three for Free
When used, your next three shots with any weapon are instant kills. On the last of the three shots, all enemy players will be automatically muted for three minutes because by this stage you are pretty damn sick of hearing how great this power was in the previous Halo games.
“The Flash”
Gain temporary double movement and ammunition speed and enemies slow down to half speed, as does their ammunition.
Lasts for 5 seconds, ragdoll physics begin if you melee the enemy and unload bullets into them during slowmo.
“MegaSpartan™”
After a numerous amount of consecutive kills, it gives you the ability to transform into a MegaSpartan™! All allies will receive a prompt on their screen, asking if they’d like to “join” the MegaSpartan™. As each ally joins, they embody a certain weapon on the body of MegaSpartan™. Obviously the more allies that join, the more powerful MegaSpartan™ grows (increased health, more active weapons, more eyes). It’s pretty much the most ultimate weapon, ever!
Did I mention what it was called? No? IT’S THE MEGASPARTAN™!
“Master-Bait” – Allows you to set up a tea-bagging hologram.
Man, thats good.
Cheers mate!
It’s called the “The Dinklebot”
You call upon your ghost, voiced by the ever-monotone and moon quoting Peter Dinklage, to yell insults at other players, and at Bungie, screaming “Halo was better under Bungie!” and “That wizard came from the moon.”
The ghost will then be replaced by Nolan North, where he will continually shout phrases from every video game ever. (He has been in every video game ever.)
“The Translator” Upon being killed by someone who was clearly cheating because you shot them first, anything you say is translated into “That was a great display of skill, you clearly deserved that kill, you mother must be so proud” and then sent to them.
PvP Ability: ‘Gift of the Sun’
There you are in the battlefield – it’s time for your ability.
Crouch. Stand. Crouch. Stand.
Empty your weapon’s magazine.
Crouch. Stand. Crouch. Stand.
Look Vertically Up.
Crouch. Stand. Crouch. Stand.
Double Jump—
In the background, the choir sings; you hover into the air, beams of radiant solar energy blasting outwards from your body. Your armour cracks, and a white bright light envelops the screen…
The light dissipates. All opponents in the game lose control of their Spartans, who fall to their knees.
From your body emerges Xylar the Timeless, a unicorn lost to the Ages. He opens his mouth, and whispers the words: “Exodia, obliterate!”
Your 5.1 surround sound system blows, and your TV starts to glow red hot. But you don’t care, because something mystical is happening on the screen…
“Defeat”
“Duck” – Chosen enemies will all have their weapon bullets and projectiles turn into harmless flying ducks for a short duration. *No ducks will be harmed during the use of this Spartan Ability*
Equip Spartan Blankey – This is for those of us who get their asses handed to them in PvP, when dead, push X to equip Spartan Blankey and pretend its just nap time, not that you died
‘The Lightsaber Initiative’
What would happen is once you have charged you’re Spartan pack to full capacity you can unleash two lightsabers to your hands and destroy anything that stands in your way. As you do this Admiral Ackbar will be over the comms commenting on the action and even saying his famous line if you’re extra good. Jar Jar Binks commenter will be exclusive to season pass owners!
The Industry Standard
Brings Halo more in line with other popular FPS franchises by reducing each match to a single quick-time cinematic event.
The BSOD (Black Screen Of Death)
The spartan Kneels down and screams “Xbox, turn off”, causing all players in the area to instantly disappear.
The Spartan Courage
When your Spartan is forced to watch six seasons of Sex in the City with the significant other in order to win enough points to defeat the covenant. #truestory
“Line Breaker”
You get it while playing campaign and when used it unlocks the split screen co-op, its in a super secret part of the maps though and requires near frame perfect trick jumps to get to.
The Spartan Mash
It was a Gravemind smash.
‘The MCC’
Gives your opponents connectivity issues.
The revival:
This ability can only be used once per match, mostly because the match is over before the ability finished.
After dying for the first time, an ambulance crew rushed in to perform cpr, and rush you off to the nearest medical care facility for urgent treatment depending on your injuries. You will spend the next few days of game play in your recovery ward (which isn’t even a private room) watching whatever is on the tiny tv, and listening to your fellow patients snore and complain.
After this you’ll begin the painful journey of physical therapy, slowly progressing through your exercises to regain full mobility. After a few months of game play your spartan will finally be ready to resume life as normal, although your doctor will heavily advise against any sort of competition making you feel really guilty.
Now you are free to join your next match, only to find out that everyone else has reach a skill level infinitely higher than your own, and have to use the revival again.
No longer a resident so I’m not eligible to win, but just for fun I present to you “Spartan Brew.”
Alcohol has been a longstanding tradition to make uni Halo games a little more interesting. My favorite variation has always been the one where you take a drink every time you make a kill–it becomes a self-regulating mechanism that helps to balance things out when your friends don’t all have the same skill level, and prevents Slayer matches from becoming a game of “who can kill the one casual player the most.”
With Spartan Brew, you carry an excellent selection of adult refreshments that your killer can’t help but loot and enjoy, causing all of the classic symptoms of inebriation: blurry vision, slowed responses, impaired fine motor control (manifesting as unpredictable sensitivity in aiming and failures to reload), inability to remain silent and stealthy (you randomly give away your position with sounds or show up on motion detectors even when crouching or still), and at more extreme levels of intoxication, bouts of debilitating nausea, the tendency to stare fascinated at live grenades before throwing them, and occasional premature weapons discharge. Particularly inebriated Spartans may also shed some or all of their armor at inappropriate times, though DLC will be needed to activate this feature.
Bait n’ Blast
Set up a decoy and send it out and when it dies it will explode in 3 seconds Damaging and paralyzing all would be tea baggers within a certain radius.
I’m guessing I’m not the only one thinking that what first person shooters have been missing is the freedom to choose not to fight. My Spartan ability would be the “peace activist” power up. For too long the chief has had to suppress his desire for peace and harmony among all races, species and aliens. Finally it’s time to show that being a finely tuned killing machine doesn’t mean you need to hurt anyone, even ironically…
In the heat of battle a spartan could activate this ability and gain the following moves:
1. The immovable object – always running, never standing your pacifist ground? hit y to chain yourself to the nearest heavy object, no covenant warmonger will ever move you from the battlefield again.
2. The florist – just because covenant troops are ugly doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate beauty too. hit x to place a flower in the barrel of your enemy’s weapon, causing it to question the mindless killing instinct driving it on.
3. The sit in – what if they held a war but nobody showed up? Hit A to perch cross legged on the ground and show those grunts how a real soldier refuses to bear arms.
And
4. The placard – finding no one appreciates your message of peace and love? hit B to fold out a placard showing your fellow Spartans that you are prepared to “give peace a chance”.
Think of all the achievements these actions could be linked to, not to mention the additional merchandising!
I’d call it the Frisky AI ability. It makes a friendly Spartan AI get on edge like they’ve had some bad eckies’
It’s called the ‘Stocco Shield’. Allows the Spartan to hide, like an invisibility cloak, for 8yrs once activated but instantly stops working if the Spartan stops moving. If player shoots at other players whilst using the ability they are permanently on the mini map until the end of the round.
“Spartan Flip”
By activating their magnetic boots, a Spartan is able to attach themselves to any magnetic objects. If they use this ability in conjunction with their booster rockets and any momentum, some Spartans can run up an Elite, activate their boots, and then flip themselves over smashing the Elite’s face into the dirt.
Rumour has it that Spartans have even managed to use this trick to redirect a boosting ghost causing it to crash, or even pull the shield off a hunter.
Well I’ve never played Halo but I’ll have a go.
This is called ‘the rochambeau’ and the ability allows the Spartan do deliver a powerful kick, enough to flip vehicles, kill enemies and send them flying with enough force to destroy other players or vehicles. Anyone in multilayer hit has to wait to respawn due to the agony inflicted by the rochambeau.
Shonen Spartan – The user of this ability enters a godlike form where tentacles unravel from their body and they obtain the most impractical armor ever. They become immortal from the power of their allegiances and friendships and fire white plasma grenades from the tips of their tentacles.
This ability can be used a second time to grow to much more monstrous form where the user will then weild a massive all-cutting sword. The user will also move at ten times the speed of others, gains Infect, First-Strike, Spartanwalk, and Deathtouch. Also gains indestructible and will not be considered a Spartan if devotion to Spartan is under 5. its power and toughness is X/X where X is the number of allies and enemies you have.
“The Carlton”
You break into the Carlton dance and all enemies within 20m uncontrollably join you and are unable to attack.
Tired and yearning to get ontop of that out of reach anti-material rifle possition? Well be tired and yearn no more! Introducing our new and improved AeroPropelPro 5000! Upon activation and announcing the phrase “Go-Go-Gadget AeroPropel; a cap on the top of the helmate snaps open and out flings a 15ft, quad bladed propeller to launch you safely to that once out of reach location! Who needs rusty, old worn out jet packs or slow maneuvering low gravity zones when you could fly in the comfort and style of the AeroPropelPro 5000. Directional input is controlled via the Revision 2 Power Glove; one size fits all and now available in a variety of slick colours to suit even the most stylish of Spartan Warriors! ……..Batteries sold separately.
“The Pop Blast” The Spartans Blast Pop songs like Justin Bieber and One direction from there armour and it has various effects on the Covent. Grunts gas tanks immediately exploded instantly killing them, Jackals arm shield collapse causing the jackals to retreat away from the sound (even if it means jumping off a cliff) Elites shields will pop and the elites will become slow and disorientated and start firing in all directions and last of all Hunter’s and for some reason they like it they will stop moving and all you will hear is a loud purr like sound from them but be wary this won’t last long. WARNING do not use this armour ability on Prometheans, They hate the sound of pop music and will instantly aggro and attack you (you will not survive)
Spartan ability – Tips fedora –
A fedora flies across the screen caught by the spartan in a prowess manner. The spartan bellows “m’lady” summoning an army of Bronies to charge enemy Spartans. With each kill the screaming of “m’lady” grows lower and the tipping of the fedora intensifies
The Cait Mate
When activated Masterchief slowly turns into Caitlyn Jenner and begins to make the players be thankful they live in a world with that much courage.
I just want to be able to turn into the spartan version of “Macho Man” Randy Savage.
OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHH!
and you know, hijinks ensue.
Spartan ability – Tips fedora –
A fedora flies across the screen caught by the spartan in a prowess manner. The spartan bellows “m’lady” summoning an army of Bronies to charge enemy Spartans. With each kill the screaming of “m’lady” grows lower and the tipping of the fedora intensifies
The Killer Instinct/The Cyclops
Master Chief’s visor opens with a blinding light to perform a fatality akin to Orchid’s from KI, or a major blast of directed fire similar to the X-Men leader’s.
The Maximum Speed
A short burst of energy akin to the Crysis super soldier’s which allows for greater jumps over distances, as well as faster short run bursts.
The Snake/The Steven Seagal
Upon depletion of ammo, Master Chief can perform a series of take downs via use of CQC, perhaps while announcing ‘Kept you waiting, huh’ or ‘Come cut my heart out!’
The Cortana
Not so much a Spartan ability per se, but at the start of each mission, having the option to select between playing as either Master Chief or Cortana would be pretty awesome. With photo mode.
The Grenade Propelled Spartan, or GPS. A Spartan takes plasma grenade and sticks it to his own butt. Upon exploding the grenade propels the Spartan forward towards the Covenant.
General surgeons warning: use of GPS may cause dismemberment or death.
“The Spartan Selfie”
Blinds surrounding enemies with the mobile camera flash by taking a sweet photo of yourself whilst mid-battle. Residual blindness for the enemies by uploading the photo smattered with random annoying hashtags (#spartanlol, #redteam4lyfe, etc) directly to enemy visor HUDs.
NOTE: Not to be used next to cliffs or at the top of buildings, as it’s potentially hazardous to one’s health.
“Spartan Trip”
Trip is an ability which allows players to trip over on will. It is activated by pushing the both bumpers at the same time, and has a different effect depending on the state of the Spartan.
When sprinting, Trip can be used to perform a similar move to sliding, but with far greater distance covered and a long wait to be restored from prone to standing.
When airborne, Trip can be used to perform an impromptu belly flop, which has a similar result to a ground pound. It can be performed quickly to remove shields and immobilize an enemy (or friend). Using Trip in the air has two risks; if you fail to land on anyone you both lose your shield and remain prone for 2 seconds, and if you Trip from over 10 feet, missing someone will cause instant death, while landing on someone will result in an instant assassination.
When standing still, Trip can be used to fall backwards clumsily to the ground while accidentally releasing and activating all currently stored grenades. If timed perfectly, Trip can be used to counter an assassination attempt.
When riding any vehicle, Trip can be used as an instant escape mechanism, causing the same drawbacks as when used airborne.
Trivia – Trip is often used by celebrating teammates to create a “Stacks On!” effect. In competitive play, it can be used to grief teammates and often results in embarrassment and death. A bug causes Trip to result in instant suicide when used while crouching, which has become a form of Seppuku, “ritual suicide”.
Number Of The Beast
After a certain amount of kills you get a chrome unicorn to ride into battle on.
Insta-nag
Once activated all players on the other team have their significant other/parents/siblings instantly enter their room and start nagging in the background about something: not changing nappies of kids/cleaning their room/taking out the trash/etc causing a massive distraction until they are forced to quit and do whatever menial task has been thrown upon them.
Instant win to the player who uses it.
Spartan Shout. You emit an ultrasonic field around yourself for a period of time, disorienting enemies. Useful for getting out of tricky situations or escaping boring parties, what better way to exit than yell “THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA” and have everyone around you fall down as you majestically leave (or run away)
I envision the “Dancing with Myself”, overcome by the traumatic loss of your AI personal assistant/virtual significant other your “loss and fury” Superbar fills up. When you initiate the Special ability you can’t stand the sight of another Spartan/enemy within a 10 meter radius and charge frenetically from opponent to opponent King hitting them until the ‘dance floor’ is clear for you to shoegaze dance while hugging yourself to the eponymous 80s Classic until the special bar runs out.
Fearsome Clown
What it more scary than a clown! Damn I got nightmares from Stephen King’s IT… In fact you could call it piss your pants clown ability!
overcharges all plasma weapons in the vicinity effectively turing them into detonating plasma grenades, what better way to fight the covenant than to literally turn their own weapons against them?
The Aussie Thong Slap
First used by the ODST (Ozzy Drop Shock Troopers) to stun their enemies while trying to rescue important supplies sent from VB. Its also where their motto came from: Thongs first into HELL!
‘The Fruiterer’
Your grenades are switched out with apples, bananas and oranges.
When tagged with an apple the opponent is immediately turned into a still sentient pile of fresh produce and can roll around to degree to attempt to avoid harm. Running over the produce confers a 20% overshield bonus per piece squashed.
The bananas are thrown like mines and any player running over them immediately loses traction and will continue to slide until they collide with a barrier, player (killing them and conferring the kill to the banana thrower), vehicle or subsequently fall of a cliff.
When hit with an orange the player will detonate into a cloud of orange mist leaving only an orange splatter on the ground. The text “Freshly squeezed” will display on their screen and the Halo narrator will say a variety of things from “Freshly squeezed,” “That spartan was juicy,” “Nothing like a freshly squeezed glass of MC in the morning”
The ‘Loot Cave’ easter egg event
[Definitely not inspired by one of Destiny’s many release flaws.. 😉 ]
Keeping (somewhat) to a Halo tradition: On a level that contains many caves or doorways, tunnels etc.. a hidden area will contain a skull out in the open, withheld on an ancient precipice.. the ‘Destiny’ skull.
If the user picks up and wields the skull, characters and creatures from Halo ‘dressed’ like characters from Destiny will flood from the caves and attempt to kill you. Why would they try and kill you? Because this skull holds the souls of 1000 guardians who tried and failed to contain its great power, the skull now more powerful than ever.
Fortunately, John spartan 117 has been chosen by the skull and is immediately gifted with its power; super smash brothers scale melee power. If you are tactical, send all of the enemies flying and survive the near game-crashing flood of enemies, the enemy caves will drop colored orbs (like in Destiny) that when you approach will actually be picked up as various power weapons, perks or abilities to obliterate the rest of the level with. Eat your heart out.
The Split Screen.
Upon activation, 343i come to their senses and patch in split-screen co-op so long time fans can play the game the way it’s always been played, the way it deserves to be played.
The rodeo clown.
Ability to jump on the back of an unsuspecting enemy. One hand around its neck, the other firmly grasping your weapon. Using skills learnt in the early wars, you are able to direct the enemies path of movement while at the same time, using them as a meat shield.
If you hold on for too long you may get ‘bucked’ off and take fire as you try to regain your footing. Otherwise you can finish your enemy by snapping their neck or if you want to cause confusion, you can dismount and kick the enemy towards your targets in front of you giving you time to find cover.
The Bristol Medic
when you melee an opponent from behind you get to not only see there location until they die nex, it also leaves a wet brown trail behind them for you to follow.
Please refer to the Bristol Stool Chart (type 7) for punch line
EDIT- the medic part comes from the ability to revive the opponent to activate the ability
Spartan Ability SR388
Upon use your Spartan Warrior drops their weapon and brings their right arm into camera view as it transforms into Samus Arans Arm Cannon.
Whilst active your usual arsenal is replaced with her own most popular abilities such as Wave Beam, Super Missile, and Grapple Beam, instead of grenades you command a Baby Metroid to a location where is will latch on to a nearby enemy draining them of their life force and feeding to you upon it’s return and not only recharging your current shield but adding new shield containers to your HUD.
By the end of the match your enemies are no longer charging into battle to engage you but are instead running in fear as you hunt them down like the minimal threat they are. proving once and for all that Samus Arans Chozo Tech Power Suit is only true power suit in the entire gaming universe.
Shield broadcast
Integrating broadcast power technology from old UNSC’s experimentation with powered exoskeletons to the fusion packs of the Gen 2 mjolnir armour, team medics are able to temporary restore shields of teammates within short distance by draining their own shield energy. However, even with improvements to the technology, UNSC technicians have not broken past the 50% efficiency barrier, effectively consigning this ability to last ditch efforts for teams to survive an engagement.
Use: Hold button to use. All teammates within 10m radius has their shields restored at 50% rate of your own shields draining. (fully draining your own shields from 100% would charge theirs by 50%)
My idea is the “Suplex Shockwave” it would be a melee back attack that is comprised of a perfect bridge German suplex which upon impact would create an aoe shockwave I reckon about the grenade raduis would be good.
Nude Spartan Take Down: Like the Spartans of old you remove all your armour and wrestle it out. Forces your opponent to remove theirs and becomes a button masher.
The Holo-Bag
A combination of the Hologram ability from 4 and the classy act of ‘tea bagging’. Upon a successful/killstreak the ability becomes available for use. Holo`s will spawn and head out to teabag current corpses. The more kills racked up without dying the more clones sent to deliver the payload.
Tartan ability- Giant haggises (is that the plural?) descend from the sky. They don’t shoot, or squash any covenant. They just sit there whilst everyone realises its the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep boiled in it’s own stomach, at which point everyone buggers off to engage in some nationally recognised cross-dressing, talking incomprehensibly, and go colour blind due to multiple clashing colours forming a criss crossed pattern throughout the land.
EYES ONLY / Top Secret
Pod Man –
Taking inspiration from the 20th century film, “Invasion of the body Snatchers”, a new ability has been developed for the SPARTAN II’s. For short duration’s the SPARTAN can infest and remote control a targets mind using advanced on board AI to assist in the multi operational functions of two bodies.
Grunts are currently immune to this ability, in so far as it will immediately kill the intended target, studies show that their brains are too small to be infested correctly.
Infestation:
The target will be hit with a small and localized strain of flood DNA, in the form of a small needle shot from the pauldron of the MJOLNIR MK5, targeted specifically towards the brain of non-humans. The strain is as virulent as it is short lived. Targets are expected to be under the control of the SPARTAN for approximately 1 standard minute.
Testing Results
***Field Redacted***
**Per Orders of Admiral Osman**
End Report
Documented and Recorded by Dr Catherine Halsey
Death Disco
This spartan ability must first be enabled by searching for the magical rainbow mushrooms hidden throughout various campaign and multiplayer levels. Once spotted you must hover over it and continuously squat until you hear a ‘pop’ sound as it perfectly slides itself inside the cavity of your spartan. This next part is the trade off for using such an OP spartan ability as you must survive the next 30 seconds by avoiding engagement with real world enemies and the newly realized enemies of colourful dragons, leprechauns and the host of ‘who’s line is it anyway?’ (where the points don’t matter), all whilst Caitlyn Jenner sings “all the small things” in her best impersonation of Bruce Jenner. Upon the completion of this 30 seconds a loud ‘ding’ is heard and a disco ball grenade falls from your Spartans cavity and the hallucinations cease. You are now ready.
Once thrown, any enemy trapped inside its blast radius is immediately enclosed in a shiny, sparkling disco ball and forced to dance to the tune of a 70’s disco classic. If one enemy is trapped inside they are simply trapped inside, helplessly boogieing until the completion of the song. If there are multiple…. only one can survive and its a dance to the death. Those trapped inside must engage in Quick time events with each other to perform deadly moves until one is left standing. Of course, any deaths inside the disco-ball count to your score.
*Really useful for objective game types and clearing packs of grunts
FUN FACT – If you’re feeling adventurous cook one of these for yourself whilst holding the flag from CTF to show the other team just how boss you are by sliding around the disco ball, using the flag as a microphone and stand!
baids_4@hotmail.com
“Captivating Cortana”
You project a hologram of Cortana in some sexy lingerie to distract your opponents while you sneak around to assassinate them.
“The Tekken”
When activated within close proximity to an enemy, the two combatants are engaged in a 15 second fight to the death. All weapons are disabled and the winner is whoever has more hp at the end, or reduces the opponent’s hp to zero.
If the opponent is defeated before the end of the time, a special fatality may be used called “The Spartan Bag” which is like the teabag but completely different. The victor crouches over the face of the downed opponent then gyrates for a couple seconds, at which time the opponent’s body will explode in a shower of gibs. The victor will receive extra points, and the event will be announced to all players.
This ability may also be used against multiple opponents to initiate a team fight or battle royal, depending on the selected game mode.
Master Blaster:
when activated, all the members of the enemy team will hear the intro of the song “Sandstorm” creeping up on them through the speakers. At first, the volume will begin barely noticeable but is exponentially increasing for about 1 minute until it becomes f***ing unbearable for the last few seconds. It has something like a 5 minute cooldown so it can’t be abused, but just enough to f**k around with the enemy team, making them essentially deaf of the in-game sounds. Maybe, this could only be available as the current top player in the game to choose from (most kills/king of the hill/oddball, etc.), so that the other team would be the only ones affected and prevent everyone from constantly listening to sandstorm on both teams… + giving the mvp that extra little sense of power that he always feels he deserves.
This would still exist in singleplayer like the other abilities, with basically the same effect as in multiplayer. Only with the difference that when the music begins, all of the enemies nearby will go into “panic-mode” like the grunts sometimes do, giving you 60 seconds of danger free ass-kicking with sandstorm raging in the background.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsp4xHGGzbk
Imagine this being every. single. game. ever. F**k yeah!
My Spartan ability is the Gravity Fist: Gravity Fist when used makes what ever it punches super heavy so heavy infact that it can’t move and if on the side of a cliff the cliff gives way, or if on a roof it will give way. And if it happens to be organic it will be crushed by its own weight.
“Soviet Spartan”
When activated this ability awakens your inner communist. Your armour becomes the Crimson of the soviet and flag and the bright yellow hammer and sickle become emblazoned on your chest. Then, you might communist overlords Marx, Stalin and Lenin descend from the heavens and bestow upon you a might energy sickle*, gravity hammer and mighty soviet damage boost for you to start your rebellion against the other Spartan bourgeoise. All the while the soviet national anthem is playing in the background while you shout “Workers of the world, unite!”.
*energy sickle would work the same as an energy sword.
Spartan Ability: “suicide grunt”
Activate two grenades and hold them in your hands. You now have 15 seconds to do whatever you want before exploding.
Ability: Fusion
So this would be like an over-limit ability where Spartans would temporary fuse with an A.I (like Cortana, Roland, or one of the installation A.I’s) to increase their abilities like movement speed, strength and weapon proficiency. The look of this combination would be a kind of overlay on amour of the color that represents the A.I (Cortana = Blue, Roland = Yellow), similar kind of visuals to the tech amour from Mass Effect 2 and 3, but of course much more bad ass!
Imagine storming the battlefield with an overpowered Spartan and Cortana, looking a raging blue fire, while your enemies run fear.
The background for this ability could be that the UNSC has been experimenting on Promethean’s and has found a way to push the abilities of Spartans further with the use of an A.I to help regulate the increased power. On Promethean Knights you can already see a kind of orange glow or fire being concealed within their amour, so similar effects would show in Spartans that use the power, though the color would differ depending on the A.I used.
UNSC project code name: Ares.
=BACKGROUND=
Forerunner presence has been always surging with ancient power through the universe. With emerging capability from reverse engineering salvaged promethean technology the UNSC has stumbled upon the next great step for the Spartan.
The Forerunner Ironclad Mk.1 (FIC)
This upgrade to the Spartan takes them to the next level making them ideal to take on the extreme battle conditions that they will have to face with the war against the self appointed forerunner A.I leader.
The Ironclad is an exo-phased suit that integrates itself with the Spartan armour increasing their efficiency tenfold. The FIC integrates and upgrades their thruster packs to the new promethean phased blink to quickly gain advantageous positions in offence or defence. The Ground pound ability gains an upgrade as well. The FIC now grants an explosive disintegration that destroys all close proximity threats. This is only a small selection of the arsenal that comes with the FIC.
Currently the suit can only be activated for a limited period of time due to constraints with the forerunner code taking over the Spartan armour, malfunctioning the suit and damaging the Spartan inside. The UNSC will remain adamant with improvements to the FIC for future Spartans to come.
=GAMEPLAY=
FIC is an upgrade to the Spartan providing upgrades to all of their abilities for a temporary time, making them an offensive or defensive threat that will wreak havoc for your team.
Unlike most power weapons that have an instant pick up as they spawn. The FIC requires the player to hold X to active the suit construction process which immobilizes the player and takes 7 seconds to complete. This encourages team play and pushing the power up together. The FIC also acts like a strong over shield that wears the suit away as it takes damage.
“Repel diarrhea”
Allows me to digest favourite lactose based foods such as milk, ice cream and cheese without having to go all ham in the toilet.
Turns self into stone, at which point he becomes immobile.
The “Whodunnit” (colloquially known as the “Who’s (not) Your Daddy but is acting like him”) – an instant radar sense that detects for the closest 12 year old player who slept with your mother. Activation of the ability will give the user a Predator-like vision where through walls and many objects, the player who may/may not have/claims to have slept with your mother illuminates, thus giving away their location. They slept with your mother? Well now you can make them sleep with the fishes (and Covenant Koi http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Covenant_Koi).
New Spartan ability: “Johnson’s ghost”. The spartan can now target the ghost of Sgt. Johnson onto an enemy player, who then follows that player around the whole time they are alive. When the target player dies the ghost of Johnson teabags them whilst yelling quotes such as “Mm they must love the smell of testosterone!” and “I know what the ladies like!”
The “Moonwalk”
You perform the dance move moonwalk for 15s, during which time you are invulnerable to any damage and effect and able to control the moonwalk direction. It takes 15mins to recharge.
Environmental Bonuses
If you are on a planet, the duration of the dance move, invulnerability and recharge time is multiply by the number of moons orbiting the planet. If there is no moon, you will still perform the dance move as normal but without the invulnerability effect and recharge time.
If you are on a moon, you will stun any character that have you within their field of view until either 2s after the ability expires or 2s after you move out of their field of view. Stunned characters cannot move their body, vehicles or field of view and cannot use any ability, item and weapon but everything else will be as normal.
Dropping In
A drop-pod will call from the sky if you activate the ability before dying in 60 seconds, Can also be used as a way to get Revenge kills if the enemy who killed you is underneath the drop-pod.
The Firefly
This Spartan ability can only be used once per match, within two minutes of it starting. Upon use, it instantly changes the opposing team’s characters into skins of Rupert Murdoch and the 2002 Fox executive board, for your eyes only. They will remain this way, for your slaughtering pleasure, until the end of the match.
Planned future DLC will allow you to select the team that prematurely cancelled any of your favourite TV shows within the last 20 years.
The Spartan Smoko
Your Spartan team decides it’s time for a short break and calls smoko.
They sit down on ammo crates or little fold out stools, help themselves to a pie and a Big-M, and maybe break out the thermos for a quick cuppa. During this time they either discuss how the job is doing or, if the boss is not around, complain about the boss who clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing with this project.
This goes for about 10-15 minutes depending on how long it takes for the team to decide they can be buggered getting back to work. At which point they will do a half-hearted job of it until it’s lunchtime in a couple of hours.
The Spartan Smoko doesn’t really have any beneficial effects, but if you don’t do it every match the team will get cranky and slack off even more. So you better do it.
UNSC Atomic Wedgie
The MC sneaks up behind an opponent before grabbing their undies with both hands and reefing them up with enough force to pull them over his head. While the victim buckles over clutching his privates, he wraps the vastly elongated undies around his neck and proceeds to strangle him with them. Finishes by mumbling “Don’t get your panty’s in a twist” as he walks off.
Arms-ageddon
Arms rain from the sky, causing mass destruction.
The Exam
Enemies are suddenly hit by this unyielding and overpowering fear of the near future.
They drop their weapons and clasp their heads in their hands, not wanting to do anything about the test they know is soon approaching.
Depending on the emotional health on an individual, some enemies may be in a fit enough state of mind to turn tails and run towards their room where they may study, but otherwise most enemies simply give up to procrastination and yield to their oncoming failure.
The Split Screen
Allows another player to use half of the screen to control his own hero.
Could be used as an easter egg referencing the previous games.
Inverted
All other players within 150m have their controls switched to inverted for 1 minute. Finally those who somehow can play inverted will reign! Have fun watching everyone shoot either directly into the ground or straight up in the air.
The path ahead looked grim. Two dozen Elites & a handful of Hunters blocked the one route that would get them of this damn planet. Lieutenant Lasky was bleeding heavily from the chest & he would’t last the night. There was no time to loose. With no grenades & little ammunition, John took a breath, considered the only option he had left & set to getting him & Lasky off this planet for good.
“Lasky, stay here I have a plan, don’t move a muscle, got it?” “….Right Chief, whatever you’re going to do, just hurry” Lasky winced as he clutched his hand tight against his chest before slouching down against a flattened rock face.
John moved with urgency & precision. “Cortana, listen, I need to ask a favor” “Anything Chief.” came Cortana’s voice. “Cortana there’s only one way through that mess ahead, I need you to activate code-name…. SPARKLE MOTION.” “Chief no! you can’t. you’re not ready! “Cortana just do it.” “…..Ok Chief. If you insist.” Chief then stepped forward out of cover, now fully in view of the enemy ahead. “Thank’s Cortz. I’m sorry. I wanted to save this for our wedding day : ( ” “I know, it’s ok” came Cortana’s voice softly.
Chief then closed his eyes, pressed the tiny Ability module under his left wrist & waited for the first movement to begin. – Set to the song Space Halo by Olivia Lufkin.
…First it was the sound, deep harmonic sways of Violin rose gently. Then the singers voiced fluttered in. The song began to play loudly, consuming John’s every essence. The enemy now fully aware of the demon’s presence, scrambled to the defense. Then a blinding light broke forth from where the Chief stood standing & before the enemy could regain their vision, now stood a Magical Girl….
——————–
Thanks guys! Hope this is worthy : D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1b-9Tl4x6Q I recommend listening to the track as you read.
tim_tales@hotmail.com
The new spartan ability is called “BFF mode”
Your spartan is made real and is now your best friend so you have someone to play split-screen with! … Oh wait… 🙁
The Great Down Under
Turns the Spartan into a random Australian animal (any, they’re all vicious!) and the ground around the Spartan becomes lethal to all within 5m, centered on the Spartan. Ends after next kill or when the Spartan is killed, potentially by the very ground he spawned on.
I’ve got it.
The Tie Fighter
When active, all enemies get a tie fighter, working guns, shields and all.
However, from then on till the point of their next death the person’s activities will be narrated by Jar Jar, the only way to stop his infuriating squawks is death.
All player suicides while impacted by this ability go to the Masterchief who used the ability..
for use in multiplayer only.
Randy Sp-orton
For 60 seconds, your melee attack turns into a Randy Orton ‘Outta Nowhere’ style takedown which results in the hit enemy losing their shield and you switching their weapon with yours while they are in a daze.
“True Love’s First Kiss”
A thick haze of missiles
as needles fills the air –
strafing left and right to dodge them
you needn’t ever despair.
As you leap into the fray
grenades are tossed all around
with explosions blasting holes
as they tumble on the ground.
Flying just under your legs
a high caliber bullet misses
from the sniper perched above
angrily cursing and hisses:
“WORT WORT WORT
Human! Ayeeyee-yaah!
Rewook rewook,
Urgghhh wuudagraan!”
Though he makes no sense,
you cannot help but feel
a deep and longing connection
to that which resembles an overgrown eel.
There’s something in the air,
something quite amiss,
but a sparkle in its eye
as it yells that deadly hiss.
Eliminating grunts,
brutes and hunters alike,
you dash across the battlefield
while dealing fatal strikes.
A plasma grenade stuck there,
a pistol headshot over here:
while all this time perched,
that sniper snarls and leers.
With shotgun in hand,
you blast through the last foe
until you’re face to face,
with your sweet-looking beau.
He tries his hardest,
to plunge the shimmering blade
straight through your chest,
but truly your heart he’s impaled
You parry the blow with ‘RB’,
and knock him to his back.
Leaping forward you unarm him,
so he cannot attack.
He screams and fights
and lets out a cry.
But little does he know,
he’s the apple of your eye.
You charge up your power,
and unleash your trueborn spartan ability:
with True Love’s First Kiss
you end all hostility.
Your enemies and allies,
alike they cannot understand.
Yet they have witnessed,
the first bonding of alien and man.
Silence envelopes the skirmish,
not a peep, shot or blast.
This is the start of an interspecies peace
that is destined to last.
Also boneylad@hotmail.com, not sure if it’s on my account or not..
Just made it!
To obtain to most out of the entry, I suggest playing this song over the background while you read this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uufKI-QHNLI
The End.
A foghorn blares over the battlefield. You and your comrades pause. You look at the weapons in your hand, and then at your opponents across the field. In unison, you all drop your weapons, and take off you masks. Tears stream down your face as you realise that this war has all been pointless. You and your enemies begin to walk towards each other, before meeting in the middle. Everyone on the battlefield hugs and cries, over the death and destruction they have caused.
A short time later, you all rise. You ask your new friends if they enjoy drinking. They say yes. You say you know a great pub down the galaxy, and they should join you, to which they agree. You all walk off towards your ships, arms across each other’s shoulders smiling.
As you are flying in your ship towards the pub, you use your phone. Your wife answers, and starts crying when you tell her you are coming home. She says she and your child will be waiting when you get there. You tell her you love her, before hanging up, and look out the window at the different planets, smiling.
Spartan Locked:
S. Special
P. Promethean
A. Armour
R. Rendering
T. The
A. Applicant
N. Naked
L. Leaving
O. Others
C. Confused
K. Keeps
E. Enemies
D. Disengaged
You have the ability to poison those around you with a gas that not only renders them useless, but slowly takes away a bit of their health every few minutes, there is no remedy except death. The gas is dispersed through a combination of a gas bomb and the jump jets, when you enable the jump jets you have the option to use the poison, leaving your enemies in agony and you bounding to safety, or to simply jump away and save your poison for next time.
Judging started an hour ago, good luck all! Some great reads in there 🙂
Does anyone know when they’re announcing the winners?
“Explosive”
This power up would replace the jet pack, but add an EXTREMELY bad case of explosive diahria. When the powerup is actived your Spartan will fly into the air propelled by the power of his own explosive diarrhea. Not only does this propel you through the air but it rains death down upon your foes. Anyone who is below your gassy explosions will be killed.