Tinder can be great for a quick hook-up, but more often than not it’s a never-ending trawl through photos that make you wonder what exactly they were thinking. Swipe for long enough and you’ll start to notice a distinct theme — so what better way to celebrate the demise of modern dating culture than with a drinking game?
Posing with tigers, fishing with the mates, selfies at Thredbo — some photos crop up on Tinder way more than others. We’re not saying that any of these behaviours are necessarily bad (hell, I’m guilty of half of them myself), just that they’re everywhere — and they don’t always send the right message to potential dates. Note that these rules are made for women swiping for men, but many of them apply for both genders, and there’s no reason you can’t use a fake female account to play. We won’t tell anyone!
The World Traveller
“You see that bridge behind me? Hell yeah I’m in Florence. Let me tell you all about how I’m pretty much a local since my last Contiki tour.”
Take a drink whenever someone’s got their holiday photos up in their Tinder photos. You might want to make it a small one — it sometimes feels like half the population of Europe is comprised of boozed-up Aussies during the summer months.
The Dog Boy
“Remember that movie ‘Must Love Dogs’? That could be us!”
Take a drink whenever a potential match’s photo has a dog in it. If their bio also has something about how much they love dogs (or has a dog emoji) drink twice.
It’s well known that having a pet in the photo can be a shortcut to Tinder success, but the number of dogs seems to vastly outnumber the number of cats on male profiles.
The Steve Irwin
“I’m like that guy who lived with lions for a year, only I paid some guy 200 rupees to pose next to this one.”
Drink every time someone’s photo depicts them posing next to some sort of exotic animal — a snake, a lion, maybe he’s even got a falcon on his arm.
Drink twice if he has the exact same photo next to drugged tigers in a Thai temple as everyone else who’s ever been to Bangkok.
The Action Man
“The feeling I get when I surf/scuba/skydive/climb makes me feel connected to the universe. I’m a free spirit.”
Drink every time you see a picture of a guy engaged in a potentially death defying sport.
Most often taken with a GoPro. Drink twice if he describes himself as ‘adventurous’ in his bio, or says that he wants to date an ‘adventurous’ woman.
The Winter Holiday
“I live for the ski season! I swear I must be Nordic on the inside.”
Separate from the above rule, simply because it crops up so often.
Drink every time you see a photo of someone skiing or snowboarding (although you’ll find it’s almost always the latter). Come on, guys. It’s almost summer.
Time to find a new hobby.
The Ambiguous Club Photo
You can tell he likes to party… but you can’t tell which one he actually is in the photo.
Drink for an ambiguous photo of drinks in the club with the mates, where you can’t tell who he actually is in the photo. Drink twice if he has his arm around a woman.
Finish your drink if he’s making out with a woman.
“Yeah, fuck you, I don’t care.”
Drink if he’s flipping off the camera in a photo. It’s not like he wants you to like him or anything.
He’s only on Tinder for the laughs. Drink twice if he has multiple photos where he’s flipping you off.
What a charmer.
The Tall Friend
“That’s right, ladies. I’m tall. You can wear heels whenever you want.”
Drink if he has his height in his bio. It’s almost always the tall guys who do this, as if the 6′ measurement will magically make more women swipe right.
Finish your drink if he’s listed his height but is under 5’7″.
Drink if one of his photos is from Oktoberfest — immediately recognisable by an overabundance of lederhosen, ridiculously large steins of beer and a group of friends known only as ‘the boyz’.
Drink twice if the photo is taken with a poor German barmaid.
The Guitar Solo
“I’m creative, musical and soulful. I’ll bring my guitar everywhere and insist on starting impromptu singalongs.”
Drink if he’s playing guitar in one of his photos. Just like posing with dogs, Tinder men can’t seem to get over the idea that guitars are a foolproof chick magnet.
Drink twice if he’s playing guitar on a stage in front of an actual audience.
The Nude Dude
“Let’s hang out!”
If he’s obviously completely nude in a photo, finish your drink.
You’re going to need it.
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