Winners! A Brand New 1TB Xbox One With Halo 5: Guardians!

This was another hotly contested Kotaku Australia competition. You guys and girls managed to make me properly laugh out loud more than once.

But winners have to be chosen.

First off, here are the prizes in full:

1st Prize

1 x 1TB Halo 5: Guardians Xbox One with copy of Halo 5: Guardians.

Runner Up

1x Halo 5: Guardians Limited Collector’s Edition

And the overall winner is...

The Winner

puppylicks The Spartan Smoko.

Your Spartan team decides it's time for a short break and calls smoko.

They sit down on ammo crates or little fold out stools, help themselves to a pie and a Big-M, and maybe break out the thermos for a quick cuppa. During this time they either discuss how the job is doing or, if the boss is not around, complain about the boss who clearly doesn't know what he's doing with this project.

This goes for about 10-15 minutes depending on how long it takes for the team to decide they can be buggered getting back to work. At which point they will do a half-hearted job of it until it's lunchtime in a couple of hours.

The Spartan Smoko doesn't really have any beneficial effects, but if you don't do it every match the team will get cranky and slack off even more. So you better do it.



Press LB to activate this ability and you will see a silhouette of every special weapon on the map, click on the one you want - you have now 'bagsed' (claimed) that weapon and you have 45 seconds to pick it up, any other player who attempts to pick up the weapon before you get there will find it booby trapped with explosives!

Finally a chance to get the good weapons instead of being at the mercy of that really good sniper who always knows where the damn thing spawns!

Honourable Mentions

I also want to highlight a couple of entries that came close.

sabuulia The Autocorrect.

Automatically changes any poor language to be more palatable. Examples would include:

"What the duck?"

"Are you pooping me?"

"Stop ducking around on reddit and kill some birds"

jumbino Randy Sp-orton For 60 seconds, your melee attack turns into a Randy Orton 'Outta Nowhere' style takedown which results in the hit enemy losing their shield and you switching their weapon with yours while they are in a daze.

jpano Spartan ability - Tips fedora -

A fedora flies across the screen caught by the spartan in a prowess manner. The spartan bellows "m'lady" summoning an army of Bronies to charge enemy Spartans. With each kill the screaming of "m'lady" grows lower and the tipping of the fedora intensifies.

wiretap Kasier Chief

When activated a mini game pops up asking you to predict if the next group of enemies you encounter are going to riot or not. If they do you, A catchy early 2000's rock number blares out of your TV speakers. If you don't, then you slowly fade into mediocrity and NME stops caring.

jimu The Divider

Master Chief removes his mask to reveal Native American heritage. Audience says in unison:

"Oh *Chieeef*, riiiiight."

Called The Divider because the nternet breaks in half trying to decide if finally having a prominent Native American protagonist in an American made video game outweighs the arguably racist connotations of referring to him as "Chief".

Congrats to the winners, we'll be in touch!

Thanks to everyone who entered.


    *cries like a man-baby*

      It's ok mate, I still think yours was one of the best. Mine was... well tasteless really XD

    I didn't even get a mention.

    ...I had so many likes too.

    Kasier Chief was my favourite

    Holy crap

      Thank you so much, I am absolutely stunned about this.

      Worthy winner mate, couldn't think of a more Aussie Spartan power beyond the properly stereotypical. Good stuff :D

        Except this is the most stereotypical Bogan power ever.

          Yeah but everyone always does stuff like "Croc hunter" or "drink lots of booze" or "be an arrogant racist" etc etc etc. I thought it was good to have a more common and well observed but slightly understated Aussie stereotype than something more in your face :)

      Good job! Nice way to finish the week. :-)

    Holy crap - i didn't even know this competition was a thing!!!

    Holy crap 2! PUPYLICKS YOU MAD DOG!

      I've missed so many comps in the past couple of years :\ Even though I look through the article each day when I get home, somehow I still seem to miss them these days. I'm sure the other members appreciate it though, given how much stuff you and I have won in the past ;)

      Last edited 06/11/15 3:38 pm

        ohhh yeahhhhh

        *epic fist bump*

        We da men!

    :( *broken* owell, least i got a mention

    Well done winners! Some awesome honourables too :)

    Damn well spent too long on mine to get it to the 300 word limit... Actually thought it needed be a necessary and somewhat real skill, so I even did research.

    He should have specified "The best joke that doesn't relate to the game wins" lol

      "The funniest, most creative, weirdest entry will win."

    What a fun little competition, grats to the Puppylicks and the runner ups. My personal favorite was floory565 with Gift of the Sun.

    What a joke.

    I get it, it's funny and Australian. But the only thing that has to do with halo is the word "Spartan".

    I read many posts that were funny and actually had "context" to the halo universe. How disappointing.

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